Bigelow’s Raw Report 4/20/09
Monday Night Raw 4/13/09
London O2 Arena
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
– We fade up into our opening animation before heading inside the O2 Arena where we are on tape from London, England. It is the go home week for Backlash and we are welcomed by Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. We are immediately joined by Smackdown’s Chris Jericho, who heads to the ring bedecked in a suit. For the past year, he has felt like a castaway. An honest man stuck an island surrounded by liars, cheaters and sycophants. He doesn’t feel like that anymore because he was drafted to Smackdown and this is his last appearance on Raw forever. His brilliance has never been appreciated and he was never valued as an honest man in a dishonest world. While we all wallow in our deceitfulness, he is on to bigger and better things. Raw will change for the worse without him, and within six months we will be begging for him to come back to Raw, but he won’t do it. He is done with Raw. Jericho is interrupted by Ricky Steamboat! The Dragon emerges and walks down to the ring to a nice pop. Steamboat tells Jericho that he is wrong as the audience isn’t unappreciative. Wrestlemania week they showed him more love and appreciation than he could ever dream of. Those were the greatest moments in his career. But if they won’t give Jericho appreciation, Steamboat will. Ricky thanks Chris for bringing back a moment and feeling he never thought he would see again: the passion to perform one last time. He wants to turn back history and feel proud of what he accomplished. He never thought he would be on another Wrestlemania or at Raw and if it wasn’t for Jericho it would have never happened. He is out here to thank Jericho for that. Jericho says he didn’t come out here to thank him; he came out to bask in the spotlight one last time. Jericho reminds Steamboat that he is finished and that nobody cares about him any more. All his friends haven’t been seen or heard from since Wrestlemania and he will do the same thing to Steamboat. Just because he got a great response on Raw during a ten man tag in which he was in the ring for :27 doesn’t mean he still has it. The crowd sees differently. Jericho tells him he is delusional and that he doesn’t have it any more. The time has come to put him out of his misery, just like his lecherous, parasite friends. Jericho wants a one on one match with Steamboat at Backlash. If Steamboat accepts, he will be finished off. Before Steamboat can answer, we are joined by John Cena, who gets his usual huge split pop. Jericho cuts Cena off before he even speaks. He knows Cena’s shtick and doesn’t want to hear him pander to all his fans. I think he just called Cena Sting by accident. Jericho is finished with Cena, Steamboat, the parasites and Raw. His last act on this show is to walk out on Cena. Jericho takes off as the crowd serenades him farewell. As he walks off, Steamboat officially accepts the challenge for Backlash. Jericho stops and smirks and then keeps walking. Cena cuts him off and says that Steamboat can do just fine on his own and he didn’t come out here to back him up. He actually has a message for Jericho because Vickie Guerrero isn’t here tonight. Edge will not compete tonight but she has decreed that Cena must compete tonight. Cena says that Jericho walking out right now is not his last act on Raw, a match with Cena tonight will be his last act on Raw. Jericho stares off and then leaves as Steamboat and Cena chat in the ring and we head to break.
– We are back and Cole and King are talking about last week’s draft and the ensuing ratings that came with it. Chavo Guerrero is in the ring and he reminds us that he has officially been drafted to Raw. He wants to take the time to thank Vickie, the new GM of Raw. Not only can he push around Vickie’s wheelchair, he can push around anyone on the Raw roster…so bring it on!
1) Chavo Guerrero vs. Batista
Well Chavo, consider it broughten as the Animal makes his way out to the ring. The bell sounds and Chavo charges, but catches a boot to the gut. Batista hits the Batistabomb and that is all she wrote. Batista d. Guerrero with the Batistabomb; Grade: 0
– Batista quickly walks off as Chavo grabs the mic and apologizes to Vickie, saying he wasn’t ready and that this will never happen again. Batista heads back to the ring as the crowd chants for him. Chavo changes his tune and says he was ready, but Batista doesn’t care and drops him with another Batistabomb. Batista heads off as we go to break.
– I think Patrick Chewing has eaten a few too many Snickers himself. My Lord.
– We are back from commercials and peering out onto the Thames River and Big Ben. Backstage, Shane is walking and he congratulates Batista on his win. He wants to talk about last week, but Batista understands things got a little crazy. Shane wants to make sure they are on the same page for Sunday and didn’t appreciate Batista drilling him in the corner. Batista didn’t appreciate Shane taking him out of the ring. Shane says he just wanted to make sure they are all keeping the focus for Sunday. Batista agrees and walks off.
