ECW on Sci-Fi

January 20^th, 2009

Rosemont, IL

Allstate Arena

(taped 1/19/2009)

The Current Champions were as follows:

World Champion: John Cena (11/23/2008)
Intercontinental Champion: CM Punk (1/19/2009)
Women’s Champion: Beth Phoenix (8/17/2008)
World Tag Team Champions: The Miz & John Morrison (12/13/2008)
WWE Champion: Jeff Hardy (12/14/2008)
U.S. Champion: Shelton Benjamin (7/20/2008)
Diva’s Champion: Maryse (12/26/2008)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Carlito & Primo Colon (9/26/2008)
ECW Champion: Jack Swagger (1/13/2009)

Tonight we have a big Fatal Four Way Match featuring the 4 ECW superstars in the Royal Rumble Match!! Apparently ECW only has 4 superstars good enough to be eliminated from the Rumble.

Your hosts are Todd Grisham and Matt “Talks too Much” Striker

Show starts with a video promo showing how the always smiling Jack Swagger beat Matt Hardy last week for the ECW title. It’s all dramatic like something incredibly important happened.

Now we see Todd Grisham in the ring, he introduces the former ECW Champion Matt Hardy. Matt comes out rocking jeans, a button-up and a Shawn Michaels-like hairline. We see footage of Jeff getting blasted by Pyrotechnics from Friday night’s Smackdown. Back to the ring Matt tells us that Jeff is all hurt and stuff and tells us that he’s sure someone hurt his little brother on purpose. Now Todd brings up his loss to Jack Swagger last week and their rematch at the Royal Rumble…. I guess the title isn’t a big joke like I thought it was. I never would have thought in 401384 years that WWE would defend the ECW title at the Rumble. Anyhoo, Matt talks about how he under estimated Swagger and that next time he won’t be so lucky. All of a sudden Swagger’s music hits and he comes out to the ring to a nice “heel” reaction. Swagger lisps about Sunday being a “formality” and that Matt Hardy can’t take his title. If he thinks he can take his title, than his brother won’t be the only one going down in flames. OH SNAP!!! Hardy goes crazy on Swagger!! They spill out on to ringside and the crowd is going crazy!! Hardy chants galore. Apparently it takes 4 Refs to pull Hardy back, Swagger takes a cheap shot to Hardy’s face and… we go to commercial.

A Video Promo airs hyping the JBL vs. Cena match at the Rumble.

Finally, we have a match!!!

• Ricky Ortiz vs. Adams Evans

In case you didn’t know, Adam is a local jobber who’s out here to make Ricky look good after getting pummeled by Swagger a few weeks ago. This is the first time we’ve seen Ortiz in the ring since. I’m a little confused, why is Ortiz still facing jobbers after being on TV for 6 months?? Anyways, Ortiz and Evans go into a Collar and Elbow tie-up leading to Ortiz throwing Evans across the ring. Ortiz hits not one, but TWO head butts that put Evans on the mat. Evans is in the corner and gets whipped to the other corner HARD, so HARD that he falls forward. Ortiz hits a scoop slam as Strikers talks about anything else but wrestling; does this guy ever shut up? Ortiz hits a sick looking back breaker. Evans tries to mount some kind of offense but Ortiz NO-SELLS everything and knees him in the gut. Ortiz pounds away and hits not one, but TWO falling front elbow drops. Evans is back up only to get met with a teardrop suplex… Ortiz, 1992 Shawn Michaels called and wants his finishing move back. Why is this match going on forever!?!! At least the Boogeyman would have ended it 2 minutes ago. Evans gets up and is met with a football style tackle. Finally Ortiz hits the BIG O for the 1-2-3! Holy Crap this was the longest squash match ever. We get it, Ricky Ortiz is a tough dude, but let him have a 3 minute match with someone that matters. Nice moves by Ortiz but it still sucked. GARBAGE.

Now we see video footage of Tommy Dreamer spilling his heart out last week. Backstage Dreamer is talking with ECW GM Teddy Long, anybody remember Teddy from his WCW days?? Long tells Dreamer that he didn’t have to go out there if he wanted a title shot. Dreamer wants to prove to everyone and himself that he’s not a glorified jobber. UH OH, Paul Burchill’s in Teddy’s office and he doesn’t look happy. He demands a rematch against DJ Gabriel then proceeds to get all up in Tommy Dreamers face. Teddy tells Burchill that he’ll face someone tonight, but he’ll have to wait to find out. Could this be the Tommy Dreamers first win in forever?? It would make sense to have Paul Burchill job to Dreamer now since they got into it a second ago……. we’ll just have to wait. Onward to commercial break.

We’re back and Paul Burchill is in the ring, who will his opponent be?? The Boogeyman?!?! Really?!?! WHY??

