Lucha Underground
March 23, 2016
Los Angeles, CA
The Temple

The current Lucha Underground champs are as follows:
Lucha Underground Champion: Fenix (3/16/16)
Lucha Underground Gift of the Gods Champion: Vacant (3/16/16)
Lucha Underground Trios Champions: Son of Havoc, Ivelisse & Angelico (3/16/16)

In case you missed it last week, here are some highlights:

NOW ONTO THIS WEEK:

Backstage, Pentagon Jr. runs into Fenix and tells him the Lucha Underground title is coming to him because CERO MIEDO. Next thing we know, Catrina appears and tells Pentagon Jr. that his master may be teaching him about the dark arts, but he knows nothing about the darkness. She holds up the stone and it flickers. Since Aztec Warfare is invitation only, Catrina wonders why Pentagon Jr. is even here tonight. He never received an invitation because he put his hands on Catrina. Pentagon says he doesn’t answer to Catrina – only to his master. CERO MIEDO. The only reason Pentagon Jr. has zero fear is because he doesn’t know true fear, says Catrina. As for Fenix, she tells him Mil Muertes will take his last breath tonight and the title will return to its rightful place with Mil Muertes. POOF – she’s gone. Fenix and Pentagon Jr. circle each other and they walk away.

Your hosts are Matt Striker and Vampiro.

We have Aztec dancers! So fancy!

• Aztec Warfare II
  

Here are the rules: every 90 seconds, a new “fighter” enters the match until all twenty “fighters” have had their chance to win. Pinfall or submission are the only ways to eliminate your opponents.

Instead of becoming the #1 contender to the Lucha Underground championship by winning this match as was the case last year, Catrina has really stacked the deck here to try and quickly end Fenix’s reign as champion by putting the title on the line. Fenix will be #1 and Catrina’s man Mil Muertes will be #20. SNAP. SUCH DRAMA.

Famous B is sitting at ringside with an incredibly attractive lady because now he’s famous.

Matt Striker informs Vampiro that his protégé Pentagon Jr. will not be in this match. He seems mad about it for like a second, but almost immediately accepts the news. Does he know something we don’t? LET’S FIND OUT.

As we mentioned earlier, Fenix enters at #1. Famous B feels Fenix is his guy. Entering in at #2, it’s REY MYSTERIO. He comes out wearing the Lucha Underground colors: black, white, and red. Lots of respect shown to the legend. Fenix almost shows too much respect to Mysterio and gets caught early with a satellite headscissors. That all goes out the window as Fenix stops a 619 with a superkick. He then does a handspring Japanese armdrag on Rey for only a one-count. After they duck each other’s strikes, Mysterio takes Fenix over with an armdrag of his own. Out comes #3 and it’s King Cuerno. He definitely has something to prove against both these guys. He handles Rey pretty well and dumps out Fenix for the tope suicida. Mysterio kicks Cuerno off the apron and does a sliding splash on him. Argenis returns to the Temple at #4. He’s got a springboard headscissors for Fenix and superkicks a shot at a springboard move as well. He kicks Rey in the butt and superkicks him down for two. Mysterio hits his first 619 on Argenis and delivers the FROG SPLASH for our first elimination. As Fenix does a springboard tornillo on Cuerno, Johnny Mundo comes out at #5. Commercials!

When we come back, Mundo enters Aztec Warfare. He and Rey share some time in the ring. Mundo takes Rey from corner to corner. When Mysterio gets flipped out to the apron, Fenix uses Mundo’s foot to kick Rey down to the floor. Helluva Kick on Mundo, but then Mundo lands a Solo Spanish Fly on Fenix for two. Cuerno is shown just standing on top of Rey. Next up, #6 is Joey Ryan. He handcuffs himself to the barricade so no one can pin him. Famous B thinks Joey is the smartest man in pro wrestling. After Cuerno comes over and superkicks Joey, Famous B hands him one of his business cards. His number is 423-GET-FAME. Has anybody reading my recaps tried calling it? The first Lucha Underground champion Prince Puma enters Aztec Warfare at #7. He immediately runs through Mundo, Fenix, and Cuerno. When all three are on the floor, Puma busts out the springboard SSP on them. #8 is Jack Evans. Meanwhile, King Cuerno gets tapped out by Rey Mysterio with a cross armbreaker of all things. Evans tries to make a splash on everybody with a springboard body press, but everybody gets out of his way in time. All the tecnicos are putting the boots to Evans and Mundo tries to chime in. When they notice Mundo is trying to be one of them, Fenix and Puma kick him out to the floor. Rey splashes Evans off Fenix’s shoulders. Striker makes the Jimmy Snuka and Andre the Giant reference. Mundo pulls out Evans and tries to form an alliance. That’s when Taya comes out at #9 looking to even the odds for the rudos. We get a staredown between the six not handcuffed to the barricade. Evans sends out Puma, Mundo lands the Flying Chuck on Rey, and Taya stomps Fenix out of the ring. It looks like Rey is about to be triple-teamed when CAGE enters the match at #10. He Goldbergs his way through these three rudos. Mundo ducks out when we take another commercial break.

AND WE’RE BACK. Cage is still annihilating everyone. It takes a superkick and a Flying Chuck off the apron from Mundo to finally slow him down. Mundo doesn’t want to just slow him down though, he THROWS Cage through the office window. I like the spot and all, but there was no time to let it sink in and mean anything as we go right to the next entrant. It’s Mascarita Sagrada at #11. Sagrada headscissors Fenix, but tope suicidas into the arms of Mundo. Cage gets out of the window and his forehead is bleeding. He gives Mundo a discus lariat. WEAPON X on the floor! He then sends Mundo into the ring and Puma gives him a standing SSP for the elimination. Cage is still roughing up poor Taya as she takes a back suplex on the apron. Geez! #12 is Marty the Moth. Striker says the fans have nicknamed him “The Creepy Bastard”. Marty gets some time to shine. Evans gives him a try, but takes an Ocean Cyclone Suplex for his troubles. He pulls on Jack’s face only to be dumped out to the floor. Drago enters the match at #13 and you gotta believe he’s coming for Jack Evans. Commercials!

