Bigelow’s Raw Report 5/11/09
Monday Night Raw 5/11/09
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
– We fire up the opening animation right out of the gate and then head inside the Nationwide Arena where Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Raw as we are just six nights away from Judgment Day! Lillian Garcia wastes no time in bringing out our WWE Champion Randy Orton. Orton is flanked by Rhodes and DiBiase as he saunters to the ring. The McMahons pride themselves on listening to the audience but what they need to do is stop listening and start acting more like the fans. They deal with adversity every day of their lives and they don’t fight back, they just sit there and take it. Life beats the fans down and they stay beaten down because they are all cowards. They pay to live their life through people like Orton. They pay to watch him do the things that they do, like last week when he put an end to the McMahon Era. And we get clips of the assault on Shane from last week’s show. The fans need to realize that the company revolves around him. The rest of WWE, especially Batista, need to realize this as well. Earlier today, Vickie announced a no physical contact ruling between he and Batista that ends on Sunday. Just because they can’t touch, that doesn’t mean they can’t talk. So, Batista should come out and hear what he has to say. And the music fires up immediately and the Animal quickly makes his way to the ring. Orton wants to tell Batista something he and the fans know deep down inside: Batista will not win the Championship on Sunday or ever. Randy wants to give Batista an opportunity and he wants Batista to realize that no other superstar has been offered this chance if he wasn’t a generational star. He wants to offer Batista a slot in Legacy. DiBiase gets the mic and he says he understands Batista is still mad about getting kicked in the head. Ted says that getting kicked in the skull by Orton was the best thing to happen to him. He was going nowhere and that was his wakeup call. If Batista says yes, he can join the most elite group in wrestling too. Orton talks about their Evolution days and how unstoppable they were. The only person holding them back as Triple H but now he has been taken out. If Batista joins Legacy, they will be bigger than the Horsemen, DX and Evolution. Batista won’t be Champion, but he will be on the winning team, just like Arn Anderson. Batista can be Orton’s enforcer and right hand man. Batista says it is a wonderful opportunity and that everything Orton said makes sense. There is one problem though…he doesn’t like Orton. He despises and loathes him. He has never been and he will never be Orton’s backup. Batista isn’t here to help Orton, he is here to hurt him and there is nothing that Orton can do to stop him. Orton tells him he has made the biggest mistake of his life and Batista is lucky that Vickie made the no physical contact rule or he would drop him right now. Batista chuckles over that one and says he is tired of listening to Orton and Vickie and he is tired of waiting. So, he doesn’t think there is a chance in hell of Vickie calling off the Judgment Day main event and that means there is nothing keeping him from destroying Orton tonight. Batista drops the mic and they square off but Vickie interrupts us and is quickly booed out of the building. Vickie doesn’t like being called predictable so she is waving the no contact rule. She doesn’t care if they tear each other up or what condition they are in on Sunday, but the match will go down at Judgment Day. In the meantime, things are going to get interesting as Batista will take on DiBiase & Rhodes tonight. If Legacy wins, there will be a three on one handicap match later tonight. If Batista wins, we get Judgment Day early and Batista gets a shot at Orton tonight. She tells Randy to leave because the handicap match is next. Orton leaves as we go to break. The crowd was really into that and it was a really good confrontation until the predictable ending.
1) Batista vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
When we return, the match is on and Batista is working over DiBiase in the corner. He shoots Ted across hard and he ricochets back out. Batista goes to pick him up, but Ted catches him with a jawbreaker and tags out. Cody comes in and gets taken over with a hiptoss. Batista takes him over with a delayed vertical suplex for two. DiBiase runs some interference and that allows Cody to chop block Batista to the mat. He works Batista over and tags in Ted. He dissects the leg some more and hooks a leglace. Ted tags Cody back in and they give Batista the old wishbone as the crowd tries to rally the Animal. Cody keeps working the leg and makes another quick tag. Ted spikes his leg on the apron and then slides back in for a near fall. Batista kicks Ted off and into Cody, but he recovers and tags out. Cody kicks at the leg as Batista tries to fire back. He puts Cody down with a pair of clotheslines and then follows with a third in the corner. He sends Cody over with a back drop and then boots Ted to the floor. Cody comes from behind, but Batista reverses a whip and kicks Cody to the floor. Cody grabs a chair and slides it in the ring, but Batista grabs it and starts swinging. Rhodes avoids the assault but the referee sees Batista with the chair and calls for the bell. DiBiase and Rhodes laugh as they walk off. Rhodes & DiBiase d. Batista by disqualification; Grade: 1.5
– Batista paces in the ring as he will now have to face all of Legacy later tonight. Rhodes and DiBiase taunt him from the ramp as we go to break.
