Bigelow’s Raw Report 4/27/09
Monday Night Raw 4/27/09
Arena at Harbor Yard
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
– We start the show in the arena with the lights down. Lillian introduces Vickie Guerrero and as the lights come up, she is standing center ring. She is proud that her husband Edge captured the World Championship last night. The crowd is all over her here. As the GM of Raw, it is her honor to introduce the new WWE Champion: Randy Orton. Orton, DiBiase and Rhodes saunter out to the ring as Cole recaps Orton’s title win last night for us. Randy climbs to the middle rope and he holds his belt high over his head. He hits all of the other corners, taking his time and soaking it all in. Orton grabs the mic from Vickie and address the crowd. The McMahon family is mourning because their last hope, their protector, their champion has fallen. Last night, after five long years, he beat Triple H. He didn’t just pin him, he beat him and kicked him in the skull as hard as he could to put him out, just like he said he was going to do. No one backstage or in the crowd can say that. All of the people in the arena and at home watching are all exactly the same. Those in their 20s and younger are hoping for big things and success, but odds are they will all amount to nothing. Those in their 30s and older already are nothing. He is a success and he has made history. He has created a legacy that has resulted in the destruction of the McMahon family. And with that we get a video package highlighting said destruction. Back live, Vickie wants to tell Orton that she is excited he is on her show as WWE Champion. She is happy to announce that his first title defense will be at Judgment Day. The contender will be decided tonight when the Big Show battles Batista. She congratulates Orton on behalf of the fans. Orton wants us all to know something: he is all we have left. We don’t need to like him, but we have no choice but to respect him. Not just us, all of the superstars in the locker room too. Vickie may be the GM but everyone in the locker room answers to him. If he doesn’t get the respect he deserves, they will all end up like Triple H. He doesn’t care how long they have been here, every single one…and we hear the clock ticking as the US Champion MVP has decided to crash the party. He stands on the ramp smirking, and then introduces himself to Orton. What Orton has done is extremely impressive, but MVP is putting him on notice because he doesn’t answer to anybody. DiBiase takes the mic and says that MVP isn’t too bright. Unless MVP wants his first night on Raw to be the worst of his life, he should turn around and walk off right now. MVP calls him a lackey and says he isn’t going anywhere. He doesn’t have any Abercrombie & Fitch models speaking for him and this is Monday Night Raw and not the Randy Orton show. He didn’t come here to be talked down to and neither did anyone else in the arena. Orton may be the WWE Champion but that won’t last forever. If Batista or Big Show doesn’t beat him at Judgment Day, he has no problem doing it himself. Rhodes wants Orton’s permission to make an example out of MVP. They will beat him down and Orton will punt him out of commission. Vickie pipes up and makes a match for tonight as MVP will take on Randy Orton. MVP likes it and Orton glares back at him as we go to break.
– We are back and Cole and King are talking about the Raw landscape changing with the draft and they run through a few of the new faces on the show before we head to the ring.
1) The Brian Kendrick vs. Kofi Kingston
He grabs the mic and tells Lillian that he is The Brian Kendrick and not just Brian Kendrick. I hope he likes a good cup of Kofi, because that is what he is in for in his Raw re-debut. Kofi leapfrogs Kendrick, but Brian stops and smacks him. Kendrick begs off and drop toeholds Kofi into the bottom buckle. He works Kofi over in the corner but Kofi back flips him to the apron. Kendrick fights him off and comes off the top with a missile dropkick for two. Kendrick locks in a seated cobra clutch but Kofi fights up and breaks it. He lands a pair of double thrusts to the throat and follows with a leaping clothesline. Kofi drops the Boom legdrop for two. Kendrick slips out of a slam attempt and takes Kofi down for a near fall. He goes for The Kendrick, but Kofi slips out. Kendrick rolls through a cross body but only gets two. Both men are up and Kofi kicks him down for the win. Kingston d. Kendrick with the Trouble in Paradise; Grade: 1.5
– Back at ringside, Cole pimps last night’s Backlash and we get some clips of the fantastic Cena/Edge match. Backstage, Vickie meets up with Show and thanks him for what he did last night. Show thanks her for being put in the contender’s match. Show goes in for a kiss, but Vickie rebuffs him. Show doesn’t like that and says it will get lonely on Monday nights. Vickie says things will be professional from now on for the sake of Raw. Show understands and walks off as we go to break.
