WWF Survivor Series 1990
November 22, 1990
Hartford, CT
Civic Center

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Ultimate Warrior (4/1/1990)
Intercontinental Champion: Kerry Von Erich (8/27/1990)
World Tag Team Champions: Hart Foundation (8/27/1990)

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Roddy Piper.

The egg! The egg! What’s in the egg?! I got to know what’s in the egg! It’s driving me NUTZ!

• The Perfect Team (Mr. Perfect, Demolition Ax, Smash & Crush) (w/Bobby Heenan & Mr. Fuji) vs. The Ultimate Warriors (Ultimate Warrior, Kerry Von Erich, Road Warrior Hawk & Animal)
  

This would be the one and only official meeting between LOD and Demolition. But that’s okay. It was pretty much an opportunity that had already passed by the time LOD quit the NWA anyways because of the dwindling popularity of Demolition. Anyways, this was as good as you might expect it to be. Perfect is the only one who actually tries to wrestle the match. The tides go back and forth early on with Animal and Smash being tossed around. Von Erich gets caught in the heel corner, but twirls out and grabs the CLAW on Ax. Then Warrior tags in and eventually puts Ax away with the WARRIOR SPLASH. That’ll do it for Ax in the WWF, by the way. (3:23) Warrior becomes face-in-peril for a bit. After that’s done, Hawk overpowers Perfect and he bumps around like a madman. Hawk is double-teamed by the Demos, but comes back with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE on Smash for 1-2-NO! The near-fall causes a huge brawl between LOD and the Demos, which gets both teams DQ’ed. (7:36) We’re down to Warrior/Von Erich vs. Perfect. Not good. Perfect stays and fights like a man, which is more than you can say for the Honky Tonk Man at the first Survivor Series when he just left. TORNADO PUNCH puts Perfect on the floor and then a running clothesline puts him out with Heenan. Warrior comes over to toss Perfect back in and gets a little too rough with Heenan. Sure, he’s a heel manager, but he wasn’t even doing anything. He didn’t need to throw him over the guardrail like that. Back in, Von Erich misses a corner charge and runs shoulder-first into the post. Von Erich attempts a comeback, but a thumb to the eye will stop anything. Perfect bashes Von Erich’s head into an exposed turnbuckle and that makes him easy pickings for the PERFECTPLEX for the 1-2-3. (11:02) Monsoon and Piper fail to mention that Perfect had just pinned the IC champ. Of course it hadn’t aired yet, but Perfect had already won the belt back. Warrior runs in and misses corner splash, so Perfect immediately goes for the PERFECTPLEX! 1-2-NO!! Perfect kicks and chops away, but nothing can stop this guy when he WARRIORS UP! Jumping shoulderblock, followed by the WARRIOR SPLASH gets 1-2-3. (14:20) Survivors: Ultimate Warrior. Thanks to the “Ultimate Survivor” match where all the winners wrestle a final match, we haven’t seen the last of the Warrior on this show. **

• The Million Dollar Team (Ted DiBiase, Honky Tonk Man, Greg Valentine & “Mystery Partner” The Undertaker) (w/Virgil, Jimmy Hart, Brother Love) vs. The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware & The Hart Foundation)
  

