WWF Royal Rumble
January 24, 1993
Sacramento, CA
ARCO Arena

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Bret Hart (10/12/1992)
Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels (10/27/1992)
World Tag Team Champions: Money Inc. (10/13/1992)

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan. This would be the last PPV they would ever call together.

• The Steiner Brothers vs. The Beverly Brothers
  

Rick and Scott had only been on WWF TV for a little over a month prior to this show. After watching three years of them in WCW, it’s odd seeing them in a WWF ring. Beau and Scott start the match. Scott throws him around the ring and the whole time, Beau complains about hair-pulling and trunk-pulling. Blake tags in and gets a piece of Rick. He catches Blake off a leapfrog for a powerslam. Scott tags back in and gives Blake a release belly-to-belly suplex. Scott tries for the double-underhook slam since he can’t do the tiger bomb anymore, but Beau runs in to break that up to turn the tide. Scott becomes face-in-peril as the Beverly brothers work the back. The Beverly brothers do the usual heel cheat tactics. Scott finally gets that double underhook slam and makes the HOT TAG TO RICK! Backdrop! Release German suplex! Rick looked to finish off Blake with the BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPERPLEX, but Beau stops that immediately. Rick gets dumped, but tags in Scott on the way out. The Beverlys look to finish him off with a doomsday device, but Scott ducks the clothesline and gets a victory roll on Blake for 1-2-NO! Rick pulls Beau out while Scott finishes Blake with the FRANKENSTEINER! (10:45) Decent enough match with a great finish to introduce the Steiners on PPV. **¼

• WWF Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty
  

This is the big Rockers blowoff for Shawn turning on Marty a year before by tossing him THROUGH a glass window! Marty had returned on the Halloween edition of Superstars by interrupting Shawn while he was admiring himself in his heart-shaped mirror. As Marty went to smash the mirror over Shawn’s head, Shawn pulled his main squeeze Sensational Sherri in the way to take the blow. (pun not intended) AND BOY IS SHE PISSED! So tonight, she plays Elizabeth from four years ago by standing in neither man’s corner. Shawn asks her to come into the ring, but Sherri just stands there with a cold look on her face. Jannetty controls to start, punishing Shawn with a suicide dive. Marty comes off the top to the floor with a fist drop, but Shawn nails him on the way down and then sends him shoulder-first into the post. Shawn works the shoulder for several minutes, and when Marty looks to mount a comeback, Shawn shuts him down with an armbreaker. Shawn returns to the shoulder and then heads up top, but Marty catches him on the way down with a boot. Shawn misses a corner charge and runs his shoulder into the post. Looks like karma to me. Marty gets yanked out to the floor. While Shawn tries to suplex him back in, Marty brings Shawn out to the floor with a suplex instead. After all that, then Sherri walks over and SLAPS Shawn in the face! Shawn and Marty trade punches on the apron, but as Marty ducks a swing, he gives Shawn a bridging back suplex into the ring for 1-2-NO! Marty delivers a powerslam and heads up top. Heenan says Marty is too far away from Shawn. Shawn rolls away, but lucky for Marty he lands on his feet. Shawn turns around into a DDT for 1-2-NO! Shawn flips out of the corner and attempts a Superkick, but Marty ducks and hits one of his own for 1-2-NO! A rollup sequence leads to Shawn being catapulted into the ringpost for 1-2-NO! Shawn rears back to punch Marty, but nails the ref. Oops. Marty grabs Shawn in a full nelson as Sherri comes into the ring to hit Shawn with her high heel shoe, but Shawn ducks and Marty gets nailed. Shawn backs Sherri into a corner while putting the bad mouth to her and then turns around to nail Marty with a Superkick for 1-2-3. (14:20) This was built quite nicely from beginning to end. Jannetty was clearly over by the crowd’s reactions – especially everything from when Sherri slapped Shawn up to the finish. In the pre-match pull-apart brawl in the back, you got the feeling that this was definitely nowhere near being over, so it kept Marty strong even though he lost the match. Sadly, Jannetty would be fired the next day after being found passed out. He would return four months later to pick up where he left off. ***½

