Lucha Underground
June 22, 2016
Los Angeles, CA
The Temple

The current Lucha Underground champs are as follows:
Lucha Underground Champion: Matanza (3/23/16)
Lucha Underground Gift of the Gods Champion: Vacant (6/1/16)
Lucha Underground Trios Champions: Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans & PJ Black (5/25/16)

In case you missed last week, here are some highlights:

NOW ONTO THIS WEEK:

In Dario Cueto’s office, he meets with some guy named Night Claw who looks like a Marvel Comics rip-off of Black Panther. AAA fans will know him as Flamita and as the fraudulent Octagon Jr.. Anyways, he will make his wrestling debut as Night Claw at Ultima Lucha Dos. Cueto gives him an Aztec medallion as a signing bonus and follows that up with some metaphorical background information into the demise of his Aztec Jaguar tribe.

HIPSTER BAND OF THE WEEK: Voodoo Glow Skulls.

Your hosts are Matt Striker and Vampiro. It is announced that Prince Puma will SPEAK tonight on what he will do at Ultima Lucha Dos.

• Aztec Medallion #2 Match: Daga vs. Mascarita Sagrada (w/Beautiful Brenda & Famous B)
  

Kobra Moon watches from the roof of Dario Cueto’s office flipping her bean to Daga. Not much of a fight as Daga bullies Sagrada into a modified Crippler Crossface for the tapout and wins the Aztec medallion in 2:13. After Sagrada gets helped up by Famous B and Brenda, Famous B superkicks him down! AWESOME. Famous B then takes off his shoe and beats Sagrada some more. Brenda is crying off her mascara. Famous B declares he will find a new client – a REAL client – and he will be famous. I love it.

Back over to Dario Cueto, he talks with El Dragon Azteca Jr. in his office. Dario tells him that it is not Matanza that owes him a debt, but Black Lotus. She wants to take him out because she thinks El Dragon Azteca is the one who actually killed her parents. Dario makes El Dragon Azteca Jr. versus Black Lotus at Ultima Lucha Dos and tells him he will see who the real killer is that night. Wait to get her at Ultima Lucha Dos so he can get his vengeance in front of the world. Just like his mentor would have wanted.

• Aztec Medallions #3-5 Match : Killshot, Marty the Moth & El Siniestro de la Muerte vs. Joey Ryan, Cortez Castro & Cisco
  

The winning team will be awarded the next three Aztec medallions. To ensure there will be some solidarity on his team because there are bigger goals at stake, Marty the Moth returns Killshot’s dog tags to him. Also, I thought Cisco had been arrested and knew that Castro and Joey were undercover agents. WEIRD. Castro works over Marty with a neckbreaker or two to start. Tag to Ryan, Marty goes low on him and they take turns sucking on the lollipop. Marty tries to give it to Killshot and Killshot knocks it out of his hand. OH YOU GUYS! Killshot tags in and shows off his handstand abilities. In comes Siniestro and Cisco. Cisco does some lucha armdrags and powerslams Siniestro for two. Tag to Castro, Siniestro takes control and Castro becomes your undercover agent in peril. He tornado DDTs Marty to make his way out of the opposite corner to hot tag Cisco. The match sort of breaks down as Joey Ryan and Siniestro de la Muerte head to the floor. Marty fakes a dive to piss off the crowd and takes a double clothesline to the floor. Cisco dropkicks him through the ropes. Killshot gets fancy by jumping off the top and kicking off Castro for a crazy moonsault plancha on a pile of dudes. Back inside, Killshot and Marty work together to get a nearfall on Cisco. After Castro dumps out Marty, Cisco comes back on Killshot with a rewind rana. Cisco and Castro stop Siniestro at the pass, but Ryan comes in from out of nowhere with a superkick to Siniestro. The undercover boys argue and Cisco gets shoved down. While Joey and Castro continue arguing, Marty sneaks in and gives Cisco a curb stomp followed by a flying double stomp by Killshot for the W. (8:05) Lots of personalities that played off well here. I’m digging the Killshot and Marty stuff. Marty leaves with not just an Aztec medallion, but picks up the dog tags on his way out. What a dick. **½

• Aztec Medallions #6-7 Match : Sexy Star & Mariposa vs. Taya & Ivelisse
  

This is like Russo booking because neither team can get along! Once again, the winning team will get the last two Aztec medallions. Striker and Vamp sucking up to women saying they are smarter and more mature than men is just plain stupid. It’s a glaring example of what’s wrong with American television. Because if you say something enough times, people start to believe that it’s true even if it is not and that idea has affected our society in some truly awful ways. I’m all for equality, but constantly putting one gender over the other as the superior gender is *not* equality. ANYWAYS. Taya and Sexy Star hit the match and show us their skillz. In comes Ivelisse and Mariposa. Ivelisse grabs a strong headlock and gets dumped off into the corner to break it up. Playing off the knee injuries of the past, Mariposa applies an inverted cloverleaf on Ivelisse. She manages to fling Mariposa off to the corner and rolls her up for two. Mariposa puts down Ivelisse with a Samoan drop, but Ivelisse refuses to tag out and rolls to the floor. In comes Taya for a showdown. She shoves Mariposa back into the corner to tag Sexy Star. Taya connects with a mule kick, but Sexy Star fires back with a lucha armdrag and headscissors to take her to the floor. She follows Taya out and delivers a running seated senton from the apron. Still pissed about getting shoved earlier, Mariposa throws away Sexy Star so she can throw Taya into the wooden chairs section. VINTAGE LUCHA UNDERGROUND~! She sits Taya down in one of the chairs and gives her a crossbody block. As Mariposa stands back up, Ivelisse comes off the top with a dive. Back inside, Taya bullies Sexy Star around and delivers the double knees down in the corner for two. Sexy Star makes her comeback though dumping Taya on her head with a nasty DDT. Ivelisse replaces her partner for a chop fest with Sexy which quickly turns to kicks. Ivelisse wins the battle, but then they start trading rollups. Mariposa charges and gets kicked to the floor by Ivelisse. Taya looks to spear down Sexy, but Sexy moves and Ivelisse gets SPEARED. Mariposa gives Ivelisse the Celtic Cross and throws Sexy on top of her for the win and the final two Aztec medallions. (9:50) Another match that worked really well with the conflicting personalities. I liked this one a little bit better than the trios match since this had more of a violent feel to it. ***

PRINCE PUMA SPEAKS~! Everyone has been asking him what he will be doing at Ultima Lucha Dos. Who is this *everyone* he speaks of? What got him through some tough times when he was being trained by Konnan was that he was told he could be the next Rey Mysterio. I think we know where this is going. Puma asks himself if he is the next Rey Mysterio or if is he BETTER than Rey Mysterio? There’s only one way to find out. He challenges Rey to a match. Mysterio comes out to respond. Rey has mad respect for Puma, but Puma is still a Prince and he is el Rey (which is Spanish for king if you didn’t know). Just as much as Puma needs to know if he’s better than Rey Mysterio, Rey Mysterio says he needs to know if he is still the best. With that said, Rey accepts the challenge for Ultima Lucha Dos to close out the show.

That simple five-minute segment just hooked EVERYBODY for Ultima Lucha Dos, right?

How could it not?