WWF: Monday Night Raw (01.03.94)

Monday Night Raw
January 3, 1994
Poughkeepsie, NY
Mid-Hudson Civic Center

The current WWF champs were as follows:
World Champion: Yokozuna (6/13/1993)
Intercontinental Champion: Razor Ramon (9/27/1993)
World Tag Team Champions: The Quebecers (9/13/1993)

SIDENOTE: Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about the last Raw of April 1997. It’s coming.

Meanwhile in the Undertaker’s work shop. He’s building a super LARGE casket made to fit for a certain sumo man for the Royal Rumble. Paul Bearer continues on about a contract clause. What of your future, Yokozuna? OHHHHHH YESSSS.

This Past Weekend: Wrestling Challenge, 1/2/94 – Jim Cornette complains about a contract clause that states Yokozuna/Undertaker at the Royal Rumble will be a casket match. Cornette says that clause wasn’t there when he first signed the contract. Anyways, interviewer Stan Lane keeps saying the word casket like it’s the word of the day and he’s on Pee Wee’s Playhouse. The problem with that is that Yokozuna doesn’t like that word very much. He’s SKEERED of caskets – or maybe it’s just the word. People have weird phobias. Who knows. Now let’s get raw.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Johnny Polo.

  • WWF World Champion Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. Dan Dubiel

No Cornette this week. Guess he thought Yoko could handle Dubiel without him. Yoko just has fun with this guy. BANZAI DROP squashes Dubiel like a bug at 3:52.

Let Us Take You Back To: Superstars, 1/1/94. Lex Luger takes on Quebecer Jacques. At one point, both men and the ref are completely knocked out. Quebecer Pierre heads down to pull the switcheroo on Luger when he kicks out of a Pierre running legdrop and makes the comeback pinning Pierre with the BIONIC FOREARM even though it was Jacques who was scheduled in the match. Jacques protests to the ref about the decision, so Lex hits him with the BIONIC FOREARM as well and pins both Quebecers in a matter of moments. Afterwards, Johnny Polo even gets a slice of the BIONIC FOREARM in his face.

Earlier Today: Vince McMahon sits down with Lex Luger in the stands for an interview. Since whoever wins the Royal Rumble match gets a WWF title shot at WrestleMania, Yokozuna protested against Luger’s admittance into the match due to the SummerSlam 1993 encounter was labeled as Lex’s only WWF title shot. It’s all up to WWF President Jack Tunney to make the decision. It’s safe to say that time has given us his answer.

Quick shoutout from Thurman “Sparky” Plugg. He’s on his way to the WWF, folks!

  • The Smoking Gunns vs. Bastion Booger & Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon)

It’s a main event anywhere in the world! The Gunns use their quickness to own the fat boys to start. Although things slow down with Booger since he’s not quite the agile man Bigelow is. When Booger turns Bart inside out with a clothesline, we head to commercials. When we return, Bart can’t get the sunset flip on Booger. Before Bastion takes a seat on Bart’s chest, Billy saves the day with a running bulldog! Double shoulderblock puts Booger down again, but then Bart misses a charge and falls to the floor. Well, something like that. Bigelow runs Bart into the post as Johnny Polo starts talking not losing weight for sex purposes. That dude was always into some crazy stuff. ANYWHO, Bart is *your* face in peril until Bart avoids a corner charge from Booger. HOT TAG TO BILLY! High Knee and a dropkick on Bigelow! Double Back Drop gets 1-2-NO! Meanwhile, Bastion Booger is being consoled by Luna Vachon. He likes it a little too much and starts to flirt with her by kissing her hand. All of that leaves Bigelow at the hands of the Smoking Gunns. Flying sunset flip by Billy gets another nearfall. Oh snap, Booger just KISSED Luna on the lips. She shows her disapproval of his sexual advances with a slap across the face. Apparently, he’s still turned on as he grabs Luna for a hug. Bigelow is still getting beat up while BASTION BOOGER is trying to take his girl. Finally, Bigelow sees what is happening and comes to her aid. They end up beating each other up for the ten count as the Gunns win through no fault of their own. (8:18 shown) Can’t wait for all those four star Bigelow-Booger matches! *½

  • Jeff Jarrett vs. John Chrystal

This is the 1990s colloquialism hour for Vince McMahon. He’s learning all kinds of new words here from Johnny Polo. Chrystal tries to get a bunch of quick pins on Jarrett, but of course he’s here to ultimately LOSE after a DDT at 3:05.

Let Us Take You Back To: Monday Night Raw, 12/27/93. The Quebecers helped their manager Johnny Polo score a CHEAP win over Marty Jannetty.

As Johnny Polo brags over the victory, out comes Marty Jannetty and the 1-2-3 Kid. How convenient! Since Johnny Polo has beaten Jannetty and says he could beat the Kid, it wouldn’t be a big deal to give them a WWF tag team titles shot against the Quebecers. Polo says it’s not a good idea since the Quebecers have the Hart brothers at the Royal Rumble. However, the challengers here aren’t concerned with that. As Jannetty grabs Polo by the shirt, it’s enough to convince him to give Jannetty and the Kid tag titles shots next week on Monday Night Raw. And there you have it!

  • Shawn Michaels (w/Diesel) vs. Brian Walsh

Naturally, HBK has his IC title with him. Quebecer Jacques joins us on the telephone. He’s thrilled to have this match next week. Walsh looking like Jon Heder from Blades of Glory with that blue shirt on before the match. Oddly enough, he tries to make a match out of it here. HBK comes back and throws Walsh out to Diesel just for fun. Back in, Walsh attempts another comeback. It ain’t happening though. PILEDRIVER puts Walsh down for the count at 5:15.

Next week: BASTION BOOGER vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW! They just couldn’t wait to give us that one! Also, don’t forget about the Quebecers defending the tag titles against the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty on the first anniversary episode of Monday Night Raw!

Posted on January 12, 2012, in WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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