PWG: The Musical
April 17, 2004
Santa Ana, CA
Your hosts are Disco Machine & Excalibur.
Before the first match begins, everybody from Scorpio Sky’s stable (The Aerial Express?) is in the ring. Chris Bosh, Quicksilver, Charles Mercury, Top Gun Talwar and Scorpio Sky himself. Bosh insults the crowd. “You can hate us, you can love us – but we’re getting paid.” Sweet. Scorpio Sky is on the MIC! He recalls what happened last month in his Guerilla Warfare match with Super Dragon. Since that crazy finish where Super Dragon double-stomped his head on a chair, he’s had a dream about getting in a fight with Captain Crunch and he’s realized that maybe Super Dragon isn’t such a bad guy. Everybody in his crew is confused. Top Gun Talwar’s balls shove back into his body as he speaks on the microphone. See, he’s got a steroid thing going on. Talwar mocks the WWE by saying that if Scorpio wants respect, first he’ll have to wrestle KANE~! Awesome. No Kane, of course. Scorpio gets psyched up for his match against Disco Machine and tonight, Super Dragon is going to get SERVED to Bosh and Quicksilver.
- Top Gun Talwar & Charles Mercury vs. Human Tornado & Supa Badd
Talwar and Tornado start us off. There’s a funny little bit where Talwar runs into the ropes backwards for some reason and then takes a pimp slap from Tornado. Double-suplex to Talwar sets up an ugly standing shooting star press from Tornado where he lands on his face. It still gets two. Talwar bites Tornado’s ashy elbow to fight back. Tornado starts to dance only to get creamed with a clothesline. Tag to Mercury, he keeps Tornado grounded with a chinlock. Back to Talwar. He snapmares Tornado over for a sliding shoulderblock. Talwar covers Tornado while he’s doing push-ups and gets kicked away by Supa Badd. More ground and pound on Tornado as his fly has apparently come open during this match. Talwar seems to have a bad habit of biting Tornado’s elbow cleavage. Tornado avoids a corner charge by Mercury and flips off the ropes into an inverted facelock neckbreaker. HOT TAG TO SUPA BADD! Clothesline city! Atomic drops all around! DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Chokeslam to Mercury! Cover, 1-2-NO! Talwar breaks it up. Talwar wants a chokeslam on the much taller Supa Badd, but can’t get it done. Oh wait, yes he does. Completely unrealistic, but anyways. Talwar tosses out Supa Badd as Human Tornado springboards into a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! He doesn’t give it up, so Talwar delivers a flying legdrop to him while he’s still in the hold. Mercury turns him over for a jackknife cover and gets three. (8:47) Pretty run-of-the-mill stuff. However, the hot tag to Supa Badd was fun. **¼
- Apollo Khan vs. Ricky Reyes
No relation to Killer Khan. Apollo Khan looks like the love child of the “Gold Standard” Shelton Benjamin and “The Natural” Butch Reed. And we have Ricky Reyes – who is definitely the more boring of the two Havana Pitbulls. The feeling-out process ends when they start throwing forearms. Reyes wins that showdown. I think. He got in the last shot. After a headlock from Reyes, he shoulderblocks Khan in the knee when he tries a leapfrog to create a problem for Khan. This match becomes a little more interesting once Reyes pulls down the knee pad of the injured leg as Reyes delivers some pretty sick kicks to the knee. Khan jumps over a second sliding kick and nails Reyes with a springboard spear. Uhhhhhhh, what about your knees? Khan starts throwing Reyes around with armdrags. A series of three rolling snap suplexes gets two. Reyes has enough of that and takes Khan down for a half crab, but he finds the ropes. Now he’s dishing out a couple rolling Northern Lights suplexes. What is wrong with this guy? That gets two. Reyes fights off some sort of spinebuster not just once, but the second time he drills Khan with a DDT. Khan NO-SELLS. Oh wow. Reyes takes this scrub down for a Rolling Kneebar and gets the submission we have been wanting to see. (9:37) The no-selling from this Apollo Khan guy ruined this match. Reyes looks pretty strong here with giving out most of the offense in this match, which will become important later. *½
- Disco Machine vs. Scorpio Sky
