WWF: SuNDAY NiGHT HeAT
January 24, 1999
Anaheim, CA
Arrowhead Pond

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: Mankind (1/4/1999)
Intercontinental Champion: Ken Shamrock (10/12/1998)
World Tag Team Champions: The Big Boss Man & Ken Shamrock (12/14/1998)
European Champion: X-Pac (10/18/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: Duane Gill (11/23/1998)
Hardcore Champion: Road Dogg (12/21/1998)
Women’s Champion: Sable (11/15/1998)

AUSTIN, YOU HAVE NO CHANCE IN HELL. We start the show with a video package of Vince and his Corporation reminding everyone he’s placed a $100,000 bounty for whoever can eliminate Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble match – because tonight is the ROYAL RUMBLE!

Onto the Arrowhead Pond, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN arrives at the VIP parking area in his Ford F-150. When the security guy who stops Austin lets him know this parking area for limos only, Austin does a wild U-turn in his truck – leaving tire marks and smoke everywhere – as he goes to find parking elsewhere.

HOT ENOUGH? Your host is Kevin Kelly – all by himself for now.

In the building, VINCE McMAHON, SHANE McMAHON, PAT PATTERSON, and GERALD BRISCO head to the ring. This is the first time we get to hear what will become the Corporation’s theme music as well as Vince’s theme music until the end of time – the “NO CHANCE IN HELL” song, which is also the theme song for this year’s Royal Rumble. Vince is #2 in the Royal Rumble, ya know. Sounds like Vince wants to talk with Steve Austin in the middle of the ring in thirty minutes time concerning the Royal Rumble. As for Mankind, he knows Mick is resting for his match later tonight. To make sure Mankind has no excuses when he screams “I QUIT”, Vince announces a tune-up match for Mick prior to the Royal Rumble – and his opponent will remain a “mystery”. And that’s that. Shane McMahon joins Kevin Kelly over at the announce table for the rest of the show.

A limo pulls up to the Arrowhead Pond as we go to commercial.

When we come back, we see that Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco meet up with a rather large black man (wearing a ski mask) who got out of the limo. THIS GUY IS HUGE.

• Bob Holly & Scorpio vs. Too Much

We cut to the backstage area where it looks like the Ministry of Darkness are having a meeting, but neither Kevin nor Shane can make out what’s happening. Too Much appear to have new Technicolor Dreamcoat gear tonight. They attack Holly and send him out to start. Scorpio avoids a double backdrop by landing on his feet and coming back around with a jumping shoulderblock to take out both guys. He then powerbombs Taylor and goes for something off the top, but Christopher hooks his ankle while he’s in mid-air to cause Scorpio to crash and burn. A double-team superplex (!!) takes down Scorpio. As they celebrate the move and act like goofballs, Taylor jumps into Christopher’s arms only to fall on the floor. While Christopher looks at Taylor, Scorpio rolls him up for two. Holly tags in and Too Much get some heat on him. He kicks back at Taylor and clotheslines him down. Tag to Scorpio, Holly slams Taylor for a swirling flying splash from Scorpio. Taylor avoids a corner charge and tags in Christopher who lands a missile dropkick. Scorpio fires back with a cool Rolling Koppou Kick (!!). Tag to Holly, he hits Taylor with the Best Dropkick in the Business. As for Christopher, Holly gives him the FALCON ARROW for the win. (3:47) After the bell, THE ACOLYTES and MIDEON hit the ring to destroy Too Much and the JOB Squad. Oh wait, here comes THE UNDERTAKER and PAUL BEARER to the ring. Looks like there’s some DRUIDS as well. Tonight, the lambs will be led to the slaughter. Taker will choose his next victim and his choice will be clear. Accept the darkness and the everlasting light that it possesses or subject yourself to torment and pain. There are 30 men tonight in the Royal Rumble who must consider one thing – will you accept the Lord of Darkness as your Savior and allow the purity of evil to guide you? WHAT IS THE MINISTRY OF DARKNESS PLANNING TO DO? Oh yeah, the match was fantastic – just short. **

Mankind is standing backstage as Shane McMahon gets him to squeal the “I QUIT” line in a fashion only Mick Foley can deliver.

