WWF: Monday Night Raw (01.22.96)
Monday Night Raw
January 22, 1996
The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Bret Hart (11/19/1995)
Intercontinental Champion: Goldust (1/21/1996)
World Tag Team Champions: The Smoking Gunns (9/25/1995)
Sunny says Monday Night Raw contains action of a graphic nature. Viewer discretion is advised. That chick is still playing pool in her nightie!
We get a nice montage summarizing what happened at the Royal Rumble. Duke “The Dumpster” Droese won the Free For All match over Hunter Hearst Helmsley via DQ to become the #30 entry in the Royal Rumble lasting a little over a minute before getting tossed out while Helmsley became the #1 entry and managed to last nearly 50 minutes in the match, Jeff Jarrett KABONG’d Ahmed Johnson to get disqualified, the Smoking Gunns defeated the Bodydonnas despite Sunny showing everyone her assets, Goldust introduced Marlena to the world and with a little help from the 1-2-3 Kid beat Razor Ramon for the IC title, and Shawn Michaels became the second man to win back-to-back Royal Rumble matches last eliminating the kayfabed favorite going into the match: Diesel. In the WWF title match, Diesel came down and pulled the ref out of the ring when Undertaker had the match won after giving Bret Hart a Tombstone, thus awarding the match to the Undertaker by DQ and setting up Bret v. Diesel in a STEEL CAGE for the upcoming In Your House PPV.
Now let’s get RAW.
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler.
- Vader (w/Jim Cornette) vs. Savio Vega
Cornette makes a big introduction for Vader since this is his first ever Raw appearance. Usual Vader squash as it’s barely a JTTS match as Vader gets put over strong and wins with the Pump Splash at 3:01. Afterwards, Savio receives another, which brings out refs to try and stop Vader. That doesn’t turn out well. One takes a couple headbutts, another receives a POWERBOMB. This is fun! Not even Cornette can control this man even though he can literally feel his meal ticket fading away. It gets so serious that WWF President Gorilla Monsoon comes out to try and stop Vader. It turns into a REAL confrontation as Vader starts shoving Monsoon, who fires back with chops! SNAP! Even at this point, Vader still won’t listen to reason and AVALANCHES Monsoon and a ref in the corner. But that’s not all. Vader sets up Gorilla for a Pump Splash and delivers! Too little too late as Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon head down to clear the ring. Oh, It’s definitely Vader Time.
Moments Ago: TMTC Vader puts Gorilla Monsoon on the shelf. Well for now, it’s just a stretcher. It’s coming though!
In the back, Vader is still acting like a RAVING LUNATIC as he manhandles Cornette. He looks over at the camera and declares war on everybody in the WWF – including Mr. McMahon and that other guy next to him.
- Razor Ramon vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Stills are shown of the Ramon-Goldust match from the Royal Rumble where 1-2-3 Kid flew in with a spinning heel kick to cost Razor the IC title. The yet-to-be-pinned Helmsley comes out with Playboy centerfold Shae Marks. Just because he’s a classy blue blood doesn’t mean he doesn’t like chicks with big cans. You know what I’m talking about, fellas! OHH YEAH! Anyways, the answer is of course she did. The question is did she get ogled by Al Bundy in a special guest appearance on Married with Children. Ted DiBiase and the 1-2-3 Kid appear on the split-screen to tell us that Razor Ramon is a crybaby, yet they’re the ones holding a huge baby bottle and a big diaper. So who’s the baby now? So much of the Clique going on in this match. After the Rumble, Razor has plenty of homophobic rage to dish out on HHH to start. Hunter ducks a charge and pulls the top rope down to send Ramon out to turn the tide as we go to commercial. When we return, Hunter is seen delivering a baseball slide to Ramon. Helmsley wins a suplex battle on the apron and drops Razor’s scrotum on the top rope. Hunter’s idea of working Razor over is whipping him from corner to corner and throwing in a few well-placed punches every now and then. With Ramon laying on the apron, the 1-2-3 Kid comes down and puts that bottle in his mouth. Apparently Kid’s got something disgusting on the nipple because RAZOR SELLS THE BOTTLE! That wakes up Razor as he punches Helmsley down and chases after the Kid to give Hunter the countout victory. (5:59 shown) Even more frustrated now that he’s lost *again*, he tries to give Helmsley the RAZOR’S EDGE. However, he can’t pull that off as Hunter escapes and bails with his gal pal. Razor is just having the worst month ever. *
Here’s the final installment of Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin’ Warroom.
So when did Monday Night Raw get a house band? Vince McMahon brings out the 1996 Royal Rumble winner Shawn Michaels for an interview. Shawn Michaels says that since winning the Royal Rumble is checked off his list and now he just has to wait for WrestleMania 12, he wants to take care of Owen Hart who keeps saying he’s the one who put Shawn Michaels out of wrestling. Shawn gives that credit to the nine guys in Syracuse, not Owen. Since the challenge has been laid out, Owen’s manager Jim Cornette comes down to negotiate a deal. Cornette says Owen already beat him and there’s nothing for him to gain in this scenario. Shawn then makes the mistake of telling Cornette that he would give anything in the world to get his hands on Owen Hart. Anything, you say? Cornette asks for the WWF title shot at WrestleMania 12. Shawn meant ‘anything’ when he said it. He starts telling Cornette all he’s gone through to get where he is, but Corny could care less. Shawn asks the Kliq what they want him to do, they cheer for the match anyways. So there you have it. Shawn v. Owen at In Your House for the WWF title shot at WrestleMania 12. Shawn throws out Cornette over the top rope just for fun.
- WWF World Champion Bret Hart vs. Goldust (w/Marlena)
During his entrance, Goldust and Marlena appear on the split-screen to tell us that his IC title win was an Oscar-winning performance. He wants more gold though. See you in the ring, Bret Hart. By the way, neither the WWF nor the IC title are on the line here. Bret looks like he’s got kind of a black eye going on here. Just as the match begins, we take a commercial break. When we come back, Bret escapes a hammerlock by sending Goldust to the floor using his own momentum. More commercials! Back to the match, Bret makes another comeback and kicks Goldust to the floor. Looks like the Gold Man has had enough as he starts to leave with Marlena, but Razor Ramon appears and punches him back into the ring. ANOTHER commercial break. What is this, TNA Impact? After the break, Bret locks in the SHARPSHOOTER for the win. (5:42 shown) I mean, not much to see here and I’m wondering if WCW’s commercial breaks had anything to do with it. ¾*
After the match, Vince asks Bret about the cage match with Diesel at the upcoming In Your House PPV in February. Bret wants Diesel in the cage to end their feud once and for all. He’s tired of hearing Diesel’s excuses and mentioning how the ‘establishment’ wanted him to change his personality to fit the mold of what they think a champion is supposed to be. As far as the Undertaker goes, Bret promises him a rematch after the unfair ending to their last encounter. Bret ends the interview telling us he’s deadly in a cage. AWESOME.
Next week: SUPER MONDAY! Shawn Michaels meets Yokozuna and Diesel takes on the British Bulldog. Plus, we’ll get an update on the condition of Gorilla Monsoon and Billionaire Ted responds to the question: Why are you trying to put the WWF out of business?
And that’s all for now.
Posted on January 28, 2012, in WWE and tagged 1-2-3 Kid, Billionaire Ted, Bret Hart, Goldust, Gorilla Monsoon, Marlena, Nacho Man, Raw, Razor Ramon, Savio Vega, Shawn Michaels, Sunny, Ted DiBiase, The Huckster, Triple H. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.