WWE: Smackdown
August 31, 2007
Albany, NY
Times Union Center

The current Smackdown champions are as follows:
World Heavyweight Champion: The Great Khali (7/20/2007)
WWE United States Champion: MVP (5/20/2007)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce & Domino (4/20/2007)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Hornswoggle (7/22/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

Your hosts are Michael Cole & JBL.

JUST A REMINDER (from thehistoryofwwe.com): “8/30/07: WWE announced the suspensions of 10 performers for 30 days after receiving information from the Albany, NY district attorney’s office that the 10 were clients of an Internet prescription firm after the Wellness policy took effect. The names of the 10 were not released but an announcement was made that as of Nov. 1 the identities of those who are suspended for drug policy violations would be made public. An 11th name was added the following day. The identities were later confirmed as Charlie Haas, Edge, Gregory Helms, John Morrison, William Regal, Ken Kennedy, Umaga, Sho Funaki, Chris Masters, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. One of those implicated, Booker T, gave his notice after being told he was suspended.”

We begin the show with the Smackdown GM Teddy Long in the ring with the World Heavyweight Champion the Great Khali and his interpreter Ranjin Singh. Teddy wants to find out who Khali’s next opponent for the Unforgiven PPV will be and makes a one-night four-man tournament to name a #1 contender. It’s called a “Championship Competition”, but that’s just a vague way of saying “tournament”. He makes Finlay against Kane and the winner of that match will face the winner of Batista against the returning REY MYSTERIO. Well, I think we can figure out who it *won’t* be.

• Finlay vs. Kane
  

Kane’s ribbies are no longer taped, which is odd considering he took so much rib abuse at SummerSlam. He threatens Finlay with his own shillelagh and then decides to throw it up the aisle right up to the tunnel. Hornswoggle immediately replaces Finlay’s shillelagh though. Kane works on Finlay’s shillelagh swingin’ arm for the longest time. Eventually, Finlay baits Kane out to the floor while selling the arm and backs Kane ribs first into the steps. Crowd seems to be behind Finlay! He starts to bully around Kane while he’s got him on his backside. Finlay tries a pump splash, but Kane brings up the knees and mounts his comeback. Side Slam sets up the Flying Clothesline. CHOKESLAM! Finlay slips away from the Tombstone and clips the knee, but Kane turns around and boots him down. Hornswoggle sneaks in and distracts the ref while Finlay grabs the shillelagh and whacks Kane in the face for the win. (7:10) This feud has to lead to some sort of “shillelagh on a pole” match, right? **

Another Jesse & Festus promo. WHEN ARE THEY GONNA MAKE THEIR DEBUTS?

• WWE Tag Team Championship: Deuce N Domino (c) (w/Cherry) vs. Matt Hardy & MVP
  

Here in Matt Hardy and MVP, we have the “tag team partners who can’t get along” deal. There’s a brawl to start since Deuce N Domino attacked Hardy and MVP last week on Smackdown. Once the match settles down a bit, Matt and MVP are blind tagging each other to show off. Naturally, Matt becomes *your* face in peril. MVP is constantly talking smack and doesn’t really have any interest in tagging Hardy. Cherry catches MVP’s eye and Matt nearly gets pinned, but MVP stops the count. Matt fights out of the DND corner and hits the Side Effect on Domino! He makes it over to MVP and smacks him across the face for the tag. Domino grabs Matt, but Matt grabs him for the TWIST OF FATE! Now MVP comes in the ring and tosses out Matt so he can pin Domino and hog all the glory to win the tag titles. (10:52 shown) Ladies and gents, we’ve got *new* WWE tag team champs. This ends the Deuce N Domino experiment. I liked Domino fine and he showed some promise, but I don’t think Deuce really ever got “it” if you know what I mean. Real basic formula tag, but the story between MVP and Matt Hardy made this not quite so boring. **¼

In the back, Batista goes to see Mr. McMahon. Vince wonders if Bats is his bastard son. Batista was raised by a single mom in terrible poverty. If Vince turns out to be his father who never contributed a dime to his family, Bats says he will beat him unmercifully. YIKES. McMahon changes his mind about their similarities and just wishes Batista the best of luck tonight.

Teddy Long and Kristal Marshall are getting MARRIED in three weeks at the Philips Arena in ATL!

Eugene is in the ring with a t-shirt gun when Mark Henry interrupts. Eugene tries to shoot him with the t-shirt gun. BAD IDEA JEANS. Henry NO-SELLS a t-shirt gun and crushes Eugene with a BEARHUG. Now that the fun is over, Henry wants to talk about the Undertaker who will be returning at Unforgiven. BONG! They air a cool video that builds to the Undertaker’s hand shooting up out of the dirt. Awesome.

