WWE ECW 1/13/09 in Sioux City, Iowa

(Taped 1/12/09)

The Champions are as follows:
ECW Champion – Matt Hardy 9/7/08
I would mention more, but what’s the point?

Your hosts are Todd Grisham and Matt “The Teacher” Striker.

Show starts with the video package showing how awesome the No. 1 Contender Jack Swagger is. Jack Swagger has spent the last few months destroying all the babyfaces in the ECW, all three of them, which makes him NO. 1 contender. Well at least I don’t have to see another horrible Matt Hardy v. Mark Henry match.

After the ECW intro screen we see some fireworks and Todd lets us know that tonight is going to be awesome!! I CAN’T WAIT!!

• Mixed Tag Team Match
• DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox vs. Paul and Katie Lea Burchill

In case you are interested, DJ Gabriel’s only been on TV for about a month and Alicia Fox was the wedding director for Edge’s wedding that went slightly south. How Alicia and DJ met is a mystery to me, but whatever. When they first hit the scene I totally thought they were gonna be pushed as heels until they decided to have fellow Englishman Paul Burchill go out and job like he’s been doing. Paul Burchill went from being a walking tower of hurt, to jobbing to everyone in only a matter of months. I want to say this is his first appearance on TV in a while, since he jobbed to Mr. Kennedy when he was still on RAW. Anyhoo, they decided to push DJ as a face by putting him up against Burchill. DJ won, and then Alicia lost to Katie Lea, leading up to this match.
Bell rings and we start with the girls, they trade punches and knees. Katie Lea whips Fox into the ropes, goes for a hip toss but gets countered into a roll-up for 2. More back and forth leads to a Double KO spot. Katie Lea tags out to Burchill, Gabriel comes in and is met with a flying knee in the corner. Burchill beats the crap out of Gabriel in the corner, the ref breaks it up eventually and Burchill goes back to work with more punches.  Gabriel comes back with European uppercuts but Burchill flattens him with a knee to the gut. Suplex follows and gets 2; I didn’t think I’d ever see an actual wrestling move in this match. Burchill chokes Gabriel on the top rope and hits him with a knee from the apron for another 2. Now to an arm bar to kill some time, Gabriel eventually battles out to a back suplex for 1-2-NO! Lea makes the save for Burchill which brings Fox in and the Divas go out to the floor. Gabriel hits the flying European Uppercut off the second rope for the 1-2-3. This match was just to make DJ Gabriel look good since he’s a newbie. No wrestling what-so-ever, it may as well have been a singles match. *

We see a video package for the 2009 Hall of Fame, STONE COLD, STONE COLD, will be inducted. I never knew he liked “Cult of Personality.” We’re back to Grisham and Striker hyping the Swagger/Hardy match.

We come back from commercial break to a Tommy Dreamer in the ring wearing a tux (?). He talks about how he’s pretty much done nothing but jobbed for the last year and he feels a little poopy about it. He fake cries about how he loves ECW, and trust me, the crowd loves him. He says that he will retire if he doesn’t win the ECW title by June 6^th, which is when he contract expires. This doesn’t look good for Hardy. Dreamer leaves the ring to his “Man in the Box” knock-off music.

ANOTHER video promo about how AWESOME Swagger is, this is really not looking good for Hardy.

Backstage we see Ricky O trying to get some from Tiffany but Hornswoggle runs in and ruins the mood. I guess Ricky needs some air time but is too busy to wrestle. Too much working on that hit show Cha$e, huh?

Finally, a match!!

• The Boogeyman vs. Sammy Savard

Sammy is obviously a jobber so this should be short and painless. Boogeyman does a terrible job selling some kicks and punches from Savard. Boogeyman comes back with some BoogeyDancing, and then hits one punch that sends Savard to the corner. Boogey does a super hip toss out of the corner which leads to a head butt and more BoogeyDancing. Boogey whips Jobberface into the corner for a pathetic looking chest first Bret Hart-like bump, I mean it was sorry. I guess that’s why he’s jobbing. Boogey hits a Boogeylanche which leads to more Boogeydancing; pump handle slam gets the 1-2-3. Out comes the worms and into Sammy the Job’s mouth. This match was what you would expect from the Boogeyman, garbage. CRAP

Here we go with the Jeff Hardy car accident bullcrap. This storyline is stupid, and according to online sources, it’s supposed to be an angle to bring back Christian Cage. Now Matt speaks about his brother and Swagger. Hardy plans on staying champion, good luck buddy.