• The Boogeyman vs. Paul Burchill with Katie Lea Ringside

This should be terrible… Paul Burchill isn’t horrible, but we all know that The Boogeyman has the move set of the Ultimate Warrior without the talent. Burchill attacks right after the bell with punches and knees that put Boogey in the corner with a few shoulder blocks. Boogey fights back with a couple punches but Burchill backs him back to the corner and hits a STIFF Europeans uppercut. Man I thought my teeth were gonna fall out after that. Burchill whips Boogey into the other corner and hits him with a flying knee and gives him a few more kicks for good measure. Onto a front face lock with the occasional forearm to the back and Boogey is thrown back into the corner and falls to the mat. Kick to the head follow and this is really boring. Burchill hooks in an arm bar and now the crowd starts chanting “Boogeyman” which really surprised me. Boogey gets to his feet and battles out with a few punches but Burchill slams on the brakes with a knee to the gut. Burchill go to the ropes and is met with a clothesline from the Boogeyman, BOOGEY-UP time!!! More clotheslines follow then Boogey whips Burchill to the corner for a Boogeylanche! Boogeydancing happens then another whip to the corner for ANOTHER BOOGEYLANCHE! He is going Boogeycrazy out there. UH OH, Boogey goes for the pump handle slam but it looks like he forgot how to do it or something. Katie Lea makes the save and the ref calls for the DQ. After the bell Boogey sends Burchill out over the top rope (that was a sorry looking spot) and he has Katie Lea all to himself. This is going to get ugly as Boogeyman grabs for some worms, Burchill makes the save as they both go to the back. Boogeyman feasts on the worms all alone… poor guy; can we say dinner for 1? I don’t think there was a single wrestling move in this entire match. I will have to say that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and the crowd really got behind Boogeyman if that means anything. It was still kinda crappy. ½*

A video promo rolls hyping the Jeff Hardy vs. Edge match at the Rumble.

Now we have another video promo showing Vince McMahon’s return to RAW last night. Randy kicks his boss in the head after giving Jericho his job back. Apparently you can get fired for talking smack to your boss, but kick him in the head and everything’s fine…

More video promo showing all the matches for the Royal Rumble this Sunday and all the stats for the Rumble match. I like this promo because The Royal Rumble match was always my favorite WWE event growing up.

Here we go, it’s Main Event time!!

• Fatal Four Way Match
• John Morrison vs. The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

John Morrison comes out followed by the Miz and we’re off to a commercial break. I can’t wait to see “Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia!!!!!” Back from the break we see Mark Henry coming to the ring. Finally Finlay comes out to his happy Hornswoggle music, I miss his heel music. The bell rings and Finlay instantly becomes the face in peril as everyone goes after him. Henry stands back as Miz and Morrison pound away on Finlay in the corner. They whip Finlay into the corner and Morrison misses a charging elbow as the Miz eats a clothesline from Finlay. Finlay picks Morrison up in a fireman’s carry and dumps him out to the floor then runs into a boot from Henry. Henry turns his attention to the Miz and hits him with an AVALANCHE, Morrison tries a sneaky spring board heel kick butt ends up eating a head butt. Henry follows with a 747 splash on the Miz for 1-2-NO!! Finlay breaks up the pin fall. Finlay crawls over to the Miz and looks for a suplex but gets a kick to the gut from Henry as we go to commercial. MMmmm Pizza Hut!! Back from commercial we see Henry hitting a nice press slam on Finlay, that’s one strong mo-fo. Miz and Morrison double team Henry and the crowd loves it!! So much for being heels. They back Henry into the corner with punches and kicks. Miz hits his flying clothesline in the corner followed by Morrison’s springboard heel kick which puts Henry on the ropes. Bossman straddle from the Miz connects as Morrison kicks Finlay to the floor. Miz and Morrison pose in the ring in a very non-homo moment. UH OH, Henry is fighting back!! Head butt to Miz, head butt to Morrison, clothesline to the Miz, clothesline to Morrison, double clothesline to the Miz and Morrison!! Henry is on fire!!! Finlay’s back in the ring on the second turnbuckle, he dives at Henry but we all know where that normally ends. BearHug City!! Or as I like to say Bearhugtown USA. Henry releases the hold just to kick Finlay in the face, what a jerk!! The Miz jumps on Henry’s back for a sleeper but gets slammed to the mat for his troubles. Now Morrison comes from behind and pounds on Henry, but he NO-SELLS and Morrison begs off. Henry knees Morrison in the gut, whips him into the roes and hits in with a flap-jack. Henry stands tall and screams like a madman, but here comes Finlay with the SHILLELAGH and chops Henry down; DDT follows 1-2-NO! Morrison and Miz break up the pin and kick Henry to the floor. Grisham and Striker take cheap shots at the city of Cleveland…. What did Cleveland ever do to them? Finlay tries to roll up Morrison but the Miz breaks that up. Now on to some Miz and Morrison double team, Finlay looks to be in some serious trouble. They hit a double gut buster but choose not to pin, more double teaming follows. Mark Henry decides he’s had enough and goes to the locker room has Finlay hits a double bulldog on the Miz and Morrison. Here comes Hornswoggle with an ugly (I mean really ugly) tadpole splash on Morrison. Morrison rolls out of the ring as Finlay hits Miz with a seated senton. Finlay whips Miz into the corner, running shoulder block follows and here comes the Celtic Cross. Finlay can’t get the cover cuz Morrison knees him in the head. Morrison decides to cover Miz instead of Finlay for the 1-2-3! The Miz looks very unhappy but Morrison did what he had to do to win. Do I smell problems in their future? Probably not, they are definitely the best tag team in the WWE; it would be stupid to break them up. As for the match, it was your typical fatal four way with Miz and Morrison carrying the entire match. This is what you would expect for a Main Event on ECW. **½ John Morrison gloats and Miz is all pissed as the show goes off the air.

Final Thoughts:

Again, your very typical ECW show. They spent most of the show doing video promos for the Royal Rumble instead of worrying about putting a good card together. Had I been at that RAW/ECW taping, I would have been a little mad. The show was garbage and really didn’t need to exist. The only thing worth wild was the end of the Fatal Four Way match, but definitely nothing you need to go out of your way to see. 3/4* for this ECW.