WWE: Night of Champions
September 21, 2014
Nashville, TN
Bridgestone Arena

The current WWE champs are as follows:
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar (8/17/2014)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Dolph Ziggler (8/17/2014)
WWE U.S. Champion: Sheamus (5/5/2014)
WWE Divas Champion: Paige (8/17/2014)
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Usos (3/3/2014)

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and JBL.

• WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos vs. Goldust & Stardust
  

Something that I don’t think was mentioned: these are two brother teams. Usos have been tweeting “Oldust” this past week. COMEDY GOLD, to somebody on Twitter I’m sure. The Usos control to start whooping on the Dust brothers. Jey gets made into Uso in peril for a few moments. Jimmy gets the hot tag and nearly botches a leap onto the barricade to run and take out Stardust. Goldust makes him pay with a snap powerslam on the floor. Back inside, the Dust brothers keep Jimmy on their side of the ring with chinlocks and headlocks. He tries coming back with a Samoan drop, but Stardust slips off Jimmy’s shoulders and delivers a swinging neckbreaker for two. When Jimmy escapes another chinlock, Stardust drops down on his back and kicks Jimmy away. He misses a corner charge though, but Goldust still manages to cut off the tag. Goldust ducks one enziguri, but eats the second one! HOT TAG TO JEY! He gets a little payback trying to tear up Jey’s knee. Meanwhile, Jimmy planchas onto Goldust. Back in, Jey delivers a flying bodypress for 1-2-NO! Buttalanches and superkicks follow on the challengers. Stardust comes up behind Jey and hits DARK MATTER for 1-2-NO! Stardust then ties up Jey in the ropes and goes to charge him, but nails Jimmy when he’s trying to save his brother. Jey schoolboys Stardust for 1-2-NO! Back to the floor, Goldust cannonballs off the apron onto Jimmy while Jey catches Stardust with a plancha. Back in the ring, Stardust brings up the knees to block a Samoan Splash and schoolboys up Jey for the 1-2-3 and the tag titles. (12:47) Did the Dust brothers find the cosmic key to unlock their destiny? Apparently. A step down from the Wyatt family series as I felt they earned it more than these two. Just never understood why they didn’t pull the trigger on Harper and Rowan. **½

• WWE U.S. Champion Sheamus vs. Cesaro
  

When did Cesaro turn into a much taller Taz wearing a black towel over his head? Some real feeling out wrestling stuff to start. Cesaro slaps Sheamus one good time and then Sheamus fires back on him with body blows and a NASTY short-arm clothesline. Cesaro returns the favor, but Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for two. Cesaro avoids the forearm blows on the apron and delivers a flying double sledge. They go on the floor and exchange elbows. Back inside, Sheamus gives Cesaro the slingshot shoulderblock for two. Up in the corner, Cesaro knocks Sheamus to the floor with a European uppercut. Back in, Cesaro punishes Sheamus with a Sleeperhold. When Sheamus goes to counter, Cesaro drops him with a back suplex. Sheamus shuts down Cesaro with Polish hammers, but Cesaro cuts him off with a stiff clothesline. Cesaro delivers a pair of running European uppercuts in the corner. Irish Curse backbreaker after Irish Curse backbreaker stops Cesaro for two. He looks for the forearm blows on the apron, but Cesaro grabs one of his arms and forearm smashes him back. With Sheamus staggered, Cesaro this him with a running boot! Sheamus flips Cesaro off the top rope though for two. Cesaro avoids White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick to hit the Very European Uppercut for 1-2-NO! Sheamus prevents the Tiger Driver from happening and delivers a knee lift and a running powerslam for 1-2-NO! Brogue Kick fails again as Cesaro sneaks in a schoolboy for 1-2-NO! Cesaro quickly lands a Scott Steiner-style butterfly slam for another nearfall! Neutralizers and Brogue Kicks are tried again, but Cesaro catches Sheamus charging and hoists him up on his shoulders for the Swissblade for 1-2-NO! These two start channeling FIGHTING SPIRIT as Sheamus shoves away Cesaro and his slaps and calls out for more! Cesaro hits him with a running boot in the corner. When the ref pulls Cesaro back, Sheamus seizes the moment and FINALLY lands the BROGUE KICK before collapsing on top of Cesaro for the win. (13:07) This would have fit just fine on a New Japan show. Awesome stuff. ****

Backstage, Big Show tries to hype up Mark Henry and gives him some USA gear for tonight’s match with Rusev.

• WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/R-Ziggler) vs. The Miz (w/Damien Mizdow)
  

Two douchebags from Florida Georgia Line come out and put on headsets because three glad-handed, nonsensical, douchebag yes men that will do whatever Vince McMahon tells them to isn’t enough. To give them a reason to be here, they will be appearing at the “Tribute to the Troops” show. Isn’t that like Christmas week? Why are they talking about this now? In typical WWE fashion, they take something that should have been a short-lived gag and drill it into the ground until it’s not funny anymore with the stunt doubles. If Sandow doesn’t get an IC title win out of this, I have ZERO faith in WWE creative. They run the ropes a bunch to start. Ziggler sends Miz to the apron after a whole bunch of elbow drops. Back in, Miz shoves away that jumping DDT and boots down Ziggler. He follows up with a bunch of generic punch/kick heel stuff. Ziggler stops the Miz corner clothesline and mounts his comeback. Famouser is blocked, but Ziggler maintains control with a sunset flip for two. To the floor we go, this is where Mizdow gets involved and trips up Ziggler on the apron. R-Ziggler confronts Mizdow, but gets shooed away. Next thing we know, Mizdow is getting in the face of these two FGL guys. They stand up and OFF COMES THE HEADSETS. Together, they shove down Mizdow. Truth then chases a frazzled Mizdow backstage so that the match can continue. Miz eats a superkick for two. Impact finisher attempts are traded, but Miz settles for the FIGURE-FOUR. WOO! Ziggler reaches the ropes and finally hits the Famouser for 1-2-NO! Just as it looks like curtains for Ziggler, Mizdow returns only to take a superkick off the apron. With Ziggler trying to place his footing, Miz schoolboys him to regain the IC title with a HUGE handful of tights. (9:23) Nobody shows more disdain and heartbreak for “pulling the tights” on commentary than Jim Ross. Cole just sounds like a child to me. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw to be honest. **

• Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
  

So yeah, Roman Reigns has suffered a hernia and will not appear. Seth Rollins demands that the ref start the ten count and then award him the match via forfeit. Since Rollins is so disappointed he didn’t get to compete tonight, he sends out an open challenge to ANYBODY in the back. Well, Dean F’N Ambrose conveniently shows up in a taxi cab (I’m sure he was just watching the PPV in a bar across the street, right?) and returns to WWE to beat the snot out of Rollins all over the arena one more time. The crowd goes nuts for all of this because the rise of a superstar that is more organic than Roman Reigns is around. The Authority come out to try and stop it because they can’t have their boy Rollins fighting Ambrose. This is part of my problem with heel authority figures being a constant part of wrestling. There’s no one to say, “YES, THEY WILL WRESTLE.”

• Mark Henry vs. Rusev (w/Lana)
  

Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem and makes Mark Henry cry for all the USA marks out there. How can there possibly be that many of you left? Henry POTATOES Rusev to start and sends him rolling. He wins a few more fisticuffs battles as well – keeping Rusev on the floor. Eventually, Henry heads out to meet him, which gets him shoved back into the steps. Back inside, Rusev delivers a pair of buttalanches and drops some headbutts on poor Henry. After Henry spends some time in a chinlock, he comes up fighting with clotheslines and avalanches. He tries to pick up Rusev for the World’s Strongest Slam, but his back still hurts from that push into the steps. Spinning leg lariat sets up Henry for the Accolade, but Henry stands up and hits the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM out of nowhere! Oh, but his back is too sore to capitalize on the pin. Rusev rolls to the floor and connects with a few kicks on Henry before finally grabbing the ACCOLADE for the tapout. (8:22) Bro, when you tack on mass, you sacrifice flexibility. That’s just a straight up fact. Mark Henry might be the world’s strongest man, but he can’t survive the stretch of a camel clutch from a guy like Rusev. It’s just not going to happen. Anyways, a step down from the Swagger matches as I assumed it would be. So Rusev continues on. Will Super Cena stop him at WrestleMania? Only time will tell. JBL puts down Henry for being another American for losing to Rusev. Maybe JBL will come out of retirement since he thinks it’s so dang important to beat Rusev. *½

• Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
  

Orton beats down Jericho in the corner to start, but then Jericho takes it to the floor for some ringside violence. Back inside, Orton beats Jericho in the corner some more and hits a superplex for two. Ode to Cowboy Bob as it were. It’s VINTAGE ORTON chinlock time! Jericho fights out, but takes a nasty spiel to the floor. Orton gives Jericho that backbreaker using the barricade. When that doesn’t score the pinfall, Orton one-ups the crazy with a backbreaker on the announce table. Oh how nice, Orton handed JBL his hat first. That still doesn’t get the pinfall for Orton. Back to the chinlock. Jericho mounts a little comeback, but Orton shuts him down with the snap powerslam. Jericho avoids a knee drop and lowers the boom on Orton. COME ON BABY! Face slam connects, and the Lionsault is a no-go when Orton gets to his feet. Jericho stumbles back into the over the back neckbreaker. Whatever that move is called. RKO is shoved away and Jericho lands the LIONSAULT for 1-2-NO! Orton catches Jericho for the Draping DDT, but Jericho counters to the WALLS OF JERICHO. Orton flips him away and runs Jericho into the post. Time for the PUNT. Jericho moves and schoolboys Orton for 1-2-NO! WALLS OF JERICHO! When Orton draws close to the ropes, Jericho pulls him back to the center of the ring. Now Orton manages to slip out of the hold and kicks Jericho to the floor. Back on the apron, Orton hits the Draping DDT. He sets up for the RKO, but Jericho pops up and delivers the CODEBREAKER for 1-2-NO! Jericho heads up top and wants Orton to stand up. Once he’s vertical, Jericho leaps and flies down into the RKO. Cover, 1-2-3. (16:20) You could see the finish coming there, but still cool. Certainly a strong end to Jericho’s recent WWE run. ***½

