Born to Controversy: The Roddy Piper Story (DISC THREE)

roddy_piper_btc

Born to Controversy: The Roddy Piper Story
Disc Three
Released: November 14, 2006

And the final disc.

THE PIT:

Piper’s Pit with guest Robert Debord – (WWF Championship Wrestling, 1/24/84)

This is the inaugural edition of Piper’s Pit. I have no idea who Robert Debord is or why he is an on-screen presence in the WWF because he’s as dry as they come and seems INCREDIBLY nervous introducing Roddy Piper. He apparently hosted a magazine segment previously, but Roddy tries to make him feel pretty stupid for always sucking up to the babyfaces and asking them softball questions with easy answers. Piper says he refuses to pull any punches and will ask questions Debord will never have the guts to ask. When RP talks, people listen.

Piper’s Pit with guest Andre the Giant – (WWF Championship Wrestling, 3/6/84)

Piper and Andre do their “none of your business” bit. Unwisely, Roddy makes fun of Andre’s lack of intelligence and asks him if Big John Studd ever slammed him. When Andre says no, Piper tells Andre that given the opportunity he could slam him in five minutes or less. Well, Andre stands to his feet and picks up Piper by his t-shirt in an epic moment. After Andre rips Piper’s shirt off and walks away, Piper continues to try and antagonize him. You do not throw rocks at a man that’s got a machine gun.

Piper’s Pit with guest Frank Williams – (WWF Championship Wrestling, 3/27/84)

Piper interviews this ham-and-egger and points out what a loser Frankie is. The guy has never won a match! Roddy calls him a coward and all hell breaks loose. Piper beats him back through the curtain. Just when they think they have all the answers, I change the questions.

Piper’s Pit with guest the Haiti Kid – (WWF Tuesday Night Titans, 3/7/86)

When the Haiti Kid admits to being friends with Mr. T, Piper and Bob Orton Jr. cut his hair to make him look more like Mr. T. Wow, that was pretty dark.

Piper’s Pit with guests Jesse Ventura, Hulk Hogan, and Andre the Giant – (WWF Wrestling Challenge, 2/7/87)

HUGE moment here. Piper and Ventura orchestrate a meeting between Hogan and Andre to get their issues ironed out. Bobby Heenan shows up with Andre for the first time. Hogan can’t believe these two are working together. Andre was the one who taught Hogan all about working out, saying prayers, and eating vitamins. Heenan speaks for Andre saying that Hulk never once gave him a WWF title match. Hulk is so jealous of Andre! When Hogan tries to embrace Andre, Andre tells him to get his hands off his shoulders. Andre then challenges Hulk to a WWF title match at WrestleMania 3. When Hulk pleads for Andre to change his mind, Andre rips the shirt and the crucifix off Hogan’s body. Hogan is in total disbelief as to what is happening as Andre and Heenan leave.

Piper’s Pit with guest Jimmy Snuka – (WWF Tuesday Night Titans, 6/26/84)

Another defining moment for Piper here. Piper hands Snuka the microphone since everybody who comes on the Pit complains that they don’t get a chance to speak. Even though Snuka has the mic, Piper talks the entire time. He makes Snuka look silly by offering him pineapples, bananas, and A COCONUT TO THE BRAIN. Snuka collapses through the Piper’s Pit set totally seeing stars. Piper smashes bananas in his face and kicks him around. He whips Snuka with a belt and calls him “boy”. Once Snuka RAGES up to his feet and charges Piper, Roddy runs out the back door. Snuka has gone completely bananas as some other wrestlers help him out of the building.

Piper’s Pit with guests Mr. T, Hulk Hogan, and Jimmy Snuka – (Madison Square Garden, 3/17/85)

Piper comes to the ring with his bodyguard Bob Orton Jr. Piper loves his bodyguard. Since the WWF couldn’t find anybody who wanted to fight him, Piper says this is what we get instead. Being St. Patrick’s Day, Piper makes fun of Irish people. He makes fun of the New York Yankees too. Instead of giving Mr. T a fine introduction, he gives the fine introduction to his pal Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff instead. Awesome dick move. It gets a little racist as Orndorff does some monkey routines. If you got any guts, come on out Mr. T. He comes out, but so does Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Snuka – who were UNINVITED. It’s all really tense here. Piper puts Mr. T as a tough dude and a big TV star, but gives Mr. T a chance to back out of the fight on March 31. T turns the tables on Piper giving him a chance to back out too. Well, that ain’t happening. While being a great wrestler, Piper is also a great artist. He shows a few pictures Piper painted of what might happen to Mr. T if he shows up to WrestleMania: broken arms, broken legs, full body cast. Mr. T isn’t concerned. Since that doesn’t get under Mr. T’s skin, Piper puts on the Mr. T skull cap. T slaps the Mohawk off Piper’s head, but Piper and his boys duck out and head to the back before the fight gets any worse. Once they leave, T promises revenge is coming on March 31. He may not be the greatest wrestler, but he knows how to hurt a guy.