Possibly only those who followed Stu Hart’s Stampede Wrestling in the ’70s and ’80s know much about Dean Hart, but Dean was one of Bret’s older brothers who passed away a day before this event due to kidney failure at the young age of 36. Piper makes mention of this during the Hart Foundation’s entrance, saying that Bret dedicates this match to Dean. While that’s not why this match is important, albeit noteworthy, this was the Undertaker’s surprise debut in the WWF by dropping the meanness, and taking up deadness instead. You’d think that would be worse, but no. I would say the whole Undertaker gimmick paid off quite well for Mark Calloway. Taker actually starts the match, standing across the ring from the faces with a cold stare. He beats up the Hart Foundation and then quickly puts Koko B. Ware away with the TOMBSTONE. (1:39) Bret takes another chance against Taker and evidently is successful, because Taker has to tag out to Valentine. Dusty tags in and wins a slugfest and then tags in Neidhart. He softens up Valentine and tags in Bret, who runs into a knee. Honky tags and puts the boots to Bret, but a blind tag to Neidhart gets Honky pinned with a powerslam. (4:16) This leads to Rhodes vs. DiBiase, which is the main feud that brings these teams together. Neidhart tags back in, but gets tripped up and distracted by Virgil. He turns around into a clothesline from DiBiase for 1-2-3. (5:49) We go back to Rhodes/DiBiase. Once DiBiase gets the upperhand, he tags Taker in, who puts Dusty away with the double-sledge off the ropes. (8:26) That leaves Bret against DiBiase, Valentine and Taker. Taker dumps Dusty out for Brother Love to kick him around. Dusty finally has enough of that and backs Brother Love up the aisle way. That brings Taker down to help out his manager, which also gets him counted out since he was the legal man. (9:17) Meanwhile in the ring, Valentine attempts a FIGURE-FOUR, but Bret counters with an inside cradle for 1-2-3. (9:57) Now we’re down to Bret vs. DiBiase. PUT YOUR HART INTO IT! An atomic drop from Bret puts DiBiase on the floor for a pescado. DiBiase gets thrown off into the ringpost before they head back into the ring. Bret teases the Sharpshooter, but kicks DiBiase in the gut instead. DiBiase reverses a cross-corner whip to turn the tide on Bret, setting up the chest-first corner bump. DiBiase whips Bret across again, but ducks low and receives a backslide for 1-2-NO! They run the ropes a bit and Bret trips over DiBiase, screwing up his knee. Is he for real though? No, he’s not for real. He sneaks over and rolls DiBiase up for 1-2-NO! Virgil grabs Bret, but DiBiase charges and nails his bodyguard/slave by mistake. Bret rolls DiBiase up again for 1-2-NO! Backbreaker/flying vertical elbow drop combo gets 1-2-NO! Bret ducks a clothesline off a whip and hits DiBiase with a crossbody, but Ted rolls through for 1-2-3! (13:54) Survivor: Ted DiBiase. Once Dusty/Taker left, this was awesome stuff. **½

• The Visionaries (Rick Martel, Warlord, Hercules & Paul Roma) (w/Slick) vs. The Vipers (Jake Roberts, Jimmy Snuka & The Rockers)
  

Martel had sprayed Roberts in the face with his cologne, blinding him in one eye in the process. You can tell because he’s got a white contact in his left eye. Jake’s fighting tonight against doctor’s orders too. He’s such a rebel! As for the rest of these guys, P&G screwed up Shawn Michaels’ knee at SummerSlam, but now Shawn is back and wanting some revenge. Jannetty starts off against Warlord. He runs all over Warlord, but come on. Once Warlord gets his hands on Jannetty, he’s done. Shawn and Martel go for a bit, which was pretty good. Tag to Roberts, but Martel bails out immediately right before he tags in Roma. Roberts lifts him out of the wristlock and tags in Snuka. He dropkicks Warlord around and then tags Jannetty again. Jannetty fights out of a bearhug and tries one off-the-top-rope moves too many, and gets caught with a powerslam for 1-2-3. (5:03) Shawn comes in and hurracanranas Warlord over and tags in Jake. Roberts finally takes Warlord off his feet with a bunch of clotheslines and then tags Michaels back in. Shawn plays face-in-peril for a good while. Martel eventually misses a charge and runs into the post to set up the hot tag to Snuka. Jumping Headbutt gets two, but Martel rolls through a crossbody out of the corner for 1-2-3. (9:28) It’s 4-on-2 now. Jake comes in, but Martel tags out again before any damage can be done. Jake goes for the DDT on Herc, but he slips away. Roma tags and misses a flying fist drop. Michaels gets a tag and he’s all HOUSE OF FIRE on Roma. A blind tag to Hercules gets Shawn clobbered and set up for the POWER-PLEX to put Shawn away. (15:40) It’s JAKE VS. THE WORLD! Hercules and Warlord beat him down, but Jake fights out of a bearhug and nails Warlord with the DDT. Oops, the ref is busy with the heels. Martel sneaks over to Jake with his Arrogance spray can, but Jake sees it coming and chases Martel to the back with Damien. (17:42) Survivors: Rick Martel, Warlord, Hercules and Paul Roma. Well, that’s really going to stack the odds up against the babyfaces in the final match. It’s looking like Uncensored ’96 doomsday cage match odds. Martel’s team is the only team at Survivor Series where everyone survived. Good story with Martel trying to avoid Roberts at all costs, but the match was extremely one-sided. **¼

