TEN YEARS AFTER: WWE Friday Night Smackdown (07.13.07)

WWE: Friday Night Smackdown
July 13, 2007
New Orleans, LA
New Orleans Arena

The current Smackdown champions are as follows:
World Heavyweight Champion: Edge (5/11/2007)
WWE United States Champion: MVP (5/20/2007)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce N Domino (4/20/2007)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero (2/18/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

Your hosts are Michael Cole and JBL. It’s a Friday the 13th episode, guys!

In the back, Edge is talking to someone on the phone about his “Mardi Gras” party he’s planning for tonight. He does realize Mardi Gras takes place before Ash Wednesday, right? Anyways, Kane is messing with Edge like this was a scene straight out of Halloween. For some reason, Edge doesn’t seem very concerned that Kane will ruin this party tonight.

  • Matt Hardy vs. Chris Masters

The US champ MVP stops by to scout Matt Hardy and add in some extra special commentary. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate early, but Masters shoves him into the buckle. MVP has a great analytical point: It’s not that Matt is quick, Masters is just really slow. Masters takes over with power moves and calls for the Master Lock just as we go to break. When we return, Matt counters a sleeper to a jawbreaker and hits an enziguri. Masters stays on top though and whips Matt hard into the buckle. Masters works the back with a backbreaker stretch. Matt wills his way back with the AHH elbow drop and the Side Effect for two. Masters catches him in a powerslam, but Matt slips out and counters to the TWIST OF FATE all in one motion to pick up the win. (10:03 shown) Cool finish. After the match, MVP distracts Matt long enough for Masters to sneak up and put out Matt with the MASTERLOCK. After Matt’s out, MVP hits the PLAYMAKER and the Ballin’ Elbow Drop. Why does JBL say it like BALL-IN? **½

  • Finlay vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Finlay makes with the roughhouse tactics early, but Yang fires off a few swift kicks and a headscissors. Finlay commences working over Yang’s arm. Yang comes back briefly with a Flying Body Press. Finlay avoids the Flying Moonsault though and nails the CELTIC CROSS for the win. (6:42) Afterwards, Hornswoggle gets him some of Yang. *½

WWE presents the “Just For Men: Stay in the Game” Moment: Smackdown, 7/6/07. The Major Brothers debut.

  • Chavo Guerrero & Jamie Noble vs. The Major Bros.

Lots of armdrags into armbars from the Majors. They haul out some old 1980s double teams. Chavo and Jamie take over and the match works considerably better. Brett hits an enziguri on Noble while aiming for Chavo. Hot tag to Brian. He cleans house to zero reaction. Chavo goes into the Three Amigos, but one of the Majors hits a missile dropkick on him for the upset win. (7:14)
They need more than two regular tag teams at any given time or else this is all meaningless. Chavo and Jamie argue about who was at fault in the loss. *½

The Great Khali’s translator, Runjin Singh, tries to get the Khali/Batista match cancelled. Vickie Guerrero wants to do what’s best for the fans though. Since they don’t get their way, Khali tosses around a producer.

REY MYSTERIO – he’s coming back.

In the back, Edge is just chilling watching Smackdown when Kane appears on his monitor. CREEPY~!

The Smackdown GM Teddy Long hosts the contract signing between the Great Khali and Batista. When Khali refuses to shake hands, Batista gives him a smack across the face.

  • Chuck Palumbo vs. Luke Hawx

JBL – “Chuck Palumbo is just a good guy who likes to beat up people.” Hmm. Palumbo throws this guy around while Cole and JBL talk about “buying American” and whatnot. The Gunnslinger wins at 1:41.

Jesse & Festus are coming to Smackdown. Believe it or not, the ladies love Festus!

Kane is even watching Edge while he’s brushing his teeth! Who is the babyface here?

In the back, Domino offers to give Eugene a ride in their car if Eugene wrestles Deuce’s opponent tonight. I don’t like where this is going.

  • Mark Henry vs. Eugene

Deuce was scheduled to take on Mark Henry? Who thought *that* was a good idea? Cole sticks to his tried-and-true method of getting over heels: calling them bullies. Henry hits the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM and bearhugs Eugene to death for the win at 1:38.

Michelle McCool is still loving life. I’m sorry, guys. I don’t see the appeal. There’s skinny, and then there’s Michelle McCool skinny.

In the back, Teddy Long congratulates Vickie on holding her ground. Kristal asks Vickie if she’d be her maid-of-honor.

  • Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Victoria grabs a quick advantage and then tries to rip Torrie’s face off. She truly is not the lady to mess with. Finally, Vicky misses a standing moonsault, and Torrie comes back with clotheslines. She slips out of the Widow’s Peak though and kicks Victoria to the floor. THESZ PRESS OFF THE APRON! BY GAWD! TORRIE WILSON IS WALKIN’ TALL! Torrie kicks Victoria away from the ring and hops back inside just before the ref finishes his count to pick up the cheap win. (4:33) YOU BETTER BELIEVE THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY! Actually, not that bad. *½

In the back, Edge is psyched about his partygoers costumes. Time to party!

Time for the Mardi Gras Celebration – five months too late! Edge celebrates with his partygoers. Suddenly, he gets all paranoid and SPEARS the queen when it’s so obvious that it’s Kane dressed up as the king. Kane destroys Edge and the partygoers to ruin the party. Geez, WHO KNEW~!

THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE ON BOURBON STREET FOR EDGE! See you next week, folks.

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