WWF SummerSlam 1994
August 29, 1994
Chicago, IL
United Center

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Bret Hart (3/20/1994)
Intercontinental Champion: Diesel (4/13/1994)
World Tag Team Champions: Shawn Michaels & Diesel (8/28/1994)
Women’s Champion: Alundra Blayze (12/13/1993)

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.

Interesting fact: Since there is no NBA in August, this was the first televised event in Chicago’s United Center.

• Irwin R. Schyster & Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Ted DiBiase) vs. The Headshrinkers (w/Capt. Lou Albano & Afa)
  

The ‘Shrinkers just lost the tag belts to Diesel and HBK the night before in Indianapolis. This was Samu’s last WWF PPV appearance before going on hiatus because of injuries. He would be replaced by Sionne or better known as the Barbarian. Bam Bam starts off in control of Fatu. He connects with his enziguri kick, but misses the FLYING HEADBUTT. The Headshrinkers take over Bigelow with standard Samoan offense. Samu runs into an elbow and IRS gets a tag. IRS ducks a crossbody block and whiffs when he tries the same on Samu. Bigelow pulls the top rope down on Fatu to send him on the floor. Back in, Bigelow and Fatu knock each other out to set up a HOT TAG TO SAMU! BAAAACK body drops to IRS and Bigelow! IRS takes a Double Headbutt and a Double Reverse Russian Legsweep. Fatu climbs to the top rope and delivers the FLYING SPLASH for 1-2-NO! While DiBiase distracts the ref, Bigelow breaks up the pin and punches Captain Lou off the apron. Oh, you do NOT put your hands on Albano. Afa comes in and windmill punches Bigelow away for the DQ. (7:21) Geez, is Afa really Jimmy Valiant? Anyways, the Headshrinkers and Afa TRIPLE headbutt IRS and Bigelow to look like winners even though they lost. Seemed more like a Headshrinkers sendoff than anything else. *½

Leslie Nielsen gets into his Naked Gun character and continues on his search for the real Undertaker, spawning a series of Zucker Brothers-humored skits. There’s signs on the wall that point to the ‘Undertaker trail’. Some security guards mistake him for Lloyd Bridges and/or Peter Graves. Both were Nielsen’s cast mates in Airplane!. Just as he thinks he’s found the real Undertaker, it turns out to be George Kennedy in a black trench coat and hat. They’re both on the ‘case’. Oh I get it. They’re both standing on a Halliburton case. That’s real cute. It ends with both guys going their separate ways with a sign on the wall that points in both directions to the ‘Undertaker trail’. Oh me.

• WWF Women’s Champion Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano (w/Luna Vachon)
  

Luna couldn’t win the Women’s belt, so she’s brought in Bull Nakano to try and vicariously win the title through her. Nice, Bull has the Orient Express theme music. These two met earlier on Raw back on August 1 to a double-countout in a great little match. Nakano controls to start with a pair of hair slings. The crowd seems WAY into this match. Nakano slams Blayze’s head down on the mat and hooks on a chinlock. As Blayze starts to fight out, Nakano takes her over to the ropes and chokes her down. Blayze comes back with a hurracanrana for two. She nails Nakano with one spin kick, but misses a second one and turns around into a choke lift. Nakano locks in a Boston crab with both feet tucked under just one of her arms. Neat! From there, she takes it up another notch with a SICK version of a bow and arrow! You’d just have to see it. Luna has a little fun as she chokes Blayze on the top rope while Nakano pulls back Earl Hebner. Surprise rollup by Blayze gets two, but Nakano goes right into a cross armbreaker. Blayze fights out and comes off the ropes for a series of clotheslines that gets two. Nakano backdrops out of a piledriver attempt, but Blayze flips out of the corner off a whip and backslides Nakano for 1-2-NO! Now Nakano blocks a hurracanrana with a Powerbomb for 1-2-NO! Nakano misses the GUILLOTINE LEGDROP, allowing Blayze to kick Luna off the apron and deliver the BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX to Nakano for 1-2-3! (8:18) In my opinion, the best women’s match in the first twenty years of WWF PPVs. Nakano would finally dethrone Alundra Blayze of the Women’s title over in Japan a few nights after Survivor Series, which ended her near year-long reign. ***

