WWE: RAW
December 10, 2007
Bridgeport, CT
Arena at Harbor Yard

The current RAW champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: Randy Orton (10/7/2007)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy (9/3/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (9/8/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Beth Phoenix (10/7/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler. That was one amazing show intro.

It’s time to celebrate the 15th ANNIVERSARY OF RAW with THREE HOURS! And who better to start the show off than with Vince McMahon and two of his tallest children!  Vince said he created a show fifteen years ago that was uncut, uncooked and uncensored. He said RAW was the longest-running prime time series in history, which it’s not. He then said Linda couldn’t be here tonight due to a gastrointestinal problem. No more details please. He introduced Shane and Steph and plugged their title wins for some reason. Just as it was time for the family portrait, HORNSWOGGLE comes running down. The live crowd even starts to chant for the little guy. He squeezes Vince a little too tight and they have to pry him off Vince, but nevertheless. Vince admits he knows his children can’t wait for him to die so they can have his money, but loves them – even Hornswoggle – all the same. He even tells the rubes in the audience he loves them. Geez Vince, is that how you REALLY feel? You know, I wonder if this isn’t where Vince really is at this point. He’s clearly turning the reins of the company over to Triple H and Stephanie when he does pass. Now that he’s done most everything he could do, maybe he’s really just waiting to die? Anyways, as the photographer is about to snap the shot, Triple H interrupts – because OF COURSE HE DOES. Man, that’s one of the ugliest shirts I’ve ever seen. Stephanie seems a little excited to see him. Triple H comes out, winks and nods that he’s Vince’s son-in-law, and then wants to embarrass Vince by bringing out people he had “loved” in the past. He brings out Vince’s whores of the past – Melina, SUNNY, and MAE YOUNG?! Vince explains it was at Moolah’s funeral and he had A LOT to drink. As Vince continues to explain himself, Shane decides to head for the exit sign. Triple H CONTINUES THIS SEGMENT by introducing men who Vince has mistaken for a woman for some loving: Howard Finkel, Big Dick Johnson, Bastion Booger, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco, and Abe Knuckleball Schwartz. This is very strange. All these people seem pretty excited for this for some reason. Stephanie then says Vince has a serious problem (you bet) and has embarrassed the family for long enough and now it was time for her to embarrass him. She walks over to Triple H and gives him a big smooch. Vince looks PISSED as Steph finally leaves. He then walks up to Triple H, tells him how much he hates him, and screams to the crowd that they can all go straight to HELLLLLLL. Once all the McMahons were gone, Hornswoggle looked sad. HHH said if only there was someone who could make this right. Cue the Godfather and the Ho Train. Bridgeport’s finest strippers there, folks. They come down and rubbed their boobies in Hornswoggle’s face. There’s twenty minutes of your life you will want back.

• Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Carlito

Can anyone explain why this is happening? No you can’t, because Carlito has been jobbing to a midget for weeks and now he’s getting an IC title match.  Carlito grabs the ladder first and bashes Jeff in the face with it. He slowly gets inside the ring and starts to climb, but Hardy is right there to pull him down. Carlito stops a Twist of Fate and nearly gets the see-saw ladder effect right in his face, but then takes a back bump off the apron onto the ladder while it’s leaned up against the guardrail. While Jeff tries to retrieve the belt, Carlito springboards onto the ladder and sunset flip powerbombs him to the mat. Holy crap. Commercials! When we come back, Hardy does the spot where he leaps over the ladder in the corner and tries the legdrop, but misses. Time for some psychology as Carlito goes to work on Jeff’s leg using the ladder. As Lawler says, you can’t climb a ladder if you can’t walk. Moving forward, Carlito leans a ladder in the corner and charges Jeff, but Hardy catches him and backdrops Carlito on the ladder. The SWANTON BOMB connects, but Carlito counters the Twist of Fate and gives Jeff the BACKCRACKER ON THE LADDER. Hardy still manages to meet Carlito at the top of the ladder though. He knocks Carlito off the ladder down onto the ropes and grabs the IC belt to win the match. (10:11 shown) A couple really cool spots, but ultimately a forgettable match overall since there was no chance Jeff was losing to Carlito and a very anticlimactic finish to boot. **½

In the back, Todd Grisham brings out Shawn Michaels. He said he couldn’t remember who he fought on that first Raw show because that was a very rough time for him and quite frankly also a bit foggy. Tonight, Mr. Kennedy will be facing Rock Rock Til You Drop Rock Rock Never Stop Marty Jannetty!

We get some RAW Flashbacks. It’s been a pretty good show, I must say.

After the break, Santino Marella and Maria are in the ring. He’s sick of this nostalgia show and half way gets through an open challenge when ROB VAN DAM returns.

• Rob Van Dam vs. Santino Marella (w/Maria)

Surprise, surprise. Santino jumps RVD when he’s RVD’ing and that was his first mistake. He kicks Santino in the face, gives him the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH, finishes his “RVD” pointing, and covers Santino for the three-count in 25 seconds.

