WCW Monday Nitro
January 13, 1997
New Orleans, LA
Superdome

The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Hollywood Hogan (8/10/1996)
WCW U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero (12/29/1996)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders (10/27/1996)
WCW World Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal (8/20/1996)
WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Ultimo Dragon (12/29/1996)
WCW Women’s Champion: Akira Hokuto (12/29/1996)

We can’t even get through the intro without the Giant running into the nWo locker room shouting TV-G insults at Hollywood Hogan before security carries him out. Who cares. We’re in the Superdome!

HOUR NUMBER ONE! Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.

• Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. JL

Apparently Hogan is trying to back out of the match at Souled Out against the Giant. They run the ropes a little bit to start with Chavo snapping off a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. To the floor, Chavo wipes out JL with a pescado. JL battles back with a crazy Eddie Guerrero-style dive from the top onto Chavo. Looks like he hurts himself too. JL continues with the Eddie offense with a Hilo, but Chavo moves out of the way. Crossbody block by Chavo gets two. JL catches Chavo up top and drills him with a NASTY hurracanrana. Cover, 1-2-NO! Chavo comes back with a Flying Butthole and connects on JL with his daddy’s famous MOONSAULT PRESS for the 1-2-3. (4:16) JL seemed to have an off night, but the crowd was WAY into Chavo and he gave them a good show. **¼

There’s something satisfying to me about seeing Public Enemy shilling WCW merchandise.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out carrying a WCW flag again. Gene Okerlund grabs him for a word. He calls on Sting to help out against the dastardly new World order. Before his opponent Super Calo can come out, Sting pops up in the ring and gives Duggan the SCORPION DEATH DROP. The guy had it coming. So much for the match. We need to get a match going now on the fly because this is LIVE!

• Chris Jericho vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman

Alright, here we go. This doesn’t last long. Jericho levels Pittman with shoulderblocks, but then he gets tossed. Lucky for him, he lands on the apron and catches Pittman with a missile dropkick for the 1-2-3. (1:06) Jericho celebrates with some kid in the front row wearing an nWo shirt. OH MAN! Is Jericho joining the nWo? Tune into Monday Nitro next week to find out!

• Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) vs. High Voltage

Rage and Kaos try to make a match out of this as they work over Booker. Meanwhile in the back, the Giant breaks into the new World order locker room again! Wow, now he’s using TV-Y7 insults. He called Hogan a big monkey! Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan have a big laugh about it. Back to the match, Booker takes Rage’s head off with a Harlem Sidekick. Booker misses a flying knee drop to set up a tag to Kaos. The match breaks down as Stevie Ray puts Kaos up on his shoulders for the HEAT SEEKER. Cover, 1-2-3. (4:06) I love me some hot crowds. Who doesn’t? *½

Get your nWo Souled Out t-shirt and poster for only 25 bucks.

WCW Saturday Night! Watch it IF YOU WEEL! 6:05PM eastern! TBS! The Barbarian meets Arn Anderson! TV Champ Lord Steven Regal will be in action. Plus, Lex Luger takes on Scott Norton! Don’t miss out! It’s the MUTHASHIP! PAY WINDAHS, CLUBBERIN, AND PLUNDAH, BABY!

Out comes Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase, and Vincent to take over the announce table. See ya later, Tony and Larry Z. Larry makes sure to tell Eric that if he keeps messing up like he is, he’s going to be mowing Verne Gagne’s yard again. Ouch. They show an acid trip of a Sting video to show what he’s been doing lately to people.

• Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mark Starr

Once again, Bischoff and DiBiase are convinced a WCW guy is on their side. This doesn’t last long. DIAMOND CUTTER! (:53) Word to your mom, Mark.

Scott Hall and Kevin Nash head out to welcome DDP into the nWo. He and Nash embrace before DDP puts on the shirt. When Hall shakes hands with Page, DDP pulls him in for the DIAMOND CUTTER! Nash turns around looking all confused. He misses a charge at DDP, flies out over the top rope, and turns over a table where one of the legs apparently takes out a small child. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight a star was born and his name is Diamond Dallas Page. He leaves through the crowd and becomes the People’s Champ of 1997. Meanwhile, Bischoff and DiBiase vow revenge.

Using the MTV black and white effects, the Outsiders cut a promo on the Steiner brothers leading up to their match at Souled Out.

By the way after the break, Tony and Larry Z are back.

• WCW U.S. Heavyweight Champion Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

I do believe this is non-title. Schiavone announces that the WCW executive committee is making sure that Hollywood Hogan will have to face the Giant tonight during this program. Hmm, they announce this right before Raw came on. Those weasels! Lots of great mat stuff to start. Guerrero connects with a back suplex and a Hilo for two. Malenko tries to stop a figure-four, but legs are stronger than arms. Malenko finds the ropes anyway and bails to the floor. Back inside, Malenko hammers Eddie down, but then Guerrero counters a powerbomb with a lucha armdrag. Malenko delivers a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and tries a monkey flip, but Eddie lands on his feet and drills Malenko with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Malenko shoves off a Tornado DDT and delivers a running knee to the gut before grabbing an ab stretch. He cheats a little grabbing the ropes, but Eddie escapes anyways. Meanwhile, Syxx is out just like last week at the top of a ladder showing off the US title belt. Eddie wins a slugfest and applies a Gory Special. He powers Malenko to the mat for a rollup sequence to trigger a bunch of nearfalls. Eddie walks the ropes and hits Malenko with a hurracanrana for 1-2-NO! Brainbuster by Malenko gets two. Guerrero counters a second brainbuster and then gives Malenko one of his own. Could it be time for the Frog Splash? Nope. Instead, Guerrero climbs to the middle rope to yell at Syxx. That allows Malenko to powerbomb Eddie down for the 1-2-3. (12:15) A little slow at the start, but picked up for a decent match much like the last time Syxx came out and interrupted Guerrero. ***¼

HOUR NUMBER TWO! Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Mike Tenay.

