Drama’s Smackdown Report

Friday Night Smackdown!
September 4, 2009
Cleveland, Ohio
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

We go back to last week’s cage match, and Jeff Hardy’s farewell. We skip the intro and head right to Cleveland and Jeff Hardy’s music cranks, and out comes Jeff Hardy!!!! The place goes bonkers, and then you realize its…not him. World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk comes out dressed exactly like Jeff Hardy. The place is really pissed off and Punk soaks it up. Punk says the fans were expecting someone else, but really it isn’t. Punk says the Charismatic Enabler is gone and this was an example of how weak these fans all are. Now you have a champion who’s reliable and built to last. This champion won’t fail drug tests or miss shows. This is the choice of a new generation, and he’s the straight edge champion. As for the Undertaker, he’s not what he used to be. Punk is the only back-to-back MITB winner, and if Undertaker wants to test his breaking point, go right ahead. Punk waits, but he says meeting him face to face isn’t in Taker’s best interests. These fans are all smoking the “funny stuff” at home falling for the Undertakers tricks. Well unlike the fans, Punk’s head is clear and strong, not clouded with crutches and vices. Here on Smackdown there’s no tricks. At Breaking Point there will be two competitors face to face, but Punk says he has no breaking point. He’s never fallen for peer pressure, and all the vices these fans have fallen for are the ones he’s resisted. Suddenly Hardy comes out, but of course it’s the Hardy still with a job, and that’s Matt Hardy. The place goes crazy and Matt hits the ring and starts beating Punk down, they roll around for a while and referees come to break it up. This is a big chance for Matt Hardy to really prove to management that he can maybe take that next step.

-JR reminds us the DEADMAN returns tonight.

-We return and the guys tell us that tonight Rey Mysterio will defend his Intercontinental Championship tonight against John Morrison. Backstage Punk is pissed that Matt attacked him in the ring and he asks Teddy Long what to do about it. So obviously Teddy makes a match for tonight, non-title. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk

Great Khali & Finlay vs. Mike Knox & Kane

We go back to last week when Kane beat up Rey then Khali attacked him with a Singapore cane. The guys announce that at Breaking Point Kane will face Great Khali in a Singapore Cane match. That should be….ugly. Speaking of ugly, this tag match will probably be pretty ugly too. Not in a “one star clusterfuck” ugly, but more of a “4 guys who club the crap out of you” ugly. Khali must be at the end of his line as a performer if he’s getting all these PPV matches. The match is ok, typical tv match where everybody gets their shots in and of course Kane and Khali don’t interact much. The crowd’s a little flat, I think because the swerve CM Punk threw at them in the open kind of deflated them. I still like Mike Knox as a big bruising hulk who suddenly is starting to talk like Mankind ala 1996. While Kane and Khali brawl outside, Finlay knocks Knox out with the shillelagh, and with blood coming out of his mouth, Finlay and Khali get the win. WINNERS: Great Khali & Finlay (Grade: 2)

-Backstage Teddy’s watching the WCW DVD when Vince McMahon comes in. They talk about the DVD, then Vince talks about last week and compliments Teddy for it. They go over each other’s suits, as Vince is wearing a pink jacket, and compares it to Pepto-Bismol. Funny stuff.

-Back from break and Maria is chatting with Eve when Michelle McCool comes out. She and Maria run each other down, then Melina comes in and Michelle begs off. Melina asks Maria if she’s talked to Dolph Ziggler and Maria in essence tells Melina to piss off.

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio © vs. John Morrison

Now we obviously know why this match is happening, and what the result is going to be. The WWE is pissed that Rey Mysterio failed a wellness test, then bitched about it in a Spanish-speaking interview with an outside source. Rey is pissed that WWE didn’t follow protocol and suspended him much sooner than they were supposed to. I wonder what will happen over the coming month while Rey is off camera. Will he quit? He could go to one of the Mexican promotions, work there for much less and I believe could book or actually own a piece of it. I don’t think he’d go to TNA, but then again he could be spiteful. I don’t think going there would help his career any. Of course I’m getting way ahead of myself, and Rey will probably stew, the WWE management will probably stew, and then when Rey comes back everything will be fine. To Rey’s credit, and probably because Morrison is a solid guy backstage and in the ring, Rey put on a good match and didn’t dog it. Dolph Ziggler is watching backstage, scoping out the competition. In fact Rey seemed to be wanting to prove that he’s a good employee and going all out. Morrison, clearly running on all cylinders since turning face, is going right along with it. The match is building more and more, in fact it seemed to have passed simple TV title match and is transcending into a match that could have been on PPV. The crowd has woken up big time and the last 5 or 6 minutes were frenetic. Even if the crowd reads the internet and read the rumors, they’re clearly not sure what’s going to happen here. Morrison hits Starship Pain, and we have a new champion. Good job by Rey to put on an outstanding match, if it is possibly his last one in WWE. WINNER, and NEW Intercontinental Champion: John Morrison (Grade: 4.5)

-Back from break and R-Truth comes out I would think be in a match, but Drew McIntyre comes out and jumps him from behind. McIntyre takes the mike and says last week he was overlooked. Tonight he has a match and McIntyre isn’t on the show. He says every week he’ll come out and ruin everyone’s parties until he gets the credit he deserves.

Maria & Eve Torres vs. Layla & Natalya

Why do they insist on putting Maria in these matches? She’s clearly not in the same class as the other 3 in the ring. Maria’s dancing around the ring and nobody gives a crap. I think most fans think like I do: She’s good for DVD’s and backstage skits, but that’s pretty much it. The match is typical for a tag match, and Eve Torres pins Layla for the win. WINNERS: Maria & Eve Torres (Grade: 2)

-Josh Matthews is backstage with Matt Hardy, who says CM Punk is pre-occupied with Undertaker, but Matt says he’s doesn’t want Punk’s title, or soul. He wants his livelihood, what Punk took away from his brother Jeff.

-Thanks to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Still Unbroken”, the official song of Breaking Point.

World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Again, this is Matt Hardy’s chance to really become a player, a main eventer. With his brother gone, and the sympathy of the fans on his side, he’s got all the tools. It’s a pretty good match, with Punk dictating the tempo and Matt selling well. We’ll see how long the residual effects of Jeff Hardy leaving will last, but I guess if Punk keeps mentioning it and taunting the fans it will still keep working in Matt’s favor. Punk focused on Matt’s abdominal area, a spot he legitimately injured some time ago and Punk is completely focusing on it. Oh, and when did a small package turn into an inside cradle? Even old school JR calls it an inside cradle. Eventually Punk crushes Matt with two chair shots outside, but there was no bell ringing so I don’t know if a DQ happened or not. Eventually the gong goes off, and the lights go out. The lights come up and Undertaker is standing in front of Punk. He lifts Punk up and chokeslams him on the announce table. Taker raises his fist and the fire burns on the ramp. With that we’re out. WINNER: Matt Hardy by disqualification (Grade: 2)

FINAL GRADE: A-