• Big Bossman vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
  

This was the phasing out period for Bossman. Bigelow controls pretty much the whole match. While Bossman flies over the top rope, he hits his back on the edge of the ring to call for some back work from Bigelow. He grabs a bearhug from behind and grinds his big huge head into the small of Bossman’s back. After a few minutes too long of that, Bossman comes back with the Bossman Straddle, but Bigelow’s just playing ‘possum with him and finishes him off with the FLYING HEADBUTT. (10:09) That’s pretty much it for Bossman in the WWF for the next six years. *

• WWF World Champion Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon
  

On WWF Mania prior to the Rumble, Razor clotheslined Bret’s brother Owen while he was being interviewed by Todd Pettingell just to be a jerk and piss off Bret. Stu and Helen Hart are in attendance at ringside tonight, which gives Heenan some easy material. After some back and forth blows, Razor runs knee-first into the corner as Bret works the knee. He grabs a figure-four, but Ramon grabs the ropes. Hart posts the knee, but then Razor goes low and whips Bret abdomen-first into the ringpost. OUCH! Backbreaker abound, followed by Ramon ramming Bret into the post. Ramon delivers a Fallaway Slam as Helen cringes while she watches. Razor whips Bret into the corner for the chest-first bump and then applies an ab stretch. Bret reverses, but Razor hiptosses out. Bret comes back with a crossbody and a sunset flip gets two. Ramon goes back to work on Hart’s mid-section by applying bearhugs and sitting on his back with a reverse chinlock. Then out of nowhere, Bret backdrops Razor out and follows up with a suicide dive! That makes two for the night. Back in, Bret fires away and atomic drops/clotheslines Razor for 1-2-NO! Bulldog gets two. Russian legsweep gets two. Hart wants the SHARPSHOOTER, but Ramon trips Hebner up into Bret to break up the attempt. Ramon goes low and wants a Back Superplex, but Bret elbows him away and flips back for a back suplex of his own. Bret wants the second-rope vertical elbow drop, but Razor gets his boot up to block. THAT’S IT! It’s time for the RAZOR’S EDGE! Razor lifts him up on his shoulders, but Bret slips away and backslides Razor for 1-2-NO! They do a test of strength, which Bret somehow maneuvers into a pin for 1-2-NO! With both guys winded, Bret slides his leg in between Razor’s legs (I know, it sounds really gay) and applies the SHARPSHOOTER when Razor least expects it for the submission. (17:59) One of Razor’s better matches that didn’t involve Shawn Michaels. They told a good story and Razor really held his own in there. ***¼

We now get to see the unveiling of The Narcissist Lex Luger, who Bobby Heenan is supposedly responsible for bringing into the WWF. You see, he’s supposed to be more perfect than Mr. Perfect, and this is Heenan’s way of getting revenge. Heenan goes WAYYYYY overboard trying to get Luger over as this supreme, flawless human being. Almost to the point of orgasm. Pull it back a bit, Bobby. Anyways, Luger poses a bunch, extends a challenge to Mr. Perfect, and then poses a little more. I like this feud. A tad gay, but I can deal with it because it makes sense.

Next up, we have Caesar and Cleopatra out to invite us to Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas for WrestleMania 9, as people start walking up the steps to possibly urinate, get a hotdog, or buy WWF merchandise. This eats up a few minutes of time, which sucks, because we don’t get any pre-Rumble match promos from anybody. Should tell you how “star-studded” this Rumble’s going to be. DARN YOU CAESAR!

