WWF: Raw is War
August 10, 1998
Omaha, NE
Omaha Civic Auditorium

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: Steve Austin (6/29/1998)
Intercontinental Champion: The Rock (12/8/1997)
World Tag Team Champions: The Undertaker & Steve Austin (7/26/1998)
European Champion: D’Lo Brown (7/20/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku (12/7/1997)

Before we see the RAW intro, we catch up with Mankind pacing around backstage carrying a chair and talking to himself about knowing the truth and how he can’t handle it. He continues to pace up some stairs until we can no longer see or hear him. He’s a MESS.

They show a video package highlighting the Undertaker and Kane’s complicated relationship and how Mankind getting waffled with chairs and TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVERS on the floor are getting in the middle of it all. In case you missed Sunday Night Heat, Undertaker posed as Kane and assaulted Mankind, thus furthering the belief there’s collusion between the two Brothers of Destruction. We might find out just what the hell is going on tonight on RAW!

TIME TO GET RAW. Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Mankind wanders out to the ring and says there’s only one man who has ever told him the truth – and that’s Mr. McMahon. HELP, VINCE, HELP! Well, Mr. McMahon slowly walks out to the ring and the crowd wants Steve Austin to come out and whoop his ass. Mankind sits down in the ring rocking back and forth while Vince grovels in helping Mankind for a second, but then he decides to let Mankind know he LOATHES people who need help. It makes his stomach turn, but Mankind is a special case because he knows Mankind didn’t invite him out to the ring to help him but to *hurt* him. Vince says Kane could have struck either the Undertaker or Mankind last week with a steel chair and feels it was no accident Mankind was whacked with the chair. Mankind then stands to his feet with a weird smile on his face. Undertaker could have then taken out Kane with the chair, but he did what Kane had just done to Mankind. Vince explains that when Undertaker posed as Kane on Sunday Night Heat that it might as well have *been* Kane who attacked Mankind. He continues to say that the collusion between the two brothers are not just against Mankind or Steve Austin, but against every WWF superstar. They are one in the same. KABOOM! Here comes Paul Bearer with Kane. JR says this could get ugly in a hurry. Paul Bearer interrupts and tells Vince that he may be the puppeteer of the WWF and can get in Mankind’s mind, but Paul will be DAMNED if Vince thinks he can get in Paul Bearer’s mind or his son Kane’s mind. How would Vince feel if someone else poisoned his son’s mind? Paul will be DAMNED TO HELL if he’ll let Vince ruin Kane. Bearer explains he’s made a lot of money working for Vince over the last seven years and doesn’t need Vince anymore as far as he’s concerned. McMahon stops Bearer from talking and seems convinced Kane is the Undertaker under the mask. He demands Kane take off the mask or he’ll rip the mask off himself. When Kane won’t remove the mask, Vince reaches at his face when the whole arena goes dark. GET THE LIGHTS BACK ON, WILL YA? Next thing we know, there’s no Kane and the Undertaker is in the ring and has Vince McMahon GOOZLED. Mankind starts beating on the Undertaker, but Taker ultimately punches Mankind and Paul Bearer down. He chases after Vince leaving Mankind and Paul Bearer to embrace. Ross wonders what all this means, and wants to know what Steve Austin thinks about this.

Ross mentions that the “rumor on the internet” is that DX is disbanding. Can you imagine these words uttered on WWE TV today? Backstage, we see the Undertaker walking into a locker room where you can see Kane off in the distance just as the door shuts.

• Luna (w/the Oddities) vs. Jacqueline (w/Marc Mero)

Since Sable has to have some reason to be on TV, she is the ring announcer for this match and remains neutral at ringside. Ross calls this Jacqueline’s WWF wrestling debut. Luna takes down Jacqueline by her hair. Mero hops up on the apron to yell at the ref and Sable pulls him down to the floor. He looks to get in Sable’s face when Kurrgan scares him off. Meanwhile, Luna shoves Jacqueline and the ref out to the floor. Mero helps her back inside and Luna is right back on top of her wailing away. Jacqueline comes back with the hairmares and drops a knee to the vagina bone. There’s a slam on Luna as Jacqueline climbs up top, but Sable trips her up. Why is Sable hanging out with these losers? Luna lands a swinging neckbreaker and a flying splash to the face gets the three-count at 2:25.

Backstage, the New Age Outlaws show up to the building in a limo and they look pissed.

• Brawl for All: Darren Drozdov vs. Savio Vega

FIRST ROUND: Lots of punches thrown, but not a lot of punches landing. Droz gets 5 points.

SECOND ROUND: Droz goes wild with the punches and then takes down Savio for a solid five points. He lands some more blows and puts Savio on his backside to end the round.

THIRD ROUND: Droz manages another takedown and scores five more. He lands some more blows, but Savio WILL NOT DIE. Drozdov wins by decision. He will face the winner of Marc Mero and Bradshaw in the Brawl for All Semifinals next week.

Backstage, Triple H and Chyna show up in a BMW convertible. Where’s X-Pac?

