WWF: Raw is War
October 5, 1998
East Lansing, MI
Breslin Arena

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: Vacant (9/28/1998)
Intercontinental Champion: Triple H (8/30/1998)
World Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws (8/30/1998)
European Champion: X-Pac (9/21/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku (12/7/1997)
Women’s Champion: Jacqueline (9/21/1998)

AUSTIN IS RAISING HELL! STONE COLD! STONE COLD IS HERE! HE’S GOING TO CRASH MCMAHON’S PARTY! OH YEAH! AUSTIN GOT MCMAHON! AUSTIN GOT MCMAHON! AUSTIN GOT MCMAHON! The cops are cuffing Austin. He ain’t through with ya, Vince. He ain’t through with ya – not yet by a long shot. Since the Undertaker and Kane didn’t live up to their end of the deal, Vince won’t live up to his end either. DOUBLE BIRDS. Kane and the Undertaker are STOMPING THE OWNER OF THIS COMPANY! Kiss your ankle goodbye, Vince.

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

• WWF European Championship: X-Pac (c) (w/Chyna) vs. D’Lo Brown (w/Mark Henry)

D’Lo won a five-way elimination match last week to earn a rematch with X-Pac. Chyna keeps an eye on Mark Henry while the crowd lets them know what they think of D’Lo. She gets served another paper from some creep-o process server. Chyna crumbles up the paper and looks PISSED. Henry laughs it up so obviously he’s behind it. X-Pac looks to be in trouble as Brown dominates with an elbow drop and a side slam for two. D’Lo misses the Lo Down, which starts a comeback from X-Pac. Big spinning heel kick connects as does a jumping lariat. Here comes the Bronco Buster. D’Lo feigns an injury so that Henry can try and trip up X-Pac. When it fails, X-Pac tries to take Henry out with a pescado only to get caught and driven into the ringpost. Henry throws X-Pac back inside the ring. Suddenly, D’Lo is fine and hits the LO DOWN on the back for the win to regain the Euro title. (5:17) Chyna looks PISSED if you can imagine. **

Elsewhere, Vince is still in the hospital – and he wants APPLE JUICE!

From earlier today, we catch the Oddities and the Insane Clown Posse playing touch football somewhere in East Lansing.

The Headbangers come out and challenge the ICP since they are always getting involved in their business – if they got the marbles. The Oddities come out the tunnel, but the Headbangers just want the ICP. Well, the ICP actually show up and apparently they got the marbles to fight. The ICP assure the Oddities they can handle business and have them head back to the dressing room. Ross and Lawler discuss how CrAzY the ICP are.

• The Headbangers vs. The Insane Clown Posse

Not really a match. The Headbangers just destroy the ICP boys. Shaggy 2 Dope takes a powerbomb off the top from Mosh. Both Violent J and Shaggy take chairshots to the cranium. Violent J receives the STAGE DIVE on a chair, which is all the Oddities can handle as they come down to run off the Headbangers. Thrasher yells that the ICP suck in their own backyard. Ross is unsure what has caused the Headbangers to “turn a new leaf”, but here we are.

We check in with Vince McMahon who is watching RAW. They take us back to last night on SuNDAY NiGHT HeAT when Stone Cold Steve Austin forces a production guy to show him which wire is the satellite link to McMahon’s hospital bed and – RISKING ELECTROCUTION – chops the wires with an axe to make sure Vince can’t communicate with the show.

Recap video airs from last week’s episode of RAW when McMahon calls the Undertaker and Kane handicapped after making the “Judgment Day – In Your House” main event. Vince gives the brothers the double bird. He gets caught, gets his ass whipped, and gets crippled. They even show Vince getting put into the ambulance with Mankind trying to give him a sip from his Big Gulp.

