Ultima Lucha Dos: Night One (07.06.16)


Ultima Lucha Dos: Night One
July 6, 2016

Los Angeles, CA
The Temple

The current Lucha Underground champs are as follows:
Lucha Underground Champion: Matanza (3/23/16)
Lucha Underground Gift of the Gods Champion: Vacant (6/1/16)
Lucha Underground Trios Champions: Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans & PJ Black (5/25/16)

Your hosts are Matt Striker and Vampiro.

  • Dario Cueto’s “4 A Unique Opportunity” Tournament Semifinals – Falls Count Anywhere: Cage vs. The Mack

While this was booked as a standard match, Dario Cueto comes out wearing his finest tuxedo and makes this more interesting with a falls count anywhere match so they can top their match from last year’s Ultima Lucha. With nothing on the line but pride last year, they now have something even bigger to fight for here. Well this year they do start in the ring. Cage dropkicks Mack in the face, gives him a swinging neckbreaker, and a Lionsault gets two. Mack fires back with an exploder suplex and crossbody blocks Cage through the ropes to the floor. Mack charges Cage and takes a hiptoss into the stands. Ouch. Cage brings over a trash can, but Mack hits him with the lid and Bulldog powerslams him on the can. They fight through Dario’s office. He’s just smiling like a goof. We see the Black Lotus is there with him, but she looks super concerned. Cage takes a framed LU poster and shatters it over Mack’s head. GLASS IS EVERYWHERE. That gets two. Cage sets up a little scaffold with chairs and powerbombs Mack on the chairs. Another ouch moment to the back. Now Cage pulls out a stop sign from under the ring, but Mack gives him a Samoan drop on the sign. Standing SSP on Cage gets two. Umm, what about that powerbomb he just took on chairs? Mack finds a guitar and KABONGS Cage. I kinda wish he hadn’t sold that. Mack brings out some piñatas and breaks one of them open to find a giant wrench to whack Cage. There’s also a couple cans of beer. Mack tries the Steveweiser Stunner routine, but Cage shoves him away and nails Mack with the stop sign. While Cage sets up a table, Mack finds a chain and abuses Cage. With Cage hurting bad, Mack lands the Steveweiser Stunner. Now Mack splashes Cage through the table from the stands. He’s slow to cover and only gets two. Cage finds his trusty CINDER BLOCK from under the ring which is reminiscent of last year. He tries to curb stomp Mack, but he slips on the beer and misses allowing Mack to rollup Cage for the win. (10:13) Of course Vamp thinks they topped themselves from last year, but it didn’t feel like they did to me. Some of the things in the match felt out of character for Cage as he sold everything even though he’s not supposed to be man, but a machine. Good effort, I suppose. **½

  • Dario Cueto’s “4 A Unique Opportunity” Tournament Semifinals – Boyle Heights Bar Fight: Son of Havoc vs. Texano

We see there is a bar with lots of glass set up at ringside. Dario Cueto says when he sees a cowboy and a biker together, he thinks of a bar fight. So that is what we will see here. Texano overpowers Havoc to start, but Havoc uses his agility to hit the rebound back elbow bouncing off the ropes. To the floor we go, Havoc lands an Asai Moonsault. He tries a handspring back elbow up against the barricade and misses. They brawl over at the announce table as Havoc busts out a random springboard moonsault to calm Texano down. Havoc throws Texano through a door and throws him right back out. When Havoc comes back out, he’s got a firefighter’s helmet on which triggers a Firebreaker Chip reference from Striker. Havoc shoots Texano in the face with a fire extinguisher. As Texano washes his eyes and turns around to break the bottle from the bar over Havoc’s head, the helmet protects him. If there was vodka in that bottle, wouldn’t that burn his eyes even more? Anyways, Texano sends Havoc back in the ring without the helmet and throws in a few bar stools as well. How about some chairs and a keg too? Vamp says “brother” a bunch so we can get WASTED. Texano wedges the keg in a corner before wrapping his bull rope around his fist and punching down Havoc, but only gets two. Texano gets kicked back into the keg. While Texano is selling, Havoc makes kindling wood out of those cheap bar stools. Havoc sets Texano up in the corner and gives him a HURRACANRANA ONTO THE WOOD! Cover, 1-2-NO! What is that stool made from? Styrofoam? Texano avoids a corner charge and whacks Havoc in the nuts with a chair. They fight to the apron (and an obvious edit job) where Texano takes a backdrop off the apron through the makeshift bar. GLASS IS EVERYWHERE AGAIN! Havoc grabs some wine bottles from under the ring and crushes them in the ring for something very violent. In the ring, Havoc springboard double stomps Texano onto the glass and then bicycle kicks him down on the glass for the three-count to move to the finals. (7:21) If you can suspend your disbelief, this was certainly more violent to me than the last match. And hey, that’s what Dario is all about on Lucha Underground. **½

