Bigelow’s Raw Report 9/7/09
Monday Night Raw 9/7/09
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
– We open the show inside the arena where the Fink welcomes us to the Price…is Raw! He introduces Bob Barker and the Price is Right theme fires up as Bob heads out to the ramp to a mega ovation. He even has the classic microphone, which is an awesome touch. He wishes he had a refrigerator for all of us. The crowd won’t stop as they just overpower him with cheering. He says we are really going to party tonight as the camera pans back and we see a Price is Right contestants set below the stage. Tonight he has the job of playing a pricing game for us and he needs contestants for that. Bob asks the Fink to get him four contestants and he brings down Santino Marella first. Santino comes charging through the crowd, tripping over the barricade. Jillian Hall, Irwin R. Schyster and Chris Jericho are the other three and they all emerge from the crowd, except Jericho, who angrily stews out from backstage. Bob says he is taking his time so he can get more camera time. The Fink lets us know that they are bidding on the new Best of Smackdown DVD, which is modeled by Rosa. Bob lays down the ground rules and kicks off the bidding with Santino. Santino is marking out big time and asks to buy a vowel. Bob says he has been slammed too many times because that is the wrong show. Barker is so damn smooth out there. Santino bids $1,465 and Bob is incredulous. Jillian says she prepared a song for Bob and she sings “I Will Always Love You” but Bob quickly cuts her off. Bob says he is tone deaf and asks her to sing her bid. And Jillian sings $75. IRS is up next and he asks of the bid includes taxes. Bob doesn’t want to think about taxes, but IRS disagrees with that. This is beyond awesome. IRS bids $50, including taxes. Jericho is up next and Bob calls him “happy boy” and asks him if he is awake. Jericho has his name tag stuck to his bare chest, which is all sorts of tremendous. Jericho leaves the set and walks up onto the stage and gets in Barker’s face. Bob eggs him on a bit and starts cutting him off mid sentence. Bob says Jericho is being naughty and Jericho is not happy. He calls Bob “old man” and says that nobody calls him “Chris” and he should be shown respect. Bob says he is respectfully asking for a bid. Jericho wants to be called “Mr. Jericho” and be pandered to because he is the best in the world. Bob no selling his claims is great. Jericho starts to say he is “one half of the Tag champs” but Bob cuts him off and says $1 is his bid. Bob shoos Jericho off, getting in some more jabs. Bob reveals that the price is $18.90, meaning Jericho is the winner. Jericho wins the DVD and gets to head to the ring to earn a chance to win a trip to Hawaii. The prize is presented by the Bella Twins as Fink runs down the specs of the trip. Bob tells Chris that a victory here will earn him the trip. And his opponent is…MVP! This crowd is rocking right now too as MVP jogs down to the ring.
1) Chris Jericho vs. MVP
MVP takes down Jericho off the bell and they battle on the mat a bit. Jericho puts MVP down with a shoulderblock but MVP bounces back with a big clothesline. He slugs away at Chris in the corner but gets backdropped to the apron. MVP lands on his feet and he and Jericho trade some blows. Jericho steps back and dives, but MVP yanks down the top rope and he crashes to the floor. Jericho is down as we hit our first break. When we return, Jericho has MVP locked in a modified cobra clutch. MVP breaks the hold and charges with a boot, but Jericho dodges him and he flies to the floor. Jericho follows him out and works him over before tossing MVP back in the ring. He kicks and slaps MVP around a bit until MVP fires back at him. Jericho reverses a whip and sends MVP into the corner. Jericho drops an elbow and then stomps away. MVP kicks him in the head but Jericho boots him back down. Jericho pulls MVP up and goes for a bodyslam but Jericho rolls through with an inside cradle for two. Jericho clubs MVP down and gets a near fall. Jericho hooks a chinlock as the crowd starts to rally MVP. MVP fights free and gets a roll up for two. Jericho misses an Enziguri and MVP drills him with a pair of clotheslines. Jericho eats a back elbow but ducks an MVP leap from the middle rope. MVP clotheslines Jericho for two. MVP puts his head down on a whip and gets caught with a boot to the face. Jericho drops him with a bulldog but misses the Lionsault. MVP plants him with a double thrust and a jaw buster. Jericho blocks the Ballin elbow and hooks the Walls in the center of the ring. MVP fights valiantly and is able to reverse the hold into a small package for an awesome near fall. He follows with a big boot to the face and gets two again. MVP sets up the Playmaker but Jericho blocks it and whips him into the corner. MVP blocks the Codebreaker and hits a jackknife pin for the win. And Jericho will not be going to Hawaii! I can’t believe we don’t get the losers horn there. That was a good TV match with a fantastic finish. The crowd is really behind MVP here. MVP d. Jericho after blocking the Codebreaker; Grade: 2.5
– MVP celebrates a bit as we head to the announce table. Cole and Lawler send us back to last week for a recap of the goings on between Dusty Rhodes, Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes and John Cena. Cena will take on Rhodes here tonight. And we head off to break.