– The Auto Zone Rewind takes us back to last night for the Santina/Phoenix/Khali Kiss Cam hijinks. Back in the arena, we are joined by Miss Wrestlemania herself for our next match.
2) Santina Marella, Kelly, Brie Bella & Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix, Maryse, Rosa Mendes & Jillian Hall
Santina skips to the ring and is followed by Kelly, Brie and Mickie. Their opponents all head out next together, lead by the beautiful Maryse, the Diva champion. Santina has an awesome “I’m with Stupid” cut off t-shirt on. Beth and Santina start things off as Beth attacks with a kick and a chop. Santina screams and tags in Brie. Beth slugs her and slams her down. She mounts Brie and hammers away on her before tagging in Jillian. Jillian misses a legdrop as Brie slides to the floor and goes under the ring. Rosa hops down and lifts up the apron and both Bella twins poke their heads out. Hornswoggle pops his head out as well and the Bellas kiss him. Hornswoggle comes out and chases Rosa around the ring. He heads back under and fires off a fire extinguisher in the faces of Maryse and Beth. Santina takes advantage and rolls up the distracted Jillian for the win. Santina, Kelly, Brie & Mickie d. Beth, Maryse, Rosa & Jillian when Santina pins Jillian with a roll up; Grade: 1
– Santina stands on the apron and dances and Hornswoggle pops out from under the ring and he gets an eye full of Santina’s undercarriage. Hornswoggle faints and the pops up and runs off as we head to break.
– When we return, we visit with Cole and King again as they run down some more of the Raw draftees, including Mr. Kennedy, the Bella Twins and Matt Hardy. And Mr. Hardy himself is making his way out right now for our next bout.
3) Matt Hardy vs. Goldust
Matt slowly walks to the ring, hand wrapped in a cast, as we get stills from last night’s I Quit match. Matt has the mic and says that Jeff Hardy proved he is an insensitive, uncaring, heartless barbarian last night. As a result, he suffered a broken hand but he did not quit. He is not a quitter and has never quit anything in his entire life. After his hand was broken, he had no other option. He is being forced to wrestle tonight but he wants us all to know that he is wrestling under protest. I love that his voice is cracking the whole time. The Golden One makes his way out as Matt frowns in the ring. Matt ducks away from Goldust off the bell. They circle again but Matt ducks into the ropes this time as well. He does it again, dropping to the floor this time. Goldust jaws with the ref, allowing Matt to slide in and deck Goldust with his cast to steal the win. It will be awesome if they let Hardy run with the old Bob Orton/Mike Sharpe/Owen Hart gimmick. Hardy d. Goldust when he hits him with his cast; Grade: 0
– Randy Orton is walking as we take a break.