It’s the match that Scorpio Sky has been looking forward to – getting his hands on a member of the SBS. Waistlocks and wristlocks to start. Scorpio prevents himself from suffering a CHOKEBREAKER and monkey flips Disco away. He follows up by taking Disco to the floor with a headscissors and BASHES his head in with a mini disco ball given to him by a fan, says Disco on commentary. Back in, that gets two. Scorpio pulls a page out of Super Dragon’s playbook as he full-nelsons Disco with his legs while he proceeds to kick Disco in the back of his head and neck. I have no idea what you call that hold, but I have seen Super Dragon do that to a couple different people and it looks very painful. Disco tries to escape, so Scorpio laces his jaw with clubbing forearms. Disco avoids the FINAL ANSWER and hits a fisherman’s suplex for 1-2-NO! In between taking time and shaking his booty, he kicks Scorpio to the floor and delivers his cannonball splash off the apron! They fight to the other side of the floor where Disco slaps Scorpio across the face with the PWG bananas. Back inside, Disco gives Scorpio a senton and goes for his Straight Jacket Piledriver. Can he pull it off? Looks pretty dangerous. Nope, he can’t. Scorpio maneuvers out and delivers the FINAL ANSWER! He doesn’t even let go of Disco as he applies a triangle choke for the win. (7:59) Because nothing says ‘respect me’ like making another man tap out. The AXP boys storm the ring to stomp down Disco Machine. Scorpio Sky calls them off and stands face-to-face with Chris Bosh. Scorpio shoves Bosh back – and Bosh retaliates with MAXIMUM BOSH! Talwar and Mercury join in to beat up Scorpio, but Quicksilver pulls them off him. What is going on with these guys?! **½
- The Thomaselli Brothers vs. The X-Foundation
This is, in fact, a six-man tag match. We have Joey Ryan, Scott Lost and “Funky” Billy Kim squaring off against Vito, Sal and Brandon (of all names) of the Thomaselli family. While you may associate their names with rather large Italian people, all three brothers are essentially the same size of say Tony Mamaluke or Little Guido from ECW. Vito and Joey are “feeling it out” to begin things. Once that’s over, Billy Kim and Brandon tag. Kim is all over Brandon with a headlock. He takes Brandon off the ropes for a rollup and then nails him with a double-thrust ala Ricky Steamboat. The X-Foundation keep Brandon on their side of town for a while as they take turns giving this poor guy dropkicks. A jawbreaker to Lost is all it takes for Brandon to reach Sal for a tag. Lost catches Sal with a D-Von Dudley style corkscrew back elbow smash. Sal catches Lost coming at him in the corner and stunguns Scott in the corner. Front dropkick gets two. Nice back suplex by Sal. He tags Vito for a flying legdrop for two. Brandon tags in and hits a standing shooting star press. Disco Machine ~ “That was unexpected!” And they have seen this match before! Now Lost is cut off from his tag team partners for a little bit. Scott Lost battles back by flipping over Sal to prevent a backdrop ala Jacques Rougeau and nails Sal with a DDT. HOT TAG TO JOEY RYAN! Dropkicks a plenty! Slams for you and yours! This match breaks down as Billy Kim drops Vito’s neck from a fireman’s carry position across his knee! Cover by the legal man Joey Ryan, 1-2-NO! Ryan and Kim do the AMW toss on Vito into Lost for a sitout powerbomb for 1-2-NO! Brandon stops the count with a flying headbutt and then takes Ryan to the floor. In the ring, Lost gives Vito the Superman Spear. Now Lost rolls out and Ryan gets rolled in the ring. He’s left alone with all three of the Thomaselli brothers. They all ascend to the top rope in three separate corners! Looks like somebody has watched Ready to Rumble one too many times. IT’S A THREE POST MASSACRE to Joey Ryan! Vito covers Joey for 1-2-NO! Ryan reverses a whip and grabs Vito for the XTINCTION AGENDA. Lost is up top, but he decides to jump down on Sal and Brandon instead. Understandably so, Joey isn’t very happy with that. Vito grabs him for an ELECTRIC CHAIR DRIVER for the 1-2-3. (12:30) Didn’t seem like they put much effort into the match until everything broke down. After the match, Joey blames Lost for the um…loss. Things are not good in the X-Foundation camp. Everybody seems to be breaking up these days! **¾
- B-Boy vs. Christopher Daniels
