ECW on Sci-Fi
January 27, 2009
Cleveland, OH
(taped 1/26/2009)

The Current Champions are as follows:

World Champion: John Cena (11/23/2008)
Intercontinental Champion: CM Punk (1/19/2009)
Women’s Champion: Melina (1/26/2009)
World Tag Team Champions: The Miz & John Morrison (12/13/2008)
WWE Champion: Edge (1/26/2009)
U.S. Champion: Shelton Benjamin (7/20/2008)
Diva’s Champion: Maryse (12/26/2008)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Carlito & Primo Colon (9/26/2008)
ECW Champion: Jack Swagger (1/13/2009)

Tonight is gonna be AWESOME!! Tommy Dreamer is going to work on being championship material by taking on the “World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry. This is gonna be a slobber-knocker!

Your hosts are Todd Grisham and Matt “the biggest Rush fan ever” Striker

Show starts with Todd talking about how “shocking” the Royal Rumble was. The only thing shocking about the Royal Rumble was that they let Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. be 2 of the final 4 in the Rumble. Other than that, I think everyone knew Randy Orton was gonna win, hell my cat knew, and he’s a cat. Anyways, here comes Teddy Long sporting a weird “hair-lip” mustache thing. He talks about the Matt Hardy beating up his brother thing (that was a little shocking) and shows a video highlighting it. He says that Matt Hardy wants to be released from ECW so he can go back to Smackdown and mess with Jeff some more. How long was Matt on ECW, a few months? Teddy continues by hyping the show. THE BOOGYMAN’S gonna be in action!!! SWEET!! UH OH…. Here comes Jack Swagger to a nice heel reaction. He’s definitely a hateable kinda guy. Swagger says that tonight will be a good show because he’s the new face of ECW and that should be celebrated. He continues by saying that there will be a celebration tonight in his honor. Can I come? Before Swagger can leave the ring the Boogeyman comes out from under the ring and freaks him out. Swagger goes backstage looking all scared as we go to commercial. Wrestlemania promo!!! Back from commercial and Boogeyman is still doing Boogeythings in the ring. Who will his opponent be??? Ricky Ortiz, that’s who!!

• The Boogeyman vs. Ricky Ortiz

Ricky comes out rockin’ the rally towels like always. I’m a little surprised cuz I’m trying to figure out who’s gonna do the job. Ricky comes out and tells Boogey that he doesn’t need to eat worms to get the fans behind him, all he needs is a RALLY TOWEL!! Really?? I guess we all need a rally towel. Well Boogey doesn’t seem to want a rally towel cuz he just levels Ortiz with a right hand then proceeds to clothesline him out over the top rope. Ortiz, stunned, heads back to the locker room as Boogeyman’s music starts back up. I guess we aren’t having a match after all……. LAME!!

Backstage we see Teddy talking on the phone, all of a sudden Jack Swagger runs in all mad cuz someone took his title. How do you lose that giant monster of a belt?? Swagger wants Teddy to help him find his belt, but Teddy’s got better things to do. Teddy tells Swagger to find Tiffany. Good luck with that, she’s probably banging Ortiz. Onward to a commercial break.

Back from commercial we see Paul Burchill in the ring with his freaky looking “sister” Katie Lea. Finlay’s music starts up and this should be a pretty good brawl.

• Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. Paul Burchill w/Katie Lea

I wonder where DJ Gabriel is. I thought he was the one Burchill was jobbing to.  Well I guess Finlay’s gotta look good after losing a Swagger a few weeks ago. The bell rings and we have a feeling out process. Collar and elbow leads to Finlay putting Burchill in a side headlock. Burchill sends Finlay into the ropes and Finlay takes him out with a shoulder.  More feeling out as they lock fingers. Finlay kicks Burchill’s hand, rings the arm, pulls his hair the put him on the mat and covers for 1. Finlay hits a nice European uppercut that puts Burchill back on the mat. Back up and Finlay connects with another European uppercut that levels Burchill. Todd lets us know that is was indeed a “European Uppercut from a European.” That’s brilliant Todd. More brawling until Burchill connects with a HARD lariat to change the tides. Burchill covers a couple of times for 1 then puts Finlay in a front face. Burchill backs Finlay into the corner and continues to pound away. This match is very stiff by the way. Burchill locks in a reverse chinlock to kill a little time. Finlay battles out with a knee to the nuts and a forearm to the face but Burchill hits the brakes with another HARD lariat. More pounding away and now he locks in an arm bar. Finlay battles out again but is sent chest first into the corner as Burchill comes at him with a flying knee. OH DANG, Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring and starts messing with Katie Lea. Here comes Paul to play a little game I call “beat up the midget.” All of a sudden Finlay kills Burchill with a baseball slide and slams his face into the announce table. You don’t mess with Hornswoggle!! Back in the ring Finlay hits 3 clotheslines and his seated senton for 1. So much for 2 counts in this match. Finlay connects with his fireman’s carry flippy slam move for our first 2 count of the match. Burchill tries to fight back but runs into a backdrop. Finlay hints at using the SHILELAGH but the ref is right there for the first time EVER. Finlay hits the Celtic Cross for the 1-2-3. Man that match was stiff. After the match you can see blood in Finlay’s hair and he’s all bruised up in the face. It was a pretty entertaining match if you like a good old fashion brawl. *½

Backstage we see Ricky talking to Tiffany. He doesn’t understand why the Boogeyman attacked him. I feel his pain, all he was trying to do was get the crowd rallied up! Swagger shows up and forces Tiffany to help him look for his belt as we go to commercial. I am totally buying the new WWE album “Voices.”

