WWE: RAW
August 27, 2007
Boston, MA
TD Northbank Garden

The current RAW champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (9/17/2006)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Umaga (7/2/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (6/4/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Candice Michelle (6/24/2007)

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler. Due to the U.S. Open premiering on the USA Network, this edition of RAW aired on the Sci-Fi Network.

Randy Orton starts the show and heads to the ring. He looks very stoic allowing Ross and Lawler to put over how he’s cold hearted and has “ice running through his veins”. Orton claims he spent all day in church because last night he witnessed the miracle of John Cena defeating him at SummerSlam. Naturally, he wants a rematch and issues the challenge to Cena. Well, John Cena immediately answers and busts out the tunnel full of fire. He’s comfortable with this crowd since he’s in his hometown. He reminds Randy Orton that he couldn’t get the job done when the lights were bright, but ensures Orton another WWE title shot at some point. He thinks there’s a better, more deserving title contender in WWE besides Orton now that SummerSlam is over. That man is TRIPLE H. Cena wants Helmsley for tonight, but RAW GM William Regal comes out to tell him that he won’t be fighting Triple H tonight. Instead, he’ll be facing King Booker. So you lose at SummerSlam to the guy Cena wants to fight, and instead of John Cena facing *that* guy, you get to face John Cena instead? How exactly does that work? Ross thinks there might be some collusion on Booker and Regal’s part. Anywho, Orton tries to RKO Cena from outta nowhere, and gets shrugged off to pout on the floor like a psychotic child.

• Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy
  

Jeff makes his return here after taking a month off for an injury. Interestingly enough, his last match was against Mr. Kennedy. He’s also cut his hair awful short. Looks odd. They take turns beating on each other to start. As they go to the floor, Hardy connects with a pescado to lead into commercials. When we come back, Hardy is stuck in a body scissors. Once he gets free, Kennedy throws him into the corner and bends him over the ringpost. The abdominal stretch is applied. When Hardy tries to escape, Kennedy slams him into the corner for the tree of woe. He fights off a back superplex and hits the Whisper in the Wind. The comeback continues setting up the Swanton Bomb, but Kennedy brings up the knees to block. Jeff might be dead. Next thing we know, Umaga comes out to the ring. He scares away Kennedy, but then superkicks Hardy’s head off for the DQ. (9:54 shown) After the bell, Umaga absolutely destroys Hardy with the Buttalanche and the SAMOAN SPIKE. He then grabs Jeff by the hair and holds the IC title in his face while yelling at him. So much for the face turn. *½

In the back, Mr. McMahon and Mr. Kennedy share a moment. Not at all subtle that Mr. Kennedy is (or should I say “was”) slated to be the bastard son.

Carlito’s Cabana: His special guest this week is Mr. McMahon. Carlito wishes Vince a “belated happy birthday”, which was last Friday. He’s turned 50 years old and his grapefruits are still growing! McMahon confesses he will sue the mother of his bastard son for “emotional distress” if she does not reveal his name in two weeks time. Carlito backs him up and sucks up to Vince until Triple H interrupts. Well, that entrance eats up like three minutes.

While he was on the shelf, Hunter says he was able to find out who Vince’s son is despite this announcement being made that Vince had a bastard son like three weeks ago. He’s narrowed it down to three women who might be the mother. The first chick Triple H brings out is someone Vince met at WrestleMania 3 he confused for Aretha Franklin, but come to find out was just a baggage check girl at the Pontiac Silverdome. Vince claims she could “hit the high notes” that night. They bring out “One-Eyed Wendy” as the second chick who Vince poked in the eye with his little man. Vince is just going along with all this? He’s admitting to sleeping with these women? Carlito’s sister is the third chick. Carlito flips out on her in Spanish. Instead of eating apples, she licks them. Vince apologizes to Carlito for possibly waking him up as a child. Triple H is confused that Carlito’s sister isn’t spitting. Good grief. Put the kids to bed. The final chick is a blond transvestite named Frank.