4) Randy Orton vs. Montel Vontavious Porter in a non title match
We are back from commercial and the WWE Champion is making his way to the ring for some non title, champion vs. champion action. MVP is out next and let’s see if he is ready to step up to the level they seemingly want him at. They lock up off the bell and then break clean in the corner. Orton grabs a side headlock but MVP turns it into a top wristlock. Orton swings free and goes back to the side headlock and then sweeps MVP down and clamps on a front facelock. MVP reverses to a hammerlock but Orton takes him over and gets a near fall. Orton grabs a hammerlock, but MVP takes him over and grabs an armbar. Orton lands a knee and a kick to the chest as an MVP chant fires up. MVP slugs back at Orton and he buries some knees to the midsection. He lands another off a whip and then drops a big knee to the gut for two. Orton regains control with some uppercuts in the corner as Cole reminds us that MVP will defend his belt against Dolph Ziggler on Smackdown in a match made prior to the draft taking effect. Orton misses a charge in the corner and MVP takes him over with an armdrag. Orton sends MVP into the corner and pounds away at him. He shoots MVP across but MVP sends him into the middle buckle with a drop toehold. Orton staggers up and MVP drills him with a huge boot to the face to send Randy to the floor and us to break. When we return, Orton has MVP clamped in a rear chinlock, having taken control during the break with the hanging DDT. MVP fights up and hammers free but Orton drops him with his inverted backbreaker for two. Orton goes back to the chinlock but MVP fights up again and breaks the hold. They slug it out in the center of the ring but MVP eats a back elbow. He comes back and tosses Orton with a belly-to-belly throw. MVP gets nailed as he charges in the corner, but comes back with a facebreaker. MVP his the Ballin’ elbow and pick up a great near fall. MVP misses another boot attempt in the corner and Orton is able to dump him out to the floor. Shane McMahon comes flying in and wears Orton out with a kendo stick, bringing and end to this match just as it was getting hot. That was a fun little old school match but it got cut off just before it really got cooking and the crowd was just really getting into it. Orton d. MVP by disqualification when Shane McMahon interferes; Grade: 2.5
– Shane heads up top and drops a big elbowdrop. Legacy comes charging out, but Shane bolts through the crowd to escape. Legacy stands in the ring and wants Shane to come back, but he keeps on trucking as we go to break.
– We are back and looking at the Backlash page on WWE.com. The King thanks the Veer Union for the Backlash theme song as well. We then get a recap of Shane’s hit and run assault on Orton just a few minutes ago. We take a gander at the exterior of the Arena at Harbor Yard before checking out more stills of last night’s Edge/Cena match. Cole tells us that we don’t know how long Cena will be out of action after last night’s assault. King runs down some more of Raw’s draft picks as we check out Big Show, Maryse, Chavo Guerrero and the Miz. Speaking of whom, he is making his way to the ring to chat for a bit. We are looking at the most valuable draft pick in WWE, The Miz. He is a TV icon. He was on MTV for years and was the face of that network. Last year, he was on ECW, Smackdown and Raw, winning both sets of tag titles. If you Google his name, he will have more hits than all of us. Lauren Conrad, Paris Hilton, Hilary and Hailey Duff all have one thing in common: their numbers are in his phone and they have no idea who the fans are. He is here to make an impact and to battle the biggest star on the show. He is here to challenge John Cena and he will take him down on his very first night. He calls for a referee and says that John Cena isn’t the type of person to make excuses, despite being in a last man standing match last night. The spotlight is on Cena and Miz wants him to step up to the plate and come on out. Miz wants to make a name for himself on Raw. Cena’s music hits but he doesn’t emerge. Miz thinks Cena is scared and is hiding. He wants to know what he has to do to get Cena out there, so he decides to belittle him a bit. Miz mocks the “You Can’t See Me’ phrase, saying it is true. The crowd is calling for Cena but Miz says he can’t see Cena because his movies aren’t in theatres long enough. He is sick and tired of seeing the same superstars in main events every week and year. He is on Raw to step up and grab the brass ring. Tonight, he challenged John Cena, but Cena declined and that makes Miz the winner by forfeit. That means the score is Miz: 1 and Cena: 0. Miz makes Lillian announce him as the winner by forfeit but she won’t do it, so he does it himself. Miz celebrates as we head to commercial. That was some great heel douche work by the Miz.
– We return from break and check out a video package of the recent European tour.