Now we see the Trailer for the new John Cena movie “12 Rounds.” It looks like every other action movie I’ve ever seen EVER. I may still watch it though. Back from commercial we see Mark Henry walking towards the stage, he looks slightly upset. On his way he passes Swagger, Swagger politely asks him if he’s seen the ECW Title. Mark Henry gets all defensive and yells at Swagger, then continues onward to the ring as we go to ANOTHER commercial break. I can’t wait to see “Friday the 13^th!!!”

Back from commercial and we see a video package showing the events that have happened on RAW over the past two weeks. Randy Orton kicked the boss so the boss’s son came out and opened up a can of whoop-ass on him. Like Shane McMahon could really take on Orton. And we are on to our main event. That’s right folks, only TWO matches tonight; so much for this being a “wrestling show.”

• Tommy Dreamer vs. Mark Henry w/Tony Atlas

On ECW a couple of weeks ago, Tommy Dreamer promises all of us, including me, that he would retire if he didn’t win the ECW Title by June 6^th. So Dreamer’s first match towards becoming the No.1 contender for the title will be against Mark Henry. Well since Dreamer is 0-3 against Henry, this is not looking to good for him. Dreamer actually looks like he’s lost a little weight, I’m sure it’s not gonna help him much. As soon as the bell rings the “ECW” chants start, this guy is really popular. Collar and elbow tie up leads to Dreamer being thrown to the mat. Dreamer tries his best to mount some kind of offense with punches and kicks. Henry reverses a whip to the corner and tries an Avalanche but nobody’s home. Dreamer goes for a roll-up but Henry sits on his arm. Henry puts Dreamer in a hammerlock and slams him shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Henry connects with a head butt, cover for 1. More arm work and Dreamer tries to battle back but is DESTROYED by one of those Mark Henry tackles. Why do people always run at Mark Henry? Henry goes back to the arm to kill a little time. Striker says that Tommy Dreamer is known as the “Man in the Box” because of his will and determination. I think it’s because of his ring music. Finally after a good minute of killing time, Dreamer gets back to his feet just to be thrown across the ring again. Henry covers for 1 and goes back to a hammerlock to kill even more time. What’s the point of giving them this much time if they are going to bore me to death? Dreamer’s back up to his feet and connects with a jaw breaker to break the hold. Henry kicks Dreamer and picks him up for a scoop slam then completely whiffs on an elbow drop which finally changes the tide of the match. Dreamer connects with a low drop kick and crawls to the corner. Henry tries another Avalanche but runs into a boot, Dreamer’s on the second rope and actually connects with a flying tackle that puts Henry on the mat. The cover gets 2 as Tony Atlas gets up on the apron. Dreamer scares him off and hits Henry with a few drop kicks to the knee; so much for selling the arm injury. Henry’s down in the corner now which sets up for the Dreamer surfboard kick. Dreamer goes back up to the second rope but is caught for the World’s Strongest Slam which gets the 1-2-3. So much for Tommy Dreamer’s push, I’m sure it’s on the way. It makes sense for Henry to win, but why would this match have even needed to happen? It was a terrible match with Henry relying on too many rest holds and Dreamer just looking bad. GARBAGE.

Backstage we see Tiffany, Swagger and Teddy in Teddy’s office. Swagger wants to know what Teddy plans on doing about his belt. Teddy decides the only way to settle this is to go out to the ring. Commercial break time, more hyping of Wrestlemania 25.

Back from commercial we see Swagger, Tiffany and Teddy in the ring. Teddy tells whoever took the belt to come out and bring it back. After about a minute Finlay comes out and says that he knows who might have taken the title. He looks under the ring, and low and behold, Hornswoggle has the ECW Title. Swagger does not look happy right now. Finlay tries to calm Swagger down but he’s not hearing it. Swagger thinks that Finlay told him to take the title. Finlay responds by saying that if he wanted the title, he would take it. Swagger continues to insult Finlay by calling him a lousy father and demands that he get his ECW title back. Eventually Hornswoggle goes to return the belt but Swagger pushes him down which leads to Finlay flooring him. Finlay beats Swagger down then takes his head off with the ECW title. Finlay’s music starts back up and we are off the air.

Final Thoughts

This was another one of your typical ECW shows. There were way too many video promos and backstage stuff happening in my opinion. The show definitely needed more than 2 matches, especially if your main event is Dreamer vs. Henry. I guess we’ll be seeing a title match between Finlay and Swagger, but what’s the point; Didn’t Swagger beat Finlay a few weeks ago? This show was a mess and spent more time hyping RAW and Wrestlemania than worrying about putting on a good show. ½* for this ECW.