WCW: Thunder
August 13, 1998
Fargo, ND
Fargodome

The current WCW champs are as follows:
WCW World Champion: Bill Goldberg (7/6/1998)
WCW U.S. Champion: Lex Luger (8/10/1998)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: The Giant & Scott Hall (7/20/1998)
WCW World Television Champion: Chris Jericho (8/10/1998)
WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Juventud Guerrera (8/8/1998)

HOUR NUMBER ONE! Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, and Bobby Heenan.

• Scott Hall vs. Konnan

Before the match begins, Hall comes out and does his weekly survey – calls himself the “Super Sexy – the Nash Killer”. Konnan does his weekly bit as well. Hall makes Konnan take the toothpick so Konnan slaps him back. Hall shoulderblocks the shoulder and grabs a hammerlock, but then Konnan elbows out. Hall applies an armbar and slaps Konnan around. Konnan escapes with a drop toehold and paintbrushes Hall for the lulz. Hall wants a test of strength and suckers Konnan in a right hand. The Fallaway Slam gets two. Hall chops away on Konnan and clotheslines him in the corner. Looks like he got poked in the eye there. He slaps on an abdominal stretch and grabs the top rope for leverage. When he’s caught by the ref, Konnan hiptosses Hall away and then whiffs on an elbow drop. Here comes Konnan though as he delivers a K-Factor. HALL WON’T GO DOWN THOUGH. Konnan delivers a Rolling Clothesline and starts up the turnbuckle smashes, but Hall low blows him. Whoops. Konnan stops the Outsider’s Edge with an inside cradle for two, but Hall gets up and clobbers him with a clothesline. OUTSIDER’S EDGE gets the win. (6:41) More of a main event for WCW Saturday Night at this point. *

Tony Schiavone looks ahead to Fall Brawl: Wargames on September 13 thinking the Wargames match should include the nWo Black and White against the nWo Wolfpac.

WCW Saturday Night! Watch it – IF YOU WILL! 6:05PM eastern time on TBS! Dean Malenko, Curt Hennig, and Raven and the Flock will be in action! It’s the MUTHASHIP! Take it to the PAY WINDAH, baby! I don’t even know why I still do the Dusty Rhodes jokes. He hasn’t been commentating on this show for like a year.

• Raven (w/Lodi) vs. Horace

Raven takes a drink to the face on his way to the ring. Here’s a rematch from Nitro as Raven wants to make Horace pay some more. Raven runs wild to start. Lodi brings him the stop sign, but then Raven turns back around to Horace and eats a boot and the stop sign. Cover, 1-2-NO! A flying splash from Horace gets two. More stop sign violence. He tries another flying splash and connects for two. With the stop sign leaned up in the corner, Horace goes to run into Raven and misses only to connect with the sign. Raven throws him to the floor for the Russian legsweep onto the guardrail. Back inside, Raven calls out to Lodi to help him out. Lodi doesn’t seem too excited and gets slapped. Riggs, Kidman, and Sick Boy start stomping Horace for a DQ? (3:20) HUH? Saturn comes out and directs the Flock to stop hurting Horace. Raven sits down in the corner and calls for Saturn to come fight. While Saturn walks towards Raven, HORACE clotheslines Saturn down. The Flock now start stomping Saturn. Hey look, here comes Kanyon. Raven bail. Kanyon starts cleaning house on the Flock. FLATLINER to Sick Boy! Electric chair drop facebuster to Kidman. Bro, this is a fight. What are you even doing? Kanyon turns around and takes a suplex from Saturn. WHAT? Raven is back in the ring. He throws Horace to Saturn who gives him a T-bone suplex. When you make things so complicated, your commentators can’t explain it and the crowd is confused, it’s time to shut down the whole deal. This was similar to the match we just saw on Nitro and I honestly prefer that one. ½*

Tony Schiavone is our Mean Gene tonight. He brings out Stevie Ray to find out what’s going on. He wants the Giant who cost him his brother’s TV title next week on Thunder. NOW CAN YOU DIG IT? Tonight, Stevie Ray is wrestling Eddie Guerrero. HUH?

