WWE: Monday Night Raw (07.29.96)

mondaynightraw

Monday Night Raw
July 29, 1996
Seattle, WA
Key Arena

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Shawn Michaels (3/31/96)
Intercontinental Champion: Ahmed Johnson (6/23/96)
World Tag Team Champions: The Smoking Gunns (5/26/96)

Last week, Faarooq Asad made his debut and ambushed Ahmed Johnson so badly that he ruptured Ahmed’s kidney. Who is this beast and why did he attack Ahmed? We’ll find out tonight on Monday Night RAWWWWWW.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.

  • Psycho Sid vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw (w/Uncle Zebekiah)

This is the first match on Raw for Sid since the Raw Bowl on January 1. He gets a GIGANTIC reaction from these Seattle fans. After Sid wins in a battle of fisticuffs, he gives Bradshaw a Chokeslam. After that happens, Uncle Zeb causes a distraction and Bradshaw hits Sid with the cowbell for the DQ. (1:04) Sid thwarts the 2-on-1 attack and gives them both POWERBOMBS. ¼*

Now we go backstage with Faarooq Asad (and his funny helmet) and Sunny. She calls Faarooq the REAL modern day gladiator and the champion of the 90s. He tells Ahmed that he ain’t his “brother” and how there’s no rules in street fighting. HA! He is always mumbling something about how it is on the streets. Pssh! That dude lives in Mississippi. What does he know about the streets! A match that never happens between Ahmed and Faarooq at SummerSlam over the IC title is announced.

  • Vader (w/Jim Cornette) vs. Marc Mero (w/Sable)

Sable has to be the only reason we’re seeing so much of Mero. He’s an okay wrestler and all, but he’s wrestled on four out of five Raws this month. Jim Cornette grabs the third headset for this match. Mero starts off with a flurry of offense, but Vader stops him with a Body Attack. Wheelbarrow facebuster continues the damage. Vader unloads on Mero in the corner with those signature blows. Clothesline and a splash gets two. Mero tries to punch back, but can’t withstand Vader’s blows. While Vader says something to Sable, Mero fights up and hits a quick crossbody block for 1-2-NO! To the floor, Mero lands a somersault plancha. Back inside, Mero overshot the flying sunset flip, but Vader backs up for him anyways. Oh, boy. Mero avoids the squash, but then flies down into a powerslam for the 1-2-3. (6:23) Except for that hokey sunset flip spot, this was just the kind of match both guys needed at the time. Cornette tells Vince that he wants Jose Lothario to meet him out in the ring. **

Super-Size Stridex presents the Biggest Slam of the Week: From earlier tonight when Sid gave Bradshaw and Uncle Zeb powerbombs.

After the break, Vince meets with Jim Cornette and Jose Lothario in this very ring. Cornette runs off at the mouth about how he’s going to get back at Lothario for beating him up at the Free For All portion of In Your House. Shawn Michaels is watching on the monitor backstage. He calls Lothario a has-been who became somebody again after managing Shawn Michaels to the WWF title, but now Cornette is going to take all that pride and glory away from Lothario by having Vader defeat Shawn Michaels for the WWF title at SummerSlam. He crosses the line though when he calls Lothario “trash” and considers HBK trash as well. Super Sock threatens Cornette for what he’s said. As he turns to walk away, Cornette tries to pearl harbor him with the tennis racket. Lothario sees it coming and knocks Corny out of the ring with a right hand. Meanwhile, Mankind has ambushed Shawn Michaels with the MANDIBLE CLAW. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Let Us Take You Back to: Superstars, 7/27/96. Aldo Montoya is now using Jake Roberts as his role model and defeats Jerry Lawler with the DDT.

We hear from Aldo Montoya on the split-screen. For a proud Portuguese, he sure does speak perfect English. A rematch between Lawler and Montoya is scheduled for next week on Raw. Lawler says he’s found out that Montoya is Jake’s “designated driver” and the only reason he lost was because of all the “intoxicating fumes” coming off of his body. He promises that Aldo will have bigger problems next week than anything Jake has ever faced.

