WWF: Raw is War
October 13, 1997
Topeka, KS
Landon Arena

The current WWF champs were as follows:
World Champion: Bret Hart (8/3/1997)
Intercontinental Champion: Owen Hart (10/5/1997)
European Champion: Shawn Michaels (9/20/1997)
World Tag Team Champions: The Godwinns (10/5/1997)

TONIGHT: The Legion of Doom have vowed to win the WWF tag titles – or RETIRE.

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler.

Out comes the Hart Foundation to meet Vince McMahon in the ring for an interview. Davey Boy Smith is conspicuous by his absence due to an anniversary and a birthday, says Vince. Before Bret Hart can get one word out, D-Generation X appear on the TitanTron. Shawn Michaels and Hunter Hearst Helmsley share some clips of what happened last week with Shawn sticking the Canadian flag up his nose and Helmsley beating Bret by countout thanks to Chyna and HBK running interference. Well, Bret has had enough of these two clowns and challenges them to a fight. Normally Shawn would take him up on the challenge, but he beat him the last time they faced at WrestleMania XII. He’s like Jerry Seinfeld and Bret is Duncan Meyer. SHAWN CHOOSES NOT TO WRESTLE. Shawn can’t wait to take that “stupid piece of tin” off Bret’s shoulders once again at Survivor Series. He also says he’s already beaten the whole Hart Foundation anyways, so what’s the point in coming out there now? Helmsley doesn’t see a point either since he beat Bret last week and all. Shawn and Helmsley try and get over the D-Generation X name and vows to break all the rules. Back to the ring, Bret doesn’t think those two will make it to Survivor Series and start to leave when the Nation of Domination head down. Kama has a match scheduled, you see.

• Non-title match: WWF Intercontinental Champion Owen Hart (w/Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart) vs. Kama (w/the NOD)

Much like the match Owen had with Faarooq at Badd Blood, the match is overshadowed by all the ringside shenanigans. DX comes out before the bell and takes the headsets away. They talk junk about Bret the whole time and eat bananas. You know, it’s a phallic fruit and these two tell people to “suck it” all the time. YOU SEE, IT’S FUNNY. Jerry Lawler tries to be cool and act like he’s on their side, but Shawn says he calls the shots around here unlike those days when he used to work for Lawler. Nobody knows what the F he’s talking about. Since HHH and HBK don’t trust Chyna to speak, Rick Rude gets Lawler’s headset and says nothing of note either. Anyways, the match isn’t anything special. Not that these two were going to tear the house down or anything. Shawn jumps on the announce table and crotch chops Bret. He heads over to put a stop to it when the Nation who outnumber the Harts tonight intercept them to unleash a beating. Meanwhile, DX just stands back and mocks everything. Go fig. (4:46) But you better believe there will be hell to pay. They are quickly turning the Hart Foundation babyfaces. You know why? BECAUSE MONTREAL IS A WORK. ½*

In the back, the Godwinns look forward to taking the LOD out of the WWF.

Last time on Shotgun Saturday Night, Sunny took off her referee’s shirt and gave Jim Cornette an asthma attack. GASP!

• Max Mini & Nova vs. Mosaic & Tarantula

Max Mini hits some lucha armdrags and headscissors though on Mosaic. Lots of lucha silliness here though, too. In one spot, Mosaic runs over to the corner with his arms in the air to clearly catch Nova and take a headscissors while Tarantula gets thrown away. It’s just bad lucha to me. To the floor we go, Max Mini and Nova take turns with tope suicidas. Nova takes a bad landing straight down on his head though. Meanwhile in the ring, Max delivers a sunset flip for the win on Mosaic. (2:27) Fast-paced little match here. I’m just waiting for Kane to come out and take care of these guys. It’s coming. *

From Shotgun Saturday Night, Rockabilly received an invitation to join up with the Road Dogg Jesse James after the Honky Tonk Man cost him a victory over Flash Funk. He made it look like he was sticking with the HTM, but took the GEETAR away and KABONG’D him real good. And just like that, the New Age Outlaws are born.