– Patrick Ewing needs another Snickers like the Knicks need Isaiah Thomas back in the fold.
– The Quiznos Toasty Torpedo Takedown of the Week takes us back to last week when Mickie James upset Maryse in a non title match.
– We are back and Maryse has the mic and is speaking to us in French and she had me at…whatever she said. If she wasn’t Maryse…she would want to be. And I want to add that she has an awesome cape.
2) Maryse & Jillian vs. Mickie James & Kelly
Mickie runs out to the ring to try to capitalize on her momentum from last week. Kelly is out next and we are set for some Diva tag action. Jillian and Kelly start things off and Kelly takes control with a wristlock. Kelly back flips away from Jillian and takes her down with a kick. She takes Jillian over with a flying headscissors and then works Jillian over in the corner. Maryse taunts her and causes a distraction that allows Jillian to take her out from behind with a clothesline. Jillian tags in Maryse who grabs a rear chinlock. She paintbrushes Kelly and mocks her as only the champion can. Kelly fights to her feet and elbows free but Maryse snaps her back to the mat by her hair. She dances over and knocks Mickie off the apron. Kelly kicks free and makes the tag to Mickie. She sends Maryse flying with a headscissors takeover and then comes off the top with a Thesz press for two before Jillian broke up the count. Jillian goes flying to the floor and Kelly dives off the apron with a clothesline. Maryse has regained control in the ring but Mickie hooks the ropes on a DDT attempt and Maryse falls to the mat. Mickie hits a DDT of her own and beats Maryse again. Mickie & Kelly d. Maryse & Jillian when Mickie beats Maryse with a DDT; Grade: 1
– Josh Matthews is backstage with Randy Orton and he wants some thoughts on the handicap match. He says things don’t have to be this way…but before we hear more, Ted comes in and tells him that Cody is gone. They back away from Matthews and chat quietly before taking off as we go to break.
– We are back and visiting with King and Cole and they are talking about John Cena’s condition. We get clips of Big Show’s assaults on Cena from Backlash and last week’s show. Backstage, Chavo is complimenting Vickie about how she handled herself earlier tonight. He also knows that Cena is not cleared to compete until Sunday but he was speaking with Show and they think Cena should be forced to compete tonight. It can be an exhibition match because Cena should have to prove he isn’t just milking his injuries. He will compete until Vickie is satisfied he is ready to wrestle Sunday. Tonight, Cena will compete in an exhibition match with the Miz. Chavo wishes her a happy Mother’s Day and walks off. We head back to the ring, where Cole and King are inside it and talking to the fans about Judgment Day. Elsewhere, Orton and DiBiase are searching for Cody. Randy finally finds him chatting up a young lady. Now they go looking for Ted but find him laid out and surrounded by referees and some other passers by. Orton goes into a trance as the trainers tend to Ted and we go to break.
– Back from break, we get a Mr. Kennedy video package, touting his impending return to Raw.
3) Carlito vs. The Brian Kendrick
Carlito heads to the ring and leaves Primo behind as he will take on The Brian Kendrick for the second week in a row. Kendrick dances down the aisle and hops in the ring. Kendrick shoves Carlito off the bell but Carlito nails him with a dropkick. Kendrick back off and then attacks and stomps away at Carlito. He lands a big charging forearm in the corner and then heads to the middle rope. Carlito catches him with a boot as he comes off and follows with a clothesline. He drops a leg and gets a near fall. Carlito tries a springboard but Kendrick spikes him down by his hair. Kendrick garbs him and whips him into the post shoulder first and then rolls Carlito up for the upset win. Kendrick d. Carlito with a roll up; Grade: .5
– Kendrick grabs the mic and says that win was step one. Step two will be finding the partner to help him become one half of the tag team champions. Carlito checks on his arm as Kendrick taunts him from the ramp and we head to break.
– We are back and thanking Buckcherry for “Rescue Me”, the Judgment Day theme song. Before our next match gets under way, we are being joined by the Big Show. He walks over the announce table and stands in front of it, arms crossed.
