WWF: Raw is War
October 19, 1998
Milwaukee, WI
Bradley Center

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: Vacant (9/28/1998)
Intercontinental Champion: Ken Shamrock (10/12/1998)
World Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws (8/30/1998)
European Champion: X-Pac (10/18/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: Christian (10/18/1998)
Women’s Champion: Jacqueline (9/21/1998)

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

It’s a ticker tape parade because STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IS GONE! That’s right folks. When Austin decided not to make a decision on a new WWF champion last night at Judgment Day, Mr. McMahon followed through with his promise and FIRED Steve Austin. What’s left of the WWF roster come down to the ring as the stooges, the Big Bossman, and the K-9 unit circle around a wheelchaired Mr. McMahon because he has an announcement. As a result of a decision of a man no longer employed by the WWF, we still do not have a WWF champion. On the night of November 15 at Survivor Series, Vince *guarantees* there will be an undisputed WWF champion because there’s going to be a 16-man tournament to make it so. Crowd starts to chant “asshole” in Vince’s direction. He’s damn proud of it, so whatevs. Switching gears, he repeats what he said to Steve Austin last night in case anyone doesn’t believe it really happened: “Austin, SCREW YOU! You’re fired.” Vince tells somebody on the production team to show a still up on the TitanTron of Austin’s reaction. In response to Austin’s comment about “starting hunting season early” last night, Vince says he must have meant “hunting for a job.” Lawler has a good laugh over that. If Austin ever enters an arena where a WWF show is being held, Vince says he’ll have to buy a ticket just like everybody else. Now people are wondering what it’s like to have the “balls” to fire your most popular wrestler. It felt “pretty damn good” to Vince to fire Austin. In fact, it even felt great. This morning, however, it felt better than SEX to have fired Steve Austin. JR thinks Vince is just plain wicked. He addresses the WWF roster hoping they have learned a lesson to never cross the boss – because none of them are as big as Vince McMahon. Vince mentions another rumor that Austin 3:16 t-shirts are collector’s items because they won’t be made anymore. However, there’s a new expression that will soon sweep the globe: McMahon 3:16, which states, “I’ve got the brass to fire your ass.” Next thing we know, STEVE AUSTIN appears on the TitanTron with his hunting rifle. Ross explains that’s a live shot and he’s at the building. OH SNAP.

After some commercials, Vince McMahon and his security entourage follow him back to his office. First things first, he wants the Big Bossman to go get his family in the building out of town. He also wants a cameraman to stay in his office so everything can be documented.

Elsewhere, Steve Austin is shown sitting in his truck cleaning his rifle. Ross really hopes cooler heads will prevail.

• X-Pac (w/Chyna) vs. Ken Shamrock

We get a rematch from last week’s IC title tournament final. Neither title these guys own are on the line. Earlier today, we catch D-Generation X hanging out with Motley Crue in their tour bus. They will be appearing on RAW next week. Road Dogg drops a couple “F” bombs for fun. Naturally, the only one Lawler cares about is the guy who did a sex tape with Pamela Anderson. Shamrock BUM RUSHES THE SHOW and punishes X-Pac with kicks and suplexes. He grinds on a front facelock while two more security guys head down to ringside to escort Chyna away in handcuffs. She’s under arrest! Meanwhile, X-Pac fights back with spinning heel kicks, but runs into a powerslam by Shamrock for two. Shamrock baits him into a Bronco Buster and lets X-Pac land on the bottom buckle. It looks like MANKIND is late because Shamrock takes his time getting to the Anklelock as Mankind comes down to chat with Shamrock. He brings Mankind into the ring, but gets the MANDIBLE CLAW. Shamrock breaks loose with a Belly to Belly Suplex, but then he staggers around into an X-FACTOR for the win. (4:16) X-Pac runs backstage to find out what happened to Chyna. Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, and eventually X-Pac shows up to yell at the policemen taking Chyna away, but it doesn’t really matter. *

Policemen hanging around after the squad car leaves stop Steve Austin sitting in his truck. He ain’t bothering nobody! Austin shows them his .38 special. The gun is hidden by Austin’s open truck door. The plain clothes officers ask for an autograph for their kids. One of the guy’s son’s name is Bret. LOL. With a big smirk on his face, Austin asks the officer how Bret’s doing. OH boy.

Elsewhere, Vince McMahon is FREAKING OUT. He can’t believe the police officers are asking Austin for autographs when he’s a mad man with a gun!

After the break, Vince tells the K-9 policeman to take his canine and go arrest Steve Austin. Use your firearm if you need to. That really pisses off the officer, so he tells Vince to go screw himself and leaves with the dog. Vince goes back to FREAKING OUT because he needs protection from the lunatic!