• The Rumble
  

Winner gets a title shot at WrestleMania 9, which becomes a tradition to this day. Ric Flair draws #1, Bob Backlund draws #2. Monsoon makes a big deal out of Backlund making his return to wrestling at age 42, while Ric Flair is actually 18 months older than Bob. And all of a sudden, it’s 1981 all over again. Flair chops away, but Backlund hits the Running Atomic Drop. Flair sells it properly with a holler and a flop. Papa Shango is #3. He pulls Backlund off of Flair, but then Flair dumps him out. WOO! Flair and Backlund go back to having their little match, as Ted DiBiase runs down at #4. Man, Ted’s looking a little pudgy here. Not quite JBL pudgy, but he’s getting there. Speaking of pudgy, DiBiase and Flair work as a team until Brian Knobbs enters in at #5. He gets a little nasty with the heels and nearly eliminates Flair. They pair off as Backlund goes after Flair while Knobbs and DiBiase battle in the corner, because they’re feuding and such. Virgil is our #6 guy. Just take a wild guess who he goes after first. Yes, of course, Ted DiBiase. Brian Knobbs joins in the fun until he misses a charge and flies out to the floor. Jerry Lawler makes his WWF PPV debut as our #7 entrant. He pounds away on Flair while Backlund and Virgil do a number on DiBiase. Max Moon: The Paul Diamond Edition draws #8. Wow, Moon holds his own with Ric FN Flair, which is pretty cool. He nearly gets eliminated, but he puts a stop to that. Just as I say that, Moon charges at Lawler and gets dumped out. #9 is Genichiro Tenryu, and the crowd is like “who are you?”. This was during Vince’s brief partnership with WAR in case you’re wondering. He trades chops with DiBiase for a bit while Virgil battles Flair and Backlund mixes it up with Lawler. Uh oh, Mr. Perfect is our #10 guy! He storms the ring and goes right for Flair! Tons of chops follow. Flair goes to the eyes and heads up top, but Perfect slams him down and snaps the neck.

Skinner enters in at #11. He helps out Flair with Perfect. Once Skinner thinks Flair has it under control, he leaves and Perfect clotheslines Flair out to send him to the showers, building to the “Loser Leaves the WWF” blowoff match the next night on Raw quite awesomely. Heenan ~ “That’s not fair to Flair!” Koko B. Ware runs down at #12. Whoa, there’s too much of him going on at once. Meanwhile, Skinner skins-the-cat to avoid elimination (funny!) and then turns around into a dropkick from Perfect to eliminate him. Afa brings #13 entrant Samu to the ring by his hair because he’s such a savage. Nothing really happens of note once he gets in the ring. DiBiase and Tenryu are still going at it. The Bezerker is our #14 guy. Once Bezerker is in, Lawler gets tossed out to the floor by Perfect. He is an elimination machine! Then DiBiase runs over and tries to throw Perfect over the top rope, and oh my gosh Perfect is fighting him off like crazy. That has to be the best thing I’ve seen in a Rumble match so far. Lawler is trying to pull Perfect out from the floor while Koko and DiBiase use their feet to get Perfect off the apron. They finally get Perfect to let go of the ropes to eliminate him. Aww. Oh snap, The Undertaker is #15. Samu grabs Taker as Bezerker and Backlund go to the floor to brawl. Backlund takes a chair to the gut and back. Not only that, but then Bezerker lifts up the floor mat and slams Backlund on the concrete to give him a rest. Meanwhile, Taker goozles Samu and shoves him out to the floor. Tenryu goes after Taker, and he gets thrown out. Terry Taylor runs down at #16. Koko and Taylor start grabbing on each other, so DiBiase walks by and shoves them both out. After that goes down, DiBiase turns around into a Chokeslam from Taker. See ya later, Ted. Don’t forget, Backlund is still down and out on the floor. Bezerker goes berserk on Taker in the corner, but he gets sent out as well. Meanwhile, Harvey Wippleman walks down with his latest acquisition Slim Goodbody from PBS! Boy, he sure did get hairy and tall! Oh wait, no it’s just Giant Gonzales. He’s in the ring and they do a little stand-off to show that Gonzales is TALLER than Taker. Gonzales pounds Taker out of the ring to eliminate him. Taker gets whipped knees first into the steel steps. After that, Gonzales brings Taker back in the ring for a chokeslam. Once security gets rid of Gonzales and Wippleman, Backlund rolls back in the ring as #17 Damian Demento and #18 Irwin R. Schyster head down to the ring. Four minutes had passed while all that was going on, which is why both guys came out at the same time. The heels dominate Backlund until Tatanka runs down at #19 for the save. Paul Bearer finally comes down and wakes up Taker by lifting up the urn. I mean, dang Paul, the buffet will still be there will you get back. Jerry Sags is our #20 entrant. Demento gets double-teamed by Backlund and Tatanka while Sags battles the IRS.