Piper’s Pit with guests Salvatore Bellomo & Junkyard Dog – (WWF Prime Time Wrestling, 1/22/85)

While Piper and Orton wait on Junkyard Dog to come out here in the Meadowlands, Piper interviews a few people from New Jersey who think New Jersey is just the tops. Instead of JYD, we get Salvatore Bellomo. Piper wasn’t looking for a pizza, brother. Bellomo says that JYD got hurt and he’s out here subbing for JYD. Earlier in the night, JYD wrestled Paul Orndorff and got his head rammed into the ringpost to bust him open. When Bellomo tells Piper that JYD is hurt again, Piper calls him a dumb wop. Bellomo stands up to Piper when Paul Orndorff comes out. Piper, Orton, and Orndorff start to bully Bellomo until JYD runs down to the ring with his head all wrapped up to clean house. It’s PANDEMONIUM.

Piper’s Pit with guest Paul Orndorff – (WWF Tuesday Night Titans, 3/22/85)

The heel side of the WrestleMania main event sit back and laugh at Hulk Hogan and Mr. T trying to train hard enough to fight them. They aren’t a cartoon character who comes out on Saturday afternoons. They are the real thing.

Piper’s Pit with guest Bruno Sammartino – (WWF Prime Time Wrestling, 11/5/85)

Bruno only comes out to the ring when he’s referred to as the Living Legend. What a dick! He also will only be interviewed by Piper if Bob Orton Jr. will leave. Since Piper has nothing to fear, he sends Orton to the back. As the interview gets going, Bruno tells Piper that he was called the living legend because throughout his career, he met a bunch of big mouths and shut them all up. Bruno says he’s lost weight and lost some hair, but he’s in terrific shape. He also says people in Italy don’t wear skirts. Back to the interview. Piper wants to know if Bruno could compete with the Piper of today back in his prime in 1970. Sammartino says he would have squashed Piper like a grape then and he would do it now. Well, Piper calls him a stupid wop and gets shoved a good ten feet away. Bruno gives up on the interview and starts to walk out when Piper wallops him with the chair. Roddy might want to watch his back tonight walking through NYC. Sammartino punches back and chases Piper out of the ring with a chair as Piper walks right into the arm of his bodyguard. He loves his bodyguard.

Piper’s Pit with guest Jimmy Hart – (WWF Superstars, 10/18/86)

Piper is presented with some gifts from Don Muraco and Bob Orton Jr. by Jimmy. He’s given a lei straight from Hawaii, a pink cowboy hat, and a rope so that Piper can go hang himself. Hart thinks he’s got one over on Piper, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Piper sits him down, ties him to the chair, gives him the lei (because it’s probably the only LAY he’ll ever get), and pours Listerine down his throat. Piper makes him spit out the mouthwash in Orton’s pink hat and puts it on Jimmy’s head. This was like one big cartoon.

Piper’s Pit with guests Harley Race & Bobby Heenan – (WWF Superstars, 11/8/86)

Harley and Bobby talk about how Race is the self-proclaimed king of wrestling because nobody can beat him. Well, Piper says he’s going to give Race some jewels, and ends up putting a toilet seat around his neck.

Piper’s Pit with guests Hulk Hogan & WWF Executives – (WWF Superstars, 11/15/86)

Jack Tunney, Arnold Skaaland, and two other suits that I don’t recognize are out here in case there are any problems. Piper and Hogan go nose-to-nose. Hulk thanks Piper for getting rid of the Flower Shoppe and beating up that no-good Adrian Adonis. Apparently, there’s a so-called truce between these two.

Piper’s Pit with guest Hulk Hogan – (WWF Superstars, 3/14/87)

Both guys got big matches heading into WrestleMania 3. Both guys encourage one other to give it all they got. Pretty cool moment.

Piper’s Pit – (WWF Superstars, 3/28/87)

This is the last Piper’s Pit before he heads off to Hollywood. He gives us a quick bio, says he can’t keep leaving his daughters to go fight, and says his goodbyes to the crowd. Awesome stuff.

Piper’s Pit with guests Brother Love & Morton Downey Jr. – (WrestleMania V)

This would mark the first appearance of Roddy Piper in the WWF since they were at the Pontiac Silverdome at WrestleMania 3 when he left to try his hand at acting. Brother Love “fools us all” and shows up in a kilt to do his best Roddy Piper imitation, which is actually pretty good. Morton Downey Jr. comes down next. If you don’t know who he is, he’s had his own controversial exploitative talk show, smoked a lot of cigarettes, and hated liberals. He looks like House, except with horse teeth. Piper finally makes an appearance to make fun of Brother Love. As for Morton Downey Jr, he blows a bunch of smoke in Piper’s face and gets a fire extinguisher sprayed back in his face.

