WWE: Smackdown (03.24.16)
March 24, 2016
The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (1/24/2016)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kevin Owens (2/15/2016)
WWE United States Champion: Kalisto (1/24/2016)
WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day (8/23/2015)
WWE Divas Champion: Charlotte (9/20/2015)
Your hosts are Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, and Byron Saxton.
- Charlotte (w/Ric Flair) vs. Sasha Banks
Becky Lynch joins us at the commentary table. Charlotte can’t wait to put an end to the Divas revolution at WrestleMania 32 and start the WOO revolution. Charlotte makes the hometown girl Sasha come to her as she baits her around the ring and back inside only to nail her. Sasha comes right back though for some ground and pound. She mocks Flair and does the strut before chopping Charlotte. WOO! To make her pay, Flair trips her up into a big boot. Charlotte delivers a suplex into a neckbreaker. Becky is talking a lot and I’m sure it’s all good stuff, but I’m paying more attention to the match. Charlotte shows us some personality here – strutting and talking trash. Sasha gets a few nearfall with some rollups, but Charlotte fires back with a T-bone suplex. Sasha wins a slugfest and knees Charlotte in the face. Dang. Sort of a strange Lou Thesz Press gets two on Charlotte. She tries the double knee stomp in the corner, but Charlotte escapes at the last second. Sasha then wipes her out with a baseball slide right in front of Becky. She stands up and Charlotte throws Sasha into her. Pissed off, Sasha shoves her back and goes back inside to take a spinebuster from Charlotte. Ranallo says that came from Uncle Arn. HA! Time for the FIGURE-EIGHT, but Sasha counters with an inside cradle for the three-count. (4:55) Funny how old that finish that is and how it still works just fine. Highly entertaining five minutes here. Afterwards, Becky comes in and gives the Lass-Plex to both Sasha and then Charlotte to boos from the audience before walking out. Not to be outdone, Sasha leaves the champ lying with a backstabber. **½
- Sheamus (w/King Barrett & Rusev) vs. Kofi Kingston (w/Xavier Woods & Big E)
WrestleMania is brought to you by Booty-O’s this year. Xavier says if the League of Nations were an event, they would be going to the DMV. Big E feels if the League of Nations were a Star Wars character, they would be Jar Jar Binks. The League of Nations are like the Michael Jordan of baseball in WWE. When Sheamus gets aggressive with Kofi to start, Kingston fights back and shows Sheamus he can get aggressive too. When Sheamus bails out near the New Day, Xavier plays the trombone up and down and up again as Kingston comes off the steps and knocks down Sheamus. Awesome. Sheamus trips up Kingston on the apron to take us into commercial. When we return, Sheamus is still in control pounding Kofi’s chest on the apron. Once Kofi fights up out of a chinlock, Sheamus puts him down with a powerslam. However, Sheamus misses a knee drop off the second rope and misses a corner charge running his shoulder into the post. Kingston mounts his comeback and hits the Boom Drop. As Sheamus rolls out, Kofi explodes on him with a somersault plancha. Back in, a flying body press gets 1-2-NO! Sheamus blocks the SOS and runs Kofi into the corner for a vertical suplex. That gets two. When he can’t untie the top turnbuckle pad, Sheamus turns back around into a spinning heel kick for two. Rusev puts his foot on the bottom rope. While New Days runs Rusev away, King Barrett causes some distraction for Kofi that allows Sheamus to regroup and BROGUE KICK him down for the three-count. (6:58 shown) That was actually another fine match here on Smackdown. Two for two tonight. **½
- The Usos vs. The Ascension
Ascension dominates Jey to start setting up a quick hot tag to Jimmy. Buttalanche to Viktor and a superkick wipes out Konnor. STEREO SUPERKICK to Viktor ends him in no time. (1:38) The Dudley Boyz are watching on the monitors backstage while the Usos pull out tables and splash the Ascension through them. ½*
Renee Young wants to know what is going through the Dudley Boyz minds right now. D-Von says they will be defined by their careers, not tables. Bubba feels that the Usos are great, but they aren’t the Dudley Boyz. The Dudleyz are here to steal the show at WrestleMania. They used to beat up Rikishi and if the Wild Samoans were here today, they would beat them up too. Roman Reigns either was close by or has INCREDIBLE hearing. He walks over and gets up in Bubba Ray’s face about that last comment. He plans to shut up Bubba’s mouth tonight. He doesn’t want a match, he wants a fight. Bubba’s mouth is left wide open as Roman walks off.