Vince has had enough and threatens to kick them all in their babymakers if they don’t get off his stage. Once that’s over, Triple H gets Vince to say he loves cocks, but Vince stops himself. McMahon tells Triple that he wishes he never came back and that he hates him. Can you really blame him? After Vince walks out, Carlito turns Triple H around and chastises him for disrespecting Mr. McMahon. When Carlito threatens to put Triple H on the shelf for another eight months, Helmsley accuses Carlito of “sucking a few grapefruits”. Well, Carlito chews up some of his apple, and spits it in Triple H’s face. Again, HE HAD IT COMING. Triple H then beats up Carlito and drops him with a PEDIGREE to end the segment.

WWE presents the JUST FOR MEN – STAY IN THE GAME MOMENT: RAW, 8/20/07. Cody Rhodes upsetting Shelton Benjamin, and then getting attacked by Haas and Benjamin.

• Paul London, Brian Kendrick & Cody Rhodes vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team & Daivari
  

Benjamin debuts his blonde look tonight to give him the Kevin Randleman look. London and Kendrick shine to start on Daivari until Kendrick runs into an elbow. He gets cornered on the wrong side of town for a bit. TWGTT punish him with suplexes. Kendrick escapes from the clutches of Daivari and hot tags Cody. The match breaks down as London and Kendrick clean house on TWGTT to give them STEREO TOPE SUICIDAS. Inside the ring, Cody delivers a flying body press on Daivari for the three-count. (3:09) After the break, Daivari was in the ring ranting and raving so out came Cryme Tyme. They steal Daivari’s turban and sell it for five bucks. The tag champs Cade and Murdoch come out as well. They want revenge for Cryme Tyme stealing Murdoch’s hat last week and costing them a match against London and Kendrick. It looks like Cryme Tyme might get in the ring and fight, but instead JTG steals Cade’s cowboy hat as he and Shad run through the crowd. Shad then actually just gives the hat away. MONEY? MONEY? Nope. *

Back in McMahon’s office, he and Coach discuss how Triple H needs to be punished for what he did tonight when Randy Orton busts in demanding a rematch with John Cena. Dude, that was like over an hour ago. McMahon doesn’t think Orton deserves another WWE title shot right now, but instead inspires Vince to show him he deserves it. Until then, no title shot. Orton then storms out of his office.

• Maria vs. Beth Phoenix
  

No match. Beth pearl harbors Maria before the bell and absolutely destroys her – leaving her laying with the FLYING PHOENIX. Awesome.

In the back, Todd Grisham interviews the Women’s champ Candice Michelle. She’s not intimidated by Beth Phoenix. Maybe you should be. Snitsky walks over and interrupts the interview to say it’s a challenge to know when to stop dishing out pain, because pain is his pleasure. There’s that baked bean teeth smile!

Back over to Vince and Coach. RAW GM William Regal walks in to tell Vince that his family will be coming to RAW to confront him, and that they will be bringing their attorneys. Both guys then gave Coach the evil eye. Not sure why, but they did.

• John Cena vs. King Booker (w/Queen Sharmell)
  

Cena avoids the Harlem Side Kick early and hits the running face slam for two. Booker chops back, but Cena finds the release fisherman’s suplex. Booker misses the Hook Kick. Cena looks for the STFU, but Booker makes the ropes and rolls out. Commercials! When we return, Booker is in control and finally finds the Hook Kick. The Spinning Heel Kick gets two. Cena powers out of a wristlock and catches Booker with a spinebuster for two. Booker blocks a corner charge with a boot and delivers a Side Slam for two. He grabs an overhead wristlock again. Cena fights up to his feet and tries an FU, but Booker escapes and superkicks Cena down. JR continues to get over the head trauma that Cena faced last night. Cover, 1-2-NO! It’s not what you do in the ring that counts, it’s how it’s sold. Cena avoids the Axe Kick and just as he starts to come back on Booker, RANDY ORTON runs out for the DQ. (7:54) They dish out a 2-on-1 beating on Cena. After Booker lays out Cena with the Axe Kick, he leaves Cena to get punted in the head by Orton. He decides at the last second not to do it and instead goes out to punt John Cena’s dad (who has been in the front row all night) in the head. IMPRESSED NOW, MCMAHON? As medical assistance runs past him, Orton looks quite pleased with himself. Cena and the medics crowd around John Cena Sr. as the show comes to a close for another week. **½

Until next time, so long for now!