WWF: Raw is War
August 3, 1998
San Diego, CA
San Diego Sports Arena

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: Steve Austin (6/29/1998)
Intercontinental Champion: The Rock (12/8/1997)
World Tag Team Champions: The Undertaker & Steve Austin (7/26/1998)
European Champion: D’Lo Brown (7/20/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku (12/7/1997)

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. After not watching old school RAW for a long while, you forget how BADASS the intro was.

The Nation head down to ringside to begin the show. Ross and Lawler remind us the Rock and Owen beat Kane and Mankind on Sunday Night Heat to get a shot at the Undertaker and Stone Cold and the WWF tag titles tonight. Rock wants to get it on with those two right here – right now. It doesn’t look like they will accept the challenge. Instead, Commissioner Slaughter comes out to the ring. Rock considers Austin and Taker’s no-show as a sign that they have forfeited the match and demands Slaughter take him and his 75 cent shirt back to the dressing room and bring them the tag belts before Rock lays the smackdown on his candy ass. *GLASS BREAKING* Here comes Steve Austin and the Undertaker. They have the tag belts with them. While Austin gets in the ring all alone to get beaten up by the Nation, the Undertaker gets distracted by his brother Kane. Paul Bearer pushes him back in the tunnel and as Taker goes after them, Mankind comes out from of nowhere and attacks the Undertaker. They fight back to the locker room. Meanwhile, Austin is able to get away and land a STONE COLD STUNNER on Owen. He nearly gets a Stone Cold Stunner on the Rock, but Rock pushes him off and retreats with his Nation boys. Austin arms himself with a chair and keeps the Nation on the floor as the Nation decides to fight another day. Lawler stirs the pot about the possible conspiracy against Stone Cold. JR assures us that we will see this match – TONIGHT!

Elsewhere, the Godfather and Scorpio are getting warmed up for the BRAWL FOR ALL!

After the break, they show us a quick recap of what happened in the first segment.

NOTE: The WWE Network edited out a Marc Mero vs. Golga match. Here is the report from the WON dated 8/10/98 with some Uncle Dave commentary:

“Golga (John Tenta) with the oddities, now managed by Sable, came out and beat Mero with the old Earthquake splash after “The Giant Silva” gave Mero a choke slam. Silva & Kurrgan came out in tuxedos singing “There she is, Miss America” as Luna came prancing down the aisle. They seemed to be setting up a future Luna vs. Jackie program. Sable seemed really uncomfortable trying to sell her new role. The idea behind it is twofold. Apparently they do feel Jackyl has big-time potential as a manager, but feel this isn’t the group to put him with. And the new deal for Sable is to be like a high school movie character (and everyone can probably relate to this in real life as well) where there are pretty girls who are bitches and there are pretty girls who are nice even to the unpopular guys. Anyway, I get the impression someone who scripts this stuff saw “There’s Something About Mary” last week and this was the result. It didn’t seem to be a good fit.”

Dan Severn is shown standing backstage and JR asks him why he dropped out of the Brawl for All tournament. He feels he has nothing to prove and when he has a score to settle, he’ll do it when his hands are not bound.

• Brawl for All Quarterfinals: The Godfather (w/buncha hos) vs. Scorpio

Godfather gets on the mic and gives Scorpio the chance to take an ass whooping or spend the night with these three hos and possibly get chlamydia. Scorpio makes the right decision by choosing the possibility of a serious concussion over some sort of STD.

ROUND ONE: With the reach and size advantage, Godfather lands more blows. He wins round one and gains 5 points to Scorpio’s zero.

ROUND TWO: Scorpio’s a tough dude, but there’s not much he can do here. Godfather leads 10 to 0.

ROUND THREE: One of these hos is clearly proud of her backside because she sticks it out for the camera every chance she gets. Scorpio decides to go for a takedown, but Godfather reverses and gets five points. If anybody knows a wrestling takedown, it would be DANNY HODGE, who is still around to judge these contests. Scorpio goes for the knockout punch because he’s got no other way to win. He goes for another takedown, but Godfather blocks him as they end the third round and the match. N/A

Michael Cole is backstage with the New Age Outlaws. They get Kane and Mankind tonight. The Outlaws look to destroy them to get their WWF tag belts back. And if you don’t like it, you can just SUCK IT.

