TEN YEARS AFTER: WWE RAW (04.02.07)

WWE: RAW
April 2, 2007
Dayton, OH
Nutter Center

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (9/17/2006)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Umaga (2/19/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: John Cena & Shawn Michaels (1/29/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Melina (2/19/2007)

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

John Cena starts the show to celebrate his win at WrestleMania. As the boys boo and the girls cheer, Cena drinks it in mannnnn. The champ is here. Shawn Michaels interrupts and says their match wasn’t about screwjobs, mind games, massive egos (…brother), who got cheered, who got booed, or showing good sportsmanship. It was about winning and losing. Cena won and HBK lost and Shawn doesn’t like it. He’s sick and tired of coming out here and lie to himself that the other person who beat him was the better man. This won’t happen tonight. Cena may have won last night, but he is *not* the better man. AWESOME. Cena feels his manhood is being challenged and says he’ll give Shawn a rematch anytime – any place. Michaels wants a match tonight, but Mr. McMahon’s Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman feels different about this. The WWE title will not be defended here tonight, but the World Tag Team titles will – in a battle royal with all three brands being represented. That match begins right now. King Booker & Finlay and Rob Van Dam & Sabu are introduced before we go to commercial.

  • 10-Team Battle Royal for the World Tag Team Championship

When we return, the team of Kenny Dykstra and Chris Masters are eliminated by Sabu and RVD. Domino eliminates JTG to send Cryme Tyme back to the locker room. Elijah Burke uses that springboard dropkick move to eliminate Eugene and Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Deuce uses a headscissors to send Rory to the back. Cena FUs Domino to the floor. There goes Deuce as well. Finlay sends Striker over who was teaming with Elijah Burke. That leaves RVD & Sabu, Shawn & Cena, Booker & Finlay. Surprise, surprise! RVD goes to the top and gets pushed off. Say no to drugs, kids. Finlay and Booker try to double team Cena, but Finlay clotheslines Booker. Whoops. Cena knocks Finlay to the apron as Shawn finishes him off with SWEET CHIN MUSIC. (6:03 shown) But this was just the first battle royal! Shawn and Cena have to go through another one! And it starts right now.

  • 10-Team Battle Royal for the World Tag Team Championship

This could be the first time the Miz and Johnny Nitro work together. Everyone teams up against Viscera before realizing how stupid that is, and they go after his partner Val Venis, eliminating both of them. Dreamer sends William Regal over and then tries a FLIP FLOP AND FLY on Trevor Murdoch. Murdoch no-sells and tosses him over. Commercials! AND WE’RE BACK! Miz and Nitro are trying to eliminate Cena. Shawn saves Cena by sending Nitro out with SWEET CHIN MUSIC, but then double-crosses Cena and tosses him to the floor! WHAT. All he cares about is the WWE title. Well, it kind of buries the tag titles when the champs don’t even want them. Kendrick hurracanranas Chavo to the floor and winds up eliminating himself as well. Lots of dumb eliminations tonight. It boils down to Murdoch & Cade against the Hardyz. Funny spot as Jeff mounts Cade in the corner and pummels him, but Matt realizes the stupidity of that so he tells him to get down. Jeff dropkicks Cade to the floor, but he went under the bottom rope, so Jeff springboards off Matt’s back and sends Murdoch tumbling off the top with a dropkick to win the tag titles. (8:41 shown) Now this is a tag team program I want to see between Cade & Murdoch and the Hardyz.

Todd Grisham asks Shawn what he was thinking. With a bandage on his head and looking all sweaty, HBK just looks like an old school professional wrestler right here. I love it. Shawn says that the tag titles were confusing Cena and muddying the waters because it’s all about the WWE Title for him. Randy Orton interrupts and wonders why Shawn should get another WWE title shot after failing.

They air the closing video montage for WrestleMania 23 that we saw the night before.

Vince McMahon follows Jonathan Coachman through the hall in POV only. Normally, I would call this stupid, but he stops and talks to Maria and Candice, which is a pretty good POV. He shows them his new bald look and they try to be as tactful as possible. Vince then walks up on Cryme Tyme and Eugene who try not to laugh. Ron Simmons appears and gives him a DAMN. He now wants to go out to the ring and let the crowd have it.

After the break, Mr. McMahon comes out to the ring looking like Kojak wearing a fedora. Because April 1 was such an embarrassing night, he wipes the slate clean saying the match never happened and declares himself the winner of the Battle of the Billionaires. To prove his point that Bobby Lashley could never beat Umaga when everything is equal and fair, he books Bobby Lashley to defend his ECW world championship against Umaga here tonight. Crowd wants Austin, but Vince certainly doesn’t. Bobby Lashley saunters down and takes Vince’s hat – revealing his bald head once and for all. Vince tries to cover up with King’s crown and then JR’s hat, but Lashley keeps yanking them away from him. Finally, Vince hides under Lillian Garcia’s skirt. Lashley rips off her skirt – forcing Vince to run away and seek refuge in the back.

  • Ric Flair & Carlito (w/Torrie Wilson) vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team

Carlito takes on both guys until getting booted in the face by Shelton. Carlito plays face-in-peril before hitting a springboard elbow. Flair gets the hot tag and fires off a series of chops. He takes a backdrop and sets up for the LEAPFROG GUILLOTINE. Carlito cuts off Benjamin though and chopblocks Haas so that Flair can apply the FIGURE-FOUR for the win. (4:31) This is all leading to Carlito turning heel again, but it seems like they need to start losing pretty soon to justify the turn. *½

They recap the WWE Hall of Fame.

Timbaland is in the house. He wants to put a WWE Diva in the music video for “Throw It On Me”. For some reason, Ashley looks really good to him.

Melina comes out to lobby to be in Timbaland’s music video and gives the paparazzi a special photo-op when Mickie James runs down and spears her to set up the next feud.

  • The Great Khali vs. Super Crazy

Not a lot to say here. Khali chops him in the head and double chokeslams him at 0:57.

Armando Alejandro Estrada ties to calm Vince down, so Vince adds Armando to the title match. Epic fail!

Backstage, Maria interviews the Hardyz. This was real Rock N Roll Express type stuff.

Edge, who is still broken and battered after that insane ladder spot from last night, comes out to the ring and objects to Shawn Michaels or Randy Orton being granted a WWE title rematch. After all, Edge has beaten Cena countless times. Long story short, Edge says he is going to be the next WWE Champion.

  • ECW World Championship: Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Umaga & Armando Alejandro Estrada

Umaga knocks Lashley off the apron during his entrance. Brilliant! He sends Lashley to the steps as Armando looks on. Back in, Lashley spears Estrada to the corner but gets jumped by Umaga. Umaga blocks a sunset flip (with some help from Estrada) and sits down on Lashley for two. A Samoan Drop gets two more. Lashley gets his knees up to block a vertical splash. Umaga no-sells a DDT and boots foots Lashley in the face. He hits a belly-to-belly, but Estrada demands the cover. Rinse. Repeat. Crowd is getting restless. Umaga hits the buttalanche, but Lashley comes back and spears him for 1-2-NO! Umaga accidentally takes out his own manager with an avalanche allowing Lashley to knock Umaga to the floor and finish off Estrada with a Running Powerslam for the win. (10:21) This felt like straight out of 1985. *½

Until next time, so long for now.

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