Time for the Evolution reunion. Sure why not. They all come out with separate entrances to show their lack (?) of solidarity. Being the last to come out, the WWE champ Randy Orton refuses to join the other three because he’s the man right now. I mean, the last time they were all together, they all turned on him. Why the heck *would* he want anything to do with these guys anymore? Instead, Orton calls on his old pal Edge. The two sides exchange threats until Flair tells them to get another partner for an old fashioned six-man. WOO! Fine with them. Orton and Edge’s partner will be – UMAGA.

• Triple H, Batista & Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton, Edge & Umaga

Match is JIP as Flair gets chosen to do most of the work as he’s beaten down by the heels. The Garvin Stomp by Orton gets two. Orton misses a dropkick though allowing a hot tag to Bats. The match breaks down as Triple H and Batista hit STEREO SPINEBUSTERS on Rated RKO. Umaga cuts them both off though and tosses the ref aside for an instant DQ. (3:58 shown) Flair tries to save the day, but that’s a terrible idea. Umaga NO-SELLS his stuff and threatens him with the Samoan Spike when Bats knocks him for a loop. Rated RKO hit the ramp leaving Umaga all alone for a low blow by Flair, a spear from Bats, and the PEDIGREE from Triple H. We catch Jeff Hardy watching on the monitor backstage. They finally play Evolution’s music to end the segment. This was fun. *½

They showed a bunch of car crash highlights over the years on RAW, which is A LOT of footage when you put it all together.

Back to the show, Hornswoggle is backstage bothering Molly Holly and Mickie James when William Regal stops by and punishes him with a match against the Great Khali. He also noted that someone had cancelled Finlay’s plane ticket, so he won’t be here tonight. OR WILL HE?

• The Great Khali (w/Ranjin Singh) vs. Hornswoggle

As soon as Khali grabs the little guy, HULK HOGAN comes out. This should be setting up Hogan and Khali at WrestleMania 24. Khali pounds on Hogan so he can HULK UP, give him the three punches, and a running clothesline! DOWN GOES KHALI! He rolls to the floor pissed off. OH MAN. I don’t care who you are. There’s a part of every fan who would pay to see that. Hogan then cuts a promo thanking the fans and WWE who he calls the best wrestling company on the planet. He drops a Randy Savage “OOH YEAH” in there for some reason. He would stick around, but he’s got to leave for L.A. to shoot the revival show American Gladiators which will be airing on NBC starting January 6. N/R

We get D-Generation X clips for our next RAW Flashback.

And if that wasn’t enough, they follow it up with another RAW Flashback showing the debut of Mr. Socko and the bed pan ass whooping Vince gets next by Dr. Austin. You know, the good old days.

• 16-Man Battle Royal

Howard Finkel does the introductions. The entrants are Al Snow, Bart Gunn, Doink the Clown (MATT BORNE AND NOT STEVE LOMBARDI! YES!), Repo Man, Steve Blackman, Pete Gas, Bob Backlund, Gangrel, IRS, The Goon, Skinner, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter, and last but not least GILLBERG. He gets the full entrance and everything. However, he’s the first to go as he’s thrown out by the other 15 guys. The final four comes down to Scotty 2 Hotty, IRS, Sgt. Slaughter, and Skinner. Ross says S2H won’t be able to WORM his way out of this one, but he does hit IRS with his own briefcase and lands the WORM! Once that’s over, Skinner throws S2H out. Sarge grabs Skinner for the COBRA CLUTCH, but Skinner runs him into the buckle. Slaughter sidesteps a charge from Skinner and tosses him out, but then IRS grabs Slaughter and tosses him out for the win. (4:08) Ted DiBiase interrupts the victory celebration and gives IRS some serious cheese to eliminate himself so DiBiase can win the battle royal while still dressed up in his tuxedo. BRILLIANT. He then gets on the mic and says that everybody still has a price for the Million Dollar Man. ¾*

Time for another RAW Flashback. We see all the slaps on RAW over the years.

Eric Bischoff comes out to shed some fake tears over how good it makes him feel to be invited to RAW’s 15th Anniversary celebration. He then tells the fans that he wasn’t there to put smiles on faces, but to take the money out of your wallet. Bischoff says that even the McMahons rely on guys like him to reinvent the wrestling business over and over again for your entertainment and that the people should applaud him. Well of course, he gets a STRONG negative reaction from the crowd. That brings out Chris Jericho. Bischoff brings up the fact that he fired Jericho two years ago. Jericho thinks that actually turned out for the best for him because now he’s recharged and better than ever – ready to become the WWE champion this Sunday at Armageddon. Hmm, not the warmest reception to that idea. Bischoff brings up an interesting point saying if Jericho really wants to Save_Us, then he needs to just go ahead and forfeit his WWE title match now in order to save the people their hard earned $40 who will be paying just to watch him lose. Jericho gets pissed and beats up Bischoff, but that gets Randy Orton to slither out to the ring. Jericho gets the jump on him and puts Orton in the WALLS OF JERICHO. Orton taps out and everybody is supposed to think that Jericho has Orton’s number, but you’ll have to FIND OUT THIS SUNDAY LIVE ON PPV AS TO WHETHER OR NOT HE DOES IN FACT HAVE RANDY ORTON’S NUMBER.

