WWF: Monday Night Raw (12.02.96)

mondaynightraw

Monday Night Raw
December 2, 1996
New Haven, CT
New Haven Coliseum

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Psycho Sid (11/17/96)
Intercontinental Champion: Hunter Hearst Helmsley (10/21/96)
World Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & Davey Boy Smith (9/22/96)

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.

  • Flash Funk vs. The Goon

Vince enjoys Flash Funk’s entrance – WAY TOO MUCH. When Jerry Lawler is telling you to calm down when ladies are present, you’re overdoing it. Of course this is his RAW debut, so there’s also that. It’s been a while since we’ve seen the Goon as well. This crowd is DEAD, by the way. Flash tries to get them going with some high spots like a dive onto the Goon. He even busts out a flying moonsault press onto the floor to take us into commercial. When we come back, Goon avoids a second moonsault press, but never really does anything to turn the match into his favor. Talk between Vince and Lawler moves to the announcement of the death of Tiny Tim who had a small one-time role in the WWF back in 1993 where Lawler broke his ukulele. Lawler can’t help but laugh a little bit at the demise of this man. Flash lands the TUMBLEWEED on the Goon and picks up the win. (5:34 shown) Just a JTTS match to get Flash over. Nothing special. *

Let Us Take You Back: Last Wednesday in London, England. Steve Austin nailed WWF champ Psycho Sid from behind and almost won the WWF title, but someone or something stopped that from happening. Keep watching to find out and DON’T TURN OVER TO NITRO, YOU JERKS.

They show the clip of Jerry Lawler breaking Tiny Tim’s ukulele. He still makes jokes about the man. Maybe he would have thought his death was funny. I don’t know the man.

  • Phineas I. Godwinn (w/Hillbilly Jim) vs. Diesel II

Jim Ross joins us for commentary for this match to talk up fake Diesel and fake Razor Ramon’s plans to secure the WWF tag titles at In Your House on December 15. About as exciting as Kane as Diesel against Mideon can possibly be. Razor Ramon comes down and distracts Phineas away from doing the Slop Drop. It’s all the distraction needed for Diesel to hit the JACKKNIFE for the win. (3:17) If you’re not watching Nitro, there’s something wrong with you. ½*

We join Shawn Michaels for an interview from WWF Studios conducted by Vince McMahon. He’s much more composed this week than he was last week. Shawn says he’s an emotional man and it is what it is. He doesn’t mind the boos he got at MSG because no one can deny he puts on the best show. Shawn is also confident that he’ll regain the WWF title at the Royal Rumble. He mentions how he’s not your typical role model, but what are ya gonna do? Whether or not Bret Hart or Psycho Sid likes it, he will continue to being Mr. Emotional and will throw it in your face every chance he gets. I prefer the interview from last week, honestly.

  • Jesse James vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw (w/Uncle Zebekiah)

JJ blocks a hiptoss early and punches Bradshaw a little bit before blasting him with a crossbody block as he comes off the ropes. Looked like he missed a step there. JJ won’t stop all this running around crap and finally gets booted down by Bradshaw. He even busts out La Magistral cradle to get a two-count on Jesse. Bradshaw takes over from here. Uncle Zeb sneaks in a shot while JJ is hanging on the ropes. Swinging neckbreaker by Bradshaw scores another nearfall. JJ escapes a sleeperhold with a back suplex. He also backdrops a piledriver to mount his comeback. JJ does a little Fargo strut and the crowd WOOS. Uncle Zeb takes a punch off the apron. Once Zeb recovers, he grabs JJ’s foot from the floor, which trips him up into a LARIAT by Bradshaw for the win. (5:57) For those interested, this was the first pinfall loss for Jesse James. *

In the latest Karate Fighters round, Jerry Lawler subs for the WWF champ Psycho Sid while Todd Pettengill subs for Mr. Perfect since he’s no longer around. Lawler wins and he’ll face Sable in the finals – NEXT WEEK. Ugh.

We take a special video look at Steve Austin stirring up all the problems with the Hart family last week on Raw. For revenge, Davey Boy Smith came out and attacked Steve Austin in London, England this past Wednesday night and ended up getting Psycho Sid DQ’ed. When Sid tried to powerbomb the Bulldog, Bret Hart came down and pulled his brother-in-law out to safety. Bret then got in the ring and took a CHOKESLAM for his troubles. After the match in London, Steve Austin and British Bulldog share their grievances from their separate locker rooms. Owen Hart tries to keep Davey Boy focused on the WWF tag titles and not Bret or Austin. All that matters to Bret Hart right now is his WWF title match with Psycho Sid on December 15. Sid even gets some interview time. He’s the man. He’s the master. He’s the ruler of the world. Same old stuff.

  • Jake Roberts & Marc Mero (w/Sable) vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley & Billy Gunn

As Jake has been known to do in the past, he goes for the DDT early and can’t make it work on Billy Gunn. Jesse James appears on the split-screen and challenges Bradshaw and Uncle Zeb to a handicap match for next week. Helmsley gets pulled over to the corner for a tag to Mero, but then he quickly bails out to the floor before tagging in Gunn. Now Mero works over Gunn and this the Mr. Wrestling II knee lift for two. Tag to Jake, Gunn pokes him in the eyes and tags HHH. However, Jake kicks away Helmsley and tags in Mero. Again, Helmsley bails out and slides back inside just to tag Gunn. From there, Mero and Jake twist on Billy’s arm for a while. Gunn backdrops away a DDT from Jake though. That sets up some face in peril stuff for Jake to take us into commercial. When we return, Jake is still in trouble. Eventually, he escapes a front headlock and DDTs Gunn. Hot tag to Mero, and we get several heel miscommunication spots until Gunn walks out on Helmsley. That leaves Helmsley all alone for the WILD THING to give Mero and Roberts the win. (12:27 shown) Holy crap that was boring. Afterwards, Jake pulls out his python and scares Helmsley away. This would prove to be Jake’s final match on RAW. *

NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY DEFEND THIS SHOW AS BEING SUPERIOR TO NITRO AT THIS POINT. THERE IS NO WAY.

NEXT WEEK: Undertaker versus Mankind – NO HOLDS BARRED. Plus, Psycho Sid meets Hunter Hearst Helmsley – champion versus champion (in a non-title match). Also, “Double J” Jesse James meets Justin Hawk Bradshaw & Uncle Zebekiah in a handicap match! At least on paper, it makes up for this awful episode.

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