  • Davey Boy Smith (w/Owen Hart) vs. Henry O. Godwinn (w/Hillbilly Jim)

Owen joins Vince & King for commentary. He can’t stand the stench of these hillbillies. Godwinn blocks a monkey flip and hits the wheelbarrow facebuster we saw in the last match. I don’t understand why they are giving these Godwinns so much offense lately. If there’s any reason they are drawing ratings, it’s because there’s a chance of seeing Sunny. Owen gets a little upset when Vince mentions his brother Bret to him. He’s also tired of people asking him about his broken arm. It’s taking so long to heal because people keep headbutting it! DUH! Godwinn reverses a suplex as we go to commercial. When we return, Owen interrupts the Slop Drop and turns over the slop bucket to prevent any shenanigans. Bulldog clotheslines Godwinn from behind and delivers the RUNNING POWERSLAM for the win. (7:46 shown) When he was half of the main event on WWF PPVs and not making main event money, did you know WCW was trying hard to get Davey Boy Smith in 1996? Apparently, the deal was he would be pushed back down the card and given a long tag titles run with Owen starting in September. *½

Clips of Mark Henry setting the U.S. record for dead-lifting 903 pounds. That may still be the record too. Not that I would ever consider myself to be a power lifter, as I was just a regular 300-pound dead lifter. Three times that weight is insane. He does a 953 pound squat and 600 pounds on the bench. Forget about it. World’s Strongest Man. Plus, he’s got charisma! He can even dunk a basketball! He recently appeared on Oprah and gave Jerry Lawler a press slam about four months ago on Raw. They show us all this to advertise that he’ll be at the weightlifting competition at the Summer Olympics on Tuesday night. While Henry would not win a single medal (neither did anyone else on the U.S. weightlifting team), Kurt Angle however would win a gold medal on July 30 in wrestling for the 220-pound weight class.

  • The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Steve Austin

We get some EXCITING STILL SHOTS of the finish to the Undertaker/Goldust match. From In Your House, Goldust is stroking Mankind’s hair and arm in a boiler room while he spouts some insanity about his “mommy”. Marlena is standing close by, but doesn’t seem to mind. This is a rematch from the last Raw of June when Goldust cost the Undertaker the match by throwing gold dust in his face. Austin promises victory this time around. Mankind is now walking around in the Key Arena’s boiler room, so we know he’s here. Don’t switch over to Nitro, please! Taker NO-SELLS what Austin is throwing and hits the Jumping Lariat. He tries Old School, but Austin shakes the ropes to bust his balls. Even a Deadman will sell that. Austin chokes him in the corner and then stomps a mudhole in him and walks it dry. That’s what Lawler calls it anyways. Flying vertical elbow gets two. Taker fights out of a corner and ties Austin up in the ropes for more abuse. Austin avoids a jumping elbow drop and snaps Taker’s neck on the top rope. We take one more look at Mankind lurking around the boiler room before we take a break. When we come back, Taker punches out of a chinlock, but then takes a piledriver. While Austin heads up top, Taker SITS UP and falls back into the ropes to crotch Austin. Taker brings him down to the mat with a HUGE Chokeslam! He picks up Austin for the Tombstone when Mankind appears. Taker can’t help but let go of Austin to go brawl with Mankind in the aisle to get counted out. (10:02 shown) Austin wins! After Taker beats Mankind back towards the locker room, he comes back to the ring and delivers a TOMBSTONE to Austin. Better than last time, but not a classic by any means. **½

Vince meets the Undertaker and Paul Bearer in the ring. In the Boiler Room Brawl at SummerSlam, Mankind will finally rest in peace.

NEXT WEEK: Invitational battle royal to find out who gets the next WWF title shot after Vader! Plus, Jerry Lawler looks for revenge on Aldo Montoya!

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