In the back, that super white black guy talks to Brie Bella. She says Nikki will be insufferable if she wins tonight. She also drops the “B” word again. Potty mouth!

• WWE Divas Champion Paige vs. AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
  

Lots of Nikki trading off with Paige and AJ to start amongst a CM Punk chant. YES. AJ dumps Paige into the barricade and then dumps Nikki into the barricade so she can have Paige all to herself. AJ hits the spinning heel kick and heads up top only for Nikki to shove her down. Paige throws Nikki out so she can hug AJ. When Paige is shoved away, she kicks AJ in the gut starts giving her headbutts. After a series of knees on the apron, Nikki shoves Paige to the floor. However, she’s rolled up by AJ for two. Nikki delivers a facebuster and starts slamming AJ around, but AJ quickly counters to the BLACK WIDOW. Paige saves the day and superkicks Nikki down for two. Over to the corner for the big spot, we see a TOWER OF DOOM as AJ takes the worst of it all. Nobody can capitalize though. Nikki hits Paige with the RACK ATTACK, but AJ breaks up the pin. They fight over to the apron where AJ flips Nikki down to the floor for a kidney bursting bump. Back in the ring, AJ applies the BLACK WIDOW and grapevines the leg (Gorilla would be proud) to get the tapout to regain the title. (8:42) Kudos to AJ. I didn’t see her regaining the championship so soon. All I can say is that I’m glad it wasn’t Nikki. Ugh. It’s enough already. **

• WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) vs. John Cena
  

If Cena wins tonight, he will tie Ric Flair’s 16 world title reigns. As a world title mark, that would SADDEN ME DEEPLY. It’s inevitable, I suppose. Using a page out of Lesnar’s playbook, Cena tries to cool down the champ with an early Attitude Adjustment. BUT ONLY GETS ONE! Cena jumps on Lesnar only to be put in the Kimura Lock. Cena finds the ropes, but now Lesnar is in charge. He puts the boots to Cena and delivers a release German suplex. Cena runs at Brock only to be put back in the Kimura Lock. He finds the ropes again, but Lesnar levels him with another release German suplex. Lesnar hits the Three Amigos for two. Cena finds a way to come at Brock with another barrage of punches, but Lesnar puts him down again and delivers an overhead belly to belly suplex. Rinse, wash, repeat. Cena seizes the moment to hit another AA and barely gets a two-count this time. The STF and the Kimura Lock are exchanged. Cena picks up Lesnar out of the Kimura Lock and backs into the corner a bunch of times. I call bullcrap on that counter, but whatever. Another AA is followed by the STF. When Lesnar is hurting for certain, Cena hits a FOURTH AA. Cover, 1-2-NO! Seth Rollins appears and nails Cena with the MITB briefcase for the cheap DQ. (14:09) Rollins tosses out Cena and gives Lesnar the CURB STOMP. Of course, now he wants to cash in the briefcase, but Cena attacks him before the bell has rung to negate the decision. No Dean Ambrose. As Rollins slips away, Cena receives the first F-5 of the night as Lesnar stands tall to end the show. You can complain about the finish all you want, you know it’s all leading to Hell in a Cell. Very similar match to the one we got at SummerSlam and it’s not a bad story to retell because it’s logical. The biggest difference here was Lesnar trying to use more of his MMA stuff instead of relying on the F-5 to win. ***

Final Thoughts: Pretty entertaining show. Of course, it didn’t reach to levels it could have as I got the feeling they didn’t want to pull the triggers on some things here tonight. I’m assuming they didn’t wanted the PPV buyers to say, “Well, it wasn’t worth $55, but yeah I’ll pay $9.99 for it.” That was the vibe I got anyways. At one point, Cole even mentioned passive aggressively how much a PPV cost from purchasing from your cable provider when you could be paying $45 less by just getting the WWE Network. Ahh, corporate America. They love taking something we all love and cherish on the surface and then manipulate it in such a way that we soon grow to hate it. Anyways, slight thumbs up for Night of Champions 2014. It’s not a great show, but it’s a fine way to spend an evening. Turn your brain off first though.