Over at the hospital, a nurse tells McMahon there’s a visitor here to see him, but Vince doesn’t want any visitors – certainly not any big angry ones like the nurse is describing. Oh, it’s just Mankind. He’s brought balloons and candy to cheer McMahon up! The happy face sticker on his shirt is a nice touch. Mankind has brought a special visitor with him who really wants to see Vince – some “female entertainment” if you catch his drift. Apparently, she does a trick with a dog that you wouldn’t believe. It’s Yurple the Clown! She’s got a rainbow balloon to present to Vince to show him there are brighter days ahead. Meanwhile, Mankind is blowing some loud whistle in Vince’s ear over and over again. Yurple gives Vince a happy face sticker and makes him a balloon dog. How nice! Next thing we know, Mankind hits the floor and brings out one final guest – a sock puppet that he’s named Mr. Socko. Yes folks, the Socko Era has begun. Vince is ready to cry as Mr. Socko wants to kiss Vince’s boo-boo. Completely overwhelmed with Mankind and Yurple’s ridiculous efforts, he yells at them both to leave. Mr. Socko? What in the world. It’ll NEVER get over.

Sable is NEXT.

As Sable makes her way to the ring, Ross and Lawler discuss their women’s prison fantasies as she will be appearing on “Pacific Blue” this Sunday night as a woman behind bars. Sable will be joining Ross and Lawler for guest commentary on this next match and before she sits down, she shakes hands with a blonde-haired woman sitting behind the announce table who seems very endeared with her.

• Marc Mero (w/Jacqueline) vs. Vader

Sable challenges Jacqueline for a WWF Women’s title match since she’s been in some “intense training” to capture the gold. I’ve yet to see an actual championship belt. Mero ducks out to avoid Vader. He puts Jackie in between he and Vader and Jackie seems ready to thrown down with him. Well, Vader just gets back in the ring and gets stomped by Mero. Body attack by Vader sends Mero back out to the floor. Vader follows him out and Mero throws Jackie into Vader so he can cheapshot him. Jacqueline even jumps on Vader’s back and claws on his eyes. The crowd either wants Sable to go after Jackie or they just want Sable. Mero hits the Mr. Wrestling II knee lift and puts down Vader with a clothesline. A slingshot splash from the apron hits knees. Vader avalanches Mero and catches him with a clothesline for a splash off the ropes for two. Jackie heads up top and leaps onto Vader. He just lets her go and while the ref is busy with Jackie, Mero low blows the crap out of Vader’s balls. MARVELOSITY! That’s enough for the “upset” win despite Vader being booked to lose nearly every week on TV for the last year. (4:14) Jacqueline dares Sable to get in the ring with her and it looks like Sable will go right after her. Mero says Sable is upset because she could never satisfy him. He takes a slap across the face, but then Jackie forearms her down, which looked pretty stiff. Jackie then pulls out some scissors and clips off a hunk of Sable’s extensions. SHOCKING. ¾*

Checking back in with Vince, he’s giving the doctor a hard time over having his temperature taken. Thankfully, it’s being taking orally.

Steven Regal – he squeezes his own orange juice like a REAL man’s man.

They take us back to moments ago when Marc Mero and Jackie attacked Sable and cut her hair. You’ll be fine, Sable. You still have your HUGE boobies.

• Owen Hart vs. Edge

We learn that Edge and Christian – the new guy who shows up at Edge’s matches with Gangrel – are actually brothers. Owen comes out wearing his street clothes as we look back at the Owen Driver given to Dan Severn last week on RAW. Last night on HeAT, X-Pac got a win over Owen when he essentially chose not to fight back against him. Owen gets on the mic and tells the world that he feels bad over hurting Dan Severn. He apologizes for what happened, lays down the mic, and walks out. So yeah, no match. Edge “wins” via forfeit.

WWF REWIND (brought to you by 10-10-321): WARZONE, 9/28/98. Stone Cold Steve Austin drives a Zamboni to the ring and leaps off the Zamboni to clothesline McMahon.

Michael Cole catches up with Owen Hart backstage and Owen has his bags with him heading for the door. Owen tells Cole that “it’s over” and continues to leave the building.

