WWE: Smackdown (05.12.16)


WWE: Smackdown
May 12, 2016
Des Moines, IA
Iowa Events Center

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Roman Reigns (4/3/2016)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz (4/4/2016)
WWE United States Champion: Kalisto (1/24/2016)
WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day (8/23/2015)
WWE Women’s Champion: Charlotte (4/3/2016)

Your hosts are Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, and Jerry Lawler.

Dean Ambrose starts the show. I don’t know why I thought he was taking a break. Anywho, he tore up Chris Jericho’s stupid looking $15000 Christmas tree jacket last Monday on RAW. Ambrose is still pissed about taking Mitch the potted plant to the back of his head. More cheap jabs thrown at Jericho. Ambrose says he’s going to destroy Jericho’s ego next. When Ambrose is done with Jericho, he will start questioning everything about himself. Chris Jericho’s music interrupts and the lights go out. When the lights come back on, Jericho is standing over Ambrose as he’s face down on the mat. With Ambrose out, Jericho easily puts him in a strait jacket. YOU WANNA BE CRAZY? LET’S GET CRAZY. Jericho punches and kicks at Ambrose since he’s completely unable to defend himself. Ambrose tries fighting back when he gets to his feet, but Jericho drops him with a CODEBREAKER. Some refs finally come out and separate the two. Jericho stands on the top of the announce table to a chorus of boos. He tells Des Moines to drink in the gift that is Chris Jericho. Haha. Well, that was epic.

  • Rusev (w/Lana) vs. Sin Cara

Word on the street is Melissa Santos from Lucha Underground could be the Lana to Alberto Del Rio at some point. This is a rematch from RAW when Sin Cara got a cheap distraction win over Rusev. Kalisto sits on commentary for us. When Lawler makes a joke at his expense, Kalisto mentions Lawler lost to Michael Cole at WrestleMania that one time. Dang, SPITTING FIRE. When Sin Cara gets a nearfall on Rusev, Lana throws water in Kalisto’s face to I assume distract Sin Cara. Kalisto starts to go after Lana and gets kicked in the back of the head by Rusev. Back inside, Rusev puts away Sin Cara with the ACCOLADE. (3:08) Afterwards, Rusev mocks Kalisto and holds up the US title to show all the people what’s to come. ¾*

In the back, Renee Young speaks with the now much hotter Emma. Renee wants to know about Dana Brooke and the sneak attack on Becky Lynch this past Monday on RAW. Because she seems to like to sneak around, Dana Brooke appears behind Renee to let her know who she is. She’s beautiful, defiant, and a bodybuilding champion. Dana and Emma hate Becky Lynch because Emma was the original star from NXT, not Becky. After her Smackdown debut match tonight against Becky Lynch, people won’t be asking who Dana is and will be wondering whatever the heck happened to Becky. PLAYTIME IS OVER, says Dana.

  • Becky Lynch vs. Dana Brooke (w/Emma)

Am I the only one who finds high energy entrances corny? Here’s two good examples. Dana and Emma coming out to me was way cooler than Becky’s silly entrance. It’s way too much pomp and circumstance for my liking. Dana grounds and pounds the midsection of Becky, but of course there’s a comeback. Becky gets shoved down onto the bottom rope allowing Emma to thumb her in her injured eye. As Becky staggers around, Dana trips her up for the jackknife rollup to get the three-count. (2:48) Emma and Dana call Becky a loser and mock her eye injury on the aisle. Haha. *

Backstage, we catch up with AJ Styles, Luke Gallows, and Karl Anderson. Styles tells them to take care of “club business”. If Roman Reigns comes out during their match tonight with the Usos, he’ll be there.

  • Kofi Kingston (w/Big E & Xavier Woods) vs. Aiden English (w/Simon Gotch)

New Day claims the Vaudevillians “Kayne-Wested” them on RAW because the situation they had going on with the Dudley Boyz had nothing to do with them. That seems like an old reference, right? The Vaudevillians interrupt to tell New Day that the “sun will soon set on this new day, and the night will belong to the Vaudevillians.” Boots down, dukes up, BOYS. May the best MAN win. Onto the match, Kofi BUM RUSHES THE SHOW on English here, but gets posted on the floor. After some basic heel offense in the ring, Kofi avoids a corner charge and gets a nearfall off a flying body press. Kingston hits the Boom Drop and doubles English over for a splash to the back for 1-2-NO! Simon Gotch tries to enter the ring and gets pulled out by Big E and Woods, so the ref sends all three of them to the locker room. Meanwhile, Kingston and English trade rollups. English however grabs the middle rope for leverage and picks up the cheap win. (3:50) WHAT WILL HAPPEN ONE WEEK FROM SUNDAY AT EXTREME RULES?! *

Elsewhere, we get the same conversation between the Usos and Roman Reigns we heard from the Bullet Club earlier.