• WWF European Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Flash Funk

No match. Flash was ready to bust open Shawn Michaels tonight, but that ain’t happening. Kane comes out and dishes out a CHOKESLAM and a TOMBSTONE. Paul Bearer reminds us and the Undertaker that Kane will continue to destroy the WWF until Undertaker answers their challenge. I think this Kane guy just might get over.

Next thing we know once Kane and Paul Bearer leave, the lights come on and DX heads down to the ring. Shawn jumps on Flash for the pinfall and feigns a struggle to hold on tight as Helmsley counts three. Afterwards, Shawn and HHH share an exaggerated celebration until Rick Rude gets on the stick and runs through Shawn’s different monikers. He does slip up and calls Shawn the “pecan” because it sounds like ICON, which is a big joke in the biz right now.

After some graphics are shown to hype the rest of the show, Shawn is shown on the ramp humping the air and crotch chopping away. Meanwhile, Helmsley is crotch chopping Chyna as well. It’s really getting out of hand.

We check out the big LOD moment in the WWF when they beat the Nasties at SummerSlam 1991 for the WWF tag belts.

• 8-Ball & Skull (w/the DOA) vs. Recon & Sniper (w/The Truth Commission)
  

This is the first we’re seeing on RAW of the Jackyl who is replacing the Commandant. ECW fans know Jackyl best as Cyrus the Virus. JR calls him the “David Koresh of the WWF”, which is still a fresh reference in 1997. This is the type of match where Vince and King can revert back to what they would do in 1994 and 1995 during jobber matches as they discuss current events. Here they talk about Bill Clinton and Janet Reno. JR thinks they should take their two-man act out on the road. This match blows, by the way. When Skull (or 8-Ball) gets a hot tag, Jackyl pulls the top rope down to cause them to spill out to the floor. However, it’s right in front of the ref, so that’s a DQ. (3:44) We get a big brawl afterwards, which you know is just building towards Survivor Series. ½*

AND NOW WE ENTER THE WARZONE! Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler.

Steve Austin kicks off the second hour. Vince McMahon needs to make Austin’s return to the ring official by getting him to sign the waiver and the match contract with Owen Hart at Survivor Series over the IC title. Since Austin doesn’t trust McMahon, he wants Vince to sign first. So, Vince puts his Mother Goose glasses on and signs first. Austin tries to walk away without signing, but thinks twice and signs the contract up in the corner. Now there’s only one thing left to do. Everyone thinks he’s going to stun McMahon again, but Austin just wants a handshake. Well, he gets the handshake, but then pulls Vince close and reminds him just how quick he could turn Vince’s lights out. Before Austin leaves, Vince still wants to know what he was doing at Badd Blood. It just turns out that Faarooq was the wrong guy at the wrong time. He doesn’t have a problem with Faarooq or the NOD; he just wants Owen Hart. Well, here comes the Nation of Domination. Faarooq says some things and neither I nor Austin understood one word he says. Anyways, Austin challenges him to a fight or any one of them – *pause* – any one of the NOD and they’ll get a mudhole stomped in them and he’ll walk it dry. Well, Faarooq sends Rocky Maivia who receives his first Stone Cold Stunner. The crowd goes ballistic as Austin runs out through the crowd to get away from the Nation. FREAKING awesome.

More LOD videos. They show them from Wembley Stadium at SummerSlam 1992.

In the locker room, the Legion of Doom are going to find out if they can still cut it in today’s wrestling world. They don’t want to live off their past accomplishments like Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage (?!). If they can’t cut it, they’re out of here.

• Brian Christopher vs. Tajiri

Alluding to the subject of Cornette’s Commentary tonight, Vince McMahon calls Phil Muchnick a “miserable SOB”. Tajiri reminds me of Yuji Nagata right now. Vince and Ross continue to make jokes about Christopher being Lawler’s son. Full Nelson Facebuster and a running bulldog to Tajiri gets two. Terry Funk rolling cradle gets two. Crowd thought it was over. Handspring Elbow leads to a Fujiwara armbar attempt, but Christopher fights it off. Tajiri kicks Christopher in the mush, but then eats a clothesline. Vince mentions a new Hulk Hogan movie coming out and laughs about it. Wow, I don’t even think WCW is talking about WWF this much. Revisionist history is a scary thing for those who just want the truth. Tajiri hits a suplex and delivers a rolling senton followed by a standing moonsault for two. O’Connor roll by Tajiri gets countered a cheap rollup by Christopher with a handful of tights for the win. (5:23) Tajiri looked fine, but Christopher looked off more than usual tonight. Afterwards, Tajiri kicks Christopher over the top rope and out to the floor. *½

On tonight’s edition of Cornette’s Commentary, Jim exercises his freedom of speech to say what he chooses to say about Phil Mushnick by lambasting the New York Post sportswriter for exercising *his* freedom of speech when he chose to say what he said about wrestling and its fans. Anyone see the irony in all of this?

