WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event #36
August 2, 2008
(Taped on 7/28/2008)
The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: CM Punk (6/30/2008)
Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston (6/29/2008)
Women’s Champion: Mickie James (4/14/2008)
World Tag Team Champions: Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes (6/29/2008)
WWE Champion: Triple H (4/27/2008)
U.S. Champion: Shelton Benjamin (7/20/2008)
Diva’s Champion: Michelle McCool (7/20/2008)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder (7/20/2008)
ECW Champion: Mark Henry (6/29/2008)
Your hosts are JR and the King! Could this be an omen that they’re getting back together? No, probably not.
- Batista, John Cena & Cryme Tyme vs. Kane, JBL, Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes
The World Champ CM Punk joins us on commentary. He does a really good job compared to most since he does have prior experience at that sort of thing. The big ‘uns start this one off. I’m talking about Kane and Batista. They exchange corner clotheslines leading to Batista getting stuck in the wrong part of town. Cody Rhodes tags in and he gets hoisted to the opposite corner for a tag to JTG. Cryme Tyme controls Rhodes as Shad launches JTG onto Rhodes while he’s in the corner. Shad press slams Rhodes for two. He delivers the Snake Eyes, but JBL pops Shad as he comes off the ropes. Rhodes tags Kane as we go to commercial. We come back to see JBL toss Shad out to allow Kane to get in some cheap guardrail action. Back in, JBL gets two. Tag to DiBiase for a suplex and the Million Dollar Fist Drops~! He runs Shad down with a clothesline for two. JR hypes NBC’s reality contest finales as Shad fights up out of a chinlock. DiBiase takes Shad over to his corner for the heels to triple-team, but Rhodes just doesn’t get it and will not join in on the fun. More basic face-in-peril stuff as the crowd chants for Cena or Batista. Shad reverses a suplex on DiBiase as Punk questions Lawler what he thinks is in Kane’s bag. Nobody at the table wants to find out. Really? No one’s even curious in the least bit? You know, a broadcast journalist like Bobby Heenan would be talking to some folk if he were sitting in Lawler’s chair. HOT TAG TO CENA! Shoulderblocks a plenty to JBL! Protobomb! “You can’t see me.” Five Knuckle Shuffle! FU? No! Kane breaks it up with a big boot. Batista runs Kane down with a spear. Shoulderblock to Rhodes and a AA Spinebuster to DiBiase! He goes with Kane off a clothesline out to the floor. JTG wants a tag from Cena so he can deliver the ROCKET LAUNCHER to DiBiase! I love it. Oh, but he’s not the legal man, JTG. The real legal man JBL gets rid of Cena by pulling him out and tossing him into the steel steps. JBL hops back in the ring and surprises JTG with the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL for 1-2-3. (13:00) Harmless formula tag. I really like Ted DiBiase, but what is Cody Rhodes doing? Does this guy even know any real wrestling moves? All in all, the Raw main event scene looks strong as we head into SummerSlam and that was the intention here. Above all else, it makes JBL look strong, who appears to be Punk’s upcoming PPV challenger. **½
Jeff Foxworthy gives me stats on autism! At least he didn’t throw in a “you might be a redneck if…” joke. Sorry to bust your chops Jeff, but It’s your fault people know who Larry the Cable Guy is!
After some commercials, Carmen Electra apparently had her pupils removed in order to encourage me to support Generation Rescue. That’s the only time I’ve ever seen her and she freaked me out in a BAD way.
- The Great Khali (w/Runjin Singh) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
Khali is an UNSTOPPABLE MONSTROSITY MAN. Well, at least until SummerSlam when he faces the GAME-UH. Yang tries to kick Khali down and winds up getting chopped while he’s in mid-air. TREE SLAM! Good night Yang. (1:27) That’s right. Get him in, get him out.
Ben Stiller takes time to read some autism-related sentences off a prompter. Thanks, Ben.
14 days until SummerSlam!
Jenny McCarthy (who I am convinced is only a figment of our imagination at this point in her life) battles autism with some encouraging words. Well, I didn’t see a clear cut winner, so let’s call it a draw for right now.
We check out a video package of Edge and Cankles Guerrero. He cheats on her with a black chick, tries to get back with Cankles by feeding her (har har) some BS lines, so she reinstates the Undertaker for a Hell in a Cell match at SummerSlam. Darn you Dr. Phil and your relationship advice!
- Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
They show a recap from last night’s Smackdown where Foley gave Edge a pep talk about facing the Undertaker in a HIAC match. He can’t be going around quoting lines from romantic comedies to Cankles when there’s serious business on the way. Foley tells Edge he needs to get his mind straight or the Undertaker will rip him apart! This results in an over-the-top beatdown on Foley. First Cole, now Foley! Sheesh. It’s a bad week to be a WWE announcer…unless your last name is Adamle. “Hardy” chants go up immediately. Hardy delivers some armdrags and grabs an armbar. Edge escapes and gets nailed with a dropkick through the ropes, followed by a pescado. Hardy whips Edge into the barricade and tries to flip onto him off the steel steps, but Edge moves and Hardy crashes and burns. Hardy is clutching at his knee as we go to break. Anybody else interested to see Pineapple Express? I love my Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly comedies, but Step Brothers just wasn’t that fun to me. I would much rather sit at home and watch Anchorman or Talladega Nights for the 2157th time. Oh well. So anyways, I’m hoping Pineapple Express makes up for Step Brothers. I just hope it’s not one of those movies where there’s too many funny people in it and not enough funny to go around because of a weak script, you know what I mean? Okay, back to the match. Edge is getting all psychological on us by working the injured *ahem* knee. Hardy makes the ropes off a legbar and tries to come back, but Edge shrugs off the mule kick. He knows Jeff Hardy pretty well, you see. Edge posts the knee, but soon Hardy starts up another comeback with a clothesline. He sets up Edge in the tree of woe, but Edge avoids the baseball slide by merely sitting up at the appropriate time. Hardy forearms Edge down and gets the dropkick after all. Slow cover, 1-2-NO! TWIST OF FATE is reversed into the EDGECUTION! Cover, 1-2-NO! Edge puts his crazy face on and waits for the SPEAR, but Jeff sidesteps and hits Whisper in the Wind for 1-2-NO! Jeff delivers a sitout front suplex and goes for the SWANTON BOMB, but Edge rolls away. Jeff hops down and is still selling the knee really well. Edge kicks the knee and goes for the SPEAR, but Jeff manages to leapfrog over Edge to send him to the floor. Now Jeff has himself draped on the apron, leaving him wide open for MVP to jump the rail and kick Jeff Hardy right in the FACE. MVP jumps back over the rail and politely heads for the exit sign. I can’t even count all the times he told the kind people in the floor section “excuse me” so he could maybe head out to help a citizen in need. Gosh, what a gentleman. What a role model that Montel Vontavious Porter fellow turned out to be. Who knew a convicted armed robber could be so NICE! Hardy looks like he just woke up from sniffing glue all day and turns around into a SPEAR from Edge. Buddy, that puts them ALL down. (13:24) Excellent TV match from these two. Impressive selling from Jeff throughout considering nobody in the WWE does it very well anymore (looking at you Cena), and the MVP interference was fine by me. It made this match mean something more than just a good vs. evil exhibition. ***¼
Final Thoughts: A completely harmless hour of wrestling to put over SummerSlam and bury autism. Kind of weird SNME booking of having all the heels going over. Edge and Hardy fans may want to check this show out, but the tag match was nothing we haven’t been seeing on Raw for the past few weeks. Hey, neutral feelings on this show from my view.