• The Headbangers vs. Animal & Droz (w/Hawk)

The Headbangers are wearing foam belts and doing their own “New Age Outlaws” schtick. Mosh and Animal go back and forth brawling to start. Powerslam by Animal gets two. There’s a double BAAAACK BODY DROP to Mosh. Tag to Thrasher, the ‘Bangers give Droz a double gourdbuster that nearly lands him straight on his head, which made me cringe knowing what his future holds. Droz finds a sitout powerbomb on Thrasher for two. The match breaks down as the Headbangers collide. Animal takes out Mosh to the floor while Thrasher grabs Droz (who was talking to Hawk) and rolls him up with a handful of tights for the win. (1:55) There’s problems in the Legion of Doom, folks! ½*

Backstage, Pat Patterson tries to calm down Mr. McMahon with some coffee. Brisco and Slaughter both leave with Patterson because I guess it takes three people to get coffee for one guy. Now Vince is ALL ALONE!

When we return, Vince is shown in his dressing room and somebody knocks at the door. It’s just Mankind and new head of security “Sheriff Socko”. Mankind brings him some candy corn because Vinnie has a sweet tooth! Vince says he’s happy to see him because everybody else has deserted him. Mankind continues to talk through Mr. Socko, which is just great stuff. He sits down on the couch hoping for a sleepover and tells Vince he’s wanting them to really get to know each other. Vince seems quite reluctant.

Back out to the ring, here comes the UNDERTAKER with Paul Bearer. I guess we’re going to find out why they are back together after Judgment Day. Turns out they have reconciled because Paul Bearer will lead the Undertaker’s “Ministry of Darkness”. Why? Because Paul Bearer is EVIL, that’s why. Paul Bearer has vision and truly understands the power of the darkness. He allowed the Undertaker to clear his head and refocus on his purpose in the WWF. We have a beginning of a new era as the Ministry of Darkness will plague the WWF like no other and won’t be understood by anyone not part of the darkness. Basically, you’re either part of the darkness or you’re AGAINST the darkness. Paul Bearer gets on the mic and puts down Kane for being weak and stupid. He’ll never understand the darkness and that’s why Paul Bearer is through with him. Ross calls Bearer a “rotund demon”. Back over to the Undertaker, he admits he was the one who started the fire that burned Kane all those years ago. I don’t remember that part of the Billy Joel song, but whatever. He set the fire because Kane was WEAK, but there’s no room for the weak – because only the strong will survive. As Undertaker’s eyes roll back, Kane’s music hits and he comes down rolling a casket onto the stage. Kane challenges the Undertaker to a casket match. RIP, brother. Can somebody seriously make sense out of who burned who and when and what and how and why? I sure can’t.

Over to Vinnie Mac’s office, Mankind and Vince are eating snacks. Looks like Mankind is trying to convince McMahon to rehire Steve Austin to form a four person clique (Kliq?): McMahon, Austin, Mankind, and of course Mr. Socko. Vince explains he had to fire Austin on principle, which is something Mankind could never understand. He pulls out a Twister board to go into commercial.

When we come back, Vince yells at Mankind for playing Twister and kicks him out of his office. VINCE DOESN’T WANT TO PLAY GAMES! HE’S IN DANGER AND MANKIND WANTS TO PLAY GAMES? No time for games, Mick.

ENTER THE WARZONE! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

• Steve Blackman vs. Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra McMichael)

They take us back to last week on RAW when the Blue Blazer attacked Steve Blackman. Ross speculates that the Blue Blazer is Owen Hart. Maybe. This is the WWF debut of Debra McMichael. Not much of a reaction because she looks very different than she did in WCW. Instead of looking like a ridiculous beauty queen, she’s wearing a women’s power suit with a short skirt and her blonde hair is now all poofy. What I’m trying to say is she’s MUCH more attractive here. Ross wonders what their relationship is all about, but Lawler just enjoys Debra’s presence. She’s too old for ya, Jerry. Hard to focus on what’s happening in the ring because there’s SO MUCH happening on this show. It’s back and forth stuff, but who really cares? Hey, is that a “show your tits” chant? Nice way to spend your first night on the job, Debra. The BLUE BLAZER runs out and jumps Blackman with a belly to belly suplex for the DQ. (2:29) Jarrett joins Blazer to put the boots to Blackman. The crowd starts the “nugget” chant as Blazer clears out. AL SNOW and HEAD appear, but they get caught in Debra’s trance allowing Jarrett to KABONG Snow, and also Head for that matter. ¾*

We check in with Vince McMahon and a phone rings. After some deep thought, McMahon finally answers the phone. It’s Steve Austin! Time’s up, you sorry bastard. He’s coming to get you, Vince. McMahon buries his face in his hands.