2) Kane vs. CM Punk
Kane makes his way to the ring for the final time on Raw and we go back to Wrestlemania to check out the closing moments of the MITB match. Speaking of which, Mr. MITB himself is out next. Punk is also heading to Smackdown and is making his final appearance here. King feels we may see Punk on Raw again in the future because he can cash in his title shot against any Champion and both are on Raw. Punk kicks away to start as Cole tells us that the draft takes full effect next week. Kane slugs Punk down and gets a near fall. He mares Punk and hits a low dropkick for two. Kane clamps on a reverse chinlock but Punk elbows free. Punk charges but Kane plants him with a sidewalk slam. Kane sets up for the chokeslam, but Punk kicks him in the face. He follows with the knee in the corner but Kane shoves him off on the bulldog attempt. Punk leaps to the outside and hits a springboard clothesline for one. Kane elbows out of a G2S attempt and puts Punk down. He grabs Punk by the throat, but Punk slips free, hits a DDT and rolls Kane through with a small package to pick up the win. Punk d. Kane with a small package; Grade: 1
– Kane smiles and Punk heads off as we head to break.
– We return from break and are immediately joined by Santino Marella. As he heads out we go back to Wrestlemania to relive Santina Marella winning the title of Miss Wrestlemania. Last week, he lost his match to the Great Khali so now his poor sister has to go to Smackdown to kiss the Punjabi Playboy. They aren’t happy but they are Marellas and are people of honor. So, he is bringing Santina out for an apology right now. The people who think Santino and Santina are the same person are crazy, and he is going to prove them wrong now. Santina appears on the Titantron and says she cannot live up to the family obligation and kiss Khali. She has develops a blister on her lip. Santino asks her where she is and she says she is Italy, the best country in the world. Her doctors told her the blister will clear up this weekend, but there is no way she can go to Smackdown and kiss Khali. Santina starts speaking like a chipmunk, proving that she is on tape and said tape is malfunctioning. Santino says his sister loves Red Bull. Santino says it is too bad the rules are so stringent and Khali is on Smackdown while she is on Raw. Santino reads a nice little poem about him and his sister for us all but it is interrupted by Beth and Rosa. Beth is sorry to hear about his sister’s blister and Santino says it happens to the best families. Beth tells Santino not to worry as Vickie has set aside time at Backlash for Santina to kiss Khali. Santino doesn’t like that development at all. Santina speaks again on the Tron, thanking Santino for the beautiful poem. Santino yells to get Santina off the Tron as Santina starts singing. He doesn’t like what Beth is up to and says she is covered in the jealousy. She better pray she wins back the Women’s title tonight because she will never be Miss Wrestlemania. And with that, we are joined by Melina for our next match.
3) Beth Phoenix vs. Melina for the Women’s Championship
This match will determine if the Women’s title stays on Raw or goes to Smackdown with Melina, and it will go down after this break. We are back and the bell sounds. Beth catches Melina on a float over and plants her with a powerslam for two. Beth hammers away at Melina and clamps on a chinlock. Melina fights loose but Beth catches her and spins her up into a reverse torture rack. Beth runs Melina into the corner chest first and then uses Melina’s foot to beat on her with. Melina fires back with some kicks and right hands. She kicks Beth down and gets a near fall. Beth gets a near fall as well. She seats Melina on the top rope but Melina fights her off and comes off with a faceplant for two. Rosa hops up on the apron and starts jawing with Melina. Beth comes charging in but Melina dodges her and she spears Rosa to the floor. Melina nails Beth with a Canadian Destroyer and picks up the win. Melina d. Beth with the Canadian Destroyer; Grade: 1.5
– We go backstage where Triple H is getting his gear on. He is joined by Shane and he wishes him good luck tonight. Shane can’t stop thinking about Sunday’s match and they need to be careful not to screw it up. All three of them can get amped up and lose control. And if Triple H gets DQ’d, Orton will become champion and that cannot happen. Triple H vows it won’t happen because he will get the anger out tonight. We cut over to Chris Jericho walking as we head to break.
– We are back and checking out Piccadilly Square before heading back inside the arena for our next match.