This Week in WCW Motorsports: FFWD.

• WCW World Television Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/Pepe)

Apparently, Pepe has been fixed since Jericho beat Chavo with him on Nitro. We can all rest easy. Jericho backs Chavo into the ropes during a tie-up. There’s a clean break and Chavo hauls off and slaps him. Jericho applies a wristlock, but Chavo escapes and armdrags him into the corner. He stomps the crap out of Jericho, but then runs into a boot. Jericho grabs a headlock and gets shoved off into the ropes, but shoulderblocks Chavo down. Chavo delivers a drop toehold and starts doing the cabbage patch dance like he’s Road Dogg. He bites Jericho on the butt now like he’s JYD as Jericho escapes out to the floor. Pepe is in the ring and Chavo rides him around the ring. This is happening. Back in, Chavo chops Jericho up against the ropes as we go to commercial. When we come back, the cameraman is looking at Pepe and he’s got a bandage on his face. Lionsault gets two. Big vertical suplex and the C’MON BABY gets two as well. Jericho pulls back on the arms and when Chavo mounts a comeback, Jericho kicks him down and chops him in the corner. Chavo avoids a corner charge with a boot, but then eats a spinning heel kick for two. Guerrero surprises Jericho with a clothesline and then unloads on him in the corner. Big running elbow smash in the corner sets up a springboard bulldog for 1-2-NO! Chavo then atomic drops Jericho into the corner where Pepe is hanging out. Jericho grabs Pepe and tears it up again. Oh boy. Chavo charges Jericho and gets rolled up for two. Jericho knocks him to the floor where Chavo grabs a PEPE BASEBALL BAT from under the ring. He whacks Jericho for the DQ and then rides the “stick horse” around the ring. (10:16) Not sure what Chavo used to whacked Jericho with, but nevertheless he’s lost his chance at the TV title. It looks like it was two baseball bats wrapped together for some reason. Okay match. Just too much silly. Also, even though Jericho is now the TV champ, it still feels like he’s the cruiserweight champ, no? *½

TBS DINNER AND A MOVIE: This week, Hollywood Hogan helps out as they will be showing “Mr. Nanny” (1993) starring Hulk Hogan himself. On the menu this week are “Hollywood Hulk Hoagies!”

HOUR NUMBER TWO! Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, and Bobby Heenan. They take us back to Nitro with EXCITING STILL SHOTS of Lex Luger defeating Bret Hart for the U.S. title. Tony claims Luger has had quite a year since he’s won the WCW world tag titles and now the U.S. title despite being the third wheel in the “Freebird-rule” tag title run of the nWo Wolfpac. I guess it still counts, but it really doesn’t feel like Luger has had “quite a year”.

Bret Hart comes to the ring to talk up tonight’s main event with Luger. He’s wearing the awesome Hollywood Hogan t-shirt again. Now that he’s lost, Bret cries that the whole audience is against him. He won’t lose tonight and the people will see he’s the best there is, best there was, and the best there ever will be. He is 100% ready tonight and calls the crowd scum. He will win back the U.S. title and the people will be sorry they made his life a living hell. Tonight, Luger will be excellently executed – like it or not.

Get your nWo Wolfpac t-shirt for only $20 bucks.

• Alex Wright & Disco Inferno (w/Tokyo Magnum) vs. Public Enemy

We’ve come to the end of the near three year run of Public Enemy. How they had managed to be here this long is nothing short of incredible. Rocco Rock starts off with Wright and he takes a nasty backdrop to the floor where he bumps his back on the apron. Wright gives him a baseball slide and brings him back in the ring. Rocco stops him up top and tries a superplex, but Wright sends him to the mat. In the ring, Wright gives him a back suplex and starts stomping him, but then decides he wants to dance. A slingshot splash hits knees and now Wright gets double-teamed. Disco tags in and takes a double flapjack from PE. Rocco and Disco collide. Wright and Grunge start brawling, but then Wright runs into a tilt-a-whirl slam. In comes the table, Wright pulls Tokyo Magnum into the splash from Grunge. He’s done. Wright grabs Grunge and delivers a reverse neckbreaker for the win. (3:25) Isn’t that Wright’s finish when he does the Berlyn gimmick next year? MENG comes out and starts destroying the Dancing Fools with TONGAN DEATH GRIPS. Barbarian and Jimmy Hart run out. They both take TONGAN DEATH GRIPS. Public Enemy receive the same fate. WCW Security faces the TONGAN DEATH GRIP. EVERYBODY IS DOWN. WHERE IS THIS HEADING? ½*

