WWF: Raw is War
January 18, 1999
Beaumont, TX
Montagne Center

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: Mankind (1/4/1999)
Intercontinental Champion: Ken Shamrock (10/12/1998)
World Tag Team Champions: The Big Boss Man & Ken Shamrock (12/14/1998)
European Champion: X-Pac (10/18/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: Duane Gill (11/23/1998)
Hardcore Champion: Road Dogg (12/21/1998)
Women’s Champion: Sable (11/15/1998)

We start off with a short and sweet tribute to Martin Luther King, Jr. with Vince doing the voiceover. LONG LIVE THE DREAM. Now let’s get to the ‘rasslin.

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

When you’re in southeastern Texas, it’s only fitting you start the show with STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. Lawler reminds us Austin will be starting the Royal Rumble and goes through the rules. Michael Cole meets Austin in the ring with a microphone and says the very same thing. Austin grabs the mic away and before he talks about the Royal Rumble, he wants to remind everyone of a few weeks ago where Vince almost pissed his pants when Mankind beat the Rock to become the WWF champion. As for Mankind, he and Austin will have to meet at WrestleMania 15 – assuming Austin wins the Rumble. There will be 29 other people who will want to throw Austin over the top rope, but UHH UHH – it ain’t going to happen. Austin asks the crowd if they want him to beat Vince McMahon’s ass all night long, gimme a hell yeah. HELL YEAH. If you want Stone Cold Steve Austin to win the Royal Rumble, gimme a hell yeah. HELL YEAH. When the smoke is cleared at the Rumble, Vince will know Austin 3:16 just whipped his ass. And that’s that. Austin enjoys a beer or two with the crowd. Don’t forget there’s a $100,000 bounty put out on Austin by Vince to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble.

Backstage, we catch the Hardcore champ Road Dogg grabbing some weapons and piling them into a plastic tilt truck for his next match. YOU DAMN RIGHT.

• WWF Hardcore Championship: Road Dogg (c) vs. Gangrel
  

They take us back to last week on RAW when Road Dogg got a “bloodbath” thanks to the Brood. Road Dogg reminds us his name ain’t Buffy, but tonight he will be a Vampire Slayer. He goes through the weekly New Age Outlaws spiel just for fun. While Gangrel is trying to drink blood from his chalice, Road Dogg breaks a kendo stick (or a broomstick?) over the shoulders. As Road Dogg comes off the apron, Gangrel shoots the red mist in his face and breaks another broomstick. They wind up brawling into the crowd and as they end up at the barricade, Road Dogg dumps Gangrel back over to ringside for a two-count. Road Dogg sets up a table into the ring, but Gangrel low blows and powerbombs Road Dogg for 1-2-NO! Road Dogg DDTs Gangrel on the broken pieces and then sets up a table at ringside. Gangrel whacks Road Dogg with a piece of the table and baseball slides into Road Dogg to send him to the floor. He starts using Road Dogg’s plunder he brought to the ring with him, but Road Dogg fights back and puts Gangrel on the table. He runs down the apron and elbow drops Gangrel, but the table won’t break. He leaps off the apron again putting his full body weight onto Gangrel, but the table doesn’t COMPLETELY break. Now one more time from the TOP ROPE, and the table is finally split in half. I suppose. Road Dogg whips Gangrel into the broken table and then gives him a suplex on it. OUCH. Now Road Dogg whacks Gangrel with a chair – TWICE. Cover, 1-2-3. (5:55) This is at a time where they are trying to over the WWF hardcore-style and I think they did a pretty decent job here without doing too much. It makes you wonder what the long term plan was for Road Dogg as Hardcore champion had he not needed time off for drug rehab in February. **

Backstage, we catch Steve Austin thoughtfully consuming another Silver Bullet.

After the break, Ken Shamrock is shown backstage lacing up his boots – even though Vince McMahon gave him the week off.