4) John Cena vs. Miz in an exhibition match
Lillian announces that this match will continue until stopped by Vickie. John Cena is out first and he is walking a lot better this week than he was the past two. The crowd is digging him tonight and he slides in the ring. Miz heads out and has a mic with him. He says that Cena’s recent plights are nothing like what Miz will do to him tonight. Miz wants Cena to look at him, but Cena is locked on Show at ringside. He keeps taunting Cena and lands a great line in “this is only an exhibition, not 12 Rounds, so people will actually see this”. That gets Cena’s attention and Miz keeps the assault on by crapping on Cena’s rap album. He will go 3-0 tonight because he is the Miz and he is awesome. I agree. Miz gets inside and Cena takes him down with a waistlock. He turns it into a front facelock and then releases. Cena grabs a side headlock and takes Miz down, looking at Show the whole time. Miz catches him with a shot to the ribs and then takes Cena over with a pair of suplexes. Miz stomps away at Cena in the corner and then follows with the charging corner clothesline. Miz works over Cena’s back with some knees and then whips him hard into the corner. He misses another clothesline attempt and Cena hits of his own. Cena drops him with the spinning slam and drops the five knuckle shuffle. Vickie appears on the Tron and says she has seen enough and it stopping the exhibition. She says it is obvious Cena has no chance against the Big Show. Cena looks perplexed and that allows Miz to drill him from behind and spike him with a stiff DDT. Miz proclaims that he is 3-0 before heading off. Cena & Miz wrestle to a no contest; Grade: 1.5
– Show looks on at Cena as we cut backstage. Orton and Cody are talking strategy and Randy tells Cody that he needs to prove himself. He needs to find Batista and take him out. Cody nods in agreement and heads off and we go to break.
– We are back and perusing the outside of the Nationwide Arena. Backstage, Vickie and Chavo are patting themselves on the back over the exhibition match. Santina joins us and Vickie wants to know if Santina called her swine last week. Santina says that was her cousin because she was not here last week. Chavo has had enough and grabs for the goodies, but Santina swats him away. Vickie calls in Rosa and Beth and she asks Rosa to give Santina a good luck kiss for her match. She kisses Santina on the check and Santina wants more and goes for it. Chavo takes that as proof that Santina is Santino based on his reputation with the ladies. Santina admits one thing…that she is a lesbian and that she likes the women. But she doesn’t enjoy the company of pigs. She oinks and runs off as Vickie is consoled by Chavo. Elsewhere, Cody is stalking around with a metal pipe, looking for Batista. He pulls open a door from which Hornswoggle emerges, screams and runs off. That allows Batista to grab Cody from behind and slam him into a door. He opens it, tosses Cody inside and takes off as we go to break.
– When we return, Cole and King talk about Batista eliminating Legacy one by one. It looks our main event will no longer be a handicap match.
5) Beth Phoenix vs. Santina Marella
Beth and Rosa head to the ring for our next match. Santina is out next and her music now has more of an Italian flavor. The crowd is behind Santina here as they lock up. Beth beats on Santina in the corner and works the midsection with some shoulders. Beth clotheslines Santina to the floor and follows her right out. She whips Santina into the apron and then press slams Santina into the ring. She stomps away and then locks Santina in an abdominal stretch. Santina hip tosses Beth out but Beth garbs a full nelson. Santina slowly powers out of the hold but Beth powers back in. Santina breaks the hold with her butt, but Beth keeps hammering away on her. Beth gets up and then goes to pick Santina up, but Santina rolls her up for the win. Santina d. Beth with a roll up; Grade: .5
– Santina dances with Jack Doane but he quickly bails. Beth and Rosa regroup on the floor as Santina dances in the ring and we dance off to break.
– We are back and Josh Matthews has caught up with John Cena backstage. He asks Cena how he will compete on Sunday. Cena says he is hurting and going through hard times. Everyone in the nation is going through hard times, but he stood out in the arena tonight and it was filled. Despite everything, people have always found a way to adapt and overcome. Well, that means he has to ante up and do what he does best: adapt and overcome. How is he going to go to Judgment Day to compete against Big Show. Well, he isn’t going to compete, he is going to win. Cena takes off and we head back inside the arena. Cena was channeling Dusty there big time. Lillian brings out MVP and we get some clips from William Regal costing MVP a match last week. The VIP Lounge is set up in the ring as MVP welcomes us to the first one on Raw. In the VIP Lounge it is big things popping and little things stopping. Speaking of little things, William Regal cost him a match last week. Even though he is living large right now, he is hood at heart. He tells Regal to get his swagger on and a dress as well because it is ladies’ night in the lounge. Regal comes out and he thinks it is revolting that MVP would come onto Raw and act likes he owns it. A year ago he was GM and King of Raw but he unjustly removed from that position. He valiantly returned, paid his dues and waited for his turn once again. But then MVP and the other draft picks came over, ignored Regal’s tenure and leap above him in the pecking order. MVP says that Regal is miserable and while he and the fans are straight up Ballin, Regal is straight up boring. Regal says MVP perfectly represents the USA in that he is arrogant, misguided and despised by everyone else in the world. Regal starts to disrobe but we are interrupted by Matt Hardy. Since everyone is airing grievances, he would like to voice his. He has been forced to compete with a broken hand and all of his requests have been completely ignored. What would be fair is to erase his loss to Kofi Kingston last week. Regal needs to wait his turn because nobody has defeated MVP more than he has. As soon as his hand heals, he should be the first person to get a shot at the US title. Kofi now charges the ring and takes out Matt from behind. He knocks him to the floor and beats on him. Chavo comes out and says that Vickie has ordered the ring be cleared for a tag match between these four men right now. MVP tosses Regal to the floor and takes a seat on his couch as we go to break.
