WWF SummerSlam 1991
August 26, 1991
New York City, NY
Madison Square Garden

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Hulk Hogan (3/24/1991)
Intercontinental Champion: Mr. Perfect (11/19/1990)
World Tag Team Champions: The Nasty Boys (3/24/1991)

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper & Bobby Heenan.

• Ricky Steamboat, Kerry Von Erich & Davey Boy Smith vs. The Warlord & Power & Glory (w/Slick)
  

This has got to be Vince’s way of punishing Steamboat for leaving for a few weeks after he won the IC belt in ’87. Steamboat goes from being a classy NWA world champion two years earlier, to opening up a PPV with a ring full of steroid freaks. Steamboat carries Power & Glory to an armdrag fest. Von Erich punches on Hercules a whole bunch and tags in Davey Boy. Bulldog and Warlord have a “we meet again” moment. Bulldog levels him with a clothesline and nails the Hourglass Suplex for two. Steamboat tags back in and gets overpowered to become face-in-peril. Not overglorified though, just overpowered. Herc shuts down a comeback with a hotshot, but then Warlord eats a boot as he jumps down on Steamboat from the middle-rope. HOT TAG TO VON ERICH! He goes PUNCH-CRAZY on everybody and blind-tags Bulldog. Davey Boy leaps on Warlord, but gets caught, so Von Erich puts Warlord down with the TORNADO PUNCH! That gets 1-2-NO! Davey Boy gives Roma the RUNNING POWERSLAM and messes up the set-up to the finish a wee bit, but I think it’s pretty forgivable. DBS cuts off Warlord as Steamboat hits Roma with the FLYING BODYPRESS for 1-2-3. (10:43) MSG erupts! Decent, but still nothing too special about it. **¼

• WWF Intercontinental Champion Mr. Perfect (w/The Coach) vs. Bret Hart
  

The Coach is in no way related to Jonathan Coachman whatsoever. This coach is Canadian and well, white. John Tolos had been wrestling since the ’50s, but took over Heenan’s spot as a manager once Heenan went strictly into a broadcaster’s role. Coach is just a guy in sweats with a whistle and a clipboard. They lock up and immediately Perfect is bouncing out of the ring as only he can do. Back in, Bret delivers a crucifix for 1-2-NO! Then Bret goes to a headlock and both guys trade some hair pulling. Meanwhile, Heenan makes some funny jokes about Piper’s parents. Classic. Perfect buries a knee to escape, but Bret bounces off the ropes with a crossbody for two. The momentum from the kick-out puts Bret on the floor, but he comes back in with a sunset flip for 1-2-NO! Perfect gets out of another headlock with a cheapshot. Bret does that spot where he teases the Sharpshooter and instead just stomps Perfect in the stomach. They trade slams and then Hart clotheslines Perfect out to the Coach. The champ decides to leave and fight another day, so Bret brings Perfect back in and rips his singlet in the process. Perfect cowers away, but cheapshots Bret again and kicks him out to the floor. When Bret tries to get back in the ring, Perfect shoves him off into a cameraman who gets squashed up against the guardrail. Bret finally gets back in and rolls Perfect up for 1-2-NO! Perfect punches back and whips Bret from corner-to-corner for two. Perfect hits the Running Neck Snap and a jackknife cover gets 1-2-NO! Dropkick puts Bret back on the floor. Perfect follows him out and punches him away before he heads up top. Bret gets up on the apron and stops Perfect from coming down. They brawl on the middle rope until Bret falls to the mat for 1-2-NO! Perfect slings Bret across the ring by his hair and then hooks on the sleeper. Bret collapses, but his arm only falls twice! He elbows out and tries another crucifix, but Perfect remembered what happened last time and drops back on Bret. Cover, 1-2-NO! Perfect whips Bret in for the chest-first corner bump for 1-2-NO! It’s PERFECT-PLEX time! That gets 1-2-NO!! Perfect nearly decks Hebner for not counting to three. Here comes Bret with the comeback. He hits a pair of atomic drops and then slings Perfect by his hair straight into the ringpost. Suplex gets two. Small package gets two. Russian Legsweep gets two. Backbreaker/flying vertical elbow drop gets two. The crowd can’t believe it. While Bret is arguing with Hebner, Perfect rolls Bret up for 1-2-NO! The momentum from the kick-out puts Perfect on the floor, so Bret follows him out and sends him into the ringpost. Back in, Bret kicks Perfect’s leg out from under him as they walk halfway around the ring. Bret goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but the Coach is up on the apron. Bret nails him, but gets low-blowed by Perfect. He then stomps Bret in the balls and nearly gets DQ’ed. Perfect starts giving Bret legdrops to the groin and does one too many, as Bret catches his foot and maneuvers Perfect over into the SHARPSHOOTER! (18:04) Fantastic match. While Shawn Michaels is the most consistently great performer at WrestleMania, Bret Hart is the most consistently great performer at SummerSlam, and it’s matches like this one that prove that fact. As for Perfect, he wouldn’t wrestle again until Survivor Series in 1992 due to all the back problems he was suffering through. ****¼