For a fallen angel, Daniels sure is non-intimidating with those orange tights tonight. Very tentative feeling-out process with these two. Daniels schools B-Boy with an escape out of a headscissors into a headlock of his own. Excalibur ~ “Christopher Daniels has won more titles and tournaments than I have ate hamburgers over the course of my entire life – and I am a fan of the hamburger.” Just a little gem on commentary I thought I would share. Daniels delivers our first impactful move with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by a back suplex to put a little bit of hurting on B-Boy. Curt Hennig neck snap gets two. After a hard whip in the corner, Daniels charges into a spinebuster and takes a forearm to the floor. B-Boy takes advantage and hits Daniels with a plancha! Back inside, Daniels fights out of a chinlock and gives B-Boy a reverse STO. B-Boy refuses to lay down and kicks Daniels away. Suplex and a knee drop to the back of the head gets two for B-Boy. He changes his focus and begins to work on Daniels arm all of a sudden. Crossface chickenwing is applied. Just when it looks like Daniels might get a break, B-Boy delivers an armbreaker DDT and grabs a Nagata Lock III. It’s a painful submission no doubt. B-Boy boots away a corner clothesline and bulldogs the arm to set up a Nagata Lock II! Yuji Nagata IN DA HOUSE! Daniels mounts a comeback with an STO. He sells the arm, but still manages a Blue Thunder Driver for 1-2-NO! B-Boy slows down Daniels with a German suplex. He catches Daniels coming at him in the corner and raises a boot to set up a Buff Blockbuster for 1-2-NO! B-Boy comes off the middle rope, but gets caught for a Samoan drop. BME connects! Cover, 1-2-NO! Double-KO ensues. They trade some nearfalls – ending with B-Boy giving Daniels a Northern Lights suplex and rolling through into a brainbuster! Cover, 1-2-NO! Back to the Nagata Lock II! Daniels tries for the ropes, but B-Boy rolls over which puts them both in the center of the ring. Now the Nagata Lock III! Ahh, Daniels manages to get his foot on the bottom rope. B-Boy prevents the LAST RITES once, but he can’t do it again. That gets the win for Christopher Daniels. (16:00) What a great match. I loved the arm work from B-Boy. It seemed random to begin with, but he just kept coming and coming with it. ***½
We’re supposed to have Hardkore Kidd vs. Teddy Hart, but first we have Hardkore Kid is on the MIC! He’s appalled at this PWG crowd for cussing so much. Long story short, he pulls out a Cuss Jar for various foul-mouthed PWG fans to put money in if they want to drop four-letter words all over the Elks Lodge. Funny, but it was a pretty long segment that could have been cut shorter. Teddy Hart comes out with a random blonde chick. He puts himself over a bunch saying that nobody has more balls than him and that he never uses his last name to his advantage. Another long story short, Teddy is taking the night off and brings out a couple dudes from Special K to wrestle in his place. Although, Teddy Hart and his woman will be sitting at ringside to watch the match and he will be back in PWG one of these days.
- Hardkore Kidd (w/El Jefe) vs. Lit & Deranged – Handicap Match
Well, Hardkore Kidd is so insulted for Teddy Hart turning him down. Excalibur calls Lit and Deranged the ‘gayest thing since gay came to gay town.’ Apparently, he’s not a fan of Special K, but a big fan of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force! These two can’t handle Hardkore Kid at all. He manhandles them around like the gorilla and the suitcase commercial. Finally, Deranged snaps off a few lucha armdrags and Hardkore Kidd hits the floor. Lit nails Kidd with a suicide dive and has a time getting Kidd to fall down. Deranged follows them out with a springboard moonsault on the floor. In the ring, Deranged leaps off Lit’s back for a roundhouse kick to Kidd in the corner. He tries again and gets caught for a spinebuster on Lit! Teddy Hart distracts Kidd to allow Special K to double low-blow. Somehow, Teddy Hart and the ref Mike Knox are down on the floor. Silly camera man getting too close of a shot. Kidd still kicks these buffoons away, but Hart jumps up top and nails him with a Diving DDT. Open Hart Surgery! Hart puts the Special K boys on top and exits the ring while El Jefe is helping the ref (?!?!) back into the ring. That is not even supposed to happen like that. No three-count is made. Lit and Deranged spout off to Teddy and climb to the top together. Hardkore brings them down with a DOUBLE SUPER ACE CRUSHER! SOUTH OF THE BORDER to Deranged! SOUTH OF THE BORDER to Lit! Kidd places his foot on Lit and gets the 1-2-3. (7:15) Wow. So far, that was the worst match I’ve seen in PWG. Kidd would have one last match in PWG losing to Frankie Kazarian at next month’s 44 Ways To Kill You With A Pimento show before heading off to WWE for a short-lived stint as Carlito’s sidekick Jesús in late 2004. His most memorable match while at the ‘E had to be at Armageddon where he faced John Cena in street fight. He would return to PWG at the Zombies (Shouldn’t Run) show in August 2005. *
- PWG Tag Team Champions Chris Bosh & Quicksilver vs. Excalibur & Super Dragon