Video promo hypes the return of Mr. McMahon…Awesome!!!

• ECW Title Match
• ECW Champion Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Huge pop for Hardy as he comes out, at least there’s something going on here that the crowd cares about. Jack Swagger is looking Swaggerific and Hardy looks…well, like himself. They lock up and Swagger does his amateur wrestling stuff to put Hardy on the mat. Swagger brings Hardy back to his feet with back hugs and Hardy gets to the ropes to break it up. They lock back up; Swagger gets an arm bar which Hardy counters into a Northern Lights Suplex. Swagger backs into the corner as Hardy mocks him as we go to commercial.  Back from commercial we see Hardy in a standing headlock; he throws Swagger into the ropes for a hip toss. Hardy follows is up with the clothesline in the corner, a bulldog, 1-2-NO! Striker is talking about the new movie “The Wrestler,” It’s supposed to be really good. Now Swagger’s in the standing headlock, Hardy’s whipped into the rope which leads us to Hardy getting clobbered to the outside. Hardy’s selling a shoulder injury as Swagger goes to the outside and slams Hardy’s arm into the ring post. Both men are back in the ring as Swagger continues to work on Hardy’s shoulder, falling arm breaker, 1-2-NO! Now onto a key lock, Swagger puts Hardy in the corner for more of a beating but runs into a boot. That doesn’t seem to faze Swagger as he slams Hardy down, 1-2-NO! Back to the key lock which leads to the “Hardy” chants. Hardy wills his way up to his feet, but a hair pull (well…what little hair he has left) brings him back to the mat. A missed elbow and Hardy’s trying to mount a comeback, but Swagger hits a big boot for 2. Onward to another commercial break, YAY, a Royal Rumble promo!!! We come back from commercial break with more key lock action from Swagger. Hardy battles back to his feet but Swagger whips him into the ropes, ducks the head and receives a kick to the face. Hardy hits a clothesline and rolls out to the apron to go up top. This turns out to be a back move as Swagger hits a nice Superplex which leads to a double KO, Swagger rolls Hardy over for 1-2-NO! And we’re back to a key lock, Matt’s back on his feet and Swagger puts him in the corner. Now Hardy’s perched up top as Striker talks about how no one has ever been able to defend their title against a new challenger or some non-sense. I’m pretty sure Striker is just babbling. Swagger goes for another superplex but Hardy punches out and counters into a powerbomb, 1-2-NO! As Swagger came down he brought the turnbuckle pad with him, which is never a good sign. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Swagger counters into a nice Belly to Belly Suplex for another near fall. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench Powerbomb but Hardy counters into a Russian Leg Sweep for 2. Swagger goes to the corner, Hardy hits the clothesline and goes for the bulldog but is whipped into the ropes, counters a clothesline for a Side Effect, 1-2-NO! Hardy goes for another Side Effect back Swagger elbows out and goes for a roll-up with a handful of tights for another 2. Remember back in the 80’s when a handful of tights always meant a 3 count? Both men are up and Swagger hits sitout arm breaker followed by a Vader bomb (?!??!?!) for 2. Back up, both men go for a kick but Swagger’s the only one selling kicks. Matt tries to take control but Swagger lifts him up with a powerslam, Hardy counters into a reverse DDT for 1-2-NO! Now Hardy goes back up top for the moonsault, which everyone knows never ends well. Swagger comes up from behind and puts Hardy on his shoulders, then politely drops him face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle. Hardy’s out as Swagger hits the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the 1-2-3. We have a NEW ECW Champion!!! I’m really surprised that they let a newbie hold a World Title, well …not too surprised. Jack Swagger has a good set of moves and is very entertaining so I guess he deserves it. Looks like Dreamer has a tall order to fill by June 6^th. As for the match, it was pretty good, definitely the best on the card and most definitely better than Hardy vs. Henry. ***

Final Thoughts:
This was your typical ECW show, random low-card/newbie feuds, a squash match, and a main event. I wish they would have drawn out the title switch a little more, maybe let Swagger win by Count out and have a rematch at the Rumble. Who am I kidding? The ECW Title is a joke; they would never waste one of their four matches on that. Overall the show gets a **, which is better than most ECW shows.