• The Bushwhackers (w/Andre the Giant) vs. The Natural Disasters (w/Jimmy Hart)
  

Poor Andre makes his final PPV appearance on crutches after having his knee clipped by the big huge colossal Earthquake. Pretty much the standard Bushwhackers comedy match. They bite you and prance around the ring like idiots. The ‘Whackers use Quake’s head as the BATTERING RAM to take out Typhoon. Quake nails Luke from behind, but misses an elbow drop. Butch reaches for a tag, but Quake pulls Luke back and drops that elbow. Typhoon tags and applies a Canadian Backbreaker on Luke, then hands him over to Quake for a bearhug. Meanwhile, Heenan hears that Hulk Hogan is in his dressing room, so he’s going to go talk to him. Luke bites out and heel miscommunication causes a hot tag to Butch. The ‘Whackers deliver the BATTERING RAM to both Disasters, and Typhoon gets school-boyed for 1-2-NO! Luke goes after Quake on the floor and takes a backbreaker. That leaves Butch all alone with the Disasters. EARTHQUAKE SPLASH gets 1-2-3. (6:27) After the match, the Disasters go after the near-crippled Andre, but LOD make the save. ¾*

We go to the back where Heenan is standing at Hulk’s door with the Big Gold belt. Apparently, Hogan (the camera doesn’t show) opens the door and Heenan makes a challenge on behalf of the REAL world’s champion Ric Flair. The door gets shut in Heenan’s face and makes a bunch of threats. Of course, with the door closed.

• Ted DiBiase (w/Sensational Sherri) vs. Virgil – Million Dollar Title Match
  

This feud had been going on all year between these two. Virgil turned on DiBiase at the Royal Rumble, beaten DiBiase at WrestleMania by countout, and now he gets a Million Dollar title shot at SummerSlam. Roddy Piper spends the whole match rooting Virgil on during the commentary. Virgil starts off like a HOUSE OF FIRE as Heenan returns to the commentators ringside table. Of course he gets heckled by Monsoon and Piper, but if Ric Flair had been there it would’ve been a different story! Right then, Virgil misses a pescado and SPLATS on the concrete. DiBiase delivers his offense at a methodical pace, but then Virgil ducks a clothesline and applies the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM (cobra clutch)! Sherri panics and hops in the ring to nail Virgil with her loaded purse for an apparent DQ. But nope, the bell sounds and Hebner orders Sherri to return to the back or be suspended indefinitely. WHOA HO! She gets shooed away to the back while Virgil goes crazy with the turnbuckle smashes. Then, DiBiase reverses a whip and sends Virgil into Hebner in the corner. Oh man, that looked fatal! Hebner might never recover from that. DiBiase reverts to his slow moving offense, but it has a purpose. It’s not lazy, he’s just building the suspense. The crowd cringes with every suplex he delivers. You can’t help but cheer Virgil on. The crowd chants for Piper to get in the ring and stop DiBiase while the ref is down, but he knows Virgil wouldn’t want to win that way. DiBiase has Virgil pinned with a Piledriver, but Hebner is STILL down. DiBiase unties a turnbuckle pad and looks to smash Virgil’s face into the exposed steel, but Virgil sends DiBiase face-first to the buckle instead. Virgil crawls over and covers as Hebner counts 1-2-3! (13:11) Virgil wins the Million Dollar belt, but it’s not a sanctioned belt so it really doesn’t matter. It’s the principle of the thing though. After years of being humiliated, Virgil gets his pride back by beating his former boss. Great story told here and a wonderful chapter in the DiBiase/Virgil feud. ***¼

Elsewhere, The Mountie instructs the NYPD on how to deal with Bossman “Mountie-style” when he loses tonight. That pretty much guarantees Mountie is going to lose.

• Big Bossman vs. The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) – Jailhouse Match
  

The loser spends the night in the NYC jail. Bossman treats Mountie like he would some prisoner in Cobb county GA to start. Bossman Straddle connects and then he slides out and pops Mountie in the mouth. Mountie leaps off the middle-rope into a Spinebuster. Jimmy Hart gets chased around, but of course Bossman forgets all about Mountie and gets sent into the steel steps. Back in, Mountie hits the Jumping Back Elbow and whips Bossman hard into the corner. Heenan starts talking about Bossman’s mom again, but Monsoon reminds him of the past. Mountie delivers some elbows and a dropkick for 1-2-NO! Bossman takes an elbow on the apron and falls to the floor as Mountie tries for the countout win. Bossman gets back in the ring just in time and tries to avoid a PILEDRIVER, but nope. Mountie drills him good. Mountie signals Jimmy Hart to get up on the apron and distract the ref while he grabs the dreaded cattle prod. He misses trying to stick him and gets punched in the mouth! BOSSMAN SLAM gets 1-2-NO! Whoa. Mountie goes for another PILEDRIVER, but Bossman stands up out of it and Alabama Slams Mountie for the 1-2-3. (9:38) Mountie’s going to jail, and hilarity will ensue as we check on him throughout the rest of the evening. **