They air a video package on Shane McMahon putting him over and showing us a little bit of his training for his match with the Undertaker at WrestleMania 32. He’s learning ju-jitsu!
- Dolph Ziggler & Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens & The Miz
FUN FACT: Our announcers inform us that the last time the IC title was successfully defended at WrestleMania was back at WM X-7 when Chris Jericho defeated William Regal. Zayn and Ziggler take turns owning Miz on the mat to start. Meanwhile, Owens is standing over in the corner talking like he usually does. When Miz finds a break, he tags in Owens. Ziggler stops Owens from talking with a dropkick and tags in Zayn, but Owens hurries back to his corner and tags out wanting nothing to do with him. When Miz tags in Owens, Owens drops down to the floor and grabs his IC title anxious to leave. He and Miz get into an argument until Zayn jumps them both and throws Owens into the ring. Owens cheapshots Zayn, but he manages to make it back to his corner for a tag. In comes Ziggler, he delivers the Stinger Splash and the swinging neckbreaker on Owens. Miz distracts Ziggler long enough for Owens to bury a knee in him. Ziggler stops the Pop Up Powerbomb, but Miz snaps Ziggler’s neck off the top rope into a clothesline by Owens. Running senton gets two. Back to Miz, he boots down Ziggler for two. Ziggler fights out of a chinlock, but Miz catches a superkick and catapults him to the floor. Owens puts the boots to Ziggler as we go to commercial. When we return, Ziggler is still in trouble. Another running senton, but Ziggler brings up the knees. Hot tag to Zayn, he hits a flying body press on Miz for 1-2-NO! Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as well. Ziggler and Owens crash out on the floor. Miz takes an Exploder into the corner to set up the Helluva Kick, but Owens is there to trip up Zayn. Miz comes through the ropes and dropkicks Ziggler away. Zayn reverses the Skull Crushing Finale into a victory roll for 1-2-NO! Oh no, DOUBLE-KO! Kevin Owens tries to walk out on the Miz again, but Sin Cara, Stardust, and Zack Ryder are there to stop him at the pass. Miz brings Owens back into the ring for a superkick by Ziggler. SKULL CRUSHING FINALE to Owens! Now that’s he done, Miz receives a superkick by Ziggler followed by the HELLUVA KICK from Zayn for the win. (10:36 shown) When I saw this was going to be a six-match show, I thought it was going to be lame with each match given no time to develop. But my goodness, this has been a really good show. After the bell, everybody but the Miz hits their finisher with Kevin Owens standing tall in the end – until he takes the Rough Ryder from the full bearded Zack Ryder. ***¼
- Roman Reigns vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Bubba Ray runs his mouth off at the Boston crowd causing Roman to go out and beat him into the ring. All we get is a bunch of brawling from these two. I mean, Roman did say he wanted a fight. There’s a Superman Punch. Roman takes Bubba over to the announce table and bounces his face off the announce table until the ref counts them both out. (2:10) After Roman sends Bubba into the steps, D-Von Dudley runs out and eats a Superman Punch as well. Roman picks up half the steps and hits D-Von. In the ring, Roman hits Bubba Ray with the SPEAR – completely destroying the Dudley Boyz. ¾*
In the back, we check in with Goldust and R-Truth. Goldust is busy painting his face when Truth comes over trying to court him. Hilarity ensues. Goldust paints a yellow “NO” on Truth’s forehead, but Truth reads it as “ON” in the mirror thinking that’s a good sign. I assume something will happen with these two at WrestleMania 32 – in the ARMBaR, perhaps?