Typhoon waddles down at #21. He splashes Demento in the corner for a good long while. Now Afa drags Fatu to the ring, because he drew #22. Lots of clubbering going on in there. Earthquake is #23. He goes after his own eating buddy Typhoon! They start splashing one another for a while. Of course, Typhoon tries to splash once too often and trips himself up and falls out to the floor! To be fair, Earthquake did assist him in the tripping. The clubbering continues as Carlos Colon enters in at #24. That’s Carlito’s daddy! Why did Monsoon just call Carlos Colon a youngster? He’s nearing 45 at this point! Meanwhile, Tatanka nearly eliminates Demento. Since the Native American, the Caribbean gets rid of Demento himself. #25 is “El Matador” Tito Santana. Shortly after he hops in the ring, Fatu goes flying out while he charges at Backlund, who looks EXHAUSTED. Rick Martel is our #26 guy. He goes right after Santana. Man, are they STILL feuding over Strike Force? IRS charges at Quake up against the ropes, and misses to eliminate himself. Yokozuna is #27. He immediately throws out Tatanka. Carlos Colon gets sent back to Puerto Rico. Quake and Yoko have a stand-off. This shouldn’t surprise anybody – John Tenta was once a sumo wrestler. Owen Hart runs down at #28, but it doesn’t matter much because Yoko and Quake are in there. Quake splashes Yoko, but then Yoko flips Quake over the top to the floor. Now Yoko has no competition. #29 is Repo Man. All of a sudden, everybody has the same idea to try and get rid of Yokozuna, but he fights them off one person at a time. Randy Savage is our last guy to enter the ring. He goes nuts on Repo Man as Yokozuna sends Tito to the floor. Owen dropkicks Sags out by accident after Martel moved out of the way. Martel thinks he’s eliminated Owen, but he skins-the-cat back in the ring. Bob Backlund is still in the ring, by the way. Yoko hiptosses Owen to the floor and Savage hiptosses Repo out on the other side of the ring. That leaves us with…

Final Four: Bob Backlund, Rick Martel, Yokozuna and Randy Savage. Backlund looks to be dead weight at this point. He and Martel fight over who’s going out to the floor. After they battle over a suplex, Backlund places Martel on the top rope and punches him off to the floor below. While Yoko stomps away on Savage, Backlund turns his attention onto him. Backlund dropkicks Yoko once, two times, but then charges and gets dumped out over the top rope to the floor. That’s 61:10 spent in the Rumble! A new record that would stand until Chris Benoit lasted 61:30 in 2004! Now Yoko wonders what he was doing before he was rudely interrupted. Oh yeah! He was dismantling Randy Savage. After lots of choking in the ropes, Savage kicks back and mounts a ton of offense on Yoko. He hits a pair of flying double ax-handles, but then he runs into a superkick. Yoko kills him with the Belly-To-Belly Suplex, followed by the Legdrop. Yoko yells “BANZAI!” and butt-splashes Savage in the corner. He tries a second time, but Savage moves out of the way. Yoko collapses as Savage heads up top for the MACHO ELBOW. Out of “instinct”, he covers Yoko, so Yoko presses him up over the top rope and to the floor for possibly the most exaggerated Rumble finish ever. (66:35) If you didn’t pay much attention to Yokozuna before this match, you would have to now. This lacked so much star power. I mean, you wouldn’t think that one year would make much difference, but it did and the match suffered because of it. I’m going with the standard amount of stars for a Rumble, because it’s at least worth that much. **½

