Drama’s Smackdown Report 3/13/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
March 13, 2009
Uncasville, Connecticut
Jim Ross and Tazz

-We recap Monday night, when John Cena put himself into the World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania.

OPENING ANIMATION

JR welcomes us to the Casino in Uncasville, then tells us that Undertaker gets a rematch tonight with Vladimir Kozlov, and Matt Hardy tells all. Right now we start with the champ.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Kofi Kingston

Nice continuity as Kofi looks for revenge after Edge took him out before the Chamber match at No Way Out. Kofi attacks and Edge goes in the ropes. They lock up and Kofi with a headlock. He changes to an armbar but Edge reverses into a waistlock. Kofi breaks with right hands and back to the headlock. Edge reverses into one of his own. Edge comes off the ropes and gets hit with a drop kick for 2. Edge bails to the outside for a breather as we go to break. When we return Edge hits a shoulder block. Edge with right hands but Kofi with a kick to the gut and some rights. Edge with a right and hard snap into the corner for 2. Edge slows things down with a waistlock. Kofi elbows out of it but gets crushed with a flapjack for 2. Edge starts going to the top rope but Kofi pulls a foot out from under Edge, who is draped over the top turnbuckle and Kofi kicks him off the corner to the floor, then finishes with a plancha. Both back in the ring and Kofi keeps laying the shots down. Kofi hits his Boom legdrop and a splash for 2. Edge whips Kofi into the corner but Kofi leapfrogs him and gets a hurricanrana for 2. Kofi gets up and Edge pulls his tights and Kofi goes flying to the floor. Edge goes outside but Kofi with a knee then he throws Edge into the steel steps. Kofi pitches Edge back in and hits a high cross body off the top rope for 2. Off the ropes and Edge with a boot to the face. Kofi’s down as Edge crouches, then goes for the Spear but Kofi with a sunset flip for 2. Kofi goes for Trouble in Paradise but Edge with a sweet block turns it into a Sharpshooter and after some battling he finally taps out. Great match as Kofi got some nice shots on and some drama kept a winner in doubt. WINNER: Edge (Grade: 3)

World Tag Team Championship: John Morrison & The Miz © vs. WWE Tag Team Champions the Colon Brothers

Two weeks ago Carlito & Primo’s belts were up and the kept them. Tonight the Shaman and the Chick Magnet put their gold up. Carlito starts with Morrison and some quick pin attempts early. They lock up and Morrison with some vicious forearms. Carlito ducks a clothesline and hits a rope bounce elbow. Tag to Primo and they pull Morrison out of the corner with a slingshot for 2. Morrison with a low knee and forearm and a tag to Miz. Miz misses a punch and Primo with a Russian Leg Sweep for 2. Miz whips Primo into the corner but Primo leapfrogs the charge and Carlito with a blind tag. They double drop kick off the ropes for 2. Carlito whips Miz into the corner, but goes for a back drop and gets punted. Miz misses a clothesline, almost hits Morrison, but Morrison gets clotheslined anyway. Miz with a front face drop and some punches. Tag to Morrison and they hit their big double slingshot punch/elbow for 2. The Bella Twins look on as Carlito gets double gut-bustered. Tag to Miz and another double team slingshot. Another tag to Morrison and he hooks a Cobra Clutch. Morrison runs into a reverse elbow. He decks Miz outside, then Morrison and a tag to Primo. Primo cleans house and ends with a dropkick for 2. Miz comes in and Primo chucks him out. Morrison’s whipped into the ropes, and a tag to Carlito who hits a clothesline for 2. Miz breaks the count but gets tossed by Miz. Miz gets tossed by Carlito. Carlito turns around and Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive for the win. WINNERS: Morrison & The Miz (Grade: 2.5)

-The Bella Twins, I guess turn heel as they leave with Miz & Morrison? Interesting…

-We return from break and recap Monday Night Raw, when Triple H broke into Randy Orton’s house in St. Louis. An updated version of the infamous Steve Austin/Brian Pillman segment from 1996, except without the kiddie pool.

