WWE: Monday Night Raw (07.22.96)

mondaynightraw

Monday Night Raw
July 22, 1996
Seattle, WA
Key Arena

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Shawn Michaels (3/31/96)
Intercontinental Champion: Ahmed Johnson (6/23/96)
World Tag Team Champions: The Smoking Gunns (5/26/96)

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.

  • WWF World Tag Team Champions The Smoking Gunns (w/Sunny) vs. Ahmed Johnson & Shawn Michaels (w/Jose Lothario)

It’s Shawn’s birthday, so Sunny has a big cake for him. After Shawn and Ahmed clean house, Sunny gets CAKED! Somewhere I’m sure Jim Cornette is laughing. When we come back, WWF President Gorilla Monsoon moves the match back for later in the show so that Billy Gunn can recover from getting knocked silly from Sweet Chin Music. Bait, and switch.

  • Marc Mero (w/Sable) vs. The Goon

A couple more Raw debuts tonight on the program. The Goon is “Wild” Bill Irwin to WCW fans. Steve Austin joins us for commentary and Jake “the Snake” Roberts joins us via telephone. He missed the PPV last night due to some rib problems. Lawler and Austin make booze jokes directed at Jake. Goon controls with his boring offense. He trips into the steps over the mess made by the cake fiasco. Mero wipes him out with a somersault plancha and finishes him off with a slingshot legdrop. (7:15) This was a case where the commentators were more entertaining than the match itself. ½*

In the back, Shawn Michaels speaks for Ahmed and himself saying they are looking forward to gaining WWF tag team gold.

Up in the stands, Bob Backlund is still campaigning for POTUS.

Earlier today: Clarence Mason represents somebody trying to get into the WWF. *Hint* He’s an ex-con!

  • Mankind vs. Freddie Joe Floyd

Our other Raw debut comes to us in the form of Freddie Joe Floyd played by Tracy Smothers to be a JTTS. His name is a rib on the Brisco brothers. Freddie Joe is Jack’s real first and middle names, while Floyd is Gerald’s real first name. During Mankind’s entrance, we get some EXCITING STILL SHOTS of the Undertaker/Goldust match from last night. Floyd delivers a few punches, a dropkick or two, and a flying back elbow! Oklahoma roll gets two. He gets crotched up top and the MANDIBLE CLAW puts him away at 3:52.

  • Goldust (w/Marlena) vs. Barry Horowitz

Brian Pillman joins us for commentary. He calls Goldust a genius for trying to build his own harem with Marlena and Sable and hopes to be a “talent scout” for him. He discusses three-ways and all sorts of things that have never been discussed in wrestling before. He’s a loose cannon, folks! Marc Mero sends Goldust threats from the locker room on the split-screen. No upset coming here. Goldust ends Horowitz with the CURTAIN CALL for 2:19.

Backstage, Sunny and the Smoking Gunns scold Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson for not conducting themselves like real champions for what they did earlier to Sunny and how they’re going to pay!

Super Size Stridex presents the “Biggest Slam of the Week”. From last night, Cornette holds Michaels’ ankle while Vader gives him an avalanche. Vader Bomb scores the pinfall.

Vince McMahon meets with Vader and Jim Cornette in this very ring. Cornette tells us that since Vader pinned Shawn Michaels last night, Gorilla Monsoon has awarded Vader with a WWF title shot against HBK at SummerSlam. Cornette makes the analogy of Vader being the schoolyard bully who’s all grown up.

  • WWF World Tag Team Champions The Smoking Gunns (w/Sunny) vs. Ahmed Johnson & Shawn Michaels (w/Jose Lothario)

And now the match. This is the last time you’ll see Ahmed Johnson wearing the IC title, in case anybody cares. Just like before, the challengers clean house on the Gunns. Back in, Ahmed starts jerking on Billy’s arm. That can’t be good. Commercials! We come back to see Billy slam his way out of an armbar. Tag to Bart, he hotshots Ahmed to slow him down. Billy tags in and gets caught with a powerslam. Back over to Shawn, a flying double sledge gets two. Shawn hits an ’80s style headscissors, but tries a second one and gets caught and dropped throat-first on the ropes. Classic HBK. The Gunns work Shawn over, culminating with a Ray Stevens corner bump to the floor. False tag spot occurs and we need to take another commercial break. We’re back, and the Gunns are giving Shawn Poetry in Motion! Shawn fights out of a Billy Gunn chinlock and then fights off a double-team backdrop with a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Oh my. HOT TAG TO AHMED! He’s got Spinebusters for everybody. That is until Bart pulls the rope down on him and he goes flying to the floor. That’s FAAROOQ’s cue to make his WWF debut and beat the ever living crap out of Ahmed until security separates the two. (11:10 shown) The man is wearing a silly crooked gladiator helmet with blue and black tights. If it weren’t for his 280 pound build, people would be laughing at him right now. Fun little formula tag and a debut that made a big impact as Ahmed’s beating took him out of action for a while. They sold his kidney problems like they all started thanks to Faarooq, but in reality he really did have serious kidney problems that he needed to take care of. ***

NEXT WEEK: The Undertaker gets a return match with Steve Austin! Marc Mero meets VADER. Finally, a match with possibilities on Raw for Mero.

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Posted on August 21, 2013, in WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The funny thing is the announcers do indentify Faarooq as Ron Simmons before he gets his official name. Just thought I’d point that oud.

  2. Yeah, Lawler says, “He looks like Ron Simmons.” He doesn’t say it twice though and Vince doesn’t chime in, which makes me think he didn’t want his name we knew from WCW mentioned.

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