• The New Age Outlaws vs. Kane & Mankind (w/Paul Bearer)

The Outlaws are DETERMINED tonight. Regardless, they still do their usual spill. The Outlaws pull Mankind out to the floor and start beating him right off the bat. Back inside, Mankind and Gunn trade shots. Road Dogg stops Mankind allowing Gunn to clothesline him down. Tag to Road Dogg, he hits the Shaky Knee Drop for two. Mankind cuts off Road Dogg with a back elbow and tags Kane. He whips Road Dogg into a corner and clotheslines him real good. Road Dogg stops a corner charge, but he’s thrown back to the mat by Kane. He lets Road Dogg tag Gunn and there’s a double-team suplex attempt, but Kane reverses and takes them both over. WHAT POWER BY KANE. Road Dogg is bleeding from the mouth. Thought Gunn tagged in, but I guess not. Mankind is now the legal man and he Cactus Clotheslines Road Dogg to the floor. Out comes the chairs. Mankind whacks Road Dogg on the head, but then Gunn whacks Mankind on the head. THE CONCUSSIONS. Kane runs down Gunn and continues to destroy the Outlaws at ringside. Back in the ring, Road Dogg is getting double-teamed. Mankind applies a sleeperhold, but Road Dogg counters with a back suplex. Gunn gets a tag and has to fight off both guys. Mankind takes a clothesline to the floor. In comes Road Dogg, he and Billy double suplex Kane this time. Gunn covers Kane, but the ref is distracted by Mankind applying a MANDIBLE CLAW on Road Dogg. Billy breaks up the hold and goes to the floor with Mankind. Meanwhile, Kane is back up and TOMBSTONES Road Dogg for the three-count. (5:20) That was a fun little brawl there. Some CRAZY chair shots to the head. Makes you cringe. **

They replay Road Warrior Hawk’s highly embarrassing moments last week when he was “impaired” on TV. To the back, Hawk takes a moment to address the WWF fans as the real Michael Hegstrand. OH MAN IT’S A SHOOT, FOLKS. He hopes they will forgive him for what happened last week and now he wants to go to the ring to do the HAWK THING.

• Jeff Jarrett (w/Tennessee Lee) vs. Road Warrior Hawk

Jeff Jarrett had some comments from earlier in the day. He thinks Hawk should get “scared straight Double J style”. Road Warrior Animal is nowhere to be seen. Hawk runs through Jarrett to start like you would normally see. The FLYING CLOTHESLINE connects and it’s treated like just another move. Jarrett does manage to avoid a corner charge causing Hawk to run his shoulder into the post. He takes Hawk to the floor and throws him into the steps. Back in, Jarrett hits a Russian legsweep. He calls for Tennessee Lee to give him his belt buckle. Tennessee Lee struggles to get off his belt causing Hawk to come up behind Jarrett and land a Reverse Neckbreaker for the win. (2:30) Afterwards, Road Warrior Animal comes down to congratulate Hawk on his victory when SOUTHERN JUSTICE is right behind him. Also, Jarrett and Tennessee Lee are arguing in the ring. Southern Justice (or the Godwinns) jump LOD 2000. Meanwhile, DROZ (an LOD 2000 ally) comes out to even the score by attacking Jeff Jarrett. Looks like the damage is done as all the southern guys head to the locker room. ½*

Mr. McMahon comes out to the ring with Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson, and Commissioner Slaughter. Ever the promoter, Vince discusses the SummerSlam main event between Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Undertaker. McMahon says you’ll see history made tonight when Austin and Taker LOSE the WWF tag team titles. Vince feels there will finally be a team who understands unity and family: the Nation members the Rock and Owen Hart. Now time to stir the pot. Crowd won’t stop chanting “Austin”. Vince recalls the events of Taker accepting Austin’s beer and then Austin getting attacked by Kane and Mankind right afterwards. Vince then reminds us that Austin was left all by himself to fight off the Nation while Taker was “distracted” by his brother Kane, claiming all of this information is just “coincidental”. Now Vince calls out the Undertaker to explain this situation. Out comes the Undertaker with both WWF tag belts to the ring. McMahon tells Taker he just proved his point. *GLASS BREAKS* Here comes Stone Cold Steve Austin because this obviously impacts him as well. He’s got the WWF title in his hand. Vince and the stooges retreat to the apron. Austin says all he did was throw Undertaker a beer because he looked thirsty. It doesn’t mean they are buddies. All Austin wants to do is kick Taker’s ass at SummerSlam. He continues to say Taker can have both tag belts because the WWF title is the only championship he wants. Austin throws the mic at Vince and leaves the tag belts behind. Taker gets on the mic and yells back at Austin to shut up and listen. Taker says Austin is doing exactly what Vince wants him to do by driving a wedge between them because he doesn’t want Taker and Austin to be WWF tag team champions. Taker challenges Austin to get back in the ring and take his part of the WWF tag team titles. Lawler wonders if this is a setup. Austin heads back in the ring and takes one of the WWF tag belts and leaves again. Vince is beside himself over what just transpired. Taker calls back out to Austin. He says whether he likes it or not, between now and SummerSlam, Austin is the SAFEST S.O.B. in the WWF. When they get to SummerSlam, Taker says he will take back what was stolen from him a year ago: the WWF title.