• Billy Gunn vs. Test

They trade lockups to start. Test does the Kevin Nash knees in the corner and runs down Gunn with a back elbow. The crowd doesn’t like Test, so they start a “suck it” chant. Gunn fights back and hits a vertical suplex to set up a flying elbow from 2/3 across the ring. Test kicks at Gunn’s balls and we go to the floor for some slow ringside brawling. Cole and Lawler are talking about the Royal Rumble. Back in, Test catches Gunn off guard with a swinging neckbreaker and follows up with the Gutwrench Powerbomb. Time for the Pumphandle Slam, but Gunn escapes. Test backdrops away the piledriver, but then telegraphs a backdrop of his own and receives a Rocker Dropper. Hey look, here comes KEN SHAMROCK for the DQ. (5:16) He takes down Gunn with a big lariat. Test exits to the locker room as refs and agents come out. Shamrock takes Gunn to the apron and launches both of them driving Gunn face first to the Cole and Lawler table. SHAMROCK HAS SNAPPED. When the refs won’t let Shamrock get to Gunn, Shamrock kicks over the steel steps and grabs Gunn. He puts him on the bottom half of the steps and applies the ANKLELOCK. This continues for a good 20-30 seconds. As Shamrock releases the hold, the timekeeper and referees (including Tim White) are taking bumps all over the place. Shamrock grabs the timekeeper’s hammer as the crowd is LOUDLY chanting “Shamrock sucks”. Frustrated with the crowd, Shamrock takes the hammer and leaves. Gunn is left at ringside being tended to by the refs holding his left leg in pain. Match was nothing special as Test is still real green. ¾*

When we return from commercials, they replay Ken Shamrock DESTROYING Billy Gunn.

Backstage, we catch the trainer trying to help Billy Gunn with Road Dogg by his side. Time to reset the ankle. Billy Gunn is either selling or he’s the whiniest little girl.

Elsewhere, Kevin Kelly talks with Jeff Jarrett, Owen Hart, and Tits McGee – I mean, Debra. Owen and Jarrett are the number one contenders to the WWF tag titles. Next thing we know, the WWF tag champs Ken Shamrock and Big Boss Man interrupt for a brawl. WWF IS SO HARDCORE!

We get footage of Vince McMahon working out and he cuts a promo to let Steve Austin know he’s ready for the Royal Rumble over some “Gonna Fly Now”-esque music. Symbolizing Steve Austin, Dr. Tom Prichard gets his ass whooped – including the debut of the McMahon Stunner. We catch Vince then throwing a series of masked men over the top rope. Vince mentions that if for some strange reason he somehow gets eliminated, he’s got a hundred thousand reasons why he won’t win. It’s just so good.

When we return, the Big Boss Man has found Mankind and he’s doing a serious number on him backstage. Looks like they are starting their hardcore match a little early tonight. Mankind puts Boss Man through the camera – pretty cool. Picture cuts out on cue.

• Steve Blackman vs. Dan Severn

They take us back to last week on HeAT when Dan Severn turned on Steve Blackman in the Lion’s Den match. Blackman BUM RUSHES THE SHOW on Severn to start. Severn throws away Blackman, but Blackman no-sells only to charge into a double leg takedown. Severn mounts Blackman and punches away, but Blackman kicks back at Severn and delivers a gutwrench drop. Not sure what else to call it. Lawler is playing the role of Bobby Heenan tonight by claiming a different Royal Rumble winner in every segment. Severn avoids the jumping elbow drop and delivers a gutwrench suplex. Blackman avoids Severn’s elbow drop and hits a jumping shoulder block. As he goes to pick up Severn, he gets a low blow and Blackman wins via DQ. (2:31) Severn applies the DRAGON SLEEPER on Blackman. We get a whole bunch of referees to try and get these two separated. 1/2*

Elsewhere, Steve Austin is still standing around backstage drinking.

We check in with Mankind and the Big Boss Man who are STILL brawling in the back. Mankind is shown choking Boss Man with a curtain, but Boss Man responds with a cart to the face. They trade punches and we go to commercial as Boss Man’s head meets a chair cart. OH MY!

We get a nice video package hyping the “I Quit” match between the Rock and Mankind at the Royal Rumble that was played on last night’s HeAT.

ENTER THE WAR ZONE! Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

• Hardcore Match: Mankind vs. The Big Boss Man

Mankind and Boss Man continue brawling from the locker room out from the entrance ramp. Boss Man eats the steps REAL hard. They’re finally in the ring and the bell rings to officially start the match. Boss Man comes back and delivers an avalanche. Mankind avoids a second avalanche and leg drops Boss Man for two. Over in the corner, Mankind punches down Boss Man for the running knee. Back to the floor, Mankind sits Boss Man down at the timekeeper’s table. Boss Man manages to pick Mankind up and dump him on his head on the chair. OUCH. Back inside, the violence continues. Mankind mounts a comeback, but now we’ve got a double-KO. Back up, Boss Man telegraphs a backdrop and receives a Double-Arm DDT for his trouble. Out comes Mr. Socko and the MANDIBLE CLAW is applied. Here comes THE ROCK with a chair – and he blasts Mankind as ref Earl Hebner calls for the bell. (5:17) A DQ, eh? Rock makes a brief stop to provide some extra special commentary and call Mankind a “sonuvabitch” and then returns to the ring and delivers the ROCK BOTTOM ON THE CHAIR to Mankind. **

Backstage, Mark Henry pleads with Chyna to not do what she’s gonna do. There’s no convincing her of not telling whatever she is about to tell everybody, Mark!

