Drama’s Raw Report 10/12/09

Monday Night Raw
October 12, 2009
Indianapolis, Indiana
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

The show opens with co-holder of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Chris Jericho. Jericho talks about Bragging Rights in two weeks, and that besides the title matches there will be a huge 7-on-7 tag match pitting the best of Raw vs. the best of Smackdown. Jericho says he’s the best at what he does, and he’s the captain of the Smackdown team because he’s the best on that show. His team will humiliate and destroy the Raw team at Bragging Rights. Suddenly Jericho is interrupted by Raw Guest Host Nancy O’Dell, who’s actually looking quite hot tonight in her little Payton Manning jersey. She says he’s not starting the show. Jericho asks who the hell she is, and she says who she is and that he can leave now. With that we go to the ring, and now…..ARE YOU READY? Out comes Triple H to a massive pop as he’s throwing the neon green sticks into the crowd. Triple H says it’s not a normal night tonight, but he goes through the DX routine. However he stops and tells everyone that Shawn Michaels is not here. Everyone’s bummed, and Triple H is too. So he decides to call Shawn at home. Shawn’s outgoing cell message is him singing his theme song which is pretty cool. Shawn finally picks the phone up and he and Hunter have a conversation about Shawn’s sick daughter and he had to stay home to take care of her. They pimp the new DX book and he hangs up. Triple H then starts talking about Bragging Rights as DX are the Raw co-captains. Hunter is interrupted by the Unified Tag Team Champions, who come down and say that Smackdown will rip up Raw at Bragging Rights. Hunter says Smackdown is a good show, and then he proceeds to make fun of it. Not crazy about that, but I guess when its show vs. show you have to. Hunter says that Smackdown isn’t in Raw’s league. Jericho says that Smackdown will be built as the dominant team because he’s the genius of Raw and that he will get all the players to put the team together. Hunter starts to stir the shit by saying that Jericho is the boss and that Show does whatever he says. Show says that’s not necessarily true, and that he actually carries the team. Jericho looks at him and asks what he said. Show says that’s right, and he didn’t get pinned in the match with DX last week. Jericho says he wasn’t the laughing stock of Sportscenter by being humiliated by Shaquille O’Neal. Show says at least Shaquille O’Neal was 7 foot tall, unlike Bob Barker who punked Jericho out. Jericho says thanks to him Big Show is a winning monster again, rather than the chump who lost at Wrestlemania XXIV to Floyd Mayweather. Show says he’s fed up and wants to be on Raw’s team at Bragging Rights. Triple H says that’s great but the slots are all filled. However Trips did talk to guest host Nancy O’Dell and she said he can let Big Show earn a slot. Big Show says fine, he understands that. Triple H says he has to win his match tonight, and its against…big shock…Chris Jericho. Jericho is stunned and that match is next.

Bragging Rights qualifying match
Unified Tag Team Champion Big Show vs. Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho

Both men stalk each other to start. They lock up and Show pushes Jericho into the corner and lets go. They lock up again and Jericho attempts a waist lock. Show butts him loose. Jericho tries a chop that’s like swatting a brick wall. Show throws him in the corner and chops him into next Christmas. Jericho stalks the floor. Show grabs Jericho by the neck and pulls him over the ropes to the canvas. Jericho is pissed and keeps trying to bait Show on as he tries to relax. Show’s had enough, grabs Jericho by the throat and throws him to the corner. Jericho goes for the Codebreaker but Show catches him and places him down in the corner. Jericho slaps him, so Show slaps him off the corner. Jericho hits the floor and apparently hurts his knee. Show goes to the floor to see how he is, as the referee counts. Jericho then tries to beat Show to the ring but Show throws him to the floor and wins the match by countout. WINNER: Big Show by countout (Grade: 1)

RAW TEAM: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Big Show
-Tonight’s special correspondent Maria Menounos is with Legacy. Ted DiBiase says he’s feeling ok after HIAC, and Cody Rhodes says he’s still sore but ready to compete at Bragging Rights under the Raw banner. Maria says well they’re not exactly on the Raw team. Legacy says why not? Maria says DX are the captains and in charge of the qualifying matches. So tonight Ted and Cody must compete in a triple threat match for a spot on Raw’s team. Legacy is pissed that they have to compete against each other, then Ted asks who the third guy is? Maria says smiling…it’s John Cena. Isn’t Cena going to be wrestling in a one hour match that night?

Divas Championship
Mickie James © vs. Jillian

Why is Jillian getting a match when Alicia Fox has the #1 contender spot? Strange. Mickie doesn’t look good tonight, she looks tired. The match isn’t bad, in fact Jillian tries some interesting moves like an X-Factor and a power bomb off the top rope, and she goes for the pin and in old school Randy Savage/Greg Valentine style, she puts her feet on the ropes and…wins the title? WINNER, AND NEW DIVAS CHAMPION: Jillian (Grade: 1.5)

-Jillian starts celebrating her new title by singing Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” when guest host Nancy O’Dell comes out. She congratulates Jillian by telling her to stop singing. She then says a major trade went down as she talked to the other General Managers and Jillian must defend her Divas Title right now against Raw’s newest diva, someone who knows a thing or two about the Paparazzi.