5) Carlito & Primo Colon vs. Chavo Guerrero & Jamie Noble in a non title match
The Unified tag champs head to the ring for some non title action against the WCW 2000 Dream Team. Chavo grabs a waistlock and turns it into an armbar to start. Carlito runs out and grabs his own wristlock but Chavo mares him over. He charges and Carlito sends him over with a monkey flip as the crowd has flattened big time. Primo tags in and drops a headbutt on Chavo, who bails to the floor. Noble comes in, but Primo sends him flying to the floor as well. Chavo is able to sneak in and send Primo to the floor, where Noble works him over. Chavo tags in Noble and he snaps Primo down with a neckbreaker for two. Noble grabs a chinlock but Primo elbows out. Noble goes for a back suplex, but Primo shifts his weight and falls on top for two. Noble tags in Chavo who drops on Primo and he picks up two. Primo eats a back elbow on a charge but Primo catches him with a dropkick to the gut as Chavo comes off the top. Primo tags in Carlito and Chavo tags Noble. Carlito hammers away at Noble and sends him over with a back drop. He plants him with a powerbomb and gets two. Carlito ends up on the apron and he is able to snap Noble’s neck across the top rope. He comes in with a springboard senton for two. Primo dives out onto Chavo on the floor as Carlito drops Noble with the backstabber for the win. The Colons are pretty fun to watch as they have some energetic offense. Colons d. Noble & Guerrero when Carlito pins Noble with the Backstabber; Grade: 1.5
– Backstage, Batista is walking but he is interrupted by Josh Matthews. He asks Batista if he feels responsible for last night. Batista says he feels for Triple H and knows he will be back soon. He will beat Big Show tonight and then hurt Randy Orton at Judgment Day and take his belt away too. He storms off as we go to break.
– When we return, Vickie is back out on the stage with an announcement. But first, she wants to remind us of recent current events, so we check out a video package of Orton assaulting all of the McMahons over the past few months. Her announcement is that Randy Orton will take on Shane McMahon next week on Raw. And with that, it is main event time here tonight.
6) Big Show vs. Batista to earn a WWE Championship match at Judgment Day
Show makes his way out to the ring as he tries to earn a crack at the gold in three weeks time. We take a quick break and when we return the Animal heads to the ring to a big pop. The bell sounds and we are underway with a lockup and clean break. Batista grabs a waistlock but Show elbows free. Show follows with a headbutt, but Batista fires back at him. Show grabs him by the throat, but Batista slips free. Show escapes a Batistabomb attempt and we go to our final break. When we return, Show is working Batista over in the corner, landing some chops. He follows with some body shots and a huge right hand to the gut. Batista comes back with a boot and he rams Show into the corner. Show shrugs it off and clubs Batista down and then stands on him. Show drags Batista to the post and pulls his side against it from the floor. Batista fires back again but Show takes him down with some more body shots and a sledge to the back. Show pulls Batista up and then he slams him back down. Show drops an elbow and then clamps in a chinlock. Show lands another blow to the back and then locks in a bear hug. Batista works free again drills Show with a boot as he charges in. Batista hits two clotheslines to stagger Show and then drops him with a spinebuster. Show gets up and catches a charging Batista by the throat. Show drops him with the chokeslam but Batista rolls to the floor. The crowd explodes as John Cena slowly staggers out with a referee assisting him out. Show heads up the ramp but realizes he is being counted out and sprints back to the ring. However, it is too late and Batista wins the match and title shot. Batista d. Show by count out; Grade: 1.5
– Show stares at Cena but Batista takes him out with a spear. Cena smirks as he looks on at Show glaring at him. Show screams at Cena as we fade out.
Final Grade: B-
Runner Up: The Miz
Non MVP: The Brian Kendrick
Runner Up: Goldust
Posted on April 28, 2009, in Justin Rozzero, WWE and tagged Batista, Bella Twins, Beth Phoenix, Big Show, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Chavo Guerrero, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Hornswoggle, Jamie Noble, Jillian Hall, John Cena, Kelly Kelly, Kofi Kingston, Maryse, Matt Hardy, Mickie James, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Primo Colon, Randy Orton, Raw, Rosa Mendez, Santino Marella, Shane McMahon, Ted DiBiase Jr., The Legacy, The Miz, Vickie Guerrero. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.