Elsewhere, Steve Austin is sleeping off the beers he had earlier.

SLAM OF THE WEEK (brought to you by Nestle Crunch): RAW, 1/11/99. Vince McMahon eliminates Triple H and the Boss Man in the Corporate Rumble, followed by Chyna eliminating Vince McMahon thanks to a distraction from Steve Austin.

Backstage, Vince McMahon explains to Kane that while he can’t affect the match that Commissioner Shawn Michaels made between him and the Rock, but he can certainly affect the kind of match that Kane *has* with the Rock.

CHYNA comes out to the ring because Mark Henry’s 24 hours are up. We notice that Mama Henry is in the front row tonight. Chyna says the truth will come out or she will embarrass Mark in front of everybody. Here comes MARK HENRY who folds like a cheap tent telling the whole world he and Chyna didn’t do the Wild Thing or the Mild Thing. Is the Mild Thing like first base? Anyways, Mark begs and pleads Chyna not to show the tape. At first Chyna agrees she’s satisfied, but then tells the guys in the truck to play the tape anyways. Turns out last week on RAW, Mark Henry got a little bit of loving from Sammie. It gets REAL sexual, baby – that is, until Mark finds out Sammie has a PENIS. Off comes the wig. Henry vomits into a nearby toilet. Meanwhile in the ring, Chyna channels her inner Austin Powers with “she’s a MAN, baby” line. Chyna then destroys Mark by saying she wouldn’t even have sex with him if it were up to them to keep the human race going. She looks over at Mama Henry and apologizes, but admits Mark had it coming. As Henry turns to face his own poor mother, Chyna gives him a low blow. The DX theme plays and Henry rolls out. Now, what do you think his mother does? That’s right, she does what any loving, kind mother would do to her baby boy – she takes CHYNA’s side. She pops him on the butt and leads him out by the ear. Poor Mark.

When we come back, we see some “During the Break” footage of Mama Henry slapping on her poor son backstage. MARK IS SELLING. Hopefully they don’t consider putting the tag belts on her.

Elsewhere, GERALD BRISCO and PAT PATTERSON are arguing over who should score the pinfall on Chyna. Brisco says he should because he’s a highly decorated amateur wrestler, but Patterson thinks he should because he was the first Intercontinental champion in 1979. For some reason, Brisco thinks that is way further back in history than when he was a collegiate champion, but whatevs.

• Winner Gets Head: Goldust (w/Head) vs. Al Snow (w/o Head)

I wonder why they didn’t save this match for the PPV. Maybe we’ll find out now. Goldust strikes first, but Al Snow is able to string together more offense with a whip in the corner followed by a rebound clothesline. Snow goes after Head – HE NEEDS HEAD – but Goldust nails him from behind and drops Snow on the steps. Cole and Lawler hype “Halftime Heat” in nearly two weeks. Back inside, Snow comes back with an HBK hurracanrana and follows with punches. Goldust takes control and delivers that back suplex where Snow lands in front of him. Crossbody by Snow, but Goldust jumps up and drills him with a lariat for two. Snow reverses a whip into a drop toehold and then delivers La Magistral cradle for the THREE-count. (3:36) Well, okay then. Snow needs Head and until he gets Head, he continues to beat on Goldust. Ref Teddy Long gives Head to Snow, so Goldust ducks a Head shot and delivers a spinebuster. He sets up Snow in the corner and gives him SHATTERED DREAMS. Goldust takes Head back, makes Head kiss Snow, blasts Snow with Head, and then leaves. WHAT IS HEAD DOING TO THESE GUYS? *

In the back, STONE COLD IS STILL HERE.

Elsewhere, Pat Patterson tells Gerald Brisco that Vince wants him to get the pinfall on Chyna. Apparently, Vince told Brisco that he was to get the pin on Chyna and not Patterson. Patterson asks Brisco if he’s on those marijuana pills or something.

After the break, we come back to see MIDEON (in a red choir robe) over at the Cole and Lawler table to ask them if they can feel it. Cole and Lawler remark how scarred up Mideon’s chest is. When the Gregorian chants start, Mideon leaves to go to the stage to join the DRUIDS, FAAROOQ, BRADSHAW, PAUL BEARER, and then the UNDERTAKER. The stage looks much like it did last week when the Undertaker did whatever he did to Mideon. Taker sits on his throne with his symbol on the back. The sacrifices are not over with just Mideon, and a ceremony has been scheduled for the Royal Rumble. Attend if you dare, resist and you will subject yourself to agonizing pain and EXTREME suffering. Accept the Lord of Darkness as your savior. Allow the purity of EVILLL to guide you. The symbol catches fire after Taker stands up to praise himself, I guess.