Divas Championship
Jillian © vs. Melina

Melina, who just lost a title match to Michelle McCool for the Women’s Title on Smackdown, returns to Raw! This match is about a minute as Melina hits that awesome power bomb spin move and wins the Divas Title. WINNER, AND NEW DIVAS CHAMPION: Melina (Grade: 0)

-What the hell happened to Mickie James? I wonder if she’s on the shit list and was punished.

-Back from break, and we now know that next week’s Raw guest host is Snoop Dogg, live from Jacksonville. We go backstage and Triple H is on speakerphone with Shawn, while there’s a cardboard cut out of him. They talk about their team for Bragging Rights when Shawn’s music starts playing and out comes Hornswoggle dressed as Shawn Michaels, chaps and all. He does the chop and Shawn says he sees the TV at home and starts yelling for him to take his gear off. Hornswoggle superkicks the HBK cutout and does the DX chops on them then runs off. Honestly, Hornswoggle with the wig and fake beard looked like a midget version of Gregg Allman.

-Backstage Santino Marella is with Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos. Santino thinks they’re hot and tries out for a male anchor gig at Access Hollywood. Then Beth Phoenix comes storming in and says she found out she’s been traded to Smackdown. Nancy says yes, she has. Beth flips out and says that’s not fair and they better change it. Maria says the locker room actually quite pleased. Beth grabs Maria by the throat and says you want to say that again. One thing leads to another and Santino gets Nancy to book a match between Beth Phoenix and Maria Menunos tonight.

-We go back to last week and the setup of the “Anything Goes Iron Man” match at Bragging Rights between John Cena and Randy Orton.

Triple Threat Bragging Rights Qualifying match
Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena

Is Cena going to be in both matches? Will he lose the Iron Man and switch teams? A lot of intrigue here. Of course it starts mostly as a handicap match as Legacy beats down Cena for the beginning portion of the match. Cena takes control after about 7 or 8 minutes and starts beating on Cody, then on Ted. Great turn of events, as Randy Orton comes out to distract Cena but while that happens Cody rolls up Ted and gets the win. He’s going on the Raw team! WINNER: Cody Rhodes (Grade: 2)

RAW TEAM: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Cody Rhodes

-Legacy starts arguing with each other when Nancy O’Dell comes on the screen and says that later tonight Legacy will face Randy Orton and John Cena in a tag team match.

Bragging Rights qualifying match
Jack Swagger vs. MVP

These two have had a very good feud over the past few months, and here they meet with a slot on the Raw team at Bragging Rights on the line. A quick match and effectively a squash as Swagger hits his gutwrench powerbomb and effectively squashed MVP. What did he do wrong? WINNER: Jack Swagger (1.5)

RAW TEAM: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger

-Backstage DiBiase and Rhodes continue arguing and Randy Orton stops them. He says tonight the focus is getting back on track and beating John Cena down. Teddy and Cody both accuse the other of wanting to pin Randy. Orton say don’t even THINK about doing that.

Bragging Rights qualifying match
Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne

Excellent match here, regardless if they’re both babyfaces. Let them just go at it for 6 or 7 minutes. Of course they deserve more. A lot of reversed and missed finishers and a pretty good pace. Bourne seems to be wrestling more as the heel here, ducking all the big moves, but in a pretty sweet finish, Bourne goes for something off the top rope but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise in mid-air to win the match and join the Raw team. Evan Bourne needs to go back to ECW. He’s lost on this show. WINNER: Kofi Kingston

RAW TEAM: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston.

-The final Raw spot will be decided on Superstars this Thursday between Mark Henry and Chris Masters.

-Backstage and Triple H is getting Maria ready for her match with Beth Phoenix, showing her kicks and the like. Chavo Guerrero comes in and starts bitching that Triple H and Hornswoggle are in cahoots and that Chavo should be on the Raw team. Triple H looks at Maria, and Maria kicks Chavo in the gonads. Everybody laughs, Nancy evens gets off a great “That was nutty” line. Shawn Michaels does the “SUCK IT” line over the phone while his cardboard cutout is bandaged up.

Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes & Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim & Maria Menounos

I don’t think Rosa Mendes is that great looking, she kinda looks like Fergie. Maria whips off a good kick and slap to Beth Phoenix. Typical 6-diva tag, as Kelly Kelly gets her leg drop finisher on Rosa Mendes to win the match. WINNERS: Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, & Maria Menounos.

-Back from break and we’re joined by the new United States Champion, The Miz. Miz has a mike and says show respect to the new US Champion. He gets booed. He says get used to this, because he’s the US Champ. He says at Bragging Rights, the Miz will face former tag team partner John Morrison. He didn’t say title vs. title. He says yes they were the greatest tag team of the 21st century but Miz says he carried them. Morrison was nothing more than long hair and abs. Miz was the substance and he’ll prove it at Bragging Rights.

Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton & John Cena

Orton grabs the mike and says he got off the phone with next week’s guest host Snoop Dogg that next week will be John Cena’s last night on Raw. So next week Cena will face the biggest match of his WWE career next Monday night. The match is effectively a handicap match as Orton looks like Sid in that 1992 SNME match when he turned on Hulk Hogan. He’s pretty much standing in the corner not really caring about anything. This is pretty much a repeat of the triple threat match earlier in the night. Cena then gets a blind tag on Orton, forcing him to face his protégés. They dance for a bit then Cena gets back in. After more action DiBiase steals a pin from Randy Orton. WINNERS: Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

-Before we go off the air, its announced that John Cena will face Triple H in what could be John Cena’s last night on Raw.

FINAL GRADE: B-