Kalisto and Sin Cara talk about the pipe dream of both of them being champions after WrestleMania 32. Ryback walks by and makes fun of Kalisto’s size. He deserves the spotlight Kalisto is currently enjoying and should be the U.S. champ. Kalisto seems pretty confident he’ll beat the big guy.
- AJ Styles vs. Tyler Breeze
Quick little showcase as Tyler Breeze is already at JTTS status. Styles hits the Springboard Forearm Smash for the win in 2:04.
Paul Heyman comes out with Brock Lesnar to talk. “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and this is your main event of the evening. I have the right to say that for I am the advocate for the Beast of WrestleMania: BROCK LESNAR. The very same Brock Lesnar that can guarantee you every single year the WrestleMania Moment. The very same Brock Lesnar that gave you the greatest WrestleMania Moment of all time when he conquered the fabled streak. The very same Brock Lesnar that a week and a half from now will step into the ring knowingly and willingly against a certified lunatic named Dean Ambrose in a no holds barred street fight. Let’s talk about a no holds barred street fight for a second. What is a no holds barred street fight? A no holds barred street fight means that anything that Dean Ambrose can get his hands on he can use with malicious intent and malice forethought against Brock Lesnar. If Dean Ambrose can get his hands on a chair, he may use it against Brock Lesnar. If Dean Ambrose can get his hands on a crowbar, he may use it against Brock Lesnar. If Dean Ambrose can get his hands on a kendo stick, he may use it against Brock Lesnar – and it’s all perfectly legal. And now we have these no holds barred legends like Terry Funk and Mick Foley. They are giving Dean Ambrose things to get his hands on against Brock Lesnar. A barbed wire baseball bat, a chainsaw for crying out loud. You know I’m shooting from the hip; the only reason Terry Funk and Mick Foley are still alive today is because God refuses to answer my prayers on a daily basis, but I’m not the one who should be praying about this match at WrestleMania. Terry Funk and Mick Foley and the members of the asylum should be praying for Dean Ambrose’s well-being because anything that Dean Ambrose can get his hands on, Brock Lesnar can get his hands on too. And worse for Dean Ambrose, Brock Lesnar can get his hands on Dean Ambrose. And when my client wraps his massive arms around Dean Ambrose’s torso, clasps his fingers, pivots his hips, and takes Dean Ambrose to Suplex City, and finally ends that torture with an F-5. Then, at that moment, the WWE Universe will finally realize that the most dangerous weapon ever implemented in a WWE match is Brock Lesnar himself. Well, I finished that one a little bit early. I’m sure Boston is through hearing me flap my gums. My client is a little bit itchy, so Dean Ambrose – get your tuckus out to this ring right now. Brock Lesnar wants a fight – right here – right now – TONIGHT!”
The lights go out and the Wyatt family music starts playing. Bray Wyatt, Braun Strowman, and Erick Rowan appear at ringside. When they surround Brock Lesnar, Dean Ambrose’s music plays. Ambrose attacks Bray with a kendo stick while Lesnar is taking Rowan and Strowman to Suplex City. Once he’s done, Ambrose jumps in the ring and starts whipping Brock with the stick. Lesnar drills him with a clothesline, hits Ambrose with the kendo stick, and then breaks it over his knee. F-5 to Ambrose! Lesnar and Heyman giggle about what just went down in the aisle as we close the show.
Heck of a fun show tonight. Until next time, so long for now.
Posted on March 24, 2016, in WWE and tagged AJ Styles, Ascension, Becky Lynch, Big E, Braun Strowman, Bray Wyatt, Brock Lesnar, Bubba Ray Dudley, Charlotte, D-Von Dudley, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Dudley Boyz, Erick Rowan, Goldust, Kalisto, Kevin Owens, Kofi Kingston, League of Nations, New Day, Paul Heyman, R-Truth, Ric Flair, Roman Reigns, Rusev, Ryback, Sami Zayn, Sasha Banks, Sheamus, Sin Cara, Smackdown, Stardust, The Miz, The Usos, Tyler Breeze, Wade Barrett, Wyatt Family, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.