• Konnan vs. Super Calo

This crowd pops for everybody. Lots of lucha stuff leads to a tope con hilo on the floor from Super Calo. Back in, Konnan comes back with a Rolling Lariat. He follows up with a series of powerbombs, but then Calo catches Konnan up top for a crazy headscissors. What. The 187 fails the first time, but not on the second try. Konnan picks up the win. (3:00) Turn your brain off for this match. This was just three minutes of nonsense. Fun to watch, but clearly this made no sense. *

• Chris Benoit (w/Woman) vs. Jeff Jarrett

Yay Benoit is here. In the back, Kevin Sullivan sends out a warning to Chris Benoit by knocking over a checker board with chess pieces on it. They will both be in the United Center next week on Nitro in Chicago. Schiavone tells us that the Hogan-Giant match will be non-title because the champ must have 48 hours notice before a title defense. WHAT. Jarrett trips Benoit up and starts posing. I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Out come Arn Anderson, Mongo, and Debra to make matters worse. Snap suplex by Jarrett gets two. Benoit fights back with a great clothesline. Jarrett gets rough with a clothesline of his own and hits the Bossman straddle for two. Hotshot scores another nearfall for Jarrett. Swinging neckbreaker begins to set up the FIGURE-FOUR, but Arn Anderson jumps up on the apron to stop that. Benoit fires back and chops Jarrett up against the ropes where Mongo is supposed to nail Jarrett with the Halliburton briefcase. As Debra tries to take hold of the briefcase since she has this weird attraction to Jeff, Mongo pulls it away and hits Benoit by mistake. Cover by Jarrett, 1-2-3. (3:33) You fool! The Four Horsemen is falling apart and it’s all because of Debra. *

Afterwards, Chris Benoit berates Mongo and Debra for making the Four Horsemen look like a bunch of idiots. Benoit doesn’t care if she talks bad about him, but she doesn’t want to say anything negative about Woman because he’s completely crazy. Mongo apologizes for the mistake and compares what he did to Kevin Greene and the Carolina Panthers losing in the NFC championship game to the Green Bay Packers. Debra gets on the mic and she’s getting Vickie Guerrero type heat just for speaking. If Benoit doesn’t care for Mongo’s apology, then they settle this the old fashioned way. Arn is all bent out of shape with all this Horsemen business. Somebody call the WAHHHHmbulance.

• Scotty Riggs vs. Billy Kidman

Scotty Riggs is the new Tito Santana as he’s still looking like half of the American Males when that tag team is OVER. I don’t think anyone really cares for this match. Basically an armbar affair with a few high spots. Buff Bagwell comes out and talks about how buff he is. It doesn’t appear that Riggs knows he’s there. Riggs avoids a 450 splash (Tenay ~ “There’s that Shooting Star Press!) and delivers Bagwell’s FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX for the 1-2-3. (2:16) Okay, so maybe he does know he’s there. ¾*

It’s time to check in with Lee Marshall for the 1-800-COLLECT Road Report. Bobby Heenan says Lee has more wind than the city of Chicago, which is where’s at right now hyping Monday Nitro. Another week, another bad weasel joke.

AARON NEVILLE IS HERE!

• Lex Luger vs. Rick Fuller

I think we all know where this is going. Fuller tries his hardest, but he’s going in the TORTURE RACK. (2:58) Yep. ½*

As Luger makes his way up the aisle, the Giant heads out. They do a stand off, but they let the other go. Giant heads to the ring to meet with Gene Okerlund. How does that guy end up in the ring so fast? Giant wants Hollywood Hogan and the world title REAL BAD. No longer will he be a book end that keeps the nWo together. Tonight, Giant says he’s going to close the chapter on Hulkamania FOREVER. Umm, dude it’s NON-TITLE! Don’t do that.

• Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner (w/Scott Steiner)

Scott will make his return to the ring at Souled Out. Arn does fine against Rick Steiner until he gets tossed overhead with a belly to belly suplex. He slides out and calls the Horsemen to start heading to ringside. Tony announces that the Hogan-Giant match will be airing through the commercial breaks during the series premiere of the New Adventures of Robin Hood. We’re supposed to really believe that match lasted an extra 45 MINUTES? Tenay says that the Horsemen won’t be coming out because they are locked away arguing backstage. Finally, Arn has enough and heads to the back to lose via countout. (3:00) Oh me. Scott Steiner stumbles through an interview saying that he isn’t hurt anymore. ¼*

An nWo Souled Out ad airs.

• WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hollywood Hogan (w/Ted DiBiase) vs. The Giant

Five minutes left in the show and then you get to see the rest of the match during the first two commercial breaks of the New Adventures of Robin Hood. Well, there’s nothing on the line and if you aren’t interested in the New Adventures of Robin Hood, you’re not going to stick around. I’m sorry. That’s just reality. Heenan says that when the Giant comes out, there will be a bigger ovation in the Superdome than if the New Orleans Saints ever won a Super Bowl, which will never happen according to Bobby. Hogan gets on the mic to waste time down on the floor and says that there is no signed contract that says he has to wrestle the Giant. Well, too bad. Giant pulls him into the ring anyways and proceeds to beat the crap out of him. Once Giant goozles Hogan for the CHOKESLAM, the new World order hit the ring for the DQ as the Giant fights them all off until we fade to black. (4:00) CRAP

This becomes the Nitro main event formula for the next year or so as they promise these big PPV main events that end with the nWo storming the ring for the disqualification.