After the break, Michael Cole talks with Chyna out back. He asks for a word on the DX situation. She’s actually got two words for him – SUCK IT. She then shoves Michael Cole into the convertible. Nice bump!

As LOD 2000 comes out to the ring, Road Warrior Hawk looks like he seizes out during the pyro and falls off the ramp to the floor. Let’s go to commercial.

When we come back, Hawk appears to be in no condition to compete. Commissioner Slaughter, Tony Garea, and some referees try to talk some sense into him.

While they work this out, they take us back to Sunday Night Heat when Jeff Jarrett and Southern Justice dumped Tennessee Lee.

As Southern Justice comes out for their match, Dennis Knight puts his finger in Hawk’s face and they start fighting. Animal gets involved and Southern Justice starts beating him up as the agents and refs help Hawk to the back. DARREN DROZDOV comes out to help his buddy Animal and we’ve got a match brewing.

• Southern Justice vs. Road Warrior Animal & Darren Drozdov

Nevermind, there’s no match. Jeff Jarrett won’t stand for it. He runs down, debuts the “DON’T PISS ME OFF!” guitar, and KABONGS Droz. With Drozdov down on the mat, Jarrett pulls out some clippers and cuts Droz’s hair! Ross is convinced Jarrett is a changed man.

X-Pac enters the arena. No fancy cars, just a small man and his duffle bag.

After the break, the D-Generation X people head to the ring with separate entrances. Triple H starts to talk on the mic when X-Pac takes it away from him to say he’s had it with Triple H and his BITCH. Whoa. He’s come to the conclusion they are a couple of jack-offs. Now they do a bit where they can’t believe everyone is calling each other jack-offs. Helmsley thinks there’s a discrepancy about whether or not they should stay together or split. Apparently, the fans really want to see a DX Split, which is just the crew mooning the audience. Chyna tells them to wait and asks them if they think everybody is tired of seeing their asses every week. Instead, Chyna pulls her pants down, and shows her rear. Okay then. Ross can’t believe they took the bait hook, line, and sinker. Even with all their faults, I’m not sure how anyone can prefer DX over the nWo.

Elsewhere, Steve Austin is contemplating life backstage. We’ll hear from him next.

After the break, Michael Cole gets a word from Steve Austin. Stone Cold couldn’t care less what Michael Cole thinks and takes him back into the locker room shower. Ahh, now he’s all wet!

TIME TO ENTER THE WARZONE! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

• The Godfather (w/some hos) vs. Vader

Before Vader’s entrance, Bart Gunn comes over to Jim Ross and demands some respect for knocking out Dr. Death Steve Williams. Ross apologizes to Bart for misunderstanding him, but the man Bart needs to worry about is the Godfather, who he’ll meet next week in the Brawl for All semifinals. Bart says if Vader doesn’t knock the Godfather out, he will.  In the ring, Godfather offers Vader the hos for the night if he’ll leave. VADER TAKES THE HOS AND HE AIN’T GIVING ‘EM BACK. Bart can’t believe what he’s seeing and KO’s Vader with his crazy left hand. He then runs in after Godfather and wails away on him until the refs and agents separate the two. Next thing we see, Godfather and the hos are in the aisle heading back to the dressing room.

In the back, we see Val Venis and John Wayne Bobbitt have showed up to the arena.

After the break, Dustin Runnels shows up on the TitanTron to give us a content disclaimer on what we’re about to see and suggests we watch the special on reptiles over on the Discovery Channel. Remember mom and dad, you are making choices for your children and choose wisely because Jesus Christ is coming back. What were they thinking here? To end the segment, the preceding announcement was paid for by the Evangelists Against Television, Movies, and Entertainment – or as you know them best, EATME.

Val Venis is escorted to the ring in a wheelchair by John Wayne Bobbitt and Mrs. Yamaguchi. They take us back to the end of last week’s RAW when it appeared Kaientai chopped off Val’s nether regions. Jerry Lawler handles the proceedings. As you may or may not know, John Wayne Bobbitt made worldwide headlines in 1993 when it was made known his wife severed his dick with a carving knife. It was a whole sensationalized story and now five years later that the WWF is going with a completely different type of presentation, they can sensationalize it again. Val stands up and has an ice pack on his dick. He comes to the WWF audience half the man he used to be. Even in this moment, there’s dick puns and double-entendres. None of it matters because Val’s dick got cold and he was saved by shrinkage. Somebody’s watching Seinfeld. Apparently, John Wayne Bobbitt was the one who turned out the lights and that helped Val get away from Kaientai. WHAT? Lawler asks Bobbitt what he and Val have been doing. More cheap severed dick jokes. Val celebrates this moment by dumping Mrs. Yamaguchi because no woman is worth the trouble brought to him. He hopes she enjoyed the ride because this is where she gets off. HIT THE BRICKS. This would have been a great time to yell “sayonara” at her, but he settles for “adios” for some reason. Before she goes, Val throws her a battery for her vibrator. What a way to break up with someone. No words. Just toss a AA to them.

