WWF: Monday Night Raw (01.31.94)

Monday Night Raw
January 31, 1994
Bushkill, PA
Fernwood Resort

The current WWF champs were as follows:
World Champion: Yokozuna (6/13/1993)
Intercontinental Champion: Razor Ramon (9/27/1993)
World Tag Team Champions: The Quebecers (1/17/1994)

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Irwin R. Schyster. IRS proves that not all wrestlers are comedians.

  • Marty Jannetty vs. Johnny Polo

This was originally scheduled to be the 1-2-3 Kid against Johnny Polo, but he comes out on crutches due to a knee injury and joins Vince and IRS for commentary. Polo is calling BS on the Kid’s knee injury. We can’t hear what else he says to Jannetty since there’s so much talking going on from our esteemed commentators. Jannetty picks up the mic and nails Polo when he tries to BUM RUSH THE SHOW! Polo gets tied up in microphone cord shenanigans. Once that’s over, Polo bails and starts to leave. Jannetty will have none of that and brings Polo back inside for a flying bodypress. Superkick gets two. Polo knees Jannetty out as we take a break. When we come back, Polo fails to backdrop Jannetty over the top to the floor. Jannetty rolls out anyway and they brawl a little bit. Double sledge by Polo triggers some dancing. Let’s hope he never does THAT again. Chinlock by Polo leads to a double-KO. Polo works a headlock and comes off the top again, but eats a boot on the way down. HERE COMES JANNETTY! Clotheslines and turnbuckle smashes everywhere. Polo shoves off a superplex, but gets crotched on the top rope. Jannetty misses a corner charge and runs his shoulder into the ringpost, but still manages the ROCKER DROPPER for the 1-2-3. (9:36 shown) IRS calls Jannetty a cheater, which gets under the skin of the 1-2-3 Kid. They start arguing and the Kid gets nailed. Jannetty comes to the Kid’s aid and while he’s beating up IRS, the Kid nabs the briefcase and rushes off as quickly as a cripple can. After the refs and agents settle everything down, IRS notices the briefcase is gone and accuses Jannetty of taking it. Wild stuff! **

After the break, a very distraught IRS heads to the back to find Jannetty thinking he has his briefcase. As IRS makes it back to the curtain, out comes Razor Ramon wearing his gold necklace again and Marty Jannetty holding the empty Halliburton. Now that Razor has his gold back, Jannetty hands the briefcase back over to IRS with all the drama of a human hostage situation.

After another break, IRS accuses Jannetty of stealing the contents of his briefcase. Somehow Vince segues into WWF President Jack Tunney’s decision for what will be the main event of WrestleMania. There’s supposed to be a coin toss tonight involving the Royal Rumble co-winners Bret Hart and Lex Luger. Whoever wins the coin toss gets the first WWF title shot and the loser faces suitable competition. If Luger wins, Bret faces Owen Hart. If Bret wins, Luger faces Crush. Knowing the feud already boiling between Savage and Crush, it seems like the winner of the coin toss is a dead giveaway. Then there will be a second WWF title match involving the coin toss loser and the winner of the first WWF title match. Also, both WWF title matches will have unannounced special referees.

  • Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) vs. Miguel Rosado

IRS makes a challenge to Jannetty for next week. Lots of Jannetty on Raw this month. Speaking of future matches, Vince mentions Bam Bam Bigelow gets Doink the Clown this Sunday on Wrestling Challenge. Diving Headbutt off the ropes gets the win at 2:18.

Time for the WrestleMania main event coin toss! WWF President Jack Tunney, Arnold Skaaland, and various agents surround Vince McMahon for this one. Tunney shows us the coin and then does some weird stuff with it in his hand! Anyways, out comes Bret Hart and Lex Luger. They seem pretty cordial with each other despite what is on the line. As history has told us, Luger wins the coin toss with ‘heads’. Luger gets a chance to speak first and says he looks forward to facing a competitor like Bret in the final WWF title match at WrestleMania 10. Bret says it is unfortunate that he has to wrestle his brother, but it appears to be inevitable. Bret says he looks forward to facing Luger as well.

  • Kwang (w/Harvey Wippleman) vs. Rich Myers

This is KWANG’s Raw debut. Owen Hart joins us on the phone for his reaction to the coin toss. He’s ecstatic for the chance to face his brother to show the world he’s better. Vince asks the question again that Owen dodged on All-American wrestling the previous weekend and said that he wants to keep the rest of his family out of this because this is merely between he and Bret. Superkick by Kwang gets the win at 3:10.

Let Us Take You Back: Superstars, 1/29/94. Paul Bearer’s tribute to the Undertaker. He will return! OHHHHH YESSSSS!

  • Earthquake vs. Corey Student

This is Earthquake’s first match back in almost a year’s time. Vince gets word from Marty Jannetty that he accepts the challenge of IRS for next week. EARTHQUAKE SPLASH wins at 3:24.

Marty Jannetty and Razor Ramon are interviewed from backstage. Jannetty is going to beat up IRS next week for everybody in America that’s been abused by the IRS. He says IRS can’t whoop him without the help of the STINKIN’ US government. IRS can take that to the bank and then steal it from himself! Emblazoned interview!

Before we go, there’s a HUGE “Irwin” chant going around.

Next week: Thurman ‘Sparky’ Plugg will be in action, Owen Hart will beat up somebody, the Smoking Gunns get a piece of somebody, and then the main event: Marty Jannetty v. IRS!

Right at the close of the show, they replay the clip of the 1-2-3 Kid taking the briefcase. IRS finally realizes who took it off the commentary table. He’s livid, but there’s nothing he can do about it.

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Posted on January 20, 2012, in WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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