When we come back, Drago kicks around Evans on the floor and sprays some mist, but misses Evans and nails Joey Ryan in the face. The best laid plans, I tell ya. Meanwhile, Sagrada lands a spinning DDT on Marty the Moth setting up a flying splash by Mysterio for our next elimination. The Mack enters Aztec Warfare at #14. He drops a STONE COLD STUNNER on Marty the Moth. Mack meets Cage in the middle of the ring to reignite their rivalry. STONE COLD STUNNER to Cage! Meanwhile, Fenix is throwing Mascarita Sagrada into Joey! HAHA. Chavo Guerrero comes out at #15. Drago and Jack Evans are fighting in the crowd. He gives Jack a powerbomb on the steps. Ouch. Chavo bullies Sagrada in the ring and taps him out with a camel clutch. Taya interrupts the 619 on Cage so that her man Mundo can come out and bust a cinder block over his head. It’s the only way to beat him. Taya jumps on Cage for the easy pinfall. Fenix delivers a NICE bridging German suplex on Taya to eliminate her. #16 is “THE DAREWOLF” PJ Black. He goes into the crowd first to save his buddy Jack and gives Drago a snap suplex on the steps. Drago fights them off as they head back down to ringside. Here comes #17. It’s Aerostar marking his return to the Temple. While PJ Black blocks a tilt-a-whirl move by Drago and brings him over with a suplex, Aerostar is giving Jack Evans a SUPER CANADIAN DESTROYER. We got two pinfalls meaning both Drago and Evans are eliminated. #18 is the Temple debut of Dragon Azteca Jr. He does a heavily choreographed segment with PJ Black and Aerostar. Azteca Jr. delivers a NICE somersault plancha wiping out the Mack. At #19, we have Texano. Commercials!

When we return, Texano does a somersault plancha on just about everybody but Joey Ryan. PJ Black takes him on, but receives a Sitout Powerbomb for his effort and gets eliminated. Next up, #20 is no doubt Mil Muertes led by Catrina. Before they even get down the steps, Pentagon Jr. comes in through the crowd and repeatedly jabs Mil Muertes with a chair! He kicks Mil in the head and tosses him inside the ring. Mysterio hits Muertes with the Flying Splash! Puma dogpiles them both to eliminate Muertes! Hmm, probably should have been Fenix instead. Catrina blames Vampiro for this and slaps him across the face. Pretty sure she just dropped an “F” bomb. He doesn’t lay a finger on her. The clock is still going, but there’s nobody left to come out for Aztec Warfare. Striker blames technical difficulties when DARIO CUETO shows up. He is taking back control of his Temple and announces one more entrant for Aztec Warfare. His brother — THE MONSTER MATANZA CUETO. He’s like Michael Myers meets Abyss with a little bit of the Shockmaster in there somewhere. But boy, he can do some moves. The crowd thinks this is awesome. They do the bit where everybody gangs up on Matanza and they all get thrown away. He gives Fenix an awesome powerslam that sends Fenix back to the showers. We are now GUARANTEED to have a new champion tonight. Matanza NO-SELLS a STONE COLD STUNNER from the Mack and bridging German suplexes Mack on his neck all wrong for our next elimination. Aerostar tries his springboard back bump and gets swatted down. Another bridging German suplex takes care of Aerostar. Texano chokes Matanza with the bull rope, but gets flipped over. The Rough Ryder from Texano gets countered into a sitout powerbomb (irony!) for the three-count. That’s four in a row. Matanza rips on the barricade and frees Joey Ryan. He gives Joey a series of gutwrench suplexes – because he can. Goodbye, Joey. When the tecnicos try to devise a plan, Chavo kicks away Puma, throws Dragon Azteca into Matanza, and sends Mysterio into the barricade. As hard as Dragon Azteca tries, he can’t handle Matanza. He goes down to a NASTY Uranage-style CHOKESLAM.

Final Four: Rey Mysterio, Prince Puma, Chavo Guerrero, and Matanza. Chavo tries to strike a deal with Dario Cueto. When he thinks this is going to happen, Matanza clotheslines him down and gives Chavo a STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS. WHAT. That sends out Chavo. Mysterio and Puma work together with kicks, but never take Matanza off his feet. When Puma launches Rey into Matanza, Rey gets caught and Matanza runs over Puma. Matanza sends out Rey and gives Puma a swinging back suplex. Give him a wrist clutch pumphandle suplex and a bridging German suplex and Puma is done. Now it’s Rey versus Matanza. They circle each other, but Rey has got to be hesitant. Mysterio catches Matanza with a whole bunch of kicks and actually sets him up for 619, but Matanza catches his legs. Rey slips off his shoulders and trips him up this time for the 619. He comes off the top for a flying hurracanrana, but Matanza puts on the brakes and launches Mysterio into the air to catch him for that nasty powerslam. Cover, 1-2-3. (35:38 shown) Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Lucha Underground champion. Dario Cueto rips the microphone away from Melissa Santos and announces his brother as the new champ as they celebrate in the ring to close the show. The best Aztec Warfare since the last one. And wow, what a showcase for Matanza. He eliminated *NINE* people and looked absolutely unstoppable and untouchable. By the way, did anybody else think of the Randy Savage and Yokozuna finish from the ’93 Royal Rumble? ****½

Until next time, so long for now.