WWE: Smackdown!
September 28, 2007
Indianapolis, IN
Conseco Fieldhouse

The current Smackdown champions are as follows:
World Heavyweight Champion: Batista (9/16/2007)
WWE United States Champion: MVP (5/20/2007)
WWE Tag Team Champions: MVP & Matt Hardy (8/31/2007)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Hornswoggle (7/22/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

LAST WEEK: We witnessed the wedding of Teddy Long and Kristal Marshall. Not only was it a disaster, but TEDDY LONG SUFFERED A HEART ATTACK! I guess the very thought that Kristal’s poon was about to legally become *all* his was just too much for him to take.

THIS WEEK: We hear straight from the mouth of Vickie Guerrero that Teddy Long has yet to recover and is stuck in a coma. Since the show must go on, Vince McMahon makes her the official General Manager of Smackdown. Finlay appears as he and Vince bond over Hornswoggle.

Your hosts are Michael Cole & JBL.

• Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria
  

Lots of Torrie offense in this one while Cole and JBL blather on about how hot she is and also trying to get her over as some sort of serious threat. Victoria blocks a sunset flip out of the corner and kneels down on Torrie’s shoulders grabbing the ropes to get the pinfall. (3:23) Well, this was rather pointless. After the bell though, some Torrie Wilson look-alike dressed up in a red and white get up attacks Torrie. Turns out it’s Krissy Vaine (from Greensboro NC!) who is married to Konnor from the Ascension. Where exactly is the security? She heads back to the locker room and no one has a clue who she is. ¾*

MVP’s V.I.P. Lounge: MVP comes out carrying his gold and meets his douchebag friends in the ring who are dancing to his theme music. He remarks that Teddy Long’s greatest achievement as Smackdown GM was signing him one year ago and brags about how he has lived up to all the hype and earned every penny of his most lucrative contract. As soon as he mentions Matt Hardy riding his coattails, Matt interrupts and has brought with him a bottle of champagne. While this isn’t Matt’s scene, he has come bearing gifts. Matt shows a video package up on the TitanTron of MVP getting his butt whooped (and even caught on fire!) over the last year. Hilarious, but expected. Now MVP is mad, but Matt says it was just a joke. They open up the bottle of booze and Matt wants to make a toast. When he buries MVP in the toast, MVP wants his security to get Matt out of his V.I.P. lounge. Matt agrees to leave without things getting physical, but then announces on his way out that he was able to get MVP a match tonight – with KANE. Oh boy.

• Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra
  

Another pointless and uninteresting match. Palumbo throws Dykstra around for a while, but misses an elbow drop. Kenny comes off the top with a missile dropkick. Palumbo breaks free of a chinlock forcing Dykstra into the corner to start the comeback. There’s some power moves and FULL THROTTLE gets the win in 3:29. ½*

Jesse and Festus are coming next week.

We get some hype for the PUNJABI PRISON match, which will happen between the world champ Batista and the Great Khali at No Mercy. Cole and JBL interview Bats who is standing backstage. He has no strategy because he’s never been in one of these matches. When people put him in a cage though, PEOPLE GET HURT. And if Khali wants the belt back, he will have to pry it from Batista’s cold, dead hands. When did Batista become Charlton Heston?

SO MUCH HYPE FOR THE UNDERTAKER COMING BACK TO SMACKDOWN! It’s only been four months since he’s been gone.

• MVP vs. Kane
  

MVP tries going after the arm to start, but Kane throws him away. He starts talking smack and eats an uppercut. MVP ducks out to avoid a big boot and back pedals, but eventually eats that big boot after all. He finally catches Kane with a dropkick to the knee and counters a suplex with a DDT. Oh my. Neckbreaker gets two. Kane punches him back and goes up top for the Flying Clothesline, but MVP moves and Kane crashes and burns. No pun intended. MVP rips at the shoulder and goes for the Helluva Kick, but Kane blocks. MVP avoids a Chokeslam as they KO each other. Commercials! When we come back, MVP is stretching out Kane on the mat. Kane tries to come back and gets booted in the face for 1-2-NO! MVP finds the facebuster and follows up with the Helluva Kick for another nearfall. Crowd starts chanting for Kane. MVP does the Heisman pose and gets punched down. Kane hits his corner clotheslines and Side Slam for two. MVP interrupts the Flying Clothesline, but takes it anyway. Kane goozles him for the Chokeslam again, but MVP kicks him in the balls for the blatant DQ. (12:37 shown) That was a lot of work for a weak finish. Not too shabby though. **½

Time for “Diva Search” stuff. They have fun doing the limbo.

JBL interviews the man who put him on the shelf: REY MYSTERIO. This was less of an interview and more about JBL airing his grievances with Rey. After JBL has had enough of Mysterio and shoves him down, Rey dropkicks him into the ropes for the 619 and La Silla. Finlay appears out of nowhere though and whacks Mysterio with the shillelagh because reasons.

Elsewhere, Vickie Guerrero is talking to Hornswoggle. She recognizes that him winning the Cruiserweight title was a fluke and now that he’s a champion *and* a McMahon, there’s a huge target on his back now. If anything happened to Horny and he got hurt, she could never forgive herself and strips him of the Cruiserweight title. BOO! And that, ladies and gents, is the end of the WWE Cruiserweight title as we knew it to be – until they started signing a whole bunch of guys who are 5’8” and weigh 175 pounds soaking wet in 2016.

• Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore
  

Cole and JBL explain this match is a big deal now that there’s no Cruiserweight champion. With ref Charles Robinson, we’re looking at THREE ex-WCW employees. Noble attacks Moore at the bell, but Moore fires back and dropkicks him out to the floor. Noble ducks under a baseball slide, but gets his face bounced off the apron. Back inside, Moore flies off the top down into a gutbuster. Brutal! Noble tries to apply a Boston crab, but Moore ends up in the ropes. Moore finds a neckbreaker. He hits a spinning heel kick and a crossbody out of the corner. A standing legdrop gets two. Noble avoids a headscissors by slamming Moore down on his face. He winds up giving Moore the Roderick Strong gutbuster for the win. (3:03) Looked good, but WWE doesn’t really want you to care about these two guys. **

MORE UNDERTAKER HYPE! GOOD GRIEF.

Backstage, we hear from the Great Khali and his interpreter Ranjin Singh. He wants Batista to watch his match next week with Rey Mysterio and keep in mind that while Rey might be able to run and hide, Bats won’t be able to in the PUNJABI PRISON at No Mercy!

• The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry
  

Rematch from Unforgiven and just as effective. Not much time left on the show. Henry punches on Taker to start, but runs into a boot in the corner. Taker tries Old School, but Henry catches him in mid-air and forces him in a corner to set up an avalanche. Eventually, Taker punches back and hits the Jumping Clotheslines. After a pair of corner clotheslines, he goozles Henry for the Chokeslam to get the three-count. (3:39) And that’s that. HE’S BACK! ¾*

Just wanted to stop off and see what was happening on Smackdown. Next time we revisit 2007, we’ll be going back over to RAW. Until then, so long for now!