Piper’s Pit with guests Vince McMahon & Rikishi – (WWE Smackdown, 4/10/03)

This is the first Piper’s Pit since 1989. Vince McMahon is out here before even Roddy Piper though to talk about how he has destroyed Hulkamania and put the man permanently on the shelf. As Vince put Hulkamania on the shelf, he now pulls another one of his creations (Piper’s Pit) off the shelf and dusts it off for all of us. Here comes Roddy. He makes a dick joke about Vince’s short fingers. Piper makes one thing clear: nobody created Roddy Piper but Roddy Piper. Vince tells Roddy to calm down and tries to lighten the mood by making fun of Piper’s weight gain. Piper takes over the interview and points out Vince’s failures: being a rock N roll promoter, the WBF, and the XFL. The only job he’s been able to hold is the one his daddy gave to him. That crack on Vince is no big deal though as he mentions to Piper that they have only one thing in common: they both hate Hulk Hogan. That causes Piper to go on a tangent about how Vince did everything for Hogan and he would be nothing without Vince McMahon. When Piper realizes Vince is trying to warm up to him, he tells Vince to get his hands off his shoulder. They get into an SOB contest, but they shake hands anyway. Before Vince leaves, Piper makes a point to say that he never got pinned by Hogan at a WrestleMania. Just saying. Well, Rikishi comes out for some reason. He’s got a coconut in his hand. Oh boy. It looks like Rikishi is out here to get some revenge for what happened to Jimmy Snuka in 1984, but Sean O’Haire appears and runs down Rikishi with a clothesline. After O’Haire jabs him with a chair, Piper smashes the coconut over Rikishi’s head. Piper and O’Haire walk out together, which is the beginning of a very strange friendship.

Piper’s Pit with guest Jimmy Snuka – (WWE Smackdown, 4/17/03)

After showing us clips of Piper smashing the coconut over Jimmy Snuka’s head, he talks about Sean O’Haire is the wrestler of the new millennium that he’s been looking for. O’Haire comes out and sucks up to Piper until Jimmy Snuka interrupts. It looks like there’s going to be a fight. Piper sends out O’Haire because he feels he can handle this on his own. He feels it is time for them to “bury the coconut” as it were. Uhh, Snuka ain’t buying it. Piper takes a swing at Snuka, but Snuka ducks and chops him down. O’Haire reappears and kicks down Snuka. Rikishi heads out for the save, but Piper distracts Rikishi long enough for a superkick to the back of the head. O’Haire and Piper head for the exit sign, but not before Rikishi issues a challenge for Backlash.

Piper’s Pit with guest Mr. America – (WWE Smackdown, 5/15/03)

Piper brings his bodyguard Sean O’Haire with him. At Judgment Day, Piper plans to show the world that Mr. America is in fact Hulk Hogan. Lucky fan Zach Gowen gets to hold the American flag for Mr. America. The guy says all the Hogan platitudes and I believe Piper thinks he’s taking crazy pills if anybody believes this guy isn’t Hogan. I hate these type of characters. Piper points out that Hogan never beat him 1-2-3, but then Mr. America says that Piper never pinned him either. Piper then uses Zach Gowen as a distraction to attack Mr. America. As he and O’Haire do a number on Mr. America, Gowen jumps in the ring and whacks Piper with the American flag pole. O’Haire spears Gowen to the ground and as security pulls this “fan” out of the ring, Piper pulls off his prosthetic leg. Well, Piper and O’Haire are so freaked out by this, that they just leave. And thus, now we know who Zach Gowen is.

Piper’s Pit with guests Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri – (WWE Smackdown, 6/12/03)

Piper calls this edition the International Piper’s Pit. It’s just a table with sombreros, Jose Cuervo, sushi, sake, and tacos. Piper and O’Haire bribe Tajiri with sushi if he will let O’Haire hold one of the tag belts. When O’Haire refuses to give the belt back, they all share some sake. Tajiri spits the sake in their faces, the table gets turned over, and Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri split with their tag belts in hand. Two weeks later and Piper would be out of the WWE again because of the HBO interview.