JR speaks to Owen Hart and the Rock backstage. Rock and Owen could care less who has the WWF tag belts because they will be the WWF tag champs tonight.

STRIDEX TRIPLE ACTION: We see highlights of the Rock vs. HHH vs. X-Pac match from last week.

• Triple H (w/Chyna) vs. X-Pac

Despite being in a number one contenders match to the IC title, Triple H and X-Pac come to the ring together. Helmsley gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on X-Pac for a nearfall. He follows up with a Harley Race stalling vertical suplex to set up the Knee Drop out of the corner. Triple H whips X-Pac hard into the corner, but X-Pac cuts him off with a Spinning Heel Kick for two. There’s some chops from X-Pac. Helmsley stops X-Pac with a High Knee while Ross and Lawler discuss X-Pac’s formerly broken neck. Next thing you know, Triple H finds a reverse neckbreaker for a nearfall. X-Pac chops back from his knees and forces Helmsley into the corner. He then misses a corner charge and falls on his neck. The HHH Facebuster connects, but X-Pac ducks a clothesline and lands a spinning heel kick for two. X-Pac delivers the Three Kick Combo in the corner. As he goes for the Bronco Buster, Chyna trips up X-Pac and when he goes to argue with her, Chyna decks him. Triple H just looks over at Chyna and then decides he’s just going to PEDIGREE X-Pac for the win. (5:03 shown) So Triple H is going to SummerSlam to face the Rock for the IC title. What does this mean for DX? It looks like there’s going to be an explosion, but there’s not one. I guess we’ll get an update on the DX drama later. I will say, the Kliq boys always work well together, don’t they? **½

• Val Venis & TAKA Michinoku vs. Dick Togo & Sho Funaki (w/the Yamaguchis!)

They replay Val’s interactions with Mrs. Yamaguchi in the shower for the 30^th time. Val says something to do about his dick and the San Diego Chargers. Choppy-choppy your pee-pee gets replayed. Lawler thinks something is going to happen here tonight. Yamaguchi-san orders his wife around. Meanwhile, Venis is destroying Kaientai with Helluva Kicks. Eventually, Val gets double-teamed with a double suplex. Venis ducks a double clothesline and knocks them both down. JR – “Venis just took [Kaientai] right out of their sandals.” OH MY GOSH. When it looks like Val is going to tag out, TAKA leaps over the ropes and dropkicks him down for the heel turn. He gives Val a DDT as TAKA has officially joined Kaientai. Throw the match out. (1:55) Michinoku then lets the camera know that Mrs. Yamaguchi is TAKA’s sister. Time to choppy-choppy the pee-pee. Kaientai dance over Val and then drag him back to the locker room. Commercials! N/A

When we return, Val Venis is still being dragged around backstage while Mrs. Yamaguchi watches the whole thing going down.

• WWF European Championship: D’Lo Brown (c) vs. Dan Severn

D’Lo claims that because the people of San Diego aren’t even American, he is wrestling this match under protest. WHAT. Dan Severn is the kayfabe reason for D’Lo’s chest protector, so there is some story here. D’Lo BUM RUSHES THE SHOW on Severn. Hey look, it’s Mark Henry! Brown continues to beat down Severn. Now Steve Blackman comes down to ringside to even the score. Ross tells us the DX locker room door is locked, so no new information there. Meanwhile, Severn mounts a comeback. Ken Shamrock comes down and throws D’Lo and Mark Henry into the steps. D’Lo is awarded the match via DQ. (2:36) Blackman stands in between the Nation and Shamrock to keep the peace. As Shamrock heads back to the locker room, Blackman tries to calm Severn down. D’Lo heads up the ramp and then he’s blindsided by EDGE. Ross describes Edge is fueled with rage from an “unknown source”. Edge then disappears back to the locker room. D’Lo doesn’t even know what happened to him. ½*

Elsewhere, Venis continues to get beaten up in the locker room by Kaientai. Mrs. Yamaguchi looks VERY concerned for her FWB.