• WWF Intercontinental Champion Diesel (w/Shawn Michaels) vs. Razor Ramon (w/Walter Payton)
  

Diesel is one step closer to being the only guy to become a triple-crown champion in the span of only seven months. Pretty amazing especially for the time when not everybody over won championships. So we’ve got the Kliq and former Chicago Bears running back Walter Payton serving as Razor’s bodyguard to watch over Shawn Michaels. Diesel gets the toothpick in the face followed by a barrage of right hands to put him on the floor. Back in, Diesel buries his knee into Razor’s gut and goes to work on his back. Razor ducks a Big Boot and clotheslines Diesel in the corner, but then runs into an elbow. Diesel boot chokes Ramon in the corner, but his attention turns away to Payton and he gets rocked by another series of rights from Razor. Diesel catches Razor ducking low off a whip and slams his face into the mat. Razor counters a sleeper into a back suplex, but then gets dumped out to the floor. While Payton checks on Razor and Diesel has the ref’s attention, HBK unties a turnbuckle pad. Now Payton and HBK have a stand-off, which causes Hebner to come out and back Payton away as HBK runs around the ring and drills Razor with a flying forearm as he jumps off the steel steps. Awesome! Back in, Diesel goes back to work with the corner elbows. He wants to whip Razor into the exposed turnbuckle, but ref Earl Hebner stands in his way. Since he won’t allow it, Shawn jumps up on the apron so Diesel can do what he wanted to anyway. Side Slam from Diesel gets 1-2-NO! Diesel delivers Snake Eyes and a Bossman straddle. Now Diesel returns to the back by dropping an elbow for two. Razor elbows out of a chinlock, but runs into a Big Boot for 1-2-NO! Diesel grabs an abdominal stretch and uses the ropes for help. Razor reverses into an ab stretch of his own, but Diesel hiptosses out. Diesel goes for Snake Eyes on the exposed turnbuckle, but Razor slips away and shoves Diesel into the corner! Rollup gets 1-2-NO! Razor comes back with rights and trips Diesel up in order to post his grapefruits. Flying Bulldog from Razor gets 1-2-NO! Shawn gets KO’ed off the apron for the Brian Pillman guardrail bump. Razor wants the Back Superplex on Diesel, but he gets elbowed down. Diesel calls for the JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB! Whoops, Razor backdrops out and calls for the RAZOR’S EDGE! Shawn distracts Razor from the apron and that allows Diesel to nail him from behind and take him to the mat with a jumping shoulderblock. Shawn tries to take the IC belt into the ring, but Walter Payton pulls it away from him. That brings ref Earl Hebner out to the floor to get the belt away from Payton. Meanwhile, HBK jumps in the ring and Superkicks Diesel by accident. Heel miscommunication~! Shawn is PISSED at himself and tries to do whatever else he can to prevent Diesel from losing, but Payton pulls him out of the ring as Razor covers for 1-2-3! (15:02) Razor Ramon starts his second IC title reign. Great story told with an ending that plants the seeds to WrestleMania 11. ***½

• Lex Luger vs. Tatanka
  

So all along, Tatanka is convinced that Lex Luger is taking bribe money from Ted DiBiase. He says that Luger has sold out numerous times in just one pre-match interview, but Luger refuses any and all claims that he has indeed been bought by the Million Dollar Man. All the evidence is there to say he has, but is this true? We all want to believe it’s not true, right kids? They take awhile to get physical with each other as Tatanka continues to mention how Luger has sold out. Basic stuff to start once they do actually start. Luger misses his Jumping Elbow Drop and takes a powerslam for two. Tatanka starts up the war dance and chops Luger around. He connects with a Flying Tomahawk Chop for another nearfall. Luger avoids the Flying Bodypress and comes back with clotheslines as Ted DiBiase makes his way to ringside with a sack filled with cash. Luger delivers a Powerslam and looks to finish off Tatanka with the TORTURE RACK! Wait, he’s spotted DiBiase. He tells DiBiase to get out of here with those ten dollar bills only to be rolled up by Tatanka for the 1-2-3. (6:02) As DiBiase gets in the ring, Luger kicks his sack of cash away. He thinks about putting his hands on DiBiase, which is Tatanka’s cue to beat him down to the mat for the SWERVE of the night. The crowd reaction is quite mixed to say the least. Tatanka then proceeds to give Luger the PAPOOSE TO GO not once, but twice! DiBiase and Tatanka embrace and start to walk out, but DiBiase hints to Tatanka that he should give Luger a little more of a beating. Orders are orders! Tatanka temporarily scares the refs away and slaps on the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM! After Luger’s unconscious, DiBiase and Tatanka shove money in his mouth just like the good old days and exit stage left. Even though the match wasn’t anything special, this was an awesome heel turn. Predictable, but well done. *

• Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel (w/Oscar)
  

Oh my gosh, we have a country vs. rap battle. Now if Mabel’s kind of rap was more like 2Pac and Biggie and less like Will Smith, he would just bust a cap in Jarrett and be done with it. But no, he has to “wrestle”. Jarrett actually does really well with big guys. You could put him in that same category as guys like Sting in many ways as it pertains to working with the super heavyweights. Jarrett avoids everything Mabel throws at him and struts around a bit. He turns back around into a choke lift and after Jarrett *leapfrogs* Mabel, he takes an elbow drop from the big guy. Jarrett gets sent to the floor off a clothesline and shoves Oscar into the steel steps when he starts talking smack. He then trips up Mabel and starts up an aerial attack of double ax handles. One too many of those puts him in a bearhug, but he comes back with a sleeper. Mabel backs Jarrett into the corner and delivers a Spinning Heel Kick. Cover, 1-2-NO! Mabel delivers a front powerslam for 1-2-NO! Down on the floor, Mabel saves Oscar from a Jarrett beatdown and holds Jarrett so Oscar can give him a nice pimp slap. Back in, Mabel misses a Flying Splash. Cover by Jarrett, 1-2-NO! Jarrett tries a sunset flip when Mabel ducks low, but that’s stupid. Jarrett does avoid the butt splash and covers Mabel for a quick 1-2-3. (5:58) Country music gets the win tonight. Again, Jarrett’s good at bringing the best out of the big fellas. *¼

They show a Bret/Owen video package that takes us back to Survivor Series 1993 up to present day.

• WWF World Champion Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart – Cage Match
  