Get your Big Sexy Kevin Nash t-shirt for only $20 bucks.

• Kevin Nash vs. Curt Hennig (w/Rick Rude)

WOLFPAC IN DA HOUSE~! He and Goldberg talked over a beer after Nitro and things are good now. There’s a red and black t-shirt waiting for Goldberg. Heenan has obviously seen the movie “Fargo” as he makes some jokes. I believe this is the only one-on-one meeting between these two. They wrestled on WWF house shows in the fall of 1993, but never on TV. Nash is in total control with knees in the corner and a big boot choke. Rude helps Hennig avoid a big boot in the corner from Nash. He goes right for the leg, but Nash legdrops his way out. Here comes the Snake Eyes and the Bossman straddle. Big boot connects. Knowing what’s next, RICK RUDE gets in the ring and clobbers ref Nick Patrick for another DQ finish. (3:30) Rude takes off his jacket and tie. He’s ready to go one-on-one with Nash. With Nash’s back turned to the tunnel, Scott Hall comes out and joins Hennig and Rude to stomp a mudhole in Nash. Crowd wants Goldberg, but they just get Lex Luger. ¾*

Get your nWo Wolfpac t-shirt for only $20 bucks.

• Eddie Guerrero vs. Stevie Ray

Poor Eddie is here to bump around for the big man. Scott Hall and the Giant watch on from the tunnel drinking Alexout of Solo cups. Eddie can’t do anything he normally does here. It’s really sad to watch. Crowd thinks “Eddie sucks dick”. The SLAPJACK ends Eddie in 4:05.  ½*

MFGWLM after tonight’s Thunder: This week, it’s “To Live and Die in L.A.” (1985) starring William Petersen (I bet he would be great on a CSI show), Willem Dafoe, and John Pankow.

• WCW U.S. Heavyweight Championship: Lex Luger (c) vs. Bret Hart

The big question is can Lex beat Bret TWICE in one week. Not likely. Much like the first match, they start off slow with headlocks and shoulderblocks. Bret won’t break clean in the corner and starts pounding on Lex. A slam and a legdrop gets two. Luger fires back and tries the ten-count corner punch, but Bret counters with a hotshot. Bret stomps and chokes down in the corner. He headbutts Luger down for a headbutt to the nuts and then delivers a stomp to the stomach. Bret is just awesome infuriating the crowd. Schiavone and Heenan give Tenay crap for using words like “hell” quoting Bret from earlier in the night. Hilarious. Bret catapults Luger’s throat into the bottom rope. Russian legsweep gets two. A hard whip into the corner sets up a backbreaker, but he misses the elbow drop. Luger starts to come back with a series of clotheslines and the Bionic Forearm! When Bret gets up, Luger clotheslines him out to the floor. Not good. Bret brings a chair in the ring, but Luger clotheslines him down again. Lex grabs the chair, but the ref gets involved. Bret shoves them both into the corner. He grabs Lex and gives him a DDT on the chair. Bret then wakes up the ref and covers Lex for 1-2-NO! Bret is ready to slug the ref. It’s SHARPSHOOTER time. Lex is out and Bret regains the U.S. title. (9:38) Another Nitro rematch and again the match isn’t different enough to make it more interesting. Bret carries Luger through two matches in three days here. **

WHAT’S GOING ON HERE? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HATES WHEN WCW DOES CUTESY PLANT INSIDER BULLSHIT LIKE THIS?

Back over to HeAT next! Until then, so long for now.