When we return, we see Edge hanging out in the crowd. He looks lost – scared, even.

• Brawl for All: Bradshaw vs. Marc Mero

FIRST ROUND: This is the final quarterfinal matchup. The winner of this one faces Droz. I’d really like to see a knockout here. Bradshaw takes Mero down and gets five points. Mero delivers a couple jabs for five points and that’s about it for the first round.

SECOND ROUND: Another takedown from Bradshaw gets five points, but again Mero is landing blows. We are now at ten points apiece.

THIRD ROUND: This round gets pretty heated as Bradshaw takes Mero to the mat and calls for a f*king break. Mero blocks a takedown and gets in the ropes. There’s some body shots. Mero continues to pepper Bradshaw, so Bradshaw takes him to the mat for the rest of the time. Bradshaw wouldn’t break when Mero did. The decision comes to a draw at 15 points each and so we get one more round hoping to finish.

FOURTH ROUND: Mero peppers Bradshaw some more and they have a hard time breaking when both guys are in the ropes. There’s a big takedown by Bradshaw. Mero tries a takedown, but they wind up in the ropes. They hook onto each other to end the fourth round and Bradshaw is awarded the fight I’m assuming for the takedown. Whatever, next week we’ll see Bradshaw and Droz in the Brawl for All semifinals. CONTROVERSIAL FINISH? You better believe it.

After the break, Michael Cole catches up with the Undertaker. He says he’ll explain his actions in the ring. Not a good night for Michael Cole.

• WWF World Tag Team Championship: The Undertaker & Steve Austin (c) vs. The New Age Outlaws vs. Kane & Mankind (w/Paul Bearer) vs. The Rock & Owen Hart

Lot of talent in this match. The Rock and Owen come out first, and after the Outlaws enter the ring to do their weekly shtick, Ken Shamrock shows up and attacks Owen Hart. Meanwhile, the Outlaws double-team the Rock! Oh no, Shamrock has snapped. He puts Owen in the ANKLELOCK. Here comes the rest of DX and the Nation to continue their full-scale war. JR – “It is chaotic!” No one pays attention to Owen and Shamrock until Steve Blackman shows up and convinces Shamrock to release the hold. After our last commercial break, European champion D’Lo Brown – chest protector and all – has decided to replace Owen in this match. During their entrance, Mankind keeps his distance from Kane and Paul Bearer. There’s a lot going on here, and we haven’t even got to the match yet. Undertaker and Steve Austin receive separate entrances.

Alright, let’s get it on. Austin and Mankind start us off brawling in the center of the ring. Mankind catches Austin with a swinging neckbreaker for a quick nearfall. Austin wants to make him pay with a Stone Cold Stunner, but Mankind pushes him away and bails. Meanwhile, Rock attacks Austin, and gets punched back to the apron. Mankind jumps Austin and wants a suplex to the floor, but Austin counters with a neck snap on the ropes, and brings Mankind back in with a suplex of his own for two. D’Lo tags in, and beats up Austin a little bit. Poor fan finds himself in the ring and gets taken out by Earl. He comes back with a Thesz Press and the elbow. Tag to Kane, he briefly gets a piece of D’Lo before tagging Billy Gunn. Rocker Dropper and press slam gets two. Road Dogg gets a turn and takes a beating from Mankind and D’Lo. Back to Gunn, he levels D’Lo with the Jackhammer for two. UT pulls Gunn off the cover, which kind of terrifies Billy. D’Lo tags Austin, who tries to rip Gunn’s arm off. Since D’Lo wouldn’t tag the Undertaker, Austin gives him a shot to a HUGE ovation. Austin shows a little team spirit by dropping Gunn on the guardrail down on the floor. In one of those ridiculous moments in tag matches with more than two teams are included, Billy Gunn tags Austin to go against the Undertaker. JR says you can fight each other, but can’t pin them. WHAT. The tag champs make the Outlaws pay, as Austin beats on Gunn while UT goes Old School on Road Dogg. Tag to D’Lo, Road Dogg becomes the punching bag for the Nation. Sky High from D’Lo gets a nearfall. People’s Elbow also hits for 1-2-NO! Austin pulls Rock off the cover. Mankind beats on Road Dogg while spitting on Austin and Taker. Being preoccupied, Road Dogg surprises Mankind with a Russian legsweep. He wants to tag Billy, but Mankind knocks him off the apron. Instead, Road Dogg settles for tagging the Undertaker. It’s a pier-six brawl as Undertaker clears everybody out except for Kane. During the chaos, Mankind tags Kane in, who goozles his brother Undertaker for a CHOKESLAM. Cover, 1-2-3! We’ve got new tag champs. (14:29) Well, that seems kind of fishy considering the Undertaker couldn’t be beaten with just one chokeslam from Kane every other time they had met before. Even Austin is pretty confused by this. CONSPIRACY? Match was hot as can be, and wasn’t too bad a match. **½

That will do it for this week. Until next time, so long for now.