WWE: Monday Night Raw (05.16.94)

mondaynightraw

Monday Night Raw
May 16, 1994
Burlington, VT
Green Mountain State

The current WWF champs were as follows:
World Champion: Bret Hart (3/20/1994)
Intercontinental Champion: Diesel (4/30/1994)
World Tag Team Champions: The Headshrinkers (5/2/1994)

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Randy Savage.

  • Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) vs. Sparky Plugg – KOTR Qualifying Match

Sparky tries to embarrass Bigelow to start by ducking him a few times. Once they lock up, Bigelow just shoves him out to the floor. Back in, Plugg ducks a clothesline and comes back with one of his own before taking Bigelow to the floor with the Best Dropkick in the Business. Back in, Sparky avoids a diving headbutt, but gets caught for a slam for two. Back elbow nails Sparky. Bigelow runs into a boot in the corner, but then hits Plugg with a Ghetto Blaster for two. Time for the chinlock. Sparky fights out, but Bigelow works him over in the corner. Diving Headbutt connects. Sparky avoids a corner charge and takes down Bigelow with a bulldog. DDT sets up a flying bodypress for 1-2-NO! Of course, Vince counts to three anyway. Savage – “You got to learn to count, McMahon!” Bunch of running clotheslines by Sparky, but he tries one too many off the ropes as Luna grabs him by the foot. That’s enough of a distraction as Bigelow runs him over with just ONE clothesline. Bigelow slingshots himself in from the apron onto Sparky’s chest for the 1-2-3 to advance to the King of the Ring. (6:28) Surprised this one didn’t go two segments. This match worked better than the KOTR qualifier from last week. Bigelow would meet Razor Ramon at the King of the Ring in not just the opener to the PPV, but also our introduction to the beloved color commentator Art Donovan.

  • WWF Intercontinental Champion Diesel vs. Mike Moraldo

Vince announces that the new IC champion Diesel will meet the WWF champion Bret Hart at the King of the Ring. Savage chimes in and says Diesel could be both the IC and WWF champions – futuristically speaking. Is Mike Moraldo and Mike Terrace the same guy? If not, they are both very good jobbers. Anyways, Diesel singlehandedly throws this guy around – and I mean that literally. Thanks to Moraldo, I thought this was a well-done squash to really put over Diesel as a legitimate threat to Bret. Side Slam, boot choke in the corner, Snake Eyes, and the JACKNIFE ends Moraldo at 3:12.

Another New Yawk putz thinks he sees the Undertaker.

Time for the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler. After telling a long joke that isn’t true at all about Roddy Piper not being accepted into the US army despite being drafted due to a Klinger Complex, he introduces Ted DiBiase and Nikolai Volkoff. Because Nikolai has no more money, he is forced to work for DiBiase to pay his bills and feed his family. DiBiase decides to change Nikolai’s look by making him wear some black and gold “Property of the Million Dollar Man” tights. They even cent signs on the sides. Pretty SWANK tights if you ask me. He even makes Volkoff take off his bright red Members Only jacket and replaces that with a tuxedo t-shirt that also says “Property of the Million Dollar Man”. Vince – “The height of humiliation.” I’m always down for some hyperbolic alliteration. That’s actually an improvement though. With the Russian and US flags on it, that jacket was hideous. When your patriotism affects your clothing style, you need to take a step back.

  • Owen Hart vs. Tony Roy

Owen is just so awesome right here. As he comes to the ring, he won’t stop yelling that he’s the best. Okay, I am *positive* that Tony Roy isn’t Mike Terrace or Mike Moraldo. Owen tears him apart anyway and slaps the SHARPSHOOTER with his hand raised at 2:19. Afterwards, Owen knocks him out with a spinning heel kick and puts the Bret Hart shades on Tony to send a message to Bret.

Duke “the Dumpster” Droese is coming soon to a WWF ring near you! Until then, he’s apparently sleeping in a trash compactor.

  • Earthquake vs. Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji & Jim Cornette) – Sumo Wrestling Match

Remember how much Akebono/Big Show sucked? Yeah. This is another “attraction” match that no one really cares to see. They have taken down the ring ropes and left up the ringposts because obviously you can’t have the ropes up in a match when its sole purpose is to knock the other guy out of the ring. Anyways, Earthquake wins in about five minutes. This was supposed to lead to a summertime feud because NOBODY beats Yokozuna in a sumo match, but it went nowhere as Earthquake was injured at a house show by Yokozuna, virtually ending Earthquake’s WWF run. That’s what happens when you put two fatties together, I suppose.

Next Week: It’s announced that Earthquake returns to battle Owen Hart in another KOTR qualifier, but as we mentioned, Quake get hurt, and Doink the Clown becomes his replacement.

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Posted on July 31, 2013, in WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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