– And we are back and checking out downtown Chicago. Backstage, Kelly not so subtly sets up Bob to explain what his Foundation is all about. All the proceeds from his book will go there. DX pops in now and they gush over Bob, specifically his role in Happy Gilmore. Shawn asks how they can get DiBiase and Rhodes spayed and neutered. He says they will get their hands on Rhodes & DiBiase Sunday, but they can blow off some steam on the big wheel. They head over to a little wheel. They will hit the button and that will randomly generate an opponent for both men. Shawn complains and rants about the concept until Bob shuts him up and tells him to spin. Shawn spins and he draws Chris Masters. Hunter rags on his hair plugs and says it is a bad spin. Hunter spins and he draws…Randy Orton! DX thanks Bob and Hunter says they will be back for the Showcase Showdown as we hit a break.
– We are back and our Castrol Slam of the Week takes us back to last week when Hornswoggle defeated Chavo Guerrero once again. We then head back to the arena for our next match. Chavo is in the ring and Bob tells Chavo that if he wins this match, he will win a brand new Corvette. Chavo is freaking out as the Bellas model the car for us.
2) Chavo Guerrero vs. Evan Bourne
And for the first time in a while, Chavo has a new opponent as he will have to beat Evan Bourne to win the car. They lock up off the bell and Chavo takes control early. He tosses Bourne around and then stomps away. Chavo lays Bourne across the top rope and boots him hard in the gut for two. Chavo hooks an abdominal stretch as Lawler talks about the days that he owned a red Corvette. Bourne works free and gets a near fall but Chavo punts him back down. King says he won his Corvette in a match as well. Bourne kicks his way back into things and then takes Chavo over with a headscissors. Bourne charges and chops Chavo down and then follows with a leg lariat off the middle rope. Chavo fights Bourne off with some boots to the face. He heads up top but Bourne nails him with a kneelift. Bourne follows him up and goes for a huracarrana, but Chavo ducks away and Bourne lands square on the top rope before bouncing to the mat. Chavo gets two and then takes Bourne for a ride with the Three Amigos. Chavo heads up top but Hornswoggle comes in and squirts him with a super soaker. Chavo hops down and corners Horny. Bourne sneaks up from behind and rolls Chavo up for the win. No car for Chavito, sadly. That was a good match until the weak finish. Bourne d. Guerrero with a roll up; Grade: 1.5
– Over at ringside, Cole and Lawler thank Lynyrd Skynyrd for the Breaking Point theme song. Backstage, John Cena is walking and we are heading to break.
– The Final Fantasy Rewind takes us back to the finish of last week’s Raw when Dusty Rhodes turned on John Cena but then took an RKO from Randy Orton. Back in the arena, we have a group of Chicago White Sox players in the crowd, having a good time. They all have Price is Right nametags on, which is a cool touch. Oh, and they beat he Red Sox today, so woot woot for them!
3) Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena
Cody is out first and he has a mic. He says he is a part of Legacy but that he doesn’t agree with what Orton did to his Dad. But, what is eluding everyone but him is that Dusty didn’t make him a main eventer, Randy Orton did. He can lie and say that Dusty was a neglectful and poor father, but the truth is that Dusty was and is an excellent father. When Shawn and Triple submit this Sunday, we will see that Cody made the right choice in picking career over family last week. And he will also make Cena tap out here as a favor to Orton. There is nothing he won’t do for his career. And that brings out John Cena, who emerges to an ear splitting pop. The bell sounds and Cody and Cena circle each other a bit before locking up. Cody grabs a side headlock but Cena hoists him for the AA. Cody slips loose but Cena tosses him across the ring. Cody bails to the floor as we go to break. When we return, Cena is picking up a near fall on Cody. Cena hammers away and then plants Cody with a facebuster for two. Cena sends Cody over with a backdrop and Cody hits the floor again. Cena comes out after him but Cody is able to send him face first into the announce table. He tosses Cena back inside and kicks away at him. I like Cody’s quick paced offense. Cody pulls Cena up but Cena takes him over with a belly to belly suplex. Cody recovers and hits a clothesline for two. He slugs away at Cena in the corner and then rolls through and takes Cena down by his leg. Cena pops up and takes Cody down with a drop toehold. Cody rolls free and drills Cena with a back elbow. He takes Cena down with a Russian legsweep and gets a near fall. Cody keeps the assault on and then hooks an interesting modified camel clutch as he tries to force Cena into submission. Cena powers out of the hold and hammers on Cody. Cena gets whipped into the corner and then Cody takes him down with a Fujiwara armbar. Rhodes really ramps it up until Cena is able to power to his feet. Cody goes for a dropkick but Cena avoids it. Cena takes Cody down and heads up top. Cody struggles to his feet but is able to avoid Cena’s legdrop. Cody tries to lock in a figure four, but Cena blocks it and turns him into the STF. Before Rhodes can tap, Orton charges in to draw the DQ. That was a bitching match before the weak, albeit necessary finish. Cena d. Rhodes by disqualification; Grade: 2.5
– Orton quickly bails and Cody nails Cena from behind. Cena fends him off and takes Cody over with the AA. He stares down Orton as Lillian announces Cena as the winner. The stare down continues as we head to break.