6) MVP & Kofi Kingston vs. Matt Hardy & William Regal
When we return, MVP is working over Regal in the ring. He tags in Kofi who comes flying off the top on to Regal for a near fall. He shoves Matt to the floor and then takes Regal down. Kofi drops the Boom legdrop and gets two. Matt comes in, but MVP knocks him down. Kofi leaps up onto Regal in the corner, but Matt slugs Kofi down with his cast. Kofi kicks out of a roll up. Regal tags in Matt who lands some knees. He slams Kofi and gets a near fall, clutching his hand the whole time. Matt locks in an abdominal stretch as the crowd rallies Kofi. Kofi wriggles free but Matt kicks him down and tags in Regal. Regal kicks Kofi around and keeps him grounded. Kofi fires back at Regal, but Regal knees him and takes him over with a belly-to-belly throw for two. He tags in Matt, who drops an elbow and goes back to the abdominal stretch. Kofi hiptosses Matt but Matt hits him in the back with the cast and tags out. Regal comes in and lands a sharp back elbow to the gut. He locks Kofi in a seated abdominal stretch and hammers at the midsection as well. Kofi tries a sunset flip but Regal rolls through. Kofi sends him over with a headscissors and lunges to tag MVP. MVP comes in and hammers away at Regal, slugging him down. He hits a facebreaker and drops the Ballin elbow for two. Matt breaks it up but Kofi comes in and kicks Matt’s cast. Regal tosses Kofi to the floor but MVP takes Regal down and hammers away. Matt takes off as MVP drills Regal with the Drive By and the Playmaker for the win. That was a good match as the US Title Division is looking up on Raw. MVP & Kingston d. Regal & Hardy when MVP pins Regal with the Playmaker; Grade: 2
– Backstage, Randy Orton is walking by himself as we go to break.
The Underworld: Rise of the Lycans Slam of the Week looks at the assault of Shane McMahon from last week.
7) Batista vs. Randy Orton in a non title match
We are back in Columbus and it is main event time. Randy Orton is on his way to the ring and he is all by himself. Orton has a mic and says there is no reason to fight just six days before Judgment Day, especially since Batista can’t even win the title. He is going to leave the ring…but before he can, Batista makes his way out. The bell sounds and Orton goes for the RKO right away. Batista shoves him off and puts him down with a clothesline. Orton bails and tries to escape, but Batista tosses him back inside. Batista plants him with two spinebusters and then heads outside and grabs a chair. He slides in starts working Orton over with it, drawing the DQ. Orton d. Batista by disqualification; Grade: 0
– Batista slams the chair on Orton’s ankle and then goes outside and grabs the steps. He pushes them inside and then bashes Orton’s ankle with the chair again. He picks up the steps but Rhodes and DiBiase come out to help. DiBiase pulls Orton outside as Cody attacks Batista. Batista plants Cody with the Batistabomb. Orton and Ted come in, but they both eat clotheslines. DiBiase saves Orton from a Batistabomb but eats a mega spear for his trouble. Batista grabs the steps and throws them at Orton, who was sitting in the aisle. Batista has snapped and is fired up, as is the crowd. Orton is lying in the aisle and grabbing his ankle as Batista stalks in the ring as we check out the replay and then fade out. See you Sunday at Judgment Day!
Final Grade: C
Runner Up: Miz
Non MVP: Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
Runner Up: Beth Phoenix
Posted on May 12, 2009, in Justin Rozzero, WWE and tagged Batista, Beth Phoenix, Big Show, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Chavo Guerrero, Cody Rhodes, Hornswoggle, Jillian Hall, John Cena, Kelly Kelly, Kofi Kingston, Maryse, Matt Hardy, Mickie James, MVP, Primo Colon, Randy Orton, Raw, Rosa Mendez, Santino Marella, Ted DiBiase Jr., The Legacy, The Miz, Vickie Guerrero, William Regal. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.