• World Tag Team Championship: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes

The American Dream Dusty Rhodes comes out in public if you will to join JR and Lawler on commentary. Can you imagine this being a regular thing? I would have watched SO MUCH CURRENT WWE BACK THEN IF IT HAD BEEN A REGULAR THING. Not a good time for Lance Cade to get some swanky tights though. Naturally, Cody is face in peril as Dusty looks on concerned. Holly gets the hot tag and lands the Best Dropkick in the Business on Murdoch. Some heel miscommunication ensues as Cade wipes out Murdoch. Cody takes Cade to the floor while Holly hits the ALABAMA SLAM on Murdoch for the win and the tag titles. (2:33) Dusty comes into the ring to celebrate with Holly and Cody, but mostly Cody. No time given though. ½*

RAW Flashback time. Hey, WWE has had celebrities on the show. Remember when Ben Stiller showed up and said he liked puppies?

Another RAW Flashback: We get some history on the WWE Divas which evolved over the course of RAW.

Afterwards, we go back to RAW where Jillian Hall hypes her new Christmas album coming out tomorrow on iTunes. She gives us a sample and as you might imagine, it’s pretty rough. Trish Stratus is here to Save_Us.X29. She’s sorry to interrupt, but she’s so happy to be back on RAW. She also tells Jillian her album is really bad, but Jillian just thinks Trish has a big ego. Well, here comes Lita. Her and Trish hate Jillian’s singing so bad that they actually work together to beat her up and send her running. Trish and Lita then embrace and looks like they like each other now.

Some more RAW Flashbacks of the “comedy” we have enjoyed here on RAW over the years.

MORE RAW FLASHBACKS: It’s wedding time!

Backstage, Lita was watching this on the monitor, and turned around to see Kane. Creepy. They share an uncomfortable conversation. In comes Faarooq for his weekly DAMN moment.

• Mr. Kennedy vs. Marty Jannetty

Jannetty controls to start with his ’80s offense. Kennedy dropkicks the knee to take over and starts tearing at the leg. This match should have already been over and the fact that it’s still competitive would cause me to think I should be looking for employment elsewhere if I were Mr. Kennedy. Marty scores with an enziguri and comes back to hit the ROCKER DROPPER. Jannetty gets tripped up top for the Finlay Roll, but Jannetty counters with a sunset flip for 1-2-NO! Yeah, that would frustrate me. Kennedy grabs him for the MIC CHECK though and ends this one. (4:41) If it takes Kennedy this long to beat Jannetty, how could you possibly believe he has a chance against Shawn Michaels? Afterwards, Kennedy puts the boots to Jannetty to bring out HBK for a fight. Sporting his DX gear now, Triple H comes out to distract Kennedy so Shawn can regroup and throw him out. Now that the ring is empty, Shawn and Hunter can do the DX thing. ¾*

It’s Main Event Interview Time! Vince McMahon is out here to announce the GREATEST SUPERSTAR IN RAW HISTORY. Naturally, Vince declares himself the Greatest Superstar in RAW history. As he starts his acceptance speech, Mankind and Mr. Socko head out to the ring. Vince tells him to leave and gets Mr. Socko shoved in his mouth. BONG. Oh man. The lights go out and it’s time for the Undertaker to confront the boss. Vince is still selling the Mandible Claw during this whole entrance. Taker stands in the ring waiting for Vince to get up and turn around so he can give him a CHOKESLAM. He then does his pose and the lights go out. When the lights come up, Taker is gone. GLASS SHATTERS! Here come Stone Cold Steve Austin to the ring. He does his four corner thing and cuts a WHAT promo on Vince. Austin says he came out to toast RAW and the fifteen years on the air and all Vince can do is lay there in the ring. He gets down on the mat with Vince so they can drink a beer together. Austin doesn’t feel like this is working and helps Vince to his feet. He hands Vince a beer, tells him congrats on RAW’s 15th anniversary, takes a sip of beer, and then Austin delivers the STONE COLD STUNNER we all wanted to see. After Austin celebrates, he calls the greatest superstar in RAW history is all the fans watching in the audience and at home. So everyone in the locker room from all three brands, babyfaces and heels alike, including Ross and Lawler, came out to celebrate. As the show was about to end, Vince threw a tantrum, climbed up onto the apron, and Austin punched him on more time. Austin had the biggest grin on his face, having the time of his life after drinking since literally the early afternoon.

This one took some will power to get through. ARMAGEDDON IS NEXT! Until then, so long for now!