• WWF World Tag Team Champions The Nasty Boys (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Legion of Doom – No-DQ Match
  

Big brawl to start. Animal snaps off a freakin’ powerbomb on Knobbs for 1-2-NO! Once it breaks down into a regular tag match, Sags sprays something in Hawk’s face and then takes a cooler full of beers to the back! Knobbs tags in and dumps Hawk out so Sags can send him into the steel steps. The Nasties deliver the corner whip splash and then Sags hits the Flying Elbow Drop for 1-2-NO! Knobbs comes down on Hawk, but eats a boot on the way down. HOT TAG TO ANIMAL! He destroys both Nasties and a near-fall off a powerslam causes a pier-six brawl. Hawk gets dumped as Jimmy Hart tosses in the megaphone. That almost caused some heel miscommunication, but Sags stops himself before he hits Knobbs and bashes Animal instead. Cover, 1-2-NO! Meanwhile on the floor, Hawk gets the megaphone away from Jimmy Hart and nails Knobbs in the face! Sags takes a megaphone shot to the back of the head as well and then receives the DOOMSDAY DEVICE for the 1-2-3. (7:45) Hawk and Animal become the only team to ever win the AWA, NWA, and WWF tag team belts. This was a huge deal in the post-’80s wrestling world. It would be like a team having won the WWE, TNA and ROH belts in 2008. I think you get the point. It’s a historical moment for the Road Warriors. *½

• Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine
  

This would be the PPV debut of the IRS character. Heenan ~ “The figure-four versus the W-4.” Pretty much a sleeper match. IRS applies the rope-assisted abdominal stretch. He hits a backbreaker on Valentine, but charges knee-first into the top turnbuckle. Valentine applies the FIGURE-FOUR, but IRS makes the ropes. He tries it a second time, but IRS blocks with a small package for 1-2-3. (7:07) The MSG crowd really turned on this one. *½

• Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter, Gen. Adnan & Col. Mustafa – Special Ref: Sid Justice
  

This is a match made in hell. Sid is here to make sure justice is served (don’t we already have a guy who does that?), but earlier in the day, Justice was found talking to Slaughter and his cronies. They offered to make him Lt. Sid Justice! That’s a hard offer to refuse, I tell you what. The story there is whether or not Sid is in Slaughter’s back pocket. Sid does his best to keep everybody in line, including Hogan and Warrior. Slaughter gets punched around and clotheslined for a good long while until Slaughter blindsides Hulk and makes it over to his corner. Mustafa (aka the Iron Sheik) applies the CAMEL CLUTCH, but Warrior kicks him off Hogan. Slaughter tags and goes for the flying knee drop, but Warrior shoves him off the top and Hulk makes the tag. Warrior gets double-teamed after Slaughter draws Hogan to distract Sid. Warrior comes back with a jumping clothesline and finds Hogan for a tag. After Hogan knocks Adnan and Mustafa to the floor, Warrior chases them to the back with a chair. With Sid’s attention turned towards them, Hogan whips out some powder and throws it in Sarge’s face to set up the LEGDROP for the 1-2-3. (12:40) What the heck kind of babyface finish is that? Match was about what you would expect. Funny how that’s the last we see of the Warrior until WrestleMania. Sid and Hogan celebrate by posing in the ring. *

But that’s not all. It’s time for the “Match Made In Heaven” portion of the evening. It’s the Randy Savage/Elizabeth fake wedding ceremony, complete with a cheesy video montage and everything. They have their little white wedding in the ring and it’s pretty much standard wedding stuff. They close out the PPV with them kissing in the aisleway. Of course, the awesomeness came during the reception that aired later. Once they started opening up the wedding gifts (CANDLESTICKS, YEAH!), Elizabeth opened up this one gift that has a COBRA inside! You know, Randy and Liz could’ve been like, “that’s SO Jake!”, but instead they get all freaked out. Undertaker gives them his present, which is an urn smashed on the back of Randy’s head. Things are really getting out of hand here, so Sid scares them away with a wooden chair and two new feuds are instantly born.

Final Thoughts: A much more entertaining SummerSlam than the year before. Personally, one of my favorite SummerSlams. As most anyone else who’s a fan of some old school wrestling enjoy the Hart/Perfect IC title match. Then there’s the DiBiase/Virgil match that anybody with a pulse can get behind. I’m also an LOD fan, so I enjoyed the tag title match. Sure, there’s a crappy main event and then a bland wedding, but I still felt like the show was pretty entertaining. The Mountie rules, by the way. “You want a finger? I got a finger for ya!” Yeah, thumbs up for SummerSlam ’91.