Tiger Ali Singh comes to the ring. He’s got a Virgil type with him named Babu. They take us back to Sunday Night Heat (which was edited off the WWE Network version) where Singh paid a fat white lady to eat dog food for $500. This looks like a Indian Ted DiBiase gimmick. He thinks the Indian people are the greatest race in the world. For every piece of clothing a chick takes off tonight, they will receive $500. Another fat chick gets in the ring who immediately takes off her blouse and skirt. She’s fat and disgusting. Since Singh can’t even look at her, he says he’s changed the rules and says he’ll give her $500 for every piece of clothing she puts back on. Fine with her. She puts her clothes back on and Singh makes the point that American women will do anything for the almighty dollar. Wow.

Moments Ago: It appears Kaientai has taken Val Venis into a room with a chopping block. Yamaguchi-san has a Samurai sword. They force the cameraman out of the room and lock the door. I think we all know where this is going.

• WWF World Tag Team Championship: The Undertaker & Steve Austin (c) vs. The Rock & Owen Hart

Big brawl to start. No more commercials! Austin and Rock go to the floor while Taker throws Owen around in the ring. Things settle down as Taker hits Old School on Owen. Austin tags in, but eats a Spinning Heel Kick. He ducks the enziguri of DOOM. Rock gets a tag, but Austin runs him down with a back elbow and then lands the elbow drop off the ropes. Vertical suplex gets two. Tag to Taker, he fights off a headlock with a back suplex and a legdrop gets two. Taker looks for a Chokeslam on Rocky, but then Owen chopblocks him to take over. Taker fights off a double-team, but he eats a Spinning Heel Kick from Owen. Taker then boots down Owen and tags in Austin. He stomps a mudhole and walks it dry on Owen. Austin turns Owen over for a SHARPSHOOTER (!), but then Rock runs him down and knocks him to the floor. Rock throws Austin back in the ring. Tag to Rock, but Austin comes back with the Lou Thesz Press. Rock catches Austin with a back elbow and puts the boots to him. Owen tags in and grabs a sleeperhold to put Austin down. His arm drops once, twice, BUT NOT THREE TIMES. As Austin tries to come back, Owen lowblows him. He looks for the Sharpshooter, but Austin rakes the eyes. Owen reaches the Rock for a tag, but Rocky cuts off Austin and then punches him in the balls. He grabs a chinlock, but Austin fights up. Rock looks for the Rock Bottom, but elbows Rock away only to run into a double-KO. Both guys tag out. Taker runs wild on the Nation. Chokeslam to Owen! Rock breaks up the pin, but then Austin takes Rocky to the floor to beat him up. Meanwhile, Taker delivers a TOMBSTONE to Owen for the win to retain the WWF tag belts. (11:13) Immediately, Mankind and Kane jump the Undertaker. Austin has no idea as he’s choking the life out of the Rock down at ringside. While Mankind has the MANDIBLE CLAW applied, Kane goes to whack the Undertaker with a chair only to have the Undertaker duck so that Kane DRILLS Mankind instead. GEEZ. Ross wonders who Kane was aiming for there. Taker grabs the chair away from Kane and nails Mankind again over the head. GEEZ. Nothing physical happening between Kane and the Undertaker. The New Age Outlaws run down and attack Kane. Austin finally joins the other guys. Taker is beating up Owen. Mankind is DONE. The last shot we see from the ring shows Austin landing a STONE COLD STUNNER to Road Dogg! Good tag match, actually. ***

Security has finally broken into the KAIENTAI locker room. Val’s tights are at his ankles, his butt is pixelated, and his hands are tied hanging from the ceiling. TAKA holds back his sister Mrs. Yamaguchi while Yamaguchi-san lifts the Samurai sword high in the air. The picture goes black and all we can hear is a whack and screaming. HE CHOPPY-CHOPPIED VAL’S PEE-PEE.

Imagine if you will, going back to August 1994 (for example at a time when the WWF was very conservative and Nickelodeon-kid friendly), and explaining to Vince McMahon that on his flagship television show Monday Night RAW in just four short years, a gang of Japanese guys are going to castrate another man because this man had sex with the Japanese gang’s manager’s wife. YEAH.

How the WWF changed in a relatively short amount of time and gained a much bigger audience is quite mind boggling. Now look at the difference WWE 2021 and WWE 2017. They have lost so much of their audience because it’s just not different enough. It’s never different enough.

That’s going to do it for this week. Until next time, so long for now.