I believe the entire Hart family is at ringside, including the British Bulldog who makes his return to the WWF and also Owen’s sole supporter brother-in-law Jim Neidhart. Owen grabs Bret as soon as he steps into the cage and starts pounding him down in the corner. Bret blocks a cage shot and drills Owen with a DDT. Both guys make the climb out, but neither are successful. Bret brings Owen back into the ring with a back suplex and hits a running bulldog. Bret and Owen take turns crawling to the door. When one pulls the other back, the other makes a run for the door. Awesome! Owen slams Bret off the top rope when he tries another escape. Bret brings Owen back in from the other side of the cage, but gets kicked down for a front missile dropkick. He takes a minute to do it, but he still kips up! Owen makes a leap for the cage and almost falls out, but Bret meets him at the top to trade blows. They come back down to the mat where Bret stops Owen from crawling out the cage, so Owen yanks Bret’s leg out from under him to crotch him in the ropes. How he didn’t pull a groin I have no idea. Bret grabs Owen and prevents another crawl out the door. He misses a flying elbow drop, but still manages to bring Owen back over the top of the cage by his hair. Owen stops Bret this time and gives him a version of a fireman’s carry slam. Bret stops Owen from another climb and blocks a cage shot to send Owen into the cage instead. Owen pulls Bret back in and gives a Back Superplex off the cage! He follows up with a Piledriver and starts to climb. Bret grabs him just in time though. Owen punches Bret down, but slips and crotches himself on the top rope. Bret all but climbs out of the cage as Owen pulls on his legs. When Owen tries the same, Bret pulls him back in and catapults Owen into the cage! Owen stops another Bret crawl to the door and whips him HARD into the corner. What makes that even better is the sound the cage makes when it rattles as Bret gets run into the turnbuckle. After Owen slips out of a slam, Bret runs Owen face-first into the cage. Whoops, looks like Bret hit his knee too as he slid into the cage. Nice bit of added continuity. As Bret climbs over the cage, Owen pulls him back in by his wrist and then by his hair! He gets Bret back in the ring and delivers his Spinning Heel Kick. They meet each other on the top rope to climb out until Bret takes a chance by kicking Owen’s arms free from the cage. Owen is still able to bring Bret back in the ring just in time. Double KO spot ensues. Bret meets Owen at the top corner of the cage and brings Owen back in with a SUPERPLEX! Incredible! Owen stops a crawl to the door and applies the SHARPSHOOTER! He screams out that he’s going to break Bret’s legs so that he’ll never be able to walk again. That is until Bret reverses the SHARPSHOOTER into one of his own. He holds on until it seems Owen is knocked out and starts another climb, but Owen pulls him in by his hair. Owen punches Bret and they both fall from the top rope. Now they both start to climb out and it becomes a race to see who can reach the floor first. They battle on the OTHER side of the cage, but Owen gets his leg caught in the cage wall. Bret smashes Owen’s face into the steel and that leaves Owen hanging on the cage! All Bret has to do is drop down and he does just that to retain his WWF title. (32:11) Absolutely the best cage match ever. They broke the stereotype that cage matches have had for twenty years before for being nothing more than bloody brawls and thought outside the box to give us a technical classic. I’ve heard people gripe on this match because they say there’s a lack of action, but they more than made up for that with a phenomenal psychological performance. What happens next is nothing short of a Four Horsemen attack. Neidhart jumps the rail and clotheslines the British Bulldog and his wife Diana from behind. Owen and Neidhart take Bret back into the ring, padlock the door, and beat the crap out of him while at the same time try to keep the Hart family at bayFHar. The British Bulldog finally gets into the cage and scares Owen and Anvil away, but the damage has been done. *****

• The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. The Undertaker (w/Ted DiBiase)
  

So after the Royal Rumble, the Undertaker disappeared and said he would not rest in peace. Around May, Ted DiBiase claimed he had been in contact with the Undertaker and that he bought him out. DiBiase shows up with his version of the Undertaker, which is Brian Lee in Undertaker’s clothes and long nappy hair. Paul Bearer makes his return to inform us that DiBiase’s Undertaker is a fake and then goes to “summon” the real Undertaker in the place he feels his presence the most: any random cemetery. So now it’s time for the big face off. Some druids wheel down a “Rest in Peace” casket with a newer, bigger urn inside. Paul Bearer takes hold of the urn and opens the lid to let out a huge light. Holy haberdashery, it’s the bat signal! The real Undertaker has ARRIVED! It turns out to be a battle of who will sell first. Well, it’s not Mark Calloway. That’s for sure. Brian Lee gets yanked down when he tries for OLD SCHOOL, so Calloway shows him how it’s done. Calloway misses a Jumping Lariat and falls out to the floor. He eats a ringpost and some steel steps. Back in, Calloway won’t sell so Lee’s human side comes out to show ‘frustration’. After a Chokeslam, Calloway sits up. After a TOMBSTONE, Calloway sits up. Bearer raises the new bigger urn as Calloway reverses a TOMBSTONE for one of his own. Chalk up two more TOMBSTONES and Calloway picks up the win. (9:10) DiBiase flees the scene after the three count as the Undertaker rolls Brian Lee into the casket. The druids return to ringside to wheel Brian Lee to the back never to be heard from AGAYNE. The end. ¼*

In the back, Nielsen and Kennedy open up the casket to find…nothing. They spot a “closed case” and then decide to get something to eat. Get it? The case is closed.

Final Thoughts: A real up and down rollercoaster type of a show. If you’ve never seen the Bret vs. Owen cage match, I highly recommend it to anybody. As far as everything else goes, I think there’s enough to like here to garner a thumbs up. Diesel/Ramon is a really fun match and Blayze/Nakano is good women’s wrestling match at least as far as American women’s wrestling goes. Alright, thumbs up for SummerSlam 1994.