• The Hulkamaniacs (Hulk Hogan, Jim Duggan, Tugboat & Big Bossman) vs. The Natural Disasters (Earthquake, Haku, Dino Bravo & The Barbarian) (w/Jimmy Hart & Bobby Heenan)
  

If everybody’s feeling it, this COULD be good. Not saying it will be, but it could be good. I know Bossman/Barbarian have put out some good matches. Haku is usually pretty fun. It’s Duggan, Tugboat, Earthquake and Bravo that I’m worried about. Hogan’s Hogan; he’s pretty much the same act every time. Duggan and Haku have a pretty good start. Duggan falls back into a hot tag to Bossman. He runs into a dropkick for two. But then Bossman hits the BOSSMAN SLAM out of nowhere for 1-2-3. (3:15) Bossman continues to beat down Barbarian. Heenan gets up on the apron and takes a head smash into the ringpost, but then Barbarian nails him from behind. Duggan tags and hits a backdrop on Barbarian, but that lands him in his corner to tag in Bravo. Earthquake gets a tag and I feel like I’m watching 1996 WCW. Jimmy Hart pulls the ropes down and causes Duggan to tumble out and give chase with 2×4 in hand. He beats Quake down with it and that will get him DQ’ed for sure. (6:12) Hogan comes in and dismantles everybody else. He slams Quake and takes him in the corner for a 10-count punch, but Earthquake brings him out of the corner for a slam of his own. Bravo hits a pair of elbow drops, but Hulk counters a slam into an inside cradle for 1-2-3. (7:59) Who says he can’t wrestle?! Quake misses a charge on Bossman and comes off the top, but gets caught. Hogan comes in, CHEATS by shoving Bossman on top, and helps out with the 1-2-NO! Barbarian nails Bossman as he comes off the ropes. Quake splashes Bossman and then delivers a fatal elbow drop for 1-2-3. (9:08) It’s 2-on-2 now. Can’t forget about Tugboat. Hulk tries to slam Quake again, but that’s dumb. Quake misses a splash and that allows the hot tag to the Tugster. The Tugamaniacs are running wild! The future Natural Disasters go to the floor and brawl until they both get counted out. (11:33) Barbarian proceeds to BEAT Hogan down. He gives him a piledriver, but then we get a double-KO spot. That leads to a Barbarian FLYING CLOTHESLINE for the 1-2-NO! It’s HULK UP time! He points the finger, he punches back, he hits the Big Boot, and then finishes with the LEGDROP for the 1-2-3. (14:49) Survivor: Hulk Hogan. Afterwards, Hulk celebrates by sacrificing Bobby Heenan to himself. About what you would expect from this match. *½

Mean Gene welcomes “Macho King” Randy Savage out for an interview. I knew something was missing from this show. He looks like “Candyman” Randy Savage more than a king, but who am I to say. Savage says that Sherri has slapped Warrior three times to get a title shot ,but he still won’t grant him a shot. Well, probably because your woman is SLAPPING him. Just maybe? Why not ask nicely and say please a lot?

• The Alliance (Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana & The Bushwhackers) vs. The Mercenaries (Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov & The Orient Express)
  (w/Gen. Adnan & Mr. Fuji)
  

