Monday Night Raw
May 20, 1996
Sioux City, IA
The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Shawn Michaels (3/31/96)
Intercontinental Champion: Goldust (4/22/96)
World Tag Team Champions: The Godwinns (5/19/96)
Some quick Madison Square Garden highlights start the show. Phineas kissed Sunny and that’s about all we can draw from what we saw. Hmpfh, sounds like a pretty uneventful show if you ask me.
Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.
- Steve Austin (w/Ted DiBiase) vs. Marc Mero (w/Sable)
Vince announces that the Bodydonnas have “kissed the WWF tag team championship goodbye”. He doesn’t say who the new tag champs are exactly, but the opening montage gives it away. The camera has a hard time seeing Marc Mero with all that Sable in the way. Mero grabs an armbar to kill some time. Austin breaks loose, but is forced to retreat after a flurry of offense. Mero wants to fly and show off how wild he is, but Austin heads over to a corner. Back in, Austin delivers a hotshot and the Bossman straddle for two. Mero starts slugging back and gets yanked out to the floor. Commercials! When we come back, Austin hits the flying forearm smash for two. Time for a chinlock. Sable is twirling that whip around distracting everybody. She’s not that hot, she’s just annoying. Mero fights out and grabs a sleeper, but Austin counters with a jawbreaker. Mero escapes another chinlock and mounts his comeback with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Knee Lift and flying double sledge gets two. DiBiase grabs a foot and distracts Mero as Austin nails him from behind. Austin heads up top just as Savio Vega appears with his Caribbean strap to whip him for the DQ. (9:40 shown) Mero is less than pleased with Savio for costing him the match. This was okay considering how much time these two have had with each other in WCW, but they would have a better match at the King of the Ring. **
Video package showing Ahmed Johnson loving on the people of Kuwait and winning the first-ever Kuwait Cup. ALLAH APPROVES.
Yesterday at a comic book shop in Queens, the Ultimate Warrior debuted his new comic book and signed a bazillion copies. This is where McMahon introduces to the belief system Warrior follows that he made up called “DESTRUCITY”. Urban Dictionary defines “DESTRUCITY” as a word that means:
“…a constellation existing in the heavens which symbolizes the “Eight Disciplines” by which Warriors choose to live their lives. Brought to existence by the destinies of those willing to die for their Beliefs, brought to exist as a place where people live by Belief in the evolution of their Higher Selves-constantly evolving toward a completion of their chosen destiny-all with strength in the denial of “System Beliefs”-the very Beliefs that amplify differences in and create rights, wrongs, judgments, and opinions of people, places, and things.”
In other words and I could not have said it better, “the Ultimate Warrior lost his mind and made up a word called ‘Destrucity’.”
- Savio Vega vs. The 1-2-3 Kid (w/Ted DiBiase)
It’s important to note that this is the 1-2-3 Kid’s final match in the WWF. He had a take a break in between now and September when he debuted in WCW to nurse some concussions. DiBiase joins Vince and King at the commentary table carrying his chauffer hat with him. Much like in the first match, there’s some early arm work. Savio spinning heel kicks Kid in the corner to take them both out on the floor. Back in, Vega grabs a chinlock as it seems the Kid’s lip is busted open. DiBiase taunts Savio with the hat to bring him off the Kid and turn the tide with a spinning heel kick. Running dropkick in the corner sets up a flying splash for 1-2-NO! Commercials! Anybody else notice that the ‘WWF Superstar Line’ music is Lex Luger’s theme music in WCW? When we return, DiBiase and King are making Puerto Rican jokes because that’s what heels do. Kid is still in control, but gets taken down with a uranage. After he misses another flying splash, Savio locks him down in a three quarter nelson for the win. (8:09 shown) HOROWITZ WINS! HOROWITZ WINS! Sorry. Sort of an anti-climatic finish, but a decent match otherwise. Definitely match of the night. They make up for it by bringing out Steve Austin for a three-on-one Million Dollar Corporation attack. DiBiase puts the chauffer’s hat on Savio while Austin holds him down with the leather strap. **½
Alright, time for some MSG highlights. They show Shawn Michaels appearing, but do not show or even mention who he faces. Henry Godwinn and Hillbilly Jim catch Sunny coming out of their dressing room after some alone time with Phineas. During the match, Sunny causes all sorts of distraction for Phineas until he gives her a big wet sloppy kiss. Phineas hits the SLOP DROP on Zip and wins the WWF tag titles. It’s announced that the Godwinns will take on the Smoking Gunns with the tag belts on the line on the ‘Free For All’ this weekend.
Back in the arena, Jim Ross brings out Paul Bearer. Undertaker is laying in a casket. As Taker starts to talk, out comes Mankind to tie the lid shut so he can beat the crap out of this casket. Meanwhile, Goldust and Marlena come out and keep Paul Bearer at bay. Wild stuff!
- Davey Boy Smith (w/Diana Hart-Smith, Jim Cornette & Clarence Mason) vs. Jake Roberts
Before the match, Jim Cornette announces that his lawyer Clarence Mason has got a restraining order against Shawn Michaels that says he cannot come within a 100 yards of Diana Hart-Smith. Therefore, Shawn Michaels can’t do color commentary tonight. Well, out comes WWF President Gorilla Monsoon (or as Cornette calls him, “Mr. Baboon”) to confirm that the document is legally binding. However, he decides that Diana Hart-Smith is banned from ringside. OH SNAP. So Shawn Michaels joins us for commentary to try and vindicate himself from all these nasty rumors. He basically goes back and forth with Jerry Lawler on these allegations throughout the match, which is why the work in the ring is so lame. Bulldog works the knee the entire time. It’s not much more interesting than that. Shawn goes on and on about how he’s a grown man who respects everybody – except Jerry Lawler, that is. Lawler drops the biggest bombshell of them all to prove that Shawn is a ‘love her and leave her’-type. He tells the world that Shawn has just finished posing for Playgirl magazine. Of course, Shawn calls the whole thing “innocent”. Who is he kidding? Vince even admits that he has a problem with the poor timing of Shawn’s choice to do that photo shoot, being the WWF champion and the face of the company that markets to kids. After a commercial break, Diana Hart-Smith returns to ringside to confront Michaels and throws water in his face. He can’t hit a woman, so Shawn settles for Jim Cornette instead. Out comes Davey Boy Smith to jump Michaels as we go off the air. (11:25 shown) As I mentioned above, this had little to do with a match and more to do with heating up the main event for the PPV. With what we got though, I wish it had been a little hotter. ¾*
NEXT WEEK: We get the King of the Ring tournament qualifying matches started with Ahmed Johnson taking on Vader while Goldust meets the ULTIMATE WARRIOR!