After a quick break, McMahon is checking with his limo driver to see if Steve Austin is anywhere around. He doesn’t see Austin. Vince asks him to leave the engine running and the back door open. Vince is obviously trying to make a run for it and reaches his limo. As he gets into the car, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN appears on the other side of the car and grabs McMahon! Austin has his hunting bow with him. Must be McMahon season. Austin wheels McMahon back into the Bradley Center, running his injured ankle into stuff along the way. Back into Vince’s office we go, and the door is shut in front of the camera.

The SLAM OF THE WEEK brought to you by WWF War Zone by Acclaim Sports: Judgment Day: In Your House, 10/18/98. X-Pac counters the D’Lo Brown’s Lo Down into the X-FACTOR to regain the Euro title.

Backstage, we rejoin Vince McMahon and Steve Austin. Austin asks McMahon if he’s ever hunted in his life. McMahon says he went hunting once, but it was really only a safari and he took pictures. Austin asks McMahon if a knife like the one in Austin’s hand would take out an elephant. McMahon doesn’t (or can’t) answer him.

• The Rock vs. D’Lo Brown (w/Mark Henry)

Ew, why did they change the Rock’s music? Crowd really seems to think D’Lo sucks. Baack and forth brawling to start. Rock finds a swinging neckbreaker on D’Lo. Henry climbs up onto the apron and that allows Rock to punch D’Lo in the dick behind the ref’s back. D’Lo comes back with his fancy leg drop. Rock gets dumped out in front of Henry. He runs down the Rock and rolls him back inside for two. No mention of Mark Henry beating the Rock last week. Rock comes back with a Samoan Drop and a DDT for two. The People’s Elbow is next, but WHAT ABOUT THE CHEST PROTECTOR? Brown uppercuts Rock and comes off the second rope, but flies down into the ROCK BOTTOM to give Rock the win. (3:43) Henry quickly comes in and the double team is on. There’s a big splash from Henry. Now THAT’S what I call a beatdown. Nobody saves the Rock here except a bunch of WWF officials and referees. Henry gets off one more big splash. D’Lo – “You better recognize, Rock.” *

In the back, Austin cleans his knife and asks Vince if he wants to find out how sharp the knife really is. He gets up quickly, causing Vince to shout “NO!” but Austin is just getting an apple. Austin promises that when Vince DOES go, he won’t feel a thing, and he’ll go just like (snap) that.

After the break, McMahon says he hopes Austin is having fun – because he isn’t getting away with it. Austin says he went hunting, but he didn’t get a deer, he instead got a jackass. Does he even know how a bow works? Austin starts showing him his bow as we head back to the ring.

We catch Tiger Ali Singh and his manservant Babu is in the ring. Babu is “cooking” hot dogs on a charcoal grill. Singh will pay $500 cash to any American who will swallow Babu’s kielbasa whole. Some old bimbo wiggles out over the barricade to take Singh’s offer. Of course, this lady is able to deepthroat the whole thing. And wouldn’t you know it, here comes the GODFATHER. Apparently this chick used to be one of Godfather’s ho’s, so Godfather needs to get paid. He tells Singh that he just paid $500 for something he could have had the whole night for a hell of a lot cheaper. For some reason, Singh decides those are fightin’ words and throws Babu into the Godfather. Singh punches Godfather into a corner, but then Godfather fights back and slams Babu down. We’ve got a bunch of WWF officials who jump in and break it up. Remember fans, in this feud, the face is the PIMP.

Over at McMahon’s office, Austin makes Vince oink like a pig like in “Deliverance”.

When we come back from the break, Austin asks McMahon if he’s ever seen “Misery,” then points to a 2×4 between Vince’s feet. Who knew Austin was such a movie buff? He duct tapes Vince’s mouth shut when he starts yelling for help, and then tapes him into his chair while he goes to look for a sledgehammer to see if it’ll really break his legs. I guess really nobody cares what happens to Vince.