• Batista vs. Rey Mysterio
  

The crowd is quite thrilled to see Rey back on the show. However, the men in the crowd BOO he and Bats for hugging before the match. Clearly having the size and power advantage, Batista doesn’t really seem to want to hurt Rey to start. Rey on the other hand isn’t really treating Bats any different. He kicks at Bats and headscissors down, but then Bats pops up and drills him with a clothesline. Feeling guilty, Batista throws Rey to the floor hoping to win by countout. Rey comes back in and tries a springboard crossbody, but Bats swats him down. He grabs a chinlock and a body scissors hoping to overwhelm and submit Rey. When that doesn’t work, Rey comes back and dropkicks Bats in the recently injured thigh. He then baits Batista to the floor and dropkicks him through the ropes. Back in, Batista boots him down and totally regrets it. He gets over the regret rather quickly and grabs Rey for the Demon Bomb, but Rey grabs the ropes and hits La Silla for 1-2-NO! Bats catches the 6-1-9 and slams him down. DEMON BOMB TIME! Oh no, here comes Finlay with a chair. Batista gets rid of him though and takes the chair. When ref Mickey Henson tries to take the chair away from him, Bats shoves him down for the weak DQ. (5:54) Mysterio meets Finlay in the finals later tonight. I enjoyed the psychology here and feel like there’s a good 20 minute story to tell. **½

Let Us Take You Back: RAW, 8/27/07. Triple H brings out various women (and one guy) who he thinks could be the mother of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son.

Mr. McMahon and Jonathan Coachman come out to the ring to further discuss who the mother is. Vince assures everyone that if he’s having sex, you better believe that chick is top shelf. To counter what Triple H had done on RAW, Coach brings out some women who Vince is more than pleased to admit to having had sex with. Just by looking at them and the dates that Coach is giving out where Vince supposedly slept with them, Vince had better hoped he checked ID’s first. The only interesting chick is that one of them is now a nun. Naturally, she’s carrying a ruler. She tells Vince that the only one to satisfy her since – was GOD. After one night with Vince, she could never be intimate with another man. Wow. Vince jokes that she was also “second to nun”. Hiyooooo. Once the ladies leave the stage, McMahon rants and raves about his family showing up on RAW this coming Monday. He says he wants to tell everyone that there was more to life than money. If his bastard son shows up on Monday, hopefully the McMahon family can come together and show him the love.

MASTERLOCK CHALLENGE: Chuck Palumbo. They started this feud last week when Palumbo squashed Masters in two minutes. Masters tries a cheapshot, but Palumbo fights him off and sends Masters running up the aisle. JBL tells us to mark his words that Palumbo will be a champion here on Smackdown. Hiyooooo.

Let Us Take You Back: RAW, 8/27/07. The latest between John Cena and Randy Orton.

Backstage, it seems Jamie Noble is obsessed with Hornswoggle. Shannon Moore walks over and wishes Noble good luck on their WWE Cruiserweight title match next week. After a pat on the back, we see that Moore put a sign on Noble’s back that says, “I <3 LEPRECHAUNS”. Hiyooooo.

• Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay
  

At least now Rey has someone he can realistically execute his moveset to here. Finlay controls with headlocks and shoulderblocks to start. Mysterio kicks him back and hits the wheelbarrow bulldog for two. They go to the floor where Hornswoggle trips up Rey on the floor allowing Finlay to deliver a running senton to the back. Commercials! When we return, Finlay is slamming Mysterio in a way so that his legs hit the bottom rope. He grabs a half crab because WHY WOULDN’T YOU? Rey kicks him in the face to come back and hits the 6-1-9 to the back of Finlay’s head. Finlay ducks the springboard and Mysterio sunset flips him for the three-count. (5:12 shown) Great finish to a good match, but too short to mean a whole lot. Is Finlay not one of the smartest and best workers in the world? He reminds me so much of Tony Charles. **½

So yeah, now Rey Mysterio is going to face the Great Khali for the world title at Unforgiven, which makes absolutely no sense. Khali comes out for the big stand-off so we can see the size difference. Khali looks to be easily 18 inches taller than Rey and over 250 pounds heavier. He shoves Rey down drawing BOOS from the crowd. As he looks for the Brain Chop, Batista runs down for the save. Bats shoulderblocks Khali into the ropes so Rey can hit the 6-1-9. Khali staggers around and takes a SPEAR from Batista to send him packing – totally no-selling the whole deal to close out the show.

Our next stop in 2007 will be back on RAW to see what’s new with John Cena and Randy Orton. It should be fun!

Until then, so long for now.