Final Thoughts: The only two matches that are worth going out of your way to see are HBK/Jannetty and Bret/Razor. I enjoyed HBK/Jannetty a little more just because they had a pretty intriguing backstory to make the story of the match just as intriguing, while Bret/Razor was more like they didn’t really have anybody else strong enough to compete with Bret. Nothing really all that different from his other matches at the time anyway. Then again, there are people who really enjoy the Bret/Razor match more than HBK/Jannetty, but not this guy. I’m going to be very lenient here and go with a thumbs in the middle because even though the Rumble wasn’t all that great, the undercard is still pretty decent as long as you fast forward past Bam Bam/Bossman. Nothing must-see here, but it’s not going to kill you to watch it.

And just because I’m in the mood…

• Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair – (Raw 01.25.93, Loser Leaves the WWF)
  

From the Wrestlefest ’93 tape that I don’t have. Hint, hint. Perfect paintbrushes Flair down on the mat to send him out to the floor. Heenan calls Flair over to feed him a foreign object in his knee pad. Back in, Perfect works a hammerlock, but Flair elbows him in the corner and chops away. Perfect spins Flair around for some chops of his own. Flair Flop! They trade chops again in the corner. Perfect starts throwing punches, so Flair throws him out and grabs a chair. He looks to nail Perfect, but Hebner dives on the chair to save Perfect. Now we JIP back in with Flair sending Perfect in the corner, only Perfect oversells the bump and flies out to the floor. Apparently, Perfect hit his head on the ringpost, which explains the blading. Back in again, Flair pounds away and whips Perfect hard into the corner for several nearfalls while Flair has his foot on the rope. Flair cheats just a tad more by placing his shin over Perfect’s throat while he argues with the ref. Out of nowhere, Perfect reverses a whip and nails Flair in the face. Jackknife rollup gets two. Then Perfect blocks a hiptoss and counters to a backslide for 1-2-NO! Flair begs off into the corner as Perfect follows him in for a ten-count corner punch, so Flair brings him out with an atomic drop. Rollup gets two. Flair rolls to the apron, allowing Perfect to bring him back in with a suplex for 1-2-NO! Flair goes low to slow down Perfect, setting up a sleeper. Perfect’s arm drops twice, but not three times! Perfect fights up and runs Flair into the corner, and then applies a sleeper of his own! Flair escapes with a back suplex and grabs the FIGURE-FOUR! That’s right, Ric. You grab those ropes. This gets several nearfalls when Flair has hold of the ropes, but Hebner finally catches him and makes Flair release the hold. Flair kicks at the knee and heads up top, but Perfect is there to slam him down. We JIP one more time to Flair rolling towards the ropes to slip the foreign object on his hand. WHAM! Perfect never saw it coming. Flair gets rid of the evidence and covers Perfect after an elbow drop for 1-2-NO! Perfect got his foot on the bottom rope. Flair pounds away on the cut some more and chops Perfect, but he NO-SELLS and scares Perfect off into the corner. He chops on Flair and sends him in for the ride followed by a backdrop. He whips Flair in again, but he flips out onto the apron and runs up to the top turnbuckle. Flair comes down on Perfect, but he gets caught on the way down. Cover, 1-2-NO! Flair begs off into the corner again and trips Perfect up for the corner pin while using the ropes, but Hebner catches Flair cheating again and kicks his feet off the ropes. Perfect counters to a cradle for two. Flair sends Perfect off into the ropes, but he ducks low and receives the PERFECTPLEX for 1-2-3. (17:34 shown) That does it for Flair in the WWF until WCW gets eaten up by Vince in 2001. I think they tried too hard to make this match great, and while it is good, I really don’t feel that it was one of those epic matches. I guess overrated is the word I’m looking for here. I don’t know, maybe I’ve just seen too many Flair matches from the ’80s. ***½