HIPSTER BAND OF THE WEEK: El Conjunto Nueva Ola.

Matt Striker and Vampiro run down the rest of the card of Ultima Lucha Dos that spans over the next two weeks:

– Death Match: Mil Muertes (w/Catrina) vs. King Cuerno
– LU Trios Titles: PJ Black, Johnny Mundo & Jack Evans (c) vs. Drago, Fenix & Aerostar
– Taya vs. Ivelisse
– Gift of the Gods Elimination Match: Sexy Star vs. Daga vs. El Sinestro de la Muerte vs. Marty the Moth vs. Mariposa vs. Killshot vs. ???
– Black Lotus vs. El Dragon Azteca Jr.
– LU Championship: Matanza (c) vs. Pentagon Jr.
– Dream Match: Prince Puma vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

  • Dario Cueto’s “4 A Unique Opportunity” Tournament Finals – Falls Count Anywhere Match: Son of Havoc vs. The Mack

Dario says he is surprised that it came down to these two guys. His unique opportunity is so awesome that he needs them to go to war for it, so he makes this match also a falls count anywhere. Mack hits the POUNCE-ah early and hits the SPIRAL TAP. Yes, a SPIRAL TAP. That gets two. To the floor we go, Mack takes Havoc around ringside for some barricade violence. Havoc chops back and tosses Mack on the steps. Is Havoc supposed to be selling the Pounce move? Because he didn’t really take any bumps to speak of in his match with Texano to be hurting like that. In the ring, Mack takes over for a bit and gets a nearfall off a Sister Abigail. Havoc fights back and sends out Mack for the SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP. Back in, the SSP hits knees. Mack cradles him up for 1-2-NO! They start striking each other from corner to corner culminating with a handspring back elbow from Havoc to set up the SSP for the win. (5:33) He may have been worn out, but hurt? Nah. The whole match felt a bit anticlimactic as finals often do when you have already seen so much. **

After a break, Dario Cueto and the Black Lotus meet Son of Havoc in the ring with two briefcases. In one briefcase, there is $250 grand. In the other briefcase, there is a contract for a Lucha Underground championship match at Ultima Lucha Tres! It gets real “Let’s Make a Deal” in here. Like a dummy, he takes the contract. Dario then says he will win the contract —- assuming he wins one more match. WHAT. If Havoc’s next opponent wins, he gets the money. If Havoc wins, he gets the contract.

Famous B comes out and introduces his new client: DR. WAGNER JR.

  • Unique Opportunity Match: Dr. Wagner Jr. (w/Famous B & Beautiful Brenda) vs. Son of Havoc

Vamp spends the next two minutes putting over how dangerous Dr. Wagner Jr. is. After getting his butt kicked for sixty seconds, Havoc makes his quick comeback and misses the SSP. The DOCTOR DRIVER takes care of Havoc in 2:05. Famous B and Beautiful Brenda celebrate like they just won the lottery because they just did. The crowd is not liking this one. Famous B takes some stethoscope to check if Havoc’s heart is still beating. Great stuff. Glad to see Famous B find some success at the end of the season.

Final Thoughts: While I’m not a huge fan of the matches per se, the booking was excellent here tonight as this felt like a show within Ultima Lucha that wouldn’t have worked any other way. You probably won’t hear anything else about what happened here tonight until season three either. Thumbs in the middle for night one.

Posted on July 7, 2016, in Lucha Underground and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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