TEN YEARS AFTER: WWE SummerSlam 2007

WWE: SummerSlam 2007
August 26, 2007
East Rutherford, NJ
Continental Airlines Arena

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (9/17/2006)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Umaga (7/2/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (6/4/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Candice Michelle (6/24/2007)
ECW Champion: John Morrison (6/24/2007)
World Heavyweight Champion: The Great Khali (7/20/2007)
WWE United States Champion: MVP (5/20/2007)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce & Domino (4/20/2007)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Hornswoggle (7/22/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole & JBL, and Joey Styles & Tazz.

  • Kane vs. Finlay

Hmm, interesting choice for an opener. Kane’s ribs are wrapped up thanks to a shillelagh attack. Kane punches and boots Finlay all around to start. When he goes up for the Flying Clothesline, Finlay knocks him off the top rope landing him on his ribs. Finlay works the ribbies for a while and of course makes it look as painful as possible because he’s Finlay and that’s what he does. Kane comes back with an enziguri (!!) and hits a Side Slam for two. The Flying Clothesline connects, but Finlay avoids a corner charge and sentons the ribs for a nearfall. Finlay brings Hornswoggle into the mix, but Kane sits up and Horny wants nothing to do with the big guy. Kane boots down Finlay and brings Horny back into the ring. He’s hoping for a chokeslam, but Finlay saves the day. Kane can’t lift Finlay up for the Chokeslam because of the ribbies. Finlay unties a turnbuckle pad causing the ref to be distracted so he can grab the shillelagh. The ref takes the shillelagh away, but Hornswoggle sneaks Finlay another one to whack Kane. Rollup, 1-2-NO! Finlay, however, misses a charge and posts himself, allowing Kane to finish with the CHOKESLAM. (8:50) Not a big fan of the little choo-choo train that could psychology where Kane tried several times to hit the move and then was able to hit it after more punishment on his ribs, but whatever. **¼

In the back, Vince and all of the authority figures party. Nothing of note other than Vince saying he wouldn’t “do” an Englishwoman even with Coach’s dick. Seriously? I can think of a few. Not even Kate Beckinsale? Jane Seymour in “Live and Let Die”? Shoot, even Jane Seymour in “Wedding Crashers”?!

  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Umaga (c) vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

The heels try to convince Umaga to go after the other one, so he goes after BOTH. Kennedy breaks up the Buttalanche allowing Carlito to knock Umaga to the floor. Kennedy adds a running boot to the face driving Umaga to the steps ala Bobby Lashley. In the ring, Kennedy busts out The Stroke on Carlito. WHAT. Umaga recovers and yanks Kennedy to the floor. He tries a splash in the corner, but Kennedy saves Carlito again. Kennedy grabs one of the monitors and smashes it into the post in the general vicinity of Umaga’s head. Well, that was lame. Umaga reverses a double suplex attempt and rips into Kennedy and Carlito. Kennedy takes the Gunnslinger while Carlito eats the Buttalanche. Kennedy dumps out Umaga and hits Carlito with the Finlay Roll for two, but then Umaga pulls him off the cover and hits the SAMOAN SPIKE for the win. (7:24) Well folks, I believe Mr. Kennedy has just been humbled. Basically a handicap match here, but action-packed for sure. At least Umaga seems to have a solid following as a babyface. **½

  • Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey is all decked out supposed to be looking like the Silver Surfer since Fantastic Four II was one of the summer super hero movies of 2007. I’m thinking he looks more along the lines of Tobias from Arrested Development covered in that diamond cream though. After some lucha stuff, Chavo goes for the knee. When he misses a dropkick and falls out to the floor, Rey follows him out with a somersault plancha. Back inside, Chavo trips Mysterio on the top turnbuckle into the tree of woe which wrenches the knee. He continues the knee violence with a stretch muffler. Rey escapes with a headscissors, but Chavo stays on top of him. More knee work, but Rey enziguri kicks Chavo for the 6-1-9. As he comes off the ropes, his knee gives out and Chavo grabs the half crab. Rey finds the ropes and puts Chavo in the tree of woe to wrench his knee. To the floor, Rey follows him out with a seated senton off the apron. Back inside, he hits another seated senton and Buzzsaw kicks Chavo in the head for 1-2-NO! Quebrada into a swinging DDT (or twirling DDT if you’re Michael Cole) gets 1-2-NO! Rey misses a flying bodypress, so Chavo goes for the kill with the GORY BOMB for 1-2-NO! Chavo ducks the 6-1-NINER and tries the Three Amigos, but Rey flips out of the third one and hits the 6-1-9 followed by a springboard splash for the win. (12:05) So his knee gets better as the match goes on? Weird psychology, but that’s WWE sometimes and the second time we’ve seen it tonight. Every babyface is a superman. ***

Over to Todd Grisham, King Booker promises to make Triple H bow down.