R-Truth & MVP vs. US Champion Shelton Benjamin & Chavo Guerrero

Truth starts with Chavo and they lock up. Chavo with a waistlock but Truth with a knee to the head. Truth with hip tosses and a kick to the head for 2. Truth with an armbar and a tag to MVP. He throws Chavo down and hits a knee for 2. Tag to Truth and he works Chavo with a suplex. Chavo goes low and hits some forearms. Chavo with a headlock, but when he goes for the tag Shelton won’t tag him. Truth with a back suplex for 2. Chavo pushes Truth into the corner and this time Shelton blind tags himself and he and Chavo glare at each other. That gives Truth time to hit some right hands and clean both guys out. Shelton recovers and goes to the breadbasket with knees. Truth fights back with forearms but Benjamin hits a suplex for 2. Shelton hesitantly tags Chavo and Chavo with forearms. Truth punches back but Chavo with a belly-to-belly for 2. Tag to Shelton and he hits a right hands low. Shelton with an Abdominal Stretch. Truth powers out of it with right hands. Benjamin goes for another suplex but Truth turns it into a bulldog. Both men are down. Truth finally tags MVP and Montel goes off on Shelton. Overhead throw for 2. MVP with a low kick and flying forearm. MVP with a jawjacking knee, then off the ropes with the Ballin’ Elbow for 2. CHavo tries to cheap shot MVP but MVP whips him onto the floor. In the exact same ending as the last tag match, Chavo whips Truth out, MVP whips Chavo out, and then Benjamin hits Paydirt on MVP for the win. Grade: 2

-We return from break and Matt Hardy comes out to a chorus of boos. He takes the mike and says the black cloud looming over his brother Jeff and that will linger until Matt gets his match. Matt says he came out here to get some things off his chest. He says he tried to talk to Jeff about these things, but he wouldn’t. So now Matt says he’s forcing Jeff to listen. He says Jeff’s been through a lot over the past year. He says Jeff had a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows. Matt says Jeff wasn’t at Wrestlemania last year because he was suspended for having a little too much fun. Matt wasn’t at Wrestlemania because he was injured. Matt says from day one no one gave a damn about him or his injury. All anyone cared about was Jeff, and his help, or whether he was returning. Matt says Jeff didn’t care about anything during his suspension. He says Jeff locked himself in his studio, did songs and painted pictures. Matt says Jeff wasn’t responsible for his actions. As always, Matt says he had to come in and pick up the pieces. Matt says Jeff also was involved in some very unfortunate accidents. He was attacked in a stairwell the weekend of Survivor Series. Jeff’s car was run off the road. There was the pyro accident. Matt asks if this was a group effort or one person. Then there was the fire at Jeff’s house. Matt says Jeff was losing everything he had: his recordings, his artwork. He says Jeff asked about his dog Jack. We know what happened to Jack. Matt says accidents turn into tragedies. Matt then pulls out a piece of Jack’s dog collar. Matt asks if Jeff remembers it. Matt says he found it the next day after the fire. Matt says he’s been holding it ever since. Matt says he wanted to give it to Jeff when the time is right. Matt says this was the right time to give this to Jeff as a gesture of love to his brother. Jeff then suddenly walks down the aisle without music. He gets in the ring and starts stalking his brother. He yanks the mike out of Matt’s hand, and says this is so hard to believe. Jeff says to Matt he was behind all of this stuff. Jeff never thought his own flesh and blood could be capable of such evil things. Jeff says he doesn’t want to be reminded of his house and dog. It was everything he loved. Jeff says Matt hates him, he doesn’t love him. However Jeff says Matt hates himself more than he ever hated anyone else. Jeff says Matt is sick, twisted and demented. Jeff says so is he, and then he jumps Matt and starts pounding on him. Matt begs off and suddenly acts forgiving and nervous. Jeff is angry and Matt walks up the aisle. Matt stops at the ramp, half-smiles and leaves. Jeff looks very upset as we go to break.