– Next week, Batista will be on hand to make a “career altering” announcement. Back live, the Fink once again brings out Barker. IRS, Jillian and Santino are still in contestant’s row. Fink brings out our new player…AJ Pierzynski! AJ is pretty pumped up as he charges over to contestant’s row. The crowd is either loaded with Cubs fans or disgruntled White Sox fans because AJ is being booed soundly. Bob asks if they are Cubs fans, but they boo that too, so we figure it out. AJ shows off his World Series ring and confirms his wrestling and Price is Right fandom. Fink outlines our next prize to bid on…a Wrestlemania XXVI travel package! AJ bids $1,000, IRS bids $2,000, Jillian bids $5,000 and Santino bids $1,200. Bob can’t understand Santino, leading to a funny back and forth. Santino wins as the price is $1,247. Santino comes flying up the ramp and freaks out. He paces a bit as Bob tells him the next prize he can win…a new hot tub! The Bellas show this prize off quite nicely I must say. Santino wants to know if the Bellas come with the hot tub and Bob says that is a no. Bob says Santino must compete in a bodyslam contest to win the hot tub. Santino is excited because he really wants to win the hot tub. But it looks unlikely because his opponent is the Big Show.
4) Santino Marella vs. Big Show in a bodyslam contest
Show hits the ring and they stare down. Santino tries to slam Show, but he can’t do it. Show swats him off and he slams Santino for the easy win. Show d. Marella with a bodyslam; Grade: 0
– We finally get the loser’s horn. Bob doesn’t hear it and gets confused so we get some awkward back and forth as Bob waits to see the ref raise Show’s hand. He finally sees it and calls the match a loss for Santino. Bob says we have another bodyslam contest and out comes Mark Henry. Henry will battle Show it seems. Henry hits the ring and we go to break.
5) Big Show vs. Mark Henry in a bodyslam contest
When we return, Henry is in the ring and Show is stalking around it. He climbs inside and we are underway. Show kicks Henry and tries for a slam but Henry blocks it. Henry tries for a slam now, but he can’t get it done. Show clubs on Henry, working the back. Show tries for another slam but gets nowhere. They trade some blows and slam attempts, but neither man is really budging. Henry falls onto Show on a slam attempt and then goes for one of his own, but Show counters it. Show eats a boot on a charge but he drills Henry with a back elbow. They trade some more blows until Henry finally and impressively slams Show. Henry d. Show with a bodyslam; Grade: .5
– MVP comes out and celebrates with Henry and they are rolling into Breaking Point. Backstage, Josh Matthews is with Barker. They chat about Bob’s career and his book a bit. He tells a story about the most memorable PIR moment, a lady popping out of her tube top. They chat some more as we take a break.
– We are back and discovering that Trish Stratus will be hosting next week’s Raw, live from Toronto. Back in the arena, Cole and King are in the ring and running down the Breaking Point card. Backstage, Bob is reading his book when Chavo comes in and cries about losing out on the car. Bob tells him to calm down but Chavo isn’t leaving without his car. Chavo challenges Bob’s toughness and Bob gets up and punches him in the gut and then chops him down. The price is wrong, bitch! He says he is having a great time tonight and reminds us to help control the pet population. Elsewhere, Orton and Masters are chatting as we head to break.
– When we return, we get another plug for Barker’s book and King thanks him for hosting tonight. And with that, it is main event time!
6) Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. Chris Masters & Randy Orton
DX is out first and they get a huge pop from the raucous crowd. They do their thing and eat some time until the Masterpiece makes his entrance. Oh, and let’s get ready to suck it…and if you aren’t down with sucking it…suck it! He stalks to the ring and I think his hair plugs look quite nice. Orton is out last and he takes his time hitting the ring. Michaels and Masters kick things off and the crowd is still buzzing. Masters clubs on Shawn and then avoids a quick SCM attempt off a whip. He bails to the floor and confers with Orton as we take our final break. When we return, Orton is hammering on Hunter in the corner. Hunter bounces back with a clothesline and tags in Shawn. He mares Orton over and stomps on him. Orton drills him with a right hand between the eyes. Michaels slips out of a slam attempt and hits a swinging neckbreaker. He runs Orton into a Triple H boot and then makes the tag. Hunter tries for a Pedigree, but Orton blocks it and back drops him over. Orton goes for the RKO but Hunter shoves him off and hits a suplex. He drops a knee to the head and gets a near fall. Hunter runs Orton into a Michaels boot and makes the tag. Shawn eats a boot on a charge and Orton tags in Masters. He stomps away on Shawn but Shawn slips off a press slam and lands some chops. Masters reverses a whip and sends Michaels careening into the corner. He crushes Shawn with a nice backbreaker and then hammers on Shawn’s back. He tags in Orton, who buries a boot in Shawn’s chest. Orton drops a nice leaping kneedrop and gets two. I always dig Orton’s aggressiveness and precision strikes. He tags Masters back and Chris whips Michaels into the corner hard. Masters tosses Shawn to the floor and Orton takes the chance to drop down and smack Shawn around. Masters tosses Michaels back in and gets two. He kicks away at Shawn and then distracts the ref so Orton can club on Shawn’s chest. Masters tags out and Orton slowly saunters in and glares at Hunter. He turns towards Shawn, who is struggling to his feet. Shawn staggers up but Orton just drills him with a standing dropkick. Orton goes to the chinlock as he wears Shawn down. Michaels fights free and takes Randy down with a flying forearm. The crowd and Hunter are trying to rally Shawn to make a tag but both men are down and out. Orton slowly crawls over and tags in Masters but Michaels pops up and tags in Triple H. Hunter comes in and drills Masters with a high knee and a clothesline. Masters eats the facebreaker but Orton distracts Triple H. Masters sneaks up from behind but Hunter turns and drops him with a spinebuster. Shawn tags in and he heads up top and drops a big elbow on the Masterpiece. He tunes up the band but Orton hops up and distracts Shawn. Hunter comes over and he and Orton battle over the announce table. Masters ducks SCM and hooks the Masterlock on. Michaels starts to fade but Hunter comes in and breaks the hold. Shawn drills Masters with SCM and Hunter knocks down Orton. Shawn locks in a figure four on Masters and Hunter traps Orton in a sharpshooter. Masters taps out and that is that. The match was a big slow, but the finish was strong and the crowd was into the heat segments. Michaels & Triple H d. Masters & Orton when Michaels forces Masters to submit to the figure four; Grade: 2.5
– Legacy heads out and a big brawl erupts. They all brawl towards the back except Orton. He hides behind the entrance way to avoid any part of the brawl. After the coast is clear, he hops back onto the ramp. We cut backstage and Legacy and DX are brawling all over the place. DiBiase and Rhodes finally escape through the back door. Cody grabs a chair as Ted goes to get the car. Cody smashes Shawn with the chair as he comes through the door. He then books in and hops in the car and they drive off as DX tries to stop them from escaping. Back in the ring, Orton has the mic and starts ripping on DX and putting over Legacy. He then turns to Cena and says he will retain the WWE Championship. As he carries on, Cena’s music hits and he comes out onto the ramp. He stares at Orton and then charges to the ring. They start to brawl and end up fighting around ringside. Back in the ring, Orton catches Cena with the hanging DDT and Cena is out cold. Orton goes to ringside and grabs a chair. He slides back inside the ring and sets it up. He pulls Cena up and drops him with an RKO on the open chair. Orton stands over Cena and then proclaims that Cena will say “I Quit” on Sunday. Orton glares at him as we fade out. This was a fun episode tonight, thanks to Barker’s smooth mic work and the Price is Right gimmicks. Everyone worked hard in the ring too and we got some really good matches. Most importantly, we got some really solid PPV build as each match got some time in the spotlight. The brawls to finish the show were solid too. The show dipped a bit as it went on but picked up at the end and it was still a strong effort overall and featured a hot crowd. See you next week in Toronto as we will all get Stratusfied!
Final Grade: B+
MVP: Bob Barker
Runner Up: MVP
Non MVP: Chavo Guerrero
Runner Up: Santino Marella
Posted on September 7, 2009, in Justin Rozzero, WWE and tagged Big Show, Bob Barker, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Chris Masters, Cody Rhodes, Degeneration-X, Evan Bourne, Hornswoggle, Irwin R. Schyster, Jillian Hall, John Cena, Mark Henry, MVP, Randy Orton, Santino Marella, Shawn Michaels, Ted DiBiase Jr., The Legacy, Triple H. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.