WWF: Monday Night Raw
December 13, 1993
Poughkeepsie, NY
Mid-Hudson Civic Center

The current WWF champs are as follows:
World Champion: Yokozuna (6/11/1993)
Intercontinental Champion: Razor Ramon (9/27/1993)
World Tag Team Champions: The Quebecers (9/13/1993)

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jim Cornette.

• Randy Savage vs. Fatu (w/Afa)
  

Cornette does all he can to paint Savage as a homicidal maniac who should be banned from wrestling. Fatu peppers Savage with superkicks and headbutts to start. Savage even gets bounced off the steps. When Savage tries to return the favor, Fatu NO-SELLS and runs Savage into the ringpost. Back in, Savage attempts a comeback only to take a backdrop to the floor. Afa gets a shot in on the Macho Man. Back in the ring again, Fatu nails Savage with some wooden object Afa is always carrying around. That only gets two. Fatu delivers a backbreaker and heads up top for the end, but Savage crotches him and knocks him to the floor for the Flying Double Sledge to Fatu. Back in again, Savage lands the MACHO ELBOW for the win. (5:52) This is pretty much the formula for every Savage match for the next three years. *½

Over to Todd Pettengill, he tries to get me to call the WWF Hotline to get Randy Savage reinstated as his co-host for WWF Mania. Because Todd is such an annoying little putz, I’ll save my coinage on this one.

Lex Luger says there is no room for drugs. Just say no!

• The Smoking Gunns vs. Jim Massenger & Steve Smyth
  

Cornette reminds Vince that Lex Luger can’t be in the Royal Rumble because the winner gets a WWF title shot at WrestleMania. Since Yokozuna will still be the WWF champ and Luger can’t get another shot at Yoko as long as he’s the champ, then there’s no point in Luger being in the Royal Rumble. Corny says he’s going to make sure Luger isn’t in the Rumble tomorrow in a meeting with Jack Tunney. Captain Lou Albano comes out to scout the Smoking Gunns. DDT from Bart sets up a Flying Bulldog by Billy on Massenger at 2:50.

Let Us Take You Back to Last Week on Raw: Shawn Michaels gives the 1-2-3 Kid not one but TWO Razor’s Edges. When he went for a third, Razor Ramon comes out and saves his little buddy. From there, Shawn slaps Razor to cause him to give chase after him only for Diesel to punch Razor through the curtain. WHAM. With their plan executed, Shawn gives Razor a couple Razor’s Edges on concrete!

• Irwin R. Schyster vs. Todd Mata
  

The cameraman sneaks a peek in Irwin’s briefcase to see Razor’s gold chain. Quick win for IRS. He puts away Mata with a back suplex at 1:47. As he picks up his Haliburton again, the chain starts to fall out. Whoops.

WWF: Unbelievable! Have you ever heard of Yoko Claus? Yep, Yokozuna dreams he was giving children presents in Central Park. As soon as he wakes up in a cold sweat, Mr. Fuji is RIGHT THERE to tell him it was all just a dream. Was Fuji watching him sleep? Weird.

• The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. JS Storm
  

McMahon tries to make trouble for Cornette pointing out that he signed Yokozuna to a casket match for the Royal Rumble with the Undertaker. Corny says there was a contract signed for a match, but not a CASKET match. Chokeslam and TOMBSTONE ends Storm at 2:10. Afterwards, Storm is carried out in a body bag just like in the good old days.

We get a montage of the Jeff Jarrett vignettes. He debuts next week!

• Rick Martel vs. Tim McNeany
  

McNeany tries to get a quick win over Martel, but can’t quite get the three-count. QUEBEC CRAB gets the submission for Martel at 3:00.

Let Us Take You Back to Superstars, 12/11/93. Owen Hart challenges his brother Bret to a match. Brother against brother? Oh the humanity!

• Bret Hart vs. The Brooklyn Brawler
  

This is Bret’s first match on Raw since July 26! After Brawler escapes an armbar, he starts scratching and clawing on Bret. When Bret slams him off the top, he runs through his FIVE MOVES OF DOOM and puts away Brawler with the SHARPSHOOTER at 4:20, man.

NEXT WEEK: Tatanka battles Ludvig Borga! In action, we’ll see Men on a Mission, Owen Hart, and the debut of Jeff Jarrett.