Divas Champion Maryse & Michelle McCool vs. Maria & Womens Champion Melina

We go back to Monday’s scrum with all the girls as it was title vs. title. Maria starts with Michelle and she starts with punches and kicks. Maria with a Lou Thesz Press and some forearms. Michelle with a handful of hair and a slam to the canvas. Michelle with hair pulling and a headlock with some knee lifts. Maria goes into the corner but ducks a blind charge and they run into each other. Michelle tags Maryse and Maria tags Melina. Melina goes off on Maryse with more hair pulling. Melina with a double kick into a Senton Bomb. Maryse has a front facelock, but when Maryse goes for a tag Michelle won’t offer her hand. Melina rolls Maryse up for the 3 count. WINNERS: Maria & Melina (Grade: 1.5)

-Maryse goes out to confront Michelle and they start fighting. They fight into the ring and are broken up. We then go backstage as Edge is talking to Chavo. He’s stunned that Vickie both cheated on him and put John Cena in the World Title match at Wrestlemania. Chavo tries to console Edge but Edge grabs Chavo by the throat and tells him there’s a conspiracy going on and that he will not be played. We then get another Wrestlemania moment, and its 2004 at Madison Square Garden for Wrestlemania XX, one that I had the pleasure of being at.

Money in the Bank qualifying match: Finlay vs. The Brian Kendrick

One more spot to fill. The other 7 are: CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Mark Henry, Kane, Christian and Kofi Kingston. Ezekiel Jackson cheap shots Finlay before the bell but it doesn’t matter and Finlay slams Kendrick to start. Some forearms and an armbar. Kendrick gets out of the ring, then comes back in and smacks Finlay in the face. Kendrick leaves the ring and Finlay chases him. He walks right into Zeke, who tosses the Shillelagh out of Finlay’s reach. Finlay jaws with Zeke when Kendrick comes out of nowhere and planchas right on top of him. Both back in the ring and Kendrick with a missile drop kick for 2. Kendrick with a reverse chin lock. Finlay actually gets out of it with a Stunner, but Kendrick with another drop kick. Kendrick misses a running elbow, then Finlay cracks him in the head. Kendrick goes for a baseball slide and Finlay does the ol’ slide into the apron trick. Finlay with clotheslines, but as he goes to the ropes Zeke distracts him and Kendrick with a running kick. Kendrick goes for the Kendrick, but Finlay reverses it into the Celtic Cross and it’s over. WINNER: Finlay (Grade: 2)

-We return from break with a trailer for 12 rounds. JR and Tazz go over the card for Wrestlemania XXV so far.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge © vs. Big Show vs. John Cena
WWE Championship: Triple H © vs. Randy Orton
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Money in the Bank Ladder match: CM Punk vs. US Champion Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Finlay
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
25-Diva Battle Royal

Undertaker vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Taker with a quick boot to the face, and starts striking quick. Kozlov’s whipped into the corner and is met with a clothesline and 2 elbows for 2. Kozlov opens the ropes and Taker falls through them on a charge. Kozlov slams Taker’s face into the announce table. Then Kozlov does the Al Snow headbutts and Taker is tossed outside. Kozlov follows and throws some right hands. Kozlov with a whip but Taker reverses it and Kozlov goes into the security wall. Taker clotheslines Kozlov over the barricade into the crowd. Taker walks away as we go to break. We return and Taker hits his apron leg drop. Both are back in the ring and Taker with a knee to the gut. More strikes, but the ref backs Taker up and Kozlov gets a shot in but to no effect. Taker whips Kozlov into the ropes but Kozlov ducks the clothesline and hits a surprise power slam (the move he beat Taker with 2 weeks ago) for 2. Kozlov takes over with strikes and chokes. Taker reverses with his own strikes as this match is very physical and stiff. Kozlov with a single leg takedown and more punches. Kozlov goes to a headlock. Taker punches out of it and keeps swinging. Kozlov with a clothesline for 2. Back to the headlock on Taker. Taker with a suplex gets out of the headlock. Kozlov with right hands but Taker returns them. Taker whips Kozlov into the corner and hits his splash. Taker drops Kozlov on the top turnbuckle but Kozlov with a battering ram out of nowhere for 2. Taker sits up and throws more bombs and a vicious clothesline. Taker goes old school and hits the clothesline. Deadman sets up for a chokeslam, and drops it. The crowd is insane as Kozlov walks right into a Tombstone and the Russian is done. WINNER: Undertaker (Grade: 3)

-Deadman goes through his mannerisms and we’re done. See you next week for the 500th episode of Smackdown.

FINAL GRADE: B

MVP: Finlay
Runner Up: Undertaker
Non MVP: Colon Brothers
Runner Up: Maryse