• Mankind vs. Val Venis (w/Terri Runnels)

They replay what went down between Mankind and Ken Shamrock earlier on the show. After that, we get some exciting still shots from the Val Venis versus Goldust match at the Judgment Day PPV. Venis tries to bump and grind, but he’s still feeling some discomfort thanks to Goldust. Venis gets the advantage early and hits a Russian legsweep for two. We catch nine male fans up in the rafters wearing towels and V-A-L-B-O-W-S-K-I written on their chests. Val misses a Bossman straddle, allowing Mankind to come back with a baaaack body drop. He legdrops the nuts and delivers a Double-Arm DDT. Out comes Mr. Socko and the MANDIBLE CLAW. Terri argues with the ref while KEN SHAMROCK appears and jabs Mankind in the knee with a chair. Venis covers Mankind and gets the three-count. (3:35) Mankind and Shamrock brawl outside the ring and out through the crowd. Mankind then finds a chair and wallops Shamrock. ¾*

As they clear out, GOLDUST’s music hits with Val Venis and Terri left alone in the ring. Goldust shows up on the TitanTron quoting “First Blood”. He vows to shatter Val’s dreams again and again so he’ll never forget the name of – Goldust. IT WILL NEVER BE OVER. Terri tries to console Val, who is plenty spooked about Goldust, when she whispers something in his ear. Terri seems happy about what she said to him, but Val turns white and walks off, leaving her in the ring. Oh boy, I don’t like where this is going.

Backstage, turns out that Austin couldn’t find a sledgehammer. Austin still has got big plans for McMahon that don’t even involve physical pain and he’ll carry them out tonight, and Vince won’t even feel a thing.

When we return, Austin asks McMahon if he’s ever seen “You Bet Your Life.” Hmm, Vince Russo must have really liked that show. Austin asks McMahon to pick a winner between the Undertaker and Kane. McMahon doesn’t want to play, but he finally decides to pick Kane. Austin says if Kane wins, he’ll do things the easy way. If there’s any other outcome, they will do things the hard way.

• Casket Match: Kane vs. The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer)

Lawler wonders why McMahon would pick Kane. Hmm. By the way, I hope you didn’t buy Judgment Day to see these two wrestle, because now you’re getting it for free and it’s much shorter! Taker attacks Kane at the thighs just like he did last night. He takes Kane down with a jumping clothesline. Powerslam by Kane, but he ducks his head for a DDT by Taker. Both guys wind up fighting into the casket. Kane puts his boot on Taker’s throat. Taker low blows his way back up and DDTs Kane down. The lid shuts on both guys. Now what? Paul Bearer has armed himself with a chair. Kane and Taker wind up BREAKING OUT of the casket. Taker comes off the apron, but Kane catches him and backs Taker into the apron. Kane then turns his attention to Bearer and stalks him up the aisle. Undertaker catches up to them and nails Kane in the back with a chair. Paul Bearer and Undertaker then walk back through the curtain. When Kane gets up, he follows after them with the chair. (4:40) So uh, no finish, I guess. ¼*

Back in Vince’s office we go. Austin tells McMahon he loses the game, so he’s got something he’s got to do and he’s got to take Vince with him to do it. Vince is pleading with Austin and in tears as we go to commercial – AGAIN.

When we come back, Austin pushes McMahon out of the office and towards the ring. We continue to watch as Austin pushes McMahon from here to there. Ross and Lawler try to kill time explaining the “seriousness” of the moment. Lawler thinks he’s heard a noise. Finally, we see Austin and McMahon show up and go down the ramp (I guess they took a long time to remove the duct tape?) Austin demands McMahon get in the ring and then gets a mic. Vince is on his knees still pleading with Austin. Austin calls for a replay of the party a much more confident Vince threw earlier in the show. Vince hangs his head low and continues to cry. Austin compares the much more confident McMahon on the TitanTron to the sniveling and pathetic looking Vince we see in the ring right now. Austin has something that he wants Vince to read, because it’s going to bring a few more tears to his eyes. He shoves a letter in Vince’s pocket. Austin takes his bow, tells Vince to look at the picture of himself on the TitanTron. Look at his eyes, because they’re fixin’ to pop out of his head. Austin pulls out a gun! He sticks the microphone into the back of Vince’s neck! Vince’s overacting is great. Austin then points the gun at the side of Vince’s head. He pulls the trigger and a flag flies from the gun – “BANG 3:16”. Ross: “Austin was armed – with a toy!” Stone Cold didn’t screw Vince McMahon, it was Vince McMahon that screwed Vince McMahon. Austin goes on to say that McMahon 3:16 must mean “I just pissed my pants,” because the front of Vince’s pants are soaked. And finally, there’s a STONE COLD STUNNER. After much celebration, Austin helps Vince up off his back side, and gives him one more STONE COLD STUNNER for the road. Where did Vince’s stooges go for coffee? WHAT WAS IN THE LETTER?

And that’s it for this week. Until next time, so long for now.