We get a video package highlighting the Sable versus Luna feud.

Michael Cole brings out SABLE to the ring. Before anything can be said of any note, LUNA shows up, beats her down, and gives Sable a BACKBREAKER. Well, there’s your story for their strap match. Refs and agents hurry down to help Sable.

When we return, they replay the backbreaker from moments ago. One of the medical professionals takes his time examining Sable. IT’S JUST A WRESTLING MOVE, PEOPLE. SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR CHAMPION. WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT HERE?

Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson, and Gerald Brisco head back to the ring to say that Steve Austin isn’t going to show. Next thing we know, we cut to the parking lot where a limo hoisted up onto MONSTER TRUCK WHEELS forces it’s way over other limos and into the VIP area. Of course, Steve Austin is driving the fancy limo. When Austin gets out, he heads straight to the ring. Vince says he has one thing left to say – and he SLAPS AUSTIN ACROSS THE FACE! McMahon heads for the tunnel while Patterson and Brisco get thrown all over the place. As Vince leaves, Austin hits all four corners to soak in the crowd. Shane McMahon is freaking out on Austin on commentary.

After the break, we see the slap again and Brisco and Patterson getting thrown out. We go back to the locker room to see Austin hanging out drinking a Steveweiser.

We catch a fantastic Austin versus McMahon feud video package leading up to the Royal Rumble.

THE ROCK enters the building and pays some unnamed jabroni a dollar for carrying his bags.

When we come back, they replay Steve Austin’s limo showing up to the VIP parking lot and Austin getting slapped.

• Mankind vs. Mystery Opponent

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS MAN! The guy is still wearing all black and a ski mask. The Rock watches on from the monitor backstage. Mankind locks up and gets shoved back a couple times. He punches the big man down in a corner for the Running Knee. The big man clotheslines Mankind down and starts hammering. A running shoulderblock sends Mankind rolling to the floor. Now time for some brawling. Mankind bounces the big man’s head off the steps. Back in, the big man manages to avalanche Mankind. He whips Mankind from corner to corner and runs him down with a clothesline. The big man keeps using his body to control Mankind, but MANKIND WILL NOT DIE! Double Arm DDT comes out of nowhere. Out comes Mr. Socko. Mankind pulls the ski mask up and applies the MANDIBLE CLAW. The big man still hasn’t been identified. While Shane McMahon gets off the headset and distracts ref Tim White, The Rock runs down and gives Mankind the ROCK BOTTOM for the DQ. (5:05) With Mankind down on the mat, the big man takes off the whole ski mask and splashes Mankind. He’s got a short and crazy mohawk thing going on. Rock gets on the mic and declares himself the next WWF champion who will make Mankind say he quits later tonight. Rock continues to put the boots to Mankind while Shane and the big man watch. By the way, the big man is Mabel – who will quickly become known as Viscera, but we don’t know that part yet. ½*

Kevin Kelly says something about the mystery opponent being a 500 pound man when we cut backstage to see a shirtless Vince McMahon getting oiled up by Pat Patterson while Gerald Brisco agrees with whatever Mr. Mac Man has to say. That’s not baby oil, it’s MAN OIL. That could be the most Vince McMahon thing he’s ever said. Vince flexes and smiles big into the mirror as the show ends because it’s time for the ROYAL RUMBLE!

Until next time, so long for now.

THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION PRESENTS: ROYAL RUMBLE – No Chance in Hell
LIVE on January 24 from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California! ONLY ON PPV!
MAIN EVENT: The Royal Rumble
“I Quit” Match for the WWF Championship: Mankind (c) vs. The Rock
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Ken Shamrock (c) vs. Billy Gunn
WWF Women’s Championship: Sable (c) vs. Luna