Slaughter announces that he only salutes one flag now, and that’s the Iraqi flag. He then blasts the US troops in Saudi Arabia and gives a Bush advice. Santana gets rid of Zhukov almost immediately with the FLYING JALAPENO! (0:48) Sato kicks Santana around, but then Tanaka comes in and kicks him down by accident. The Bushwhackers attack with the BATTERING RAM headbutt on Sato for the three-count. (1:46) Santana tags back in and hits the FLYING JALAPENO on Tanaka for 1-2-3. (2:13) We’re down to 4-on-1 and the faces have the advantage! Volkoff and Slaughter have a little match. Slaughter blocks a running kick from Volkoff and drills him with a clothesline to take over. Slaughter hits his Elbow Drop for the 1-2-3. (5:25) The Bushwhackers go hog wild on Slaughter, but Luke hits knees off a flying splash. A gutbuster puts Luke away. (6:30) Before you know it, Butch has missed a corner charge and gets nailed with a clothesline and pinned. (6:53) It’s now 1-on-1. Santana hits a nice FLYING FOREARM from the top rope for 1-2-NO! He wants a monkey flip out of the corner, but Slaughter shoves him off. Swinging neckbreaker connects for 1-2-NO! Backbreaker gets another two. Suplex gets another two! Tito grabs a headlock, but gets sent into the ref. All the same, Tito hits the FLYING JALAPENO. Adnan gets the ring with the Iraqi flag and stabs Santana right in the back with the pole. The ref wakes up as Slaughter applies the CAMEL CLUTCH and then calls for the bell. (10:52) Slaughter thinks he’s won, but the ref DQ’s Slaughter. Apparently even in his half-dead appearance, the ref actually saw what happened and was able to reason it out. Wow, impressive. Survivor: Tito Santana. Even the Orient Express and Tito couldn’t pull this one out of being pretty horrible. *

Mean Gene believes the egg is about to hatch! Oh, here it comes out of its shell! What’s it going to be?! Why, it’s a dude in a turkey suit. What else would it be? The crowd immediately pees on this whole thing. If only this were Philly. People would be dying right now. The Gobbledegooker takes Mean Gene down the aisle and into the ring so they can dance to a “rock” version of “Turkey in the Straw”. The only people who seemed to enjoy this, was happy drunk people. The poor sap who had to get in the turkey suit: the talented Hector Guerrero.

• Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior & Tito Santana vs. Ted DiBiase, Paul Roma, Hercules, Rick Martel, Warlord (w/Virgil & Slick) – Ultimate Survival Match
  

So it’s 5-on-3. There’s no WAY Hogan, Warrior and Santana can win this, right? Guess who’s going to be doing the job on the face team. Should be a no-brainer. Tito puts Warlord away with the FLYING JALAPENO within no time. (0:28) Santana comes back after being beat down by Roma and DiBiase and tries the FLYING JALAPENO, but DiBiase ducks. He then runs into a hotshot and DiBiase gets the three-count on him. (1:51) Hogan comes in and plays face-in-peril for a bit. It’s so weird seeing Hogan vs. Roma. Hogan really takes a beating from all four guys. P&G give him the POWER-PLEX, but Hulk kicks out at two and I think you know what happens next. Roma’s all confused and turns around into a clothesline for 1-2-3. (5:57) Martel rushes in, but gets kicked after he telegraphs a backdrop. Ultimate Warrior gets the tag. He goes crazy on Martel and looks like he could put him away, but he tags Hogan instead. Huh? Martel takes a walk and decides it’s best to leave. (7:17) Hogan hits the Big Boot and LEGDROP on DiBiase to send him to the showers. (8:30) Warrior tags and delivers the Jumping Shoulderblock, followed by the WARRIOR SPLASH for the 1-2-3. (9:07) Ultimate Survivors: Hulk Hogan & Ultimate Warrior. Warrior’s doubly ultimate tonight! Slick gets pummeled and after some guy posing, it’s time to call it a night. What a weird ego tornado this was. *½

Final Thoughts: An absolutely pointless show. Nothing was started, nothing was furthered, and nothing was resolved. Outside of the Taker debut, there was nothing noteworthy about this show. Even the Savage appearance and the Slaughter pro-Iraqi promo could have just as easily aired on the weekend shows. Don’t even get me started on the Gobbledegooker. As for the matches themselves, nothing even reached ***, which had never happened at Survivor Series. There was always at least one match that swept away into that territory, but not on this show. As Kramer said on “The Merv Griffin Show” episode of Seinfeld, “We need to break down and retool.” Wow, who quotes Kramer these days? It’s 2008 for crying out loud. Nevertheless, it does apply here, as that’s exactly what Vince would do over the next two years. Thumbs down for Survivor Series 1990.