  • Divas Battle Royal

The WWE Women’s champ Candice Michelle observes from ringside. The winner of this match gets a title shot at some point. Your participants are Maria, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Kristal, Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, and Brooke. Brooke goes early. Jillian tosses Maria. Layla gets tossed by Melina. Kristal boots Victoria out and then gets inadvertently eliminated by Michelle McCool. I can only assume that’s going to come back to haunt Michelle. Divas start flying fast and furious.

FINAL FOUR: Torrie, Melina, Michelle, and Beth. Torrie and Michelle toss out Melina and then go after Beth, but she boots Torrie to the floor. That leaves the scrawny McCool against a rather beefy Beth Phoenix. Michelle fires away, but Beth picks her up and dumps her over the top. (7:09) Lots to look at – that’s for sure. BETH PHOENIX IS ON HER WAY. ½*

MVP interrupts the celebration and talks about drinking beer back in the day. So now he’s going to lower his standards and engage in a “beer-drinking contest.” The crowd already knows what’s coming. Matt Hardy comes out and says MVP got to pick a substitute for their boxing match, so Matt has a substitute beer-drinker. MVP is the only man on the planet who doesn’t know what’s coming. NOW BREAK THAT GLASS! Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to drink sum damn beers. But first, he knocks MVP silly with a Stone Cold Stunner.

Back at the party, Cryme Tyme thinks one of them might be Vince’s son. That leads to a lot of dancing, which would normally be eye-roll inducing, but William Regal joins in and gets down with his bad English self. Ron Simmons stops by.

  • ECW Championship: John Morrison (c) vs. CM Punk

They trade some stiff chinlocks to kick things off. Big spinning slam by Punk, and a springboard dropkick puts Morrison on the apron. Punk tries a suplex, but Morrison counters with a reverse neckbreaker to the apron. Ouch! Back in, cover gets two. Morrison pounds the CRAP out of Punk and gets two. He cranks on Punk’s neck and a roundhouse kick gets another two. Back to the chinlock. Punk elbows out and a Jack Brisco rollup gets 1-2-NO! Morrison wants a catapult, but Punk catches himself in the corner and hits a crossbody for 1-2-NO! Punk avoids a corner charge and connects with the Running Knee Strike. Morrison puts the brakes on the Bulldog and tries a back suplex, but Punk flips out and hits the Enziguri! Cover, 1-2-NO! Snap powerslam gets two. Pepsi Twist is countered with the backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for 1-2-NO! Punk gets the Pepsi Twist anyway and delivers a top-rope Moonsault for 1-2-NO! Well that was cool. He pulls out stuff he hasn’t used against Morrison yet, which is smart considering how much they’ve wrestled over the several months. Morrison gets crotched and takes a springboard clothesline . Small package from Punk gets 1-2-NO! Roundhouse kick connects and Punk sets up for the hurracanrana, but Morrison hooks the ropes and the cheap corner pin gets 1-2-3. (7:09) It just started getting good, too. **¼

  • Triple H vs. King Booker (w/Queen Sharmell)

Triple H returns for his first match since New Year’s Revolution. The Six Million Dollar Man video package is pretty funny, I must say. He looks slimmed down like 2000-era Triple H, which was the best Triple H. Booker tries to bum rush the show, but Triple H fires back and clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in, they botch something and Helmsley has to cover with another weak clothesline to the floor. Triple H hits the Facebuster for two. After Sharmell grabs an ankle, Booker goes to work on the leg. Triple H clips the knee for payback and grabs the Figure-Four, but Sharmell rakes the eyes to help her king escape. Helmsley fights back and throws Booker to the floor for some ringside violence. Back inside, Triple H finds the AA Spinebuster. He blocks the Pedigree and hits the BOOK END! Cover, 1-2-NO! Booker goes up for the Harlem Hangover, but misses! He avoids the Pedigree again and tries a roundhouse kick, but Triple H ducks and finally delivers the PEDIGREE for the win. (7:57) THE GAME IS BACK. This wasn’t much more than a glorified squash, but for me this is really the berth of a new era for Triple H, as he starts having solid matches on the regular until he stops working full time as a wrestler in 2010. As for Booker T and Sharmell, they don’t end up resigning with WWE and leave to go work at Impact Wrestling for a few years. Booker returned alone to WWE at the Royal Rumble in 2011 where he remains to this day. **