4) John Cena vs. Chris Jericho in a non title match
The Champ is here and out first to practically the same loud split reaction as before. Jericho saunters out next for his final Raw match. The bell sounds and Jericho attacks with right hands. He works Cena over in the corner and chokes him with his boot. He mares Cena over and kicks him in the spine. Jericho drops him with a back suplex and then taunts him. Jericho nails a back elbow and smacks Cena around while taunting some more. The crowd is behind Jericho here as slaps Cena some more. Cena fires back with a right hand but Jericho nails a clothesline for two. Jericho pulls Cena up and takes him over with a nice suplex for two. Cena lands a boot to Jericho and then the two men trade big right hands until Cena finally ducks one and lands a pair of shoulderblocks. Cena hits the spinning sidewalk slam and drop the five knuckle shuffle. He hoists Jericho up for the AA, but Chris counters with a desperation DDT for a near fall. Cena rolls out to the apron and Jericho tries a springboard dive. Cena catches him in mid air and tries for the AA, but Jericho slips loose and drives him off the apron and into the steps. Both men are down as we go to break. When we return, Jericho gets a near fall on Cena. Jericho kicks Cena around on the mat and taunts the fans. He pulls Cena up and runs him into the corner where he stomps on him. Jericho works Cena over in the corner and then paintbrushes him some more. Jericho eats a back elbow on a charge but he takes Cena down by his legs. Cena twists Jericho off, but Chris comes back with a flying forearm for two. Jericho tries a facebuster, but Cena pushes him off into the corner and across the top rope to block it. Cena hoists Jericho off the top rope and onto his shoulders. He climbs up with Jericho on his back, but Chris slips free and drops down. Jericho takes him over with an electric chair for two. Cena dodges a Lionsault and both men are down again. Cena takes Jericho down with a drop toehold, but Jericho rolls Cena over with a small package for two. Cena powers Jericho up from his knees and hoists him up on his shoulders in a great show of strength. Jericho lands on his feet off the AA attempt and drills the Codebreaker in an awesome spot. Jericho crawls over and gets a two count. Jericho goes for another Codebreaker, but Cena blocks it and hits the AA. Cena crawls over and covers but Jericho barely kicks out. Cena slowly gets up and heads to the top. He tries for a legdrop, but Jericho was setting him up by bending over and hooks Cena’s legs on the way down. Jericho locks in the Walls as Cena writhes in pain. Cena counters the Walls and locks in the STF. Jericho flails away and gets near the ropes, but Cena releases the hold to pull Jericho back to the center of the ring. Jericho takes the opportunity to nail an Enziguri for two. Jericho pulls Cena into the corner and heads up top. Cena fights back with right hands and tries for a superplex, but Jericho fights him off. This allows for Edge to come out and shove both men off the top rope to draw the bell. Damn, that match was really cooking before the cheap finish. I guess it helps add a lot of heat to the PPV match, so I am still going to grade it highly because they worked hard, the crowd was into it the whole way through and it was a really good TV match with great near falls and reversals. Cena and Jericho wrestle to a no contest when Edge interferes; Grade: 3.5
– Edge hammers away at Cena and buries him with a spear. Edge grabs two chairs and sets one under Cena’s head. He grabs the other and hammers Cena with the Conchairto. Edge has the mic and says the winner in a Last Man Standing match is the man who knocks his opponent unconscious for a count of ten. Edge begins to count and reaches ten and then announces himself as the winner and new champion. Edge heads off as we head to break.
– We return from break and check out our last segment once again. During the break, the woozy Cena was helped to the back. We then head to the ring for our next match.
5) Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show in a non title match
Rey is out first for his final Raw match. His opponent is a new member of the Raw roster: Big Show. Show walks out to the ring as we go back to Smackdown on Friday when Show beat Jeff Hardy with a right hand. The bell sounds and Rey comes at Show but Show just slugs him down. He picks Rey up over his head and spikes him back to the mat. Show puts Rey on the top and chops him out to the floor. Show palms Rey into the ring by his head in an awesome spot. Rey kicks Show on a charge and then sends him into the ropes with a headscissors. He hits a 619 to Show’s back and then drop toeholds him into the middle rope. Show catches him on another 619 attempt, drags him in the ring and crushes him with a right hand to the head for the win. Show d. Mysterio with a punch; Grade: 1
– Rey is out as the trainers come out to check on him. We see a replay and then head to break.