• Goldust (w/Marlena) vs. Savio Vega (w/Los Boricuas)

As you can clearly see, Goldust and Marlena are back together. Now Goldust can go back to concentrating on his opponent instead of worrying about his wife. Los Boricuas interfere and get sent to the back. As Savio goes after Marlena, he baits Goldust into charging into a kick to the face. Back inside, Savio avoids the Curtain Call and lands the SPINNING HEEL KICK for two. He’s clearly got his feet on the ropes. While the ref is busy getting rid of Marlena’s cigar that rolls into the ring, Goldust pops Savio with her golden purse for the three-count. (4:20, man) Los Boricuas return as Goldust and Marlena get out of Dodge. *

• Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Shawn Michaels & Chyna) vs. The Patriot

No match. As soon as Patriot walks out the curtain, Rick Rude walks up behind him, kicks him in the rear, throws hot coffee in his face, and beats to the back with a Halliburton. Shawn Michaels announces Hunter Hearst Helmsley as the winner. Another hard-fought victory, for sure. Rick Rude joins the crew. Hey wait, here comes Commissioner Slaughter to point the finger at Helmsley and Michaels. They mock him straight to his face. I believe Shawn just said the “F” word, but I’m not sure. Anyways, Ahmed Johnson’s music hits before Slaughter can announce his presence. Shawn and Hunter are shaking in their boots because here comes the Nation of Domination to get after Ahmed. Meanwhile, DX heads up the ramp, takes a seat, and eats some popcorn from the Halliburton while Ahmed gets mugged in the ring. Here comes the Legion of Doom and the returning Ken Shamrock to help out Ahmed and clean house on the Nation of Domination. DX walks out on the show because it’s LOD and Godwinns time.

• WWF Tag Team Champions The Godwinns (w/Uncle Cletus) vs. The Legion of Doom

So yeah, if the LOD don’t win the tag titles tonight, they will RETIRE. Neither Godwinn can handle either Road Warrior to start. Loads of clotheslines and brawling type stuff. Animal gets a powerslam on Phineas for two. Surprisingly, Hawk becomes *your* face in peril as they work over the back. Hawk gets a desperation double clothesline on the Godwinns and reaches Animal for a tag, but nobody saw it. While Phineas keeps Hawk at bay, Uncle Cletus and Henry run Animal’s shoulder into the steps. Refs come out to help Animal to the back while the Godwinns are both stomping Hawk in the ring. Ref Earl Hebner tries to pull Henry away, but he takes a SLOP DROP to take him out of the match. Walking up the ramp, Animal sees Hawk being double-teamed on the TitanTron and psyches himself up to go help Hawk because it’s DO OR DIE tonight. He goes clothesline crazy with his one good arm. Back suplex to Phineas and a standing dropkick to Henry. Time for the DOOMSDAY DEVICE on Phineas, but Henry saves the day. In comes Cletus with his lucky horseshoe. He looks to nail Animal and whacks Henry by mistake. Clothesline to Cletus! Phineas nails Animal and looks for a piledriver perhaps, but Hawk flies in with the clothesline and ref Mike Chioda counts the pinfall to crown new WWF tag champs. (8:47) The crowd explodes and as a life-long fan of the Legion of Doom, I’m down with this. After the bell, the Godwinns beat the crap out of Uncle Cletus and bust up his nose ending his short-lived WWF career. *½

Folks, we’re outta time.

The WWF presents Survivor Series (brought to you by Milton Bradley’s Karate Fighters for the third year in a row!) LIVE on PPV on November 9 from Montreal! Here is the card as it currently appears:

MAIN EVENT: WWF Champion Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Owen Hart (c) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin