Monday Night Raw
March 1, 1993
New York City
The current WWF champs were as follows:
World Champion: Bret Hart (10/12/1992)
Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels (10/27/1992)
World Tag Team Champions: Money Inc. (10/13/1992)
Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Rob “Elvis Presley” Bartlett.
- WWF Champion Bret Hart vs. Fatu (w/Afa)
Just in case you didn’t catch it in the intro, Bartlett is being unfunny doing an Elvis impersonation and adding nothing to the match. I miss Bobby Heenan. Bret is on his way to WrestleMania 9 to battle the much LARGER Yokozuna. It only makes sense that he would be wrestling some big men to get him ready for that big title defense. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it appears this is for the WWF title? Bret keeps his eye on Afa who is talking to a shrunken head at ringside. Bret stays adamant with an armbar to start. He feigns a knee injury and school boys Fatu when he turns away. AWESOME. Back to the armbar. When Fatu telegraphs a backdrop, Bret slams his head down to the mat. That fails because he’s a foreigner and Bret eats a superkick for two. Fatu’s next weapon of choice is a nerve hold. Eventually, out comes Samu to make matters worse for the Hitman. When Bret gets tossed to the floor, Samu gives him a good slam and smashes his face off the corner of the steps. OUCH. We step away for a commercial break. When we come back, Fatu whips Bret into the corner a couple times. After some Harley Race style falling headbutts, Fatu delivers a great piledriver for 1-2-NO! Bret takes his chest-first corner bump and then a Flying Headbutt gets 1-2-NO! Fatu tries another, but Bret stops him up top and brings Fatu down with a superplex! That gets two. Bret delivers the running bulldog, the backbreaker, and the flying vertical elbow to set up the SHARPSHOOTER! Afa is on the apron, allowing Samu to sneak in and break that up. The Headshrinkers do a switch as Samu covers Bret for 1-2-NO! Back to Fatu, Bret grabs a sleeper and throws him off into Samu when he tries to interfere again. That puts Samu in such a bad way as his head gets caught in the ropes! Russian legsweep to Fatu! Afa eats a dropkick off the apron and the SHARPSHOOTER on Fatu ends this whole thing. (12:55 shown) Great TV match with Bret being the wrestling hero that he is and overcoming the odds. ***
It’s time for the WrestleMania IX Report with Mean Gene! Looks like Money Inc. had the NERVE to challenge the Mega Maniacs for a match, Giant Gonzales will face the Undertaker, IC champ Shawn Michaels defends his title against the undefeated Tatanka, Mr. Perfect meets the Narcissist, and the MAIN EVENT: WWF champ Bret Hart takes on Yokozuna! This all happens April 4 at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas! Don’t miss it! Before we leave, Okerlund tries a Joey Buttafuoco joke at Randy Savage’s expense. What is this, 1993? Oh wait, it is.
Live via satellite on a beach in Hawaii, Crush picks up a coconut and CRUSHES it to show what he’s going to do to Doink the Clown at WrestleMania, bruddah.
- Doink the Clown vs. Koko B. Ware
Doink carries a gift-wrapped package with him to the ring, giving fans at ringside false hopes of receiving this gift. He stretches Koko a bunch and applies the STUMP PULLER for the win. (1:49) Afterwards, Rob Bartlett tries to interview Doink. Some shenanigans take place and Bartlett gets a pie in the face because Elvis was hungry. GET IT? BECAUSE ELVIS WAS FAT WHEN HE DIED? FAT PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS HUNGRY! HA HA HA!
Moving on. Vince McMahon introduces Money, Inc. DiBiase talks up the so-called terrible near $10 million deal American Express is giving their former CEO who is stepping down from the company. Not sure what that has to do with Hogan and Beefcake, but okay. DiBiase thinks Hogan has turned soft since he hasn’t wrestled in a year’s time and been out living in Hollywood enjoying the good life. Beefcake is an even bigger fail as he hasn’t wrestled in over TWO years’ time. As for Jimmy Hart leaving, he was just an overpaid gopher anyway. IRS says he’s changed the name of the briefcase to the ‘beefcase’ and puts Hogan’s picture on one of the sides to show how he’s their next victim. Last and certainly not least, they decide to put their WWF tag titles on the line against the Mega Maniacs at WrestleMania IX.
- The Narcissist vs. PJ Walker
In a weird moment, Bartlett wants Luger to make his boobies dance. Matrix debuts on the USA Network after tonight’s Raw. Not that Matrix, obviously. This one unfortunately is Canadian. Luger whips this poor sap from corner to corner like a BOSS. Bobby Heenan calls into the show for some shenanigans and to put over Lex, which is awesome. BIONIC FOREARM by Luger and he pins PJ Walker with his pinky finger for the win at 3:15. Luger remains awesome as he takes PJ Walker over to his mirror to point out how pathetic he is and how GREAT Lex is.
- The Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill & Barry Hardy
Poor Duane Gill and Barry Hardy MATCH! Same horrible looking hair, black trunks, and white boots. Hardy gets thrown around by Scott until Rick runs him down with a Steinerline. Rick then runs him into the corner and Gill gets a tag. Rick gives Duane a tilt-a-whirl powerslam and tags Scott. Pumphandle slam by Scott. The Butterfly Slam leads to the FRANKENSTEINER for the victory at 4:06.
Next week: Money Inc. squares off against El Matador and Virgil! Mr. Perfect meets the Model!