Piper’s Pit with guests Stone Cold Steve Austin & Carlito – (WrestleMania 21)

Here we are the night after RP is put in the WWE Hall of Fame. Everybody says Stone Cold Steve Austin is the baddest man on the planet. Piper says he needs to find out for himself. This is Austin’s first appearance since last year’s WrestleMania. To get under his skin, Piper welcomes him to the pit and slaps him across the face. Austin returns the favor. Piper says he can appreciate Austin standing up to Mr. McMahon the way he has done all these years, but Piper was doing that same thing back when Austin was in diapers. As far as rebels go, Austin and James Dean have nothing on Roddy Piper. Austin isn’t impressed. Piper does a fantastic job reacting to the WHAT chants. Carlito interrupts their conversation and tells them they aren’t cool. Nobody wants to see them anymore, people only want to see Carlito. Piper has no idea who this guy is, but tells him to get in the ring if he wants to fight. Carlito is the latest thing around here and feels that’s cool. He wants them both out of the ring right now. As Carlito starts to chew the apple, Piper catches the apple when Carlito tosses it in the air. He chews up a big wad of apple and spits it back in his face. Well, Carlito doesn’t think that’s cool and attacks Piper. Never wanting to miss an opportunity to fight, Austin peels Carlito off Piper and stomps a mudhole in him in the corner. After Piper rips off his jacket, Austin walks Carlito into an eye poke, to which Carlito staggers around into a STONE COLD STUNNER. So long, Carlito. Austin and Piper celebrate with some Steveweisers. Wow, that’s a WRESTLEMANIA amount of beers. Just when you think everything is cool, Austin drops Piper with a STONE COLD STUNNER as well. Welcome to the Hall of Fame, Roddy.

Piper’s Pit with guest Shawn Michaels – (WWE Raw, 7/11/05)

Wow, Shawn is wearing ALL WHITE tonight. Piper is here to get some answers as to why Shawn turned on Hulk Hogan last week. He hands the mic over to Shawn to let him speak his peace. Shawn says that over the last twenty years, he has literally broken his back to give all of us unforgettable moment after unforgettable moment. It was all for you people! Back at the Hall of Fame ceremony at WrestleMania 21, the crowd was chanting for Hogan to have just one more match. Once again, Shawn wants to give all of us exactly what we want and ensured that would happen on July 4 when he gave Hogan the superkick. Michaels officially issues the challenge to the Immortal Hulk Hogan for that match at SummerSlam. Michaels will prove that immortality has a price. Piper still wants to know the truth. Shawn acts like the fans made him do it, but the fans are what makes Shawn Michaels. Piper recalls a time when Shawn was just coming up in the business and he would always ask Roddy how to become a main eventer. He told Shawn because he knew he was worth it. Piper almost comes to tears when he admits he’s now ashamed of Michaels for what he did to Hogan. Piper wants to know why Shawn would ruin his reputation for that moment. When Shawn starts to walk away, Piper says he will tell the world why Shawn did what he did: because he’s a coward. Well, that’s all the motivation Shawn needs to drill Piper with SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Piper sells that kick like DEATH. You made him do it, Roddy.

Piper’s Pit with guests Mick Foley, Randy & Bob Orton – (WWE Raw, 10/3/05)

So much plaid in the ring right now. This is the night where Raw comes back from Spike TV to the USA Network for the first time in five years. Piper wants to know when Mick Foley is coming back to the WWE. Foley says he came back last year and got his ass kicked even though he felt he was better than ever. Piper gets the crowd behind Foley when Randy Orton and his daddy come out. Randy isn’t out here to talk to Foley. When Piper welcomes him to the pit, Randy tells him to shut up or he will drop him where he stands. WHOA. If it wasn’t for Bob Orton Jr., Piper would never be anything. When his daddy would come home, he was always bruised and beaten. Piper got MTV spots, movie deals, and main events at WrestleMania. Randy starts shoving Piper around, which leads to a roll-around brawl on the mat. Foley and Bob separate the two, but then Bob decks Foley and Randy drops Piper with an RKO. There’s an RKO to Foley! Well, there’s two more legends killed.

Piper’s Pit with guest the Great Khali – (WWE Smackdown, 6/2/06)

Khali is supposed to be the next big thing and Piper doesn’t believe it, so here we are. Daivari comes out with the big guy. Piper makes fun of Khali’s size until Daivari gets a little testy. Piper calls the Undertaker the toughest man ever in the WWE, but Daivari says that all ended at Judgment Day when Khali became the new Phenom. Piper starts to talk crap to Khali and gets choked for it. Daivari calls him off and tells Piper that he is the most dominant force in the WWE. Well maybe he is, but Daivari sure isn’t. Piper slaps Daivari down and gets the HEAD CHOP from Khali. Look out, Taker. It’s back to 1993 with you.

Final Thoughts: The prime of Piper’s Pit is golden, but the stuff from the WWE days is either nonsense or Piper just getting his butt kicked. But hey, I guess that was his way of giving back to the business so to speak.

I think a two disc set with some fat cut off from the weaker Piper’s Pits would have made for a better collection. I mean, where is the promo he cut on Hogan at Halloween Havoc 1996? Strong thumbs in the middle for the set as a whole.

RIP Roddy Piper: 1954-2015

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