  • The Usos vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

After some shine time for the Usos, Jimmy becomes face in peril for a bit. Ranallo does a nice job putting over how successful Gallows and Anderson have been in Japan. Jey gets the hot tag and dumps out Gallows. Anderson avoids a Samoan drop and shoves Jey out to the floor to be booted down by Gallows. Commercials! When we come back, Gallows and Anderson control Jey with chinlocks. Jey gets close to a tag, but Anderson throws Jey down and knocks Jimmy off the apron. Gallows hits a Bossman uppercut on Jey for a nearfall. Jey avoids a corner charge and superkicks Gallows down. HOT TAG TO JIMMY! Samoan Drop to Anderson. The Buttalanche misses, but the superkick does not. SAMOAN SPLASH! Cover, 1-2-NO! Gallows yanks out Jimmy and clobbers him. If that’s not bad enough, he throws Jimmy over the announce table! Ref calls for the DQ on that note. (8:10 shown) As retribution, Jey knocks down Gallows with a plancha. Anderson makes things worse for Jey as he throws him into the steps. ROCKET KICK adds the exclamation point on Jey’s face. Jimmy jumps on Anderson from the announce table, but then takes a chair to the back by Gallows. Perhaps they rang the bell a little too early. As Jey crawls towards his brother, Anderson drills him with a chairshot across the back. Gallows and Anderson mean SERIOUS BUSINESS. **½

Life Lessons with Coach Backlund: There’s a huge misunderstanding over what a smart phone is. It’s not even an older generation thing, it’s more like a Bob Backlund thing. I like it. Make Darren Young Great Again (or just for the first time IMO).

  • Tyler Breeze & R-Truth vs. Fandango & Goldust

Ranallo calls this a “much anticipated matchup”, but I would disagree. That’s all I have to say about that. I’m not sure Des Moines Iowa is the best place to have these type of “pretty boys” in the ring facing each other. But who knows, this world is very strange. Fandango and Breeze force an R-Truth/Goldust confrontation, but they won’t strike one another. Breeze tags out while Goldust’s back is turned and shoves R-Truth out of the ring. Fandango saves Goldust from being jacked from behind by Breeze and then turns on Goldust. Breeze jumps on Goldust for the three-count at 1:40. IT WAS ALL A SETUP. They put the boots to Goldust and then put the boots to R-Truth until Goldust jumps on R-Truth to help his buddy out. Fandango and Breeze then just continue stomping Goldust. WOO! No rating.

In the back, Renee Young speaks with WWE Women’s champ Charlotte and her daddy Ric Flair. She wants to know how Charlotte felt about the difficult time she had on RAW when her father was escorted out of the building. A difficult time for Charlotte is when her driver is five minutes late. What happened on RAW was a TRAVESTY. When Renee wonders if the loss to Paige is a sign of things to come at Extreme Rules when Ric will be banned from ringside, Flair interjects and says he has taught her everything he knows. WOO! We get the feeling Charlotte doesn’t seem quite as confident.

  • Cesaro & Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens & The Miz (w/Maryse)

Cesaro makes Miz look like a chump and tries to go for the CESARO SWING until Miz reaches the ropes. Next we get Owens and Zayn. Owens seems reluctant and Zayn tears into him. Owens catches Zayn with a nasty back elbow and tags out to the Miz. Miz ducks out causing Owens to argue with him over being a terrible tag partner. While they are distracted, Cesaro and Zayn deliver STEREO DIVES on those guys. Commercials! When we return, Zayn sends Miz to the floor. Zayn gets yelled at by Maryse and blindsided by Owens. After some more ringside violence, Miz brings Zayn into the ring for a nearfall. Big boot and running senton by Miz and Owens respectively gets two. Moving on, Zayn tries to come out of a chinlock, but Miz delivers the backbreaker-neckbreaker combo for two. Nasty clothesline by Zayn. He nearly reaches Cesaro. When Miz grabs him, Zayn spins him around for the Blue Thunder Bomb. HOT TAG TO CESARO! European Uppercut Party! Flying body press to Owens gets 1-2-NO! Miz stops Cesaro from trying the CESARO SWING on Owens with the SKULL CRUSHING FINALE, but Cesaro elbows out. While in the corner, Miz ducks the HELLUVA KICK by Zayn and Cesaro gets drilled. Miz pulls out Zayn while Owens hits a Frog Splash to Cesaro for the win. (9:15 shown) After the bell, Owens gives Zayn the POP-UP POWERBOMB to send a message. Miz however comes up behind Owens and drops him with the SKULL CRUSHING FINALE to stand tall over his top three contenders to close out the program. ***

Until next time, so long for now!

Posted on May 13, 2016, in WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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