  • World Heavyweight Championship: The Great Khali (c) (w/Ranjin Singh) vs. Batista

Khali jumps Batista on his way into the ring and clubs him down. He grabs the traps, which would normally be incredibly boring, but JBL explains why the hold works and what kind of damage it does. Now, that would be all well and good, but Batista really doesn’t sell it like that, and neither does anyone else. See, if they just walked around with one arm hanging limp, it would be a cool move. Batista forces out and spinebusters Khali for two, but Khali TREE SLAMS him and then hits him with a chair for the DQ. (6:55) Well, that terrible finish sets up a rematch for the next PPV, but it seems like they should have done the title change here and not on a B-show PPV. CRAP

Back at the party, William Regal brings in Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young. He says Mae wants to have Vince’s children. It gets a little gross. You wouldn’t believe the taste in Vince’s mouth. He seems to like it though. Coach is pretty disgusted. Vince drops the expression that “old chicken makes good soup”.

  • WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Randy Orton

If you think about it, there’s really been five years of build for this one as they both started on the main roster at the same time. They may have had different roads to success, but you have to know there were hopes this would be a “money match” for WWE in the future way back when. It is a spirited atmosphere to say the least. They trade control over a headlock to start. It’s REAL dramatic right now. Cena escapes and tries the STFU, but Orton reaches the ropes and then punches Cena in the face. He puts the boots to Cena and punches him back in the corner. Cena comes back with the face slam for two. He telegraphs a backdrop and gets knocked down. Orton baits Cena into the shoulderblock routine and causes Cena to crash and burn. AWESOME. Orton runs Cena off the apron onto the announce table to further knock the wind out of him. Back in, that gets two. Orton grabs his infamous chinlock and wears down Cena, but Cena finds a way to back suplex out of it. Cena misses a corner charge though and Orton covers for two. He ratchets up the Garvin Stomp, but misses a knee drop. Orton catches Cena for a powerslam and returns to the chinlock. Cena powers out, but comes off the ropes into a beautiful standing dropkick. Back to the chinlock. Cena backs Orton into a corner to break the hold and begins the shoulderblocks. Protobomb leads to the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Orton avoids the FU though and hits the Inverted Backbreaker. Now time for the Draping DDT. CONCUSSION CITY~! Orton covers for 1-2-NO! He salivates over getting the RKO, but Cena blocks only to charge Orton and fly over the top rope. Orton whips Cena into the steps for two. Cena tries the Throwback, but Orton is out of position and settles for a neckbreaker. They fight over a superplex, which ends with Cena hitting the Flying Famouser. Orton grabs the ropes to avoid the FU and floats out to the apron to snap Cena’s neck on the top rope. Now Orton wants to punt Cena’s head, but Cena avoids the kick and finds the STFU! ORTON JUST MAKES THE ROPES! RKO out of nowhere to Cena! Cover, 1-2-NO! As Orton grabs Cena, Cena pops up and hits the FU! Cover, 1-2-3. (21:20) This was the one match on the card that actually felt like a big match. It could have stood to have Orton kick out of the FU and go a few more seconds until a real finish. As it is, it just looks like Cena completely no-sold the RKO. The design, storyline, and effort were outstanding, but the final stretch of the match needed to be just a bit longer to build to a crescendo and make the match something really special. As it is, it’s just the best match on a bad card. I also think they missed the boat on having Orton win the WWE title here tonight. With ten years of hindsight, this was the night to pull the trigger. ****

Final Thoughts: I think this show ended up being a night of missed opportunities. If this is as big of a show as WWE touts SummerSlam as being, then something needed to happen other than just the comebacks of Triple H and Rey Mysterio. It was a great night to change some of these belts around, but everything felt like it was building to some bigger show that won’t come. As good as the main event was, I don’t think it was satisfying enough or moved WWE into a new direction in order to save the show. With that said, I’m giving SummerSlam 2007 a mild “thumbs down”. That main event is definitely worth a look and a must-see if you’re a fan of the Cena-Orton rivalry.

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