– The Subway Slam of the Week takes us to Superstars when Shane McMahon worked over Cody Rhodes with a chair and then nailed the coast to coast. We check out downtown London again before heading to the announce table. We check out some clips from the Batista/DiBiase match from last Friday before cutting backstage. Cody and Ted are chatting in the locker room and Cody says that Batista, triple H and Shane are time bombs that aren’t on the same page. Ted says it is great being in this group but it isn’t the same when the leader isn’t a…Orton cuts him off and asks him to finish his statement. Ted says there should be no problems on Sunday. Orton says he the best in the business and nobody is even close to him and that is why Ted and Cody are putting their careers in his hands. Triple H is on borrowed time and he needed a sledgehammer to get the job done at Wrestlemania. This Sunday, they will win and tonight he will beat Triple H.
6) Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a no disqualification non title match
Back in the arena, we are joined by Triple H as it is main event time. But before the match starts, we head to break. When we return, Orton saunters to the ring for his Wrestlemania rematch. Orton attacks off the b ell, hammering away in the corner with right hands. Hunter fires back and turns the table. He lands a clothesline and pounds away at Orton. Orton bails to the floor and lands a kick as Hunter follows him out. Hunter reverses a whip and sends Orton into the barricade. He tears up the announce table and sends Randy on top of it. Orton is able to spike Hunter’s head into the table to stop his momentum. Orton grabs a trash can from under the ring but Hunter blocks it. Hunter grabs the can but Orton blocks him and they head back in. Orton nails his inverted backbreaker and gets two. Orton lands an uppercut but Hunter comes back with a high knee. He clotheslines Orton to the floor as Cole talks about the night after Summerslam 2004 once again. Orton grabs the trash can and smashes Hunter in the head with it as he reaches through the ropes. Orton catches his breath as we take our last break. When we return, Orton sends Hunter flying into the steps. Orton tosses Hunter into the ring and tosses the steps in as well. He climbs back in and runs the steps into Hunter for a near fall. Back outside, Orton assembles the steps, drags Hunter across the apron and sets up a DDT while standing on the steps. Hunter slips loose and spikes Orton onto the steps with a double leg hook. Orton dodges a chair shot and slides in the ring. Hunter follows and hammers away in the corner. Hunter hits a facebreaker for two. Hunter grabs the trash can and charges but Orton kicks back to the mat. He charges, but Hunter drops Orton the trash can with a spinebuster for two. Hunter rolls outside and grabs the chair. He slides back in and buries it into Orton’s gut and then smacks him across the back with it. Orton is on his knees and is able to punch Hunter in the gut as he came with another chair shot. Orton drops Hunter with a DDT on the chair. He stumbles around the ring and finally pulls himself up, lining up for the punt. Hunter dodges it and chop blocks Orton from behind. Hunter wraps Orton’s leg around the post and then smacks it with a chair. Back inside, Hunter spikes Orton’s leg to the mat twice and then drops some elbows on it. Hunter locks in the figure four but Orton gets to the ropes and pushes himself to the floor to break the hold. Hunter goes out and tosses him back inside. He slugs away at Orton in the corner and continues to work the leg. Orton does a great limp body sell. Hunter grabs the chair again and sets it up on Orton’s ankle. This brings out Rhodes and DiBiase and they beat Triple H down. Shane comes out to help and he fights off Ted and Cody, natch. Ted hooks the top rope and Shane goes flying to the floor on a charge. Ted and Cody work Hunter over some more, but Batista comes to help out as well. He takes out Ted and Cody as well and then spears Orton. Batista tries to spear Cody, but he moves and Batista nails Shane. Hunter gets in his face, but Batista turns and takes out Ted. Hunter takes out Cody but turns right into an RKO to give Orton the big win. That was a rally good match with a hot finish and a nice win for Randy. Orton d. Triple H with the RKO; Grade: 3
– Legacy heads to the back as Batista rolls in to check on Hunter. All six men stare each other down as we fade out. See you Sunday at the Dunk!
Final Grade: B
MVP: John Cena & Chris Jericho
Runner Up: Triple H & Randy Orton
Non MVP: Chavo Guerrero
Runner Up: Beth Phoenix
Posted on April 20, 2009, in Justin Rozzero, WWE and tagged Batista, Beth Phoenix, Big Show, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Edge, Great Khali, John Cena, Kane, Melina, Randy Orton, Raw, Rey Mysterio, Ricky Steamboat, Santino Marella, Shane McMahon, Ted DiBiase Jr., The Legacy, Triple H. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.