• Gerald Brisco & Pat Patterson vs. Chyna

This is Vince’s way of making Chyna pay for winning the Corporate Rumble to become the #30 entrant in the Royal Rumble. Patterson lets Brisco start against Chyna. She overpowers Brisco – naturally. Patterson tries the psychological approach, but Chyna tries to break his hand when Pat puts his finger in her face. Patterson picks up Chyna for an Airplane Spin. Lawler says he hasn’t seen that move in thirty years. When Pat makes him dizzy, Brisco shoves him through the ropes. Chyna slips away from a slam and atomic drops Brisco. Patterson tries to jump Chyna, but gets beaten up and gets his nuts run into Brisco’s head. Chyna NO-SELLS a low blow (har har) and then she delivers STEREO TESTICULAR CLAWS on the Stooges. While Pat and Gerald shove each other, Chyna sits up on the top buckle for some reason. Patterson then walks over and shoves Chyna down to the floor. Hey look, here comes SABLE. Apparently, she wants to help even the odds. A hooded LUNA immediately jumps the rail and whips Sable down with a weightlifting belt. Wow, Sable sucks. Back in the ring, Brisco does a goofy imitation of the Corporate Elbow on Chyna. He and Pat fight over who will make the pinfall until Chyna recovers. Ten-count corner punch on Pat, but then she stops and turns around to be blasted with white powder by Brisco. Once again, Cole and Lawler laugh at how old school and outdated their methods are. Brisco and Patterson then start sexually molesting her by slapping her butt and playing with her pixelated boobies. YIKES. Not-so-blinded Chyna ducks a double clothesline and returns the favor. Big “Chyna” chant. She then delivers DDTs to each Stooge, pile them up, and then sits on them for the easy pinfall. (6:19 BOOYAKA) Chyna is getting over, but she’s still green and it may be too much too soon. Kudos to Patterson and Brisco for being so dang entertaining. *½

Steve Austin is still walking around backstage like he’s waiting for something.

Elsewhere, Vince and Shane McMahon assure the Rock that Kane will not be a problem tonight. If Kane is a problem, Vince will be sending him back to the nuthouse.

WWF REWIND << (brought to you by 10-10-220): RAW, 1/11/99 – The Rock breaks up Kane’s pin attempt on Mankind and then blasts him with a chairshot.

• The Rock (w/the Corporation) vs. Kane

They replay the aftermath of the Corporation attack on Shawn Michaels from two weeks ago on RAW. He’s off TV, but he’s not so far gone he couldn’t book this match from his hospital room last night on HeAT. The Rock is wearing a $500 shirt and he doesn’t want it messed up in this match. Kane’s defiance is duly noted as a “Rocky sucks” chant starts up. Vince McMahon tells Rock and Kane that tonight’s gonna be the “Finger Poke of Doom” situation, Kane responds with a middle finger. Rock clips the knee from behind and the rest of the Corporation members join in on a beatdown. The crowd chants for Austin as the Rock tells the Corporation to leave him alone with Kane. The bell sounds with everybody out and the Rock pounds away. Kane fires back on the Rock, but Rock plants Kane with a DDT. Kane sits up and once he’s on his feet, Rock clotheslines Kane out in front of the Corporation. Test grabs his attention while Rock goes outside to continue the attack. Rock bounces Kane’s heads off the steps and off the Cole and Lawler table. Rock puts on a headset and starts cutting a promo until Kane comes over and goozles him. Rock kicks him between the legs and goes back to slugging on Kane. Back inside, Rock continues to pound on Kane, but eventually Kane turns into Surfer Sting, and stops selling. Rock avoids a Tombstone, low blows Kane, and clotheslines him down for the CORPORATE ELBOW. Rock stands over Kane and gets GOOZLED. There’s a CHOKESLAM. Test is on the apron – he gets a CHOKESLAM as well. (4:02) The rest of the Corporation swarm Kane and put the boots to him as Mankind runs down to lay waste to Boss Man and Test with a steel chair. Mankind stalks the Rock up the aisle, but Stone Cold Steve Austin is standing behind the Rock. As Rock turns to face Austin, Mankind blasts the Rock in the back with the chair. Vince McMahon looks on VERY concerned as we close out the show. *

Until next time, so long for now.

THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION PRESENTS: ROYAL RUMBLE – No Chance in Hell
LIVE on January 24 from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California! ONLY ON PPV!
MAIN EVENT: The Royal Rumble
“I Quit” Match for the WWF Championship: Mankind (c) vs. The Rock
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Ken Shamrock (c) vs. Billy Gunn
WWF Women’s Championship: Sable (c) vs. Luna