TEN YEARS AFTER: WWE RAW (09.10.07)
September 10, 2007
Green Bay, WI
The current RAW champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (9/17/2006)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy (9/3/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (9/8/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Candice Michelle (6/24/2007)
Follow along with the WWE Network!
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler.
Vince McMahon and RAW Interim GM Jonathan Coachman come out to discuss the identity of Vince’s bastard son. McMahon suspends Kennedy for impersonating a McMahon last week. The Great Khali comes out because “things are looking up” which *has* to mean he’s the bastard. JBL interrupts and says “looking up” refers to his portfolio. Jeff Hardy comes out and says he’s been getting these weird messages and hopes he’s not Vince’s son. Okay then. The lawyer fella from last week appears on the TitanTron and confirms that it is *not* Jeff Hardy, but we’ll have to wait until the end of the night to find out who it really is. Vince is so upset that he puts Jeff in a match with Khali.
- Paul London (w/Brian Kendrick) vs. Lance Cade (w/Trevor Murdoch)
They actually acknowledge the tag title switch last week. Cade tries to ground the match with a headlock, but London comes back with an inverted atomic drop and a hurracanrana. He runs into the referee, which is odd because the ref wasn’t actually in his way at the time. A missile dropkick gets two, but Cade gives him a HUUUUGE backdrop. Trevor Murdoch tries to interfere and distracts the ref long enough for Kendrick to sneak in and hit a SLICED BREAD#2. That leads to a STANDING SSP from London for the win. (3:08) Cade and Murdoch seem pretty calm considering the lack of sportsmanship there. *
In the back, Triple H hypes his new t-shirt. What a comedian!
They take us back to last Monday night when John Cena DESTROYED the RAW GM William Regal since he rewarded Randy Orton for his violence actions against Cena’s father a WWE title rematch at Unforgiven. Backstage, it looks like the crack security crew at the Resch Center has been ordered by Jonathan Coachman to keep John Cena out of the building. I’m sure this will go well.
In the office, Coach introduces Vince to the man who is #2 in the online voting of who Vince’s bastard son is — Steven Richards. Vince laughs in his face. Wow, way to bury the guy. Apparently, Triple H is #1 in the voting, which gives us a natural segue to Hunter destroying Umaga with his sledgehammer.
Carlito says he will pick Triple H’s opponent tonight.
- Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin (w/Carlito)
Hey, remember 2004 when Shelton had Triple H’s number? Shelton works in a few of his usual spots. Hunter blocks the Exploder though and tosses Shelton into the post. He stops to argue with Carlito and then throws Shelton on top of him. When we return, Shelton has Triple H down in a chinlock. He hits a DDT for two. A springboard knockdown of sorts gets two more. Hunter comes back with a clothesline, and they slug it out. AA SPINEBUSTER! Carlito hops up to distract Hunter while Shelton recovers. Shelton tries a Stinger Splash, but Helmsley moves and hits the PEDIGREE for the win. (5:31 shown) Afterwards, Coachman comes out and stacks the deck in Carlito’s favor at Unforgiven by saying Carlito can’t be disqualified. Oh man! **½
In the back, security ensures that no one is trying to sneak John Cena into the arena.
Randy Orton comes out to gloat about kicking in the brains of Cena’s dad. He thinks he’s inside Cena’s head now, which gives him the advantage. Cena rushes through the crowd, past security, and attacks Orton. Security yanks him off and keeps him at bay, allowing Orton to live to fight another day.
In the back, Vince is most displeased with Coach’s lack of progress on the Cena situation. Cena storms the back and tells Vince what he’s going to do to Orton. Nice desperate promo from Cena.
- Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James
Mickie has gone black, which is odd because Shelton just went blond. Holy moly! Me like! Candice Michelle is on commentary, which prompts JR to call her “hotter than donut grease.” MICK KICK wins. (2:00) Beth Phoenix comes out and destroys everyone. Candice fights back for a moment, but takes the Stalling Fisherman Buster. ½*
Santino Marella comes out to deride American culture on behalf of Pavarotti’s Ghost.
- Santino Marella vs. The Sandman
Did somebody say “mindless violence”? Sandman appears to injure his ankle, so Santino goes after it. He gets his knees up to block a splash. LACK OF PSYCHOLOGY~! Sandman punches him in the gut, and Marella takes a bump all the way through the ropes to the floor. He grabs Sandman’s cane and can’t connect with the Sandman, but gets DQ’ed anyway. (1:45) In a hilarious Santino-ish moment, he tries to snap Sandman’s cane over his knee but just winds up hurting himself. This ends up being Sandman’s final match in the WWE as he gets granted his release. ¾*
In the back, Maria asks Ron Simmons if she should start seeing other people because Santino is a big douche. Santino attacks Ron from behind and screams, “DAMN-UH!”
Meet the Diva Search contestants. I gotta say, that Eve chick really stands out.
- The Great Khali (w/Runjin Singh) vs. Jeff Hardy
Hardy runs all around Khali until he’s booted down for the HEAD VICE. He wears down Hardy and puts his boot on him for the easy three-count. (3:09) WOW. Batista runs down and spears Khali after the match. *
It’s Main Event Interview Time. Vince immediately eliminates anyone from ECW on general principle. The attorney helpfully eliminates people with riddles. You know, I’ve never seen this done on “The Practice” or “L.A. Law”. Your apparent final three come down to Triple H, Sandman, and JBL. The final clue is “Your son loves to play the game.” Now obviously, that means Triple H, but they realize that’s just too creepy. The lawyer clarifies that the son likes to play games like hide and seek or even marbles. BECAUSE HE’S HORNSWOGGLE! And there you go.
UNFORGIVEN IS NEXT! Until then, so long for now.
Posted on September 10, 2017, in WWE and tagged Batista, Beth Phoenix, Brian Kendrick, Candice Michelle, Carlito, Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Jeff Hardy, Jillian Hall, John Cena, Jonathan Coachman, Lance Cade, Maria, Mickie James, Paul London, Randy Orton, Raw, Ron Simmons, Santino Marella, Shelton Benjamin, The Sandman, Trevor Murdoch, Triple H, Vince McMahon. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.
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