ENTER THE WARZONE! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

• Kane vs. Ken Shamrock

While Kane enters, we split screen it with another shot of Mr. McMahon watching from his hospital bed. Shamrock tries to stick and move to charley horse a leg, but Kane fires back on him with uppercuts. Kane catches a crossbody block and drops Shamrock over his knee. Shamrock tries to come back with a hurracanrana, but Kane counters with a powerbomb. Kane choke lifts Shamrock and drops him down to choke him in the ropes. This is a weird matchup for Shamrock who just turned heel. Shamrock elbows out of a chinlock only to run into a knee. Running elbow drop by Kane gets two. Shamrock again escapes and runs into a boot. Hey look, here comes the UNDERTAKER. Nobody knows why he’s here. Shamrock ducks a second big boot and clips the knee. Kane misses a corner charge. Shamrock works hard to take Kane off his feet. He delivers the Hurracanrana, but Kane pops up. Kane avoids the armbar takedown and clotheslines Shamrock down. As Kane goes up top, Taker climbs to the apron. Shamrock takes a swing at the Undertaker and as UT hits the floor, that causes Kane to get crotched up in the corner. Whoopsie. Taker leaves Kane behind to take a superplex and Shamrock covers Kane for the “upset” win. (7:11) Now JR and King discuss whether or not Taker cost Kane the match on purpose. IT’S ANOTHER CONSPIRACY! Kane rushes off to find his brother. This match looks better on paper than in execution. ¾*

Elsewhere, Val Venis finds Terri Runnels’ wedding ring on her vagina. Seriously, these two act like they are on ecstasy.

• Val Venis (w/Terri Runnels) vs. Gangrel (w/Christian)

Venis makes a cheap “Magic Johnson” joke since we’re here in East Lansing. It draws some boos. It’s supposed to offend basketball fans, but I think it offends comedy fans more than anything else. Ross and Lawler wonder what the relationship is between Gangrel and Christian. JR considers reading up on “Gothic Lifestyles” so they can better understand these two. Venis shuts down Gangrel’s early offense with a spinebuster. He follows up with kitchen sink knees and a Russian legsweep. Venis does the Rick Rude pose over him. Terri chimes in from the floor. Gangrel comes back with a arm trap suplex for two. EDGE shows up from the crowd and confronts his brother. When Gangrel sees him, he shoots out to the floor and drops Edge with the IMPALER DDT. As Gangrel and Christian stomp Edge, the ref counts out Gangrel to give Val the win. (2:35) After Val and Terri celebrate, Goldust’s movie usher guy appears and gives Val a “golden envelope”. He opens the envelope and reads the golden stationery. A familiar theme starts playing and the lights go dim. As Terri rips up the paper, the voice of Goldust promises a World Premiere, next week on RAW. Gold dust falls from the ceiling while Val and Terri look quite concerned.

They take us back to SuNDAY NiGHT HeAT to show Steve Austin joining Shane McMahon for guest commentary and threatening him during the Rock/Jeff Jarrett main event. At the end of the match, Austin tore into Jeff Jarrett and Dennis Knight with Stone Cold Stunners. Once the dust had settled, Steve Austin and the Rock locked eyes.

We check back in with Vince McMahon at the hospital. He’s asking for another nurse and something extra for the pain.

• Jeff Jarrett vs. Al Snow (w/Head)

Some guy in the crowd has a sign that says he wants Head, but I’m not sure Al is the guy to give it to him. No Southern Justice this week – at least not yet. Dennis Knight is still licking his Stone Cold Stunner wounds, I suppose. Does the crowd love “Head” more than Al Snow? Jarrett and Snow go back and forth to start. Snow gets distracted by Head’s instructions, allowing Jarrett to capitalize. Out comes the trapping headbutts to Jarrett. We go to the floor where Snow grabs a chair, but Jarrett punches him down to avoid all that. Hey look, it’s COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER. He instructs the ref about something while Snow comes back and leaps off the chair for a one-man Poetry in Motion on Jarrett. While Snow acts like he’s going to sneak up on Slaughter, Jarrett wallops him with the chair across the back of the head. More ringside violence ensues. Crowd chants “Head” to try and get Snow back in this match. In the ring, Snow lands an enziguri and swings Head at Jarrett. He misses, but slams Jarrett. Time to go up top with Head, but Slaughter shakes the ropes to cause Snow to fall and Jarrett gets DQ’ed. (4:16) Ref Jack Doane is going to have hell to pay now that he crossed the Commissioner. Despite Jarrett getting DQ’ed, Slaughter seems satisfied with himself. *½

• Road Dogg (w/X-Pac) vs. Mark Henry (w/D’Lo Brown)

Road Dogg comes out wearing both WWF tag belts and has dressed up a blow up doll named Mona (or Mrs. Ass) to play the part of Billy Gunn who is still AWOL as far as we know. We learn that Mark Henry is suing Chyna for sexual harassment, leading to Ross making a comment about America being “lawsuit crazy”, to which Lawler of course agrees. Road Dogg has to find a way to deal with Henry’s power game. The Shake Rattle and Roll lands, but it takes a jumping forearm smash to put him down. The Shaky Knee Drop gets only a one-count. Henry bounces back with a powerslam and whips Road Dogg from corner to corner. Road Dogg tries mounting a comeback, but D’Lo trips him up for a running legdrop from Henry. X-Pac stalks D’Lo who backs up into Chyna. D’Lo takes a right hand from Chyna. While the ref deals with Chyna, X-Pac is in the ring and gives Henry the X-FACTOR. Road Dogg jumps on top of Henry and manages to get the three-count. (3:41) Afterwards, Henry is PISSED and chases after DX with a chair. *

We cut to Mr. McMahon in the hospital. Get this man some more apple juice! Who Vince really needs in this time of need is Lucille Bluth. She knows how to get people juice in hospitals.

They replay highlights of the whole Zamboni Incident and the aftermath from last week one more time. Back over to the hospital, Vince McMahon is having his blood pressure taken by the nurse. Looks like his blood pressure is normal. Turns out the doctor is in fact STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. The nurse freaks out and runs away while Steve Austin opens up a can of whoopass on Vince. He beats on Vince’s broken ankle and knocks him off the bed with the bed pan revealing Vince’s tighty whiteys. Austin then puts Vince back on the bed, uses the defibrillator pads, and then sticks an enema tube up where the sun doesn’t shine. The show is then blacked out and we go to commercial to end a famous series of segments from the Attitude Era.

After the break, we get to see Vince being abused by Dr. Austin again.

• The Undertaker vs. The Rock

Ross is super psyched for this match. Taker goes right after the Rock to start. The jumping clothesline gets two. Hey look, here comes D’LO BROWN and MARK HENRY. Taker keeps an eye on them and the Rock clotheslines him out in front of them. Rock and Taker brawl at ringside as Taker gets whipped into the steps. Back inside, Rock starts laying the smackdown on Taker as KANE walks out to ringside. Rock sees Kane and talks some smack, but then turns around into a Chokeslam by Taker. Meanwhile, D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry decide to leave the Rock behind while Kane remains at ringside. Taker covers Rock for two. Old School connects for another nearfall. Taker grabs a chinlock, but Rock fights up and hits a back suplex. Lawler is real concerned with Vince showing his underwear. Taker throws Rock to the floor for some guardrail action. Back in, the Undertaker continues to pound away on the Rock. Taker leers over at his brother. Rock tries to come back with a sunset flip of all things for two. When was the last time you saw a sunset flip in the WWF? Taker runs down Rock for another nearfall. Rock punches back, but gets pulled into a clothesline. Whoa, Rock finds an O’Connor roll for two. He knocks down the Undertaker for another nearfall himself. Big boot by Taker puts down the Rock and he gets another two-count. Kane is just standing there staring at the match. Taker tries Old School again, but Rock jerks Taker down. There’s a swinging neckbreaker on Taker for two. Rock gets away from a Tombstone Piledriver and delivers a Russian legsweep to set up the PEOPLE’S ELBOW! Knowing it’s going to take more than that, he picks up Taker only to get nailed. Taker runs into an elbow in the corner. Rock inadvertently pulls Taker into ref Earl Hebner to send him crashing to the mat. Next thing you know, there’s a double-KO. Of course, now Kane can do his thing. He grabs a chair, but doesn’t do anything more just yet. Both Taker and Rock are back up. Rock reverses a whip into the ropes and Kane drills Taker in the back with the chair! Taker then staggers into the ROCK BOTTOM, but there’s still no ref. As Kane heads for the locker room, Taker sits up and plants Rock with the TOMBSTONE on the chair! Taker then gets rid of the chair and Hebner slowly counts the pinfall. (12:50) Taker angrily looks toward the entryway to end the show. **

Until next time, so long for now.

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MAIN